Wednesday, Dec 6, 2023
All-Star Criminals

Eastham Restaurant Owner Optimus Slime Accused Of Sexually Harassing Employees Has The Most Batshit Crazy Customer Service Protocol You Could Possible Imagine

Meet Bill and Karen Stewart, the owners of Stewart’s Seafood Restaurant & Tavern in Eastham.

Now, if you looked at this picture and thought, “Oh my, that gentleman on the right sure has a date-rapey face,” we may have one of two things in common. You either: 1. Have a very astute distrust for a man who proudly dons a creepstache, or 2. Read this from the Cape Cod Times recently:

“The owner of an Eastham seafood restaurant has been accused of repeatedly sexually harassing employees, with multiple women, some of whom were foreign workers, saying he inappropriately touched them during their shifts, made unwanted sexual comments and even threatened them with rape.

Between July and September, five women came to Eastham police and told them that their boss, William Stewart, the owner of Stewart’s Seafood Restaurant & Tavern, had made unwanted sexual comments or advances.

One of the women, an employee from Serbia, told police Stewart would touch her hips while she was working, rub himself all over her, kiss her hands and tell her to lick him, according to a police report.

″(The woman) claimed Stewart would make her kiss him when arriving for work, then turn his head to arrange the kiss to be on the lips,” the report states. “She claimed she turned the advances into jokes so she would not (lose) her job, as he would also threaten her with deportation.”

He would touch her buttocks and tell her he had an erection every time he saw her, the woman said.

″“He threatened that he would beat me or rape me if I don’t do as he said,” the woman said.

A day did not go by where Stewart did not make sexually explicit comments to her, the woman told police.


Several other women told police of inappropriate sexual comments. The police report contains their statements but only mentions that police asked two of the women — the one from Serbia and one from China — if they wanted to press charges and if they were available to return to the United States to testify. Both women said they were reporting their experiences with Stewart to the InterExchange agency involved with their student visas to prevent other J-1 students “from being victimized as they were.”

Stewart told one worker that “women should be beaten and raped to give them respect for when that isn’t happening to them,” one of the woman recounted to police.

The woman also said Stewart would grab her hair bun and tell her that “he liked touching her buns.”

Another woman said Stewart always asked to see her breasts and would intentionally place food out of reach on a shelf so she would have to lean over to get it.

“If I had a customer with an issue, he’d tell me to pull my shirt down and get back out there,” the woman told police. “When I would come and get my food from the window, if he was expediting he would place the food just out of my reach and tell me that he wanted me to lean over so he could ‘see the girls,’ since the counter ended at my chest height and when I leaned forward they were ‘put on a shelf’ for his viewing pleasure.”

Stewart would also have J-1 workers get dressed up as if they were working the hostess stand but then put them outside with a rake or shovel to garden while he sat in a lawn chair and watched, the woman told police.

When police interviewed Stewart he denied the allegations.

“He did say that it is a kitchen, and things do get said, and he has cursed,” the police report states.

Stewart told police that he helps his J-1 students and asked to know who his accusers were. He also noted that “everyone is too easily offended by what others say,” the report states.”

Well, then. That’s not appropriate. It sounds like we have a level 5 geriatric grope machine on our hands here, guys. And judging from the comments section, this chud has creeped out more women than Jeffrey Dahmer during speed dating.


Not exactly a glowing character reference you got there, Bill. As if it couldn’t look any worse for him, apparently these type of complaints go back several years….and involve teenage girls.

And his response to this accusation was just as creepy as his knockoff Burt Reynold’s pedostache.

“And also I have the best candy and cutest puppies in my big white windowless van over there, so your sister is just a stuck up bitch. BURN!”


Either there’s some validity to the charges brought against ol’ Billy Boy here, or the food is so bad an entire town of women plus a few impoverished countries worth decided to Kavanaugh him to save the area from some seriously wonky clam chowder.  I doubt it’s the food.

Plus, there seems to be an abundance of complaints about the owners openly treating employees and customers alike like sub-human garbage floating around on the internet machine.


Well they definitely aren’t winning any popularity contests here.

Naturally, Billy the Skid and his lovely wife are adamant that he “dindonuffin”,

But they both somehow possess the uncanny innate ability to make Bill look more guilty with just their words.
This appears to be a hallmark of the Stewart’s customer service protocol, because when faced with a little constructive criticism, they seem to only draw from a handful of bad options.
1. Simply ignore the criticism all together and pretend it was praise:
2. Passive- aggressively blame and argue with the aggrieved customer:
or 3. Lose your ever loving shit as publicly as possible.
So, yeah. They seem rational and professional. I’m sure Billy boy will do great in court, and all of this has nothing to do with whatever reason he has postponed his arraignment multiple times since November. 
Nothing shady to see here, nothing at all.
The moral of the story is, never trust an old man with a creepstache – nine times out of ten, he’ll want to diddle your funbags. Take this one with you where ever you go.


21 Comment(s)
  • r
    April 4, 2019 at 2:21 pm

    reading the responses from the restaurant and the guy you have to marvel at his trying to make a bad situation worse – every. single. time.

    that’s a bold technique.

    ever hear of the streisand effect?

  • randiguy2006
    Randall Guy
    March 25, 2019 at 11:28 am

    Those immigrints is lucky to have jobs!

    Dont like it? Go back were ya came from ingrates!

  • Thewholetruth413
    March 24, 2019 at 1:03 pm

    Where are the men in Eastham? If some pervy restaurant owner was touching or talking to my daughter, girlfriend, sister, mother, etc like that, we are having A serious conversation in the back of the building. The liberal boys out there need to grow A pair and put A stop to this, obviously this man has never been put in his place.

  • Karma Bus
    Ratchetsaurous Rex
    March 24, 2019 at 12:57 pm

    Just the fact him and wifey are commenting/replying the way they have is enough for me to know this dude’s mad guilty. If you choose to be a business owner, you need to know what proper customer service is. Unless you are TBS, you don’t get to act this way.

  • Mel
    March 24, 2019 at 8:38 am

    Not often you find a restaurant where the customer is always WRONG. Almost have to respect the balls this dude has when replying online to complaints that his place blows.

  • Walter "Help Me Pull My Dick Out Of This Knothole" Bird
    March 23, 2019 at 3:31 pm

    I cannot stand a man who uses his position of power to try to get some sex.

  • Cape man of leisure
    March 23, 2019 at 2:46 pm

    I cannot condone his alleged behavior but the food is outstanding and the ambiance here is tip top!

  • Washashore
    March 23, 2019 at 1:47 pm

    And this is why I rarely venture down Cape anymore. Full of self entitled shitheads…

  • damn
    March 23, 2019 at 3:07 am

    too bad this place never mafe it on kitchen nightmares… gordon ramsey wouldnt have put up with this guy… but if it had been on there would the owners even have deserved another chance after this sh!t?!? (i think not)

  • Flo
    March 22, 2019 at 11:39 pm

    What does he think this is, 1992? That’s not the way it is any more. THIS is the way it is, perv. We have the Internet, a voice, a permanent public record, and Turtle Boy. Nobody’s taking your shit. Good for those women for speaking up, protecting themselves and other women from this piece of garbage.

  • Dumb and Dumber
    March 22, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    This is possibly the most unbelievable thing I think I have ever seen on this site. I am speechless as to the stupidity of the owner and his wife. I don’t think a p.r. career is in their future. Fucking mind boggling how a business owner would carry on like that on social media. I would guess they are serving up some yelpers specials.

    • Big Wick
      March 22, 2019 at 11:14 pm

      What a f*ckhead. But, who knows, maybe he’ll now try to cash in on the TBS free publicity. Besides, there must be SOME people who read this and say to themselves, “Self, how bad could it really be?” (Hint: Just. Don’t. Do. It.)

  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    March 22, 2019 at 9:46 pm

    hey! isn’t that the down to sling dude?

  • Michael Johnson
    True justice
    March 22, 2019 at 9:32 pm

    You know this perverted jackass from the liberal lower cape is a Trump hater. He’s the type who is disgusted with Trump and then does this shit. Hypocrite mother fucker.
    Maga 2020

  • Klancy
    March 22, 2019 at 8:49 pm

    OMG It’s the new Sam and Amy.

  • Bill Clinton
    March 22, 2019 at 8:25 pm

    He was one of my finer students.

    • Bill Cosby
      March 22, 2019 at 8:27 pm

      He failed my bachelors degree.

  • White Privelage For Days
    March 22, 2019 at 8:09 pm

    Well, this doesn’t surprise me. Eastham trash and Randy Homosexuals have been driving through my beautiful Chatham on their way to their outer Cape shitholes and sodomy nests for years. On a side note, the Bars Inn in Chatham makes their extra dirty martinis with organic California olives. Mmmm, perfect dessert after a long regatta…..

    • ChathamlessFukheads
      September 5, 2019 at 6:04 pm

      People from Chatham are the stupidest people on Earth, don’t know how you guys breathe with your head so far up each others ass.

  • Eastham gateway to Provincetown
    March 22, 2019 at 8:08 pm

    The Cape is full of creepy old men and earthy crunchy broads There is a video of some crazy people harassing a park ranger in Eastham that shows the caliber of people there

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