So Men’s Health wrote some article the other day called “Talking Sports With Uninterested Women” and it’s got the PC dooshnozzle patrol so fired up they don’t know what to do with themselves. Basically it’s an article geared towards dudes who are in relationships with women who find their sports watching to be tedious. Now you may be saying to yourself, “so what? Who gives a shit? Lots of men can relate to this.” But, you don’t even realize that this microagression of yours makes you a misogynist!!!
Now I think Men’s Health is all in all a really shitty magazine. Just a bunch of cliche shit about how dudes should go to the gym and women don’t understand us. Pretty harmless shit if you ask me.
But not according to Deadspin!! According to them this is more misogyny. And they would know, since they don’t employ a single female writer, and have one black dude on payroll. For those of you unfamiliar with this weak sauce blog, let me paint a picture for you. Close your eyes and think of of a bunch of white, middle-class, urban hipsters, who think they’re funny because they’re snarky little asshats.
That’s the Deadspin staff.
When Deadspin isn’t writing about Brett Favre’s dick pics, or making up unconfirmed Manti Te’o side stories, or showing naked pictures of Grady Sizemore, or complaining about the Redskins, they’re usually doing their best to alleviate all the guilt they feel about being more with a white penis. So naturally they had to get outraged about this story in Men’s Health.
Here’s a paragraph from their piece on it:
Not only is Men’s Health willing to speak truth to power by pointing out, against all evidence, that women don’t actually enjoy watching sports, but they’re willing to help all of us cool, good dudes with penises out by teaching us the secret that will allow us to talk to women about sports. Are you a bro who, while hanging out with your bros, has seen a woman watching sports and thought, “She looks like she’s into sports, but she probably really isn’t”? Mens Health has you covered. They can explain what’s going on. They’ve figured out that women aren’t into sports, but storylines. That’s exactly the sort of thing that my bros and I never would have thought of.
Newsflash – women don’t give a shit about sports. Sure, that is a completely broad generalization. But on a macro-level, it’s 100% accurate. Relax there Suze McFeminist – I know a lot of women like sports, and some men don’t give a shit about sports. Doesn’t change the fact that on a whole men care about sports a million times more than women. Denying this is denying science. I don’t care how many times you sing “I am woman hear me roar,” it’s not gonna change the facts.
Here’s the bottom line. Without men there would be no sports on TV. Women watch sports if men are watching it. But show me the bar where a bunch of hot women are getting together with their girlfriends for a night of football. And I’m not talking about just being in a place where football is on and casually watching it while taking selfies in their hot new Tom Brady jersey. Because if women really like sports as much as men, then that would be a common occurrence. Happens with dudes all the time.
Show me the bar where a bunch of women come together and talk about whether or not the Patriots will be in cap jail next year. Show me the bar where women get together and make fun of the Detroit Lions for drafting ANOTHER wide receiver in the first round of the draft. Show me the bar where women get into arguments about who will and won’t be getting into the MLB Hall of Fame. When you can do that, then we’ll talk about equality in the sports enjoyment sector.
My question is, why do we have to pretend like we’re all equally invested in something? So men like sports more than women. Who gives a shit? Women like Sex and the City more than I do. Sure you could go out and find some idiot who actually liked that God-forsaken program, but it doesn’t change the fact that on the whole most dudes think that show blows (and not just that old blonde woman who’s always getting nailed either).
Want some actual proof? Look no further than Turtleboy Sports and Turtleboy Sports Facebook page. Guess which blogs I’ve written here at Turtleboy SPORTS that have gotten the most hits? God damn Busgate, Blackstone Mom, and the Big E. The only people who read my sports blogs are the dudes.
I also just wanna say that Turtleboy Sports isn’t awesome because of the blogs themselves. It’s because of the comments. I have friends who click on my blogs and don’t even read them. They just go straight to the comments. I don’t give a shit because I get credited with the page view either way. But man, I judge a blog based on the people who read it, and we’ve got some awesome fucking people who read TBSports.
The other day I wrote an article about my apple picking trip. Got tons of hit, and tons of comments. I guarantee at least 65% of the readers were female. And here were the comments on it:
See that? Those are awesome comments. All of em. Good discussion about honey crisp apples we’ve got going on here. Meanwhile, I write an article about Aaron Dobson and Josh McDaniels having an argument in practice and it turns into a sausage fest right on cue:
Holy shit, that is a lot of cock!!! See that? That’s what dudes do. We argue about sports. That’s what makes us men. And that’s the difference between men and women when it comes to sports. Women will watch it because it’s on, but men will devour it. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong or politically incorrect about that. At least there shouldn’t be.
Speaking of judging a blog by it’s commenters, the only thing worse than Deadspin writers are the beatniks who comment on Deadspin. Every asshole on there is in an eternal struggle to write the wittiest comment with a punchline that ends in calling someone else a racist or a misogynist. Here are some winners from today’s piece:
Newsflash – if you’re watching the baseball game and reading Deadspin AND commenting on Deadspin, then you’re not really watching the game. This feministo literally just proved my point for me.
You bought the MLB package? Wow, you must be a really big sports fan. Congrats. Doesn’t change the fact that this puts you in a very distinct minority group. But yea, tell me more about how most women are like you. The real question is, do you where a glove while watching the big match in your living room?
Oh look – an anecdote!! I guess that proves me wrong. Here I was thinking that men generally watched and enjoyed sports more than women, but little did I know that this one babe from Kentucky really likes to watch UK basketball and football. She likes it so much that she wants to talk to her boyfriend about it, but he doesn’t like sports nearly as much as her. So clearly then, women like sports equally or more so than men.
Let’s just check out the demographics from Deadspin, a sports website, and see who’s reading anyway:
Oh what do ya know? 80% dudes. But, but, but, that one girl really likes Kentucky basketball?? I’m so confused now.
Look, the real problem is how this all manifests itself. The fact that people believe in this nonsense is the reason we have to watch Erin Andrews do legitimate interviews during the playoffs. Remember Erin Andrews? The woman who got her job because she looks good naked? Yea, she’s an embarrassment to women everywhere. But instead of the feministos calling for her to be fired and replaced with a less attractive woman who actually gives a shit about sports, they call you a misogynist if you point out that she’s a dolt. Ask Kirk Minihane at WEEI how that story ends up.
Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.