Smiles And Sunshine

Despite Reports That Turtleboy Is Dying We Cracked 100 Million Page Views This Morning


So this just happened.

Turtleboy Sports was just a hobby for me in 2014. Six years later it’s the most widely read blog in New England that’s been viewed more than 100 million times! Turns out people actually wanna hear and read the things the mainstream media won’t report on. Next stop, 1 billion. Thanks for supporting your local neighborhood Turtle. But please Blind Mike, tell me more about how no one would know who Turtleboy is without Kirk.



43 Comment(s)
  • micksmercantile
    Wastefield Bartender
    September 2, 2020 at 10:57 am

    Congrats Unc!!! Keep up the good work!!!

  • Screams From Julies Basement
    September 1, 2020 at 4:01 pm

    Blind Mike put you back in line. That segment was hilarious and spot on. Blind Prison Guy was also funny as shit. You got trounced and it was funny as shit to see them read your comments begging real time to be let on. I can and many else can image the ….screams coming from your wife’s basement. Your funny sometimes but the real humor is reading some of your blogs that provide an insight into the mind of yiur self important psychology. Your social media and self secrecy is required as we would have another good laugh seeing your real life.

  • Alyssa Lungarini
    August 31, 2020 at 8:54 pm

    Turtle rider/shark lover/cheetos rule! Go get em Unc! Congrats!!!

  • Spic Tormentor
    August 31, 2020 at 8:18 pm

    I bet at least 10% of those hits are from my fans, looking for my latest comments and jokes about beaners.

  • Kenneth Foley
    August 31, 2020 at 5:57 pm

    Congrats !!!

    Show off

  • The Penguin is pissed
    August 31, 2020 at 5:46 pm

    Congrats Unc! You know Kate’s gonna be climbing out of the trash can to take credit.

  • Follow that crowd
    August 31, 2020 at 4:52 pm

    With that many views, Joe Kennedy — not knowing what Turtleboy Sports is about — will soon declare he’s your biggest fan. He’s certain it will put him over the top in his senate race. Never question a Kennedy’s judgment.

  • Turtle boy forever
    August 31, 2020 at 4:38 pm

    Fuck you and your micro penis Blind Mike. Aiden, you report real news. News for the taxpayers with real jobs who get off their ass and actually go to work everyday. You are amazing!!!

  • Coloredblacknegroafricanamericanpersonofcolor
    August 31, 2020 at 4:37 pm

    The Ming Dynasty story you broke was picked up this morning by WATD, the local Marshfield radio station. Quincy looking into the antics of their a-hole cop, not that I expect any consequences for him. Shitheels like him give good cops a bad name. Way to go UTB.

  • Negative Nancy
    August 31, 2020 at 3:27 pm

    Great? But, how many site visits included negative comments? I’ve looked over the books!

  • Uncle Biden
    August 31, 2020 at 2:58 pm

    Turtleboy is nothing but an endless joke!! A fuckin’ blog for senior citizen knitting groups that spout off from their armchairs about trivial bullshit they choose not to fight!!. None of you ever had any intention of bringing your arguments to the right sources except from an empty ethernet space. The only way you sad sacks are gonna gain any ground is if you publicly voice your opinion or get off your asses and do what you bitch about the most and protest!! Crying over your differences with democrats, liberals, and your consistent whining amongst yourselves over said positions, etc. is never going to be recognized if you don’t fight for it!!

    • Joe Biden Better Hire a Food Taster, Pronto
      August 31, 2020 at 7:09 pm

      Did anyone else read this in Biden’s voice?

  • D.B. Cooper
    August 31, 2020 at 2:54 pm

    Bravo Sir!

  • Failing Phallus
    August 31, 2020 at 2:48 pm

    Look, everyone, my penis is BIG!

  • Why Is It? Dumbass
    August 31, 2020 at 2:29 pm

    Why is it that every time I click on a thumbs up or thumbs down in the comments section, turtleturd’s “thumbs up/thumbs down” zeroes out to nothing/nothing?

    You can’t EVEN GET THIS RIGHT on your website, asshole?!?!?

    You’re a pathetic piece of shit, living in wifey’s basement!!!

    • Done with this shit
      August 31, 2020 at 7:55 pm

      Because you click on too many times dumbass. You only get one vote, pathetic piece of shit.

      • Dumb Fuck!
        September 1, 2020 at 1:47 pm

        Does the same for me, and it gets clicked ONCE!

        Dumb fucking SHIT!

  • Kate Peter the Gaffney Eater
    August 31, 2020 at 1:53 pm

    I read turtleboy every day even though I say I don’t. Turtleboy owns my musty meat flaps and my bad mom soul.

    • Uncooked Pink Vagina
      August 31, 2020 at 1:59 pm

      Keep milking Milky Mike. You’ll go far in life, you ratchet truck burner. The only thing on fire with you is your crotch from chlamydia. Not even Rian Waters is dumb enough to look for a job in there.

  • VD Super Spreader Kamala Harris
    August 31, 2020 at 1:48 pm

    Many prominent dissidents with Internet presence have been completely silenced by big tech. The fact that you have prevailed despite the best efforts of the most powerful people on the planet says a lot. Even if you don’t make millions of dollars (I hope that one day you do) you have produced something that the shitheads from Silicon Valley have never created: Content of value.

    Everyone reads Turtleboy. Everyone. Even if they deny it, they read it.

  • Done with this shit
    August 31, 2020 at 1:24 pm

    Haters gonna hate. Great job TB

  • Choking, until I survive!
    August 31, 2020 at 1:18 pm

    Interesting that you post this now!
    As you are “dying”!
    Gasping for “air” to bring any sort of “life” into this blog!
    You’re a pathetic waste!

    • And yet
      August 31, 2020 at 1:39 pm

      Here you are both reading and reacting to it.

      Now go back to riding your bicycle with no seat.

      • Sniff it!
        August 31, 2020 at 3:44 pm

        And you’re going to “sniff” that bicycle post any chance you can get, huh, perv?

        Sniff it, Sniff it!

  • Peter Dautel
    August 31, 2020 at 12:47 pm

    Inarguably the best source for what is not reported in a lot of stories, with a nice dose of fuck you thrown in for good measure. Love it!

    Thank you!!!

  • randiguy2006
    August 31, 2020 at 12:10 pm

    Cumulative views is totally meaningless.

    I’m not saying you’re doing good or bad but that stat tells us nothing.

  • D' Amelio- Curtatone
    August 31, 2020 at 12:09 pm

    Congrats. Hopefully one day you’ll be able to turn a huge profit. I read it every day.

  • Philip Landry
    Al Gores Toupee
    August 31, 2020 at 11:49 am

    Lots of haters responding today….must be doing something good.

  • Karen of All Karens
    August 31, 2020 at 11:46 am

    You all should be ashamed – WEAR A MASK when you read these pages!!! You’re gonna catch the covid!

    Signed, Karen of all Karens

  • capone181
    Lee Ho
    August 31, 2020 at 11:16 am

    This place is a walking repository of derogatory nicknames.

    And that’s just one reason why I come here.

  • capone181
    Lee Ho
    August 31, 2020 at 10:58 am

    I know I did my part to help, because as a business owner I fully realize, ultimately, profits matter.

  • Boston Irish
    Boston Irish
    August 31, 2020 at 10:51 am


  • DudeRanchStripClub
    August 31, 2020 at 10:28 am

    “He hates fun, fucking live a little.”

    Sound advice for any man.

  • Keep up the good work TB
    August 31, 2020 at 10:27 am

    I hope you can monetize it

    • randiguy2006
      August 31, 2020 at 12:12 pm

      There is Zero chance this happens unless Comments are disabled.

      So we’ll see if TB can live up to his own word.

  • That's a lot of ratchets!
    August 31, 2020 at 10:26 am


  • The Spic Tormentor
    Common Man = kid fucker
    August 31, 2020 at 10:24 am

    Couple million of those are from Common man being a homo and refreshing the page every 30 seconds to comment under ST Captain Trips, Judge Dread, etc.

    • Boe Jiden
      @common man
      August 31, 2020 at 1:02 pm

      We are legion. We are many.

    • Judge dread
      August 31, 2020 at 3:09 pm

      Nice try Spic Tormenter, but you’re the one who thinks you have legions of fans on here. We have the case evidence on this blog. Anyone who wants the real story should look at this blog over the past year, read his comments, and then look at the up votes. Compare how funny it is to the amount of upvotes he gets and it becomes obvious he’s pumping up the likes in incognito mode. The evidence is there. Compare his comments to the other much funnier comments with much less interaction and you know who the real clown is. He’s the name stealer is. The Judge has spoken, case dismissed!

      • Phoneafriend?
        August 31, 2020 at 6:26 pm

        What? Is this blog all about people who suffer from a lack of attention? Who gives a damn about votes! It’s not about falsifying yourself/beliefs commenting in a blog to get a fruitless sense of recognition from an empty community of fictional names? Hmmmmmm!!!……..

      • Boe Jiden
        August 31, 2020 at 6:52 pm

        No your Honor, No you fiend, No you fraud. We care not for upvotes, we care for truth. What one accuses of one, one is guilty with. We see reality and reality is not defeat-able.
        We are workers, We are taxpayers, We are Public Safety, We are builders and Home repair but most importantly We are silent.
        We see through lies, phonies, and better than’s. One does not speak when one has seen enough. While one chooses to hide under false goodness.
        One is fighting a ghost.

      • Addicted to Likes
        August 31, 2020 at 8:16 pm

        I noticed the same shit like a month ago with the vote manipulation. He does makes some funny comments, but some of them are totally lame and will get 50+ upovtes. And he always automatically has like 10+ upvotes almost immediately, even when all the others around him have like 2 or 3. Even right now on the latest story, his has 25 upvotes and not a single other comment has more than 10. what a fucking loser lol.

        • Boe Jiden
          August 31, 2020 at 9:17 pm

          You seem obsessed towards a random commenter. It’s as if those commenters have taken a shit on one’s brain. Why would one care?
          One should use reason, logic, and facts to disavow. What does one choose to to do instead amongst the anonymous? It truly matters not. While the advice i give to you could well serve myself, it begs the question: Why?
          Answer Honestly

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