All-Star Criminals

Dimwitted Dracut Lightbulb Fair Ganks Bulb Off Front Porch To Set Up For Later Robbery, Gets Turned In By Humiliated Husband And Son 

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Meanwhile in Dracut…..

Nothing to see here. Just some juice queen from Lowell (obviously) going around stealing light bulbs off your stoop. Perfectly normal. At least we finally have the answer to the age old question, how many ratchets does it take to unscrew a light bulb?

The only question is, why? And I think we can all agree that this homeowner was being set up for a future robbery. It’s the only thing that makes sense. They come by your house, steal your light bulb, and the when they come to break into your house it’s gonna be pitch black outside so no one sees them.

Then right on cue…..

Oh look, she made her husband and son go and apologize for her. This guy’s a lot more forgiving then I would be. Hey fam, apology NOT accepted. Not until the light bulb fair shows up groveling and explaining her ratchetness.

Bottom line is the juice queen was planning to rob this place, she got caught by the power of Facebook, and now she made up some lie and sent her loved ones over to clean up the mess she created.

14 Comment(s)
  • Too Tall Tim
    May 30, 2018 at 6:11 pm

    I’m pretty sure you can say that the light bulb she stole is brighter than she is…..

  • randiguy2006
    May 29, 2018 at 11:41 am

    This is a story?

    Sad, even for you.

    • Randy is a chomo
      May 29, 2018 at 1:06 pm

      You’re a fuckin’ homo.

  • Yeah I said it
    May 29, 2018 at 8:17 am

    So is calling everyone “Fam” the new Turtleboy thing? Because it’s gay as shit….like this story.

    • Yeah? OK, I said this...
      May 29, 2018 at 9:28 am

      You’re definitely the authority on “gay as shit” since your “fam” has been sucking cocks since grammar school, ya fuckin’ rachet ass faggot cunt.

  • A. Regan
    May 28, 2018 at 10:37 pm

    I would too…

    make her earn forgiveness

  • FUPA Hound
    May 28, 2018 at 8:38 pm

    I would

  • Just a theory
    May 28, 2018 at 8:23 pm

    She could be mentally ill. Some people really can’t help themselves and do dumb shit like this compulsively but otherwise live normal lives.

  • not in my country
    May 28, 2018 at 6:45 pm

    In China or India the entire town would capture her and beat her and her family. Maybe burn her alive for being a witch or her husband and son could sell her into prostitution slavery in the city to make amends with neighbors.

  • Spunky
    May 28, 2018 at 6:18 pm

    I don’t care if it was just a light bulb. Who does this maggot thief think she is, to trespass on another person’s property & take something that doesn’t belong to her? I also agree that the whole family was probably planning on robbing that house. There is zero chance that was a random act. Keep sharing this video. No forgiveness or tolerance for shitbags like this sticky fingered fence jumper!

  • Julius Caesar
    May 28, 2018 at 6:15 pm

    The guy and his son were obviouisly embarrassed, but TBS had nothing else to blog about, so they shared this Turcotte guy’s post, complete with their own commentary. Why? It was a non-story. It told us nothing except what you THOUGHT.

    • Brutus
      May 28, 2018 at 10:26 pm

      Hey bitch, go over this cunt Julius’ house, slither up on his front porch and steal the light bulb so you can go back later and loot the place when he’s not home. It’s obviously A O fuckin’ K with him, he hates Turtleboy and the only reason anybody hates Turtleboy is because they’re scamming, dealing, stealing, or fucking someone who is. Fucking douchebag. Kill yourself.

  • U loot We shoot
    May 28, 2018 at 2:21 pm

    There have been a lot of break ins recently. They should not let this go. Maybe it’s not enough for a warrant, and stolen good were probably promptly converted to drugs, but they should still be investigated.

    • I looted your moms butthole
      May 29, 2018 at 8:24 am

      Did you even read the article? She stole a light bulb. What drug dealer is going to trade their drugs…. for a fucking light bulb? I would also think having a video of the person committing the crime is enough for a warrant. That’s kinda how it works. You commit a crime, evidence ties you to it and proves you committed the crime. Evidence like lets say….ooohhhhh…..a fucking video of the person committing the crime or something.

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