All-Star Criminals

Dude Catches Oxy Rotten Breaking Into House, Detains Him, Confiscates Phone, Uses Camera, Updates Facebook Profile Picture And Status 


Sometimes you look for good content to blog about, and other times the content falls in your lap. Today is the latter.

This is Mark Olivo of Johnston, Rhode Island.

He’s a local slugrake, closing in on 40, who doesn’t wanna give up the dream of remaining a shithead in perpetuity. From the looks of his Facebook page his initial plan was to get jacked and become a male stripper. But that didn’t happen because he preferred getting arrested for driving drunk with OC’s, obstructing a police officer, larceny, and vandalism instead.

You’d think that 10 years later he’d at least try to not be a waste of otherwise perfectly good jizz, but then this happened the other day:

Glad to see he’s still the same queef he was a decade earlier.

But here’s the best part – the guy who caught him took his phone, and updates his Facebook profile picture and most recent status.

Best. Post. Ever.

As you can see from the decorations at Mom’s house, honesty is the best image.

So he was just letting the world know that he is in fact a douche whistle.

Guess you gotta do what you gotta do when your long term financial plan consists of buying scratch tickets and anxiously waiting to win $100 on one of them.

Someone might wanna tell her that he’s probably not gonna make his 20 year reunion.

Don’t worry though, there’s really not much catching up to do. He’s the exact same lugnut he was 20 years ago.


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24 Comment(s)
  • Kim Wescott
    July 18, 2019 at 5:04 pm

    This guy is my hero! Obviously physically strong, but much more importantly, mentally astute!

    Best response to a criminal act I’ve ever seen. Brilliant.

  • Pete Buttiplug
    July 18, 2019 at 10:46 am

    I totally would have fucked him while he was tied up face down.

  • Dirty Mutt
    July 18, 2019 at 10:19 am

    Another dirty mutt is caught, this time trussed up like a wild pig and displayed for all the world to see. The only thing missing is an apple in the mouth. Yes, best ever.

  • Mom’s Basement
    July 18, 2019 at 8:09 am

    Sweet crib he’s got. I’d have gone with laminate instead of carpet for more reasons than I care to list but still very nice. I can’t believe he’d throw it all away.

  • MrSparklePants
    July 18, 2019 at 7:36 am

    This is fantastic. This guy should run for office!

  • Spic Tormentor
    July 17, 2019 at 10:41 pm

    Rhode island is home to a plethora of hybrid spic/junkies like this cock sucker

  • Fantesticles
    July 17, 2019 at 7:38 pm

    I really hope he changed his password… and his email lmfao.

  • Ann
    July 17, 2019 at 7:38 pm

    Looks like he lives in the parent’s basement.

  • Cheddah
    July 17, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    This is something out of a Clint Eastwood movie.. Well done sir.

  • Rhode Island is Haiti
    July 17, 2019 at 7:14 pm

    This calls for a hot shot. Problem solved in North Providence.

  • Manly Mahk
    July 17, 2019 at 6:44 pm

    ELYK ZBUD is my new hero. I wouldn’t have thought of posting to the dudes fab, brilliance.

  • juror seven esq.
    July 17, 2019 at 4:51 pm

    Hope the guy that caught this clown also RSVPed for the class reunion. Something like I’ll be there, tell the bartender to set up a tab in my name. Make sure everyone has a drink on me.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    July 17, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    The dude that detained him, took his phone, and updated the perps own Facebook profile with him hogtied deserves a fucking TROPHY! Well fucking done my man!!!

  • Karma Bus
    Ratchetsaurous Rex
    July 17, 2019 at 3:22 pm

    This is GREAT Fucking moron!

  • That Girl Was Me
    July 17, 2019 at 3:20 pm

    It’s Mass so i’m sure they will find a way to let this guy go while also making the guy who stopped him guilty of something.

    • randiguy2006
      Geography people...
      July 17, 2019 at 3:53 pm

      North Providence is in Mass now?

      Good to know!

      • Fred Knessl
        July 17, 2019 at 5:37 pm

        RI is officially MA’s meth addicted pain-in-the-ass little brother

      • That Girl Was Me
        July 17, 2019 at 5:52 pm

        RI isn’t shit other than a suburb of Boston, so yes.

        Lewis and Clarke fagoot.

        • Concerned Canadian
          July 17, 2019 at 8:49 pm

          It’s quite incorrect to claim one state is another. The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations is in every way not “Mass”.

          Your misaimed comment almost could have been taken verbatim from an article from a TB writer…

          So… GJ?
          No… BJ. Bad Job.

        • Massholio
          July 18, 2019 at 3:19 pm

          Yabbut they confiscate all the Del’s at the border.

    • Too Tall Tim
      Too Tall Tim
      July 19, 2019 at 5:16 pm

      That’s one of the reasons I avoid getting involved, (I don’t want any accusations against me.) The other reason being that I don’t want to get shot or stabbed.(haha) I’ve been near bar fights, and neighborhood altercations, were I knew I could intervene and stop the fight by pulling (forcing) the guys apart. Heck, I can pick a 150+ lb. adult man up like they’re a child and set him down away from the other guy. (I tease my 200 lb. brother by grabbing him around the chest, holding him up in the air with his feet dangling up off the floor.) I tell myself, “It’s not my job. It’s not my fight, not my problem.” I once put myself between two fighters to act as a blockade, and I once put my hand on a guy’s chest to hold him back from going at another guy. I once let two fighters think I was the club’s bouncer. After they reacted shocked by the sight of (giant) me showing up, I imitated the (real) bouncer by sternly asking, “Is there a problem here?” They nervously replied, “Nope, nope, nah, no problem, there’s no problem!” while dispersing. (but) I don’t want to arrested (or shot) for being involved.

  • hartf811
    July 17, 2019 at 3:09 pm

    The moms basement picture with the scratchers is also classic!

  • Big Wick
    July 17, 2019 at 3:02 pm

    Good for Elyk to nab this guy in the act! Posting on Olivo’s FB page is a classic touch that I’d love to see more often. As they used to type back in the day, “PWNED!”

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    July 17, 2019 at 2:53 pm

    This is classic! It doesn’t get any better. The the prick up, take h8s phone and update his FB page! LMAO!

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