All-Star Criminals

Dear Feminists: An Open Letter From SSTurtlegirl To Any Of You Who Bullied Steve Martin About His Tweet Remembering Carrie Fisher

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I saw something yesterday that, as a woman, nearly made my head explode.

Click here: NY Mag Article Shaming Martin

Steve Catches Crap Follow-Up

Dear Feminists,

Yooooooou cunts. I’ve kept my yap shut long enough on your inability to take a joke. Trying to police our entire gender because you read some book on how to make your cervix more elastic than mine. But yesterday, one of the great female idols died. She was my hero since I was a kid. Carrie Fisher has been plastered on my wall since I was five. I liked that she was bossy, rebellious, her hair was on point. Carrie wrote women that were real, opinionated, and strong. She struggled being Bipolar. She stood up for the fact she aged on screen and didn’t back down to cliché beauty. She also had an incredible sense of humor. The woman was an icon. Not your latest reason to whine on Twitter. Not another reason to throw you hands up in the air and claiming the fates of 2016.

You know what you did? You waited for a shining spirit of female fortitude to breathe her last breath and you shoved your hairy armpits in to the face of Steve Martin.

STEVE “FUNKY TUT WILD AND CRAZY GUY” MARTIN. The man is a legend of good cheer. An altruistic saint. Friend of the late, and very feministic, Gilda Radner. A guy who lived through the late 60’s and 70’s when the foundation of feminism was laid and supported the cause. Before it was tarnished by you tank asses. When being a feminist actually meant something other than dreadlocking your roast beef curtains back so you don’t trip on them with your birkies.

“When I was a young man, Carrie Fisher was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen,” Martin wrote on Twitter before removing the post. “She turned out to be witty and bright as well.”

He gets to. He knew her. We’re all creatures on this planet and he was saying goodbye to his actual friend. Making a fine remembrance that her spirit was an anomaly. Not someone you rubbed one out to in college, while majoring in women studies, because she was one of the only chicks in a fandom swimming with sausage.

You burly slophounds bullied him until he had to remove his VERY personal goodbye because it didn’t fit in your labia-shaped nap sack of gender conformity.

I’m so unbelievably mad that he deleted his tribute because of you pie apes. His tribute should have stayed for her family. For her daughter. It had nothing to do with you and you trashed it.

So, speaking as a woman who can walk in to any boys club in America and hold the fucking room, STOP SPEAKING FOR ALL OF US. It’s almost 2017. WE DON’T NEED TO BE DEFENDED. MOST OF US CAN HANG ON OUR OWN. You know who taught me that? CARRIE FISHER.

Go fuck yourselves,

South Shore Turtlegirl

P.S I hate you




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21 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    December 30, 2016 at 11:46 am

    I hate the way everyone defers to these hairy, sweaty, fuchsia haired ham planets. Their opinion isn’t any more valid than anyone else’s. Infact, in this instance they’re less valid because Steve Martin KNEW CARRIE FISHER PERSONALLY.

    Of COURSE he noticed her beauty first – a person’s humor and intelligence can’t be measured visibly. And he would have to have been blind not to; Carrie Fisher was a striking beauty.

  • Adey J.
    December 30, 2016 at 3:42 am

    Dear SS Turtlegirl,

    Thank you for this… And for making me proud to be a girl again!

    Every time I see these feminazi bullies get away with shit like this it makes me want to light a bunch of shit on fire…

    I don’t need broads like this speaking for me any more than I need a dude to, which is really what is so fucking frustrating… They think they’re taking a stand for women but in reality they’re setting the Women’s Rights Movement back like a hundred years cause everyone just wants them to keep their fat mouths shut… Myself included.

    Thank you for being a voice from normal women who have bigger problems than pretending to have hurt feelings about irrelevant shit they’ve managed to misconstrue.

  • Justice
    December 30, 2016 at 12:43 am

    Sing it, my sister!

  • BobnMic
    December 29, 2016 at 5:57 pm

    Unbelievable on how Carrie’s Mom Debbie Reynolds dies the very next day (yesterday). If that is not a story of a Mom with a broken heart then I don’t know what is. In addition wasn’t one of Debbie’s last words before she past was that she wanted to be with Carrie? Did I read that correctly? My God what a sad story and I totally get your outrage South STG.

  • Jack Mehoff
    December 29, 2016 at 4:00 pm

    The social justice warriors are becoming more strident every day. Total losers. They lost the election, they all have low self esteem and all are most likely clinically depressed. On that last point I have family members who fit in that category so when I’ve conversed with many SJW’s I’ve noticed many similarities to diagnosed mental illness.

    Best thing is to ignore them, not respond to them. Maybe some day they will grow into responsible, thinking adults.

  • BeantownBuck
    December 29, 2016 at 3:02 pm


    I’m loving South Shore Turtlegirl more and more with every passing blog.

    Well done sister!!!!

  • Han Solo
    December 29, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    Blah, blah, blah! Hey Turtlegirl show us your tits!

    • December 29, 2016 at 4:01 pm

      You got cash? I’m not giving you a peek at these babies for free.

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        December 29, 2016 at 4:47 pm

        Don’t do it, he most certainly lives in a basement somewhere and is 45+ just waiting for a woman to give him attention…

  • Bill P.
    December 29, 2016 at 2:05 pm

    ‘apprised’ …. and not just a typo-iphone-not paying attention mishap.

    This stupid SJW actually doesn’t know the difference between apprised and aspired.

    What a cunt.

  • KimberlyS
    December 29, 2016 at 2:03 pm

    Hear Hear!!!

    These bitches do NOT speak for me.

    Steve Martin’s tribute was lovely and honest. Stupid cunts. (And that is a word that I RARELY use.)

  • Phong
    December 29, 2016 at 1:39 pm

    I don’t know what’s sadder, losing Carrie Fisher, or her good friend getting shit for grieving her passing.

    Rest in peace Carrie.

    sorry for your loss Steve.

    • December 29, 2016 at 2:00 pm

      I feel THE EXACT same way.

      • Turd Burglestein
        December 30, 2016 at 9:12 am

        I see you becoming less liberal with each new article. You can’t fight it…you’re becoming conservative.

        Come to the dark side.

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    December 29, 2016 at 1:33 pm

    I like you when you’re angry……..

    • December 29, 2016 at 2:00 pm

      I channeled you a little when I was writing this I think. Haha

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        December 29, 2016 at 4:48 pm

        It’s perfect. It was written so well I got angry for no reason at all!

  • Jim Bob
    December 29, 2016 at 1:32 pm

    Martin was correct, the others are out-there mentally. Also her mother Debbie Reynolds died a day later. The whole thing is sad.

  • Mambo
    December 29, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    Did you guys get bought out by Buzzfeed? WTF are all this gifs as I’m scrolling down

    • December 29, 2016 at 1:27 pm

      What? They made me laugh! Haha

      • Jamie
        December 29, 2016 at 6:04 pm

        The gifs were perfect. Bravo on the takedown!

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