Hoodrat Heroes

Enabling Twatwaffles Are Not Happy With Ware Police For Sharing Picture Of Young Local Shoplifter, “Dad” Shows Up And Immediately Blames Autism

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Every Monday morning I wake up and ask myself, “I wonder what people are gonna be outraged by today?” Then I signed onto Facebook and saw that the Ware Police are looking for a shoplifter.

As you can see, this is a very dangerous criminal on the loose. Thoughts and prayers to anyone who crosses his path. He might run over your toes with his skateboard if you’re not paying attention.

You’ll also notice that he looks like he’s out celebrating the sprouting of his first pubes.

I have no idea how old that kid is, or why the WPD is looking for him, but I have faith there’s a good reason for it. This is Ware. It’s a magical cesspool where people who are born there are unable to leave. If they’re lucky they get a job as a greeter at Walmart, but more often than not they have a long future of cashing SSI checks and an eventual appearance on the Ware Police mugshot Hall of Fame. Who can forget our blog on the Top 25 Ware Mugshots from a couple years back? People shoplift every day in Ware and most don’t make it onto the WPD Facebook page. I’m guessing this kid did something special to earn his way onto the big board.

Sure, it might seem in poor taste to shame a kid this young for a crime that many adults got away with back in the day. But on the other hand, public shaming often fixes everything. It’s what we do every day at Turtleboy Sports and the results speak for themselves. Just ask the dermatologist who parked in a handicapped spot last week. Maybe, just maybe, this incident of public shaming will prevent a future of this:

Do you want your kid to grow up and become Kevin Blackmer? Perhaps if the Street Sweeper himself had been shamed at a younger age he could’ve straightened up and flied right. Instead he grew up to be one of the most notorious pieces of shit in Turtleboy history.


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Nevertheless the free muh boi (literally a boi this time) was out in full force, starting with a guy claiming to be his father.

Of course the guy who claims to be Dad is already blaming this on autism. It’s the new ratchet dindu nuffin. As soon as they figured out that autism was a thing they could use to excuse shitty behavior word began to spread in the underground slopqueef community. I say “claims” because I don’t see any pictures of this kid on his Facebook page, even though he’s got pics of other crotch fruits. Kind of odd. Plus, that kid who the cops are looking for is young, but he ain’t 12. Also…..

I’m not saying that baby ain’t yours, but……that baby probably ain’t yours. Just sayin.

However, because the town barber claimed that it was his kin, and that the boy is autistic, it became a fact.

As did the fact that he was 12.

And because it’s Ware more and more people claiming to be relatives started coming out of the woodwork.

Maraglia here has the rural version of the flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat.

The look at my fish selfie. Nuff said.

The outrage patrol also voiced their displeasure.

Oh no, not bullied!! This is another thing ratchets do – whine about public shaming by making the baseless claim that it will lead to “bullying.” If you’re a kid at Ware High School who makes it onto the WPD Facebook page you don’t get bullied; you get a blowjob. And then you never leave Ware. Ever.

Meanwhile Jimi here was white knighting and willing to take the rap on the kid’s behalf.

Oh look, enabling. That will definitely help the kid learn his lesson.

Anyway, it is kind of weird that they’d throw someone up there this young, and for the crime alleged. After all, this is Ware. The cops could post a million times a day about some chud stealing from Cumby’s. But at the end of the day I’m sure they had their reasons, and it’s probably the best thing that will ever happen to this individual.

16 Comment(s)
  • Fucking Gingers
    December 4, 2018 at 6:47 am

    Fat Stupid and Ginger is no way to go through life.

    But if you insist on doing so, get used mug shots, STD’s, bankruptcy, half-way houses and narcan.

  • None of your business
    December 3, 2018 at 1:05 pm

    It’s sad that this post has even gone this far….yes he is 12…yes that is his father…did he steal yes is it ok no but you know nothing about them it’s truly sad and usually I love reading tbs

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      December 3, 2018 at 2:09 pm

      You have any after davids for proof?

    • Menstrual Cycle
      December 3, 2018 at 4:38 pm

      Typical Ware-ian…..
      No periods.

    • WeAreFukd
      December 3, 2018 at 8:30 pm

      So… if we did know something about him or his family, we’d understand why he stole and that would make it okay?

      Guess what? This story is the same story you’d of loved reading yesterday if you didn’t know this hoodlum.

      Ware PD folded and took down the post. Cowards. Have little Johnny apologize to Uncle TB. Maybe he’ll have a heart. It’s Christmas…

  • Guy
    December 3, 2018 at 10:21 am

    Back in the late 70’s thru 80’s every street had a kid with asthma. When’s the last time you saw a kid with one of those inhalers?

    Then in the 90’s every street had a kid with ADHD. An 8 year old boy who has a tough time sitting still or paying attention (which is 90% of them) suddenly has this “disorder”.

    Suddenly in the 2000’s every 4th kid now can’t eat peanuts or gluten based foods. Now if you pack a pb&j sandwich on whole wheat in your kid’s lunchbox and it’s discovered the school goes on lock-down and the EMTs are called in.

    Now everywhere you look someone is claiming a child has Autism. Is it legitimate? In a large % of cases yes, they know more about it now then they did 20 or 30 years ago. But are lots of these other cases situations where it’s easier to slap a victim label on a child who might instead have a host of other problems? Remember – doctors don’t get bonuses if you no longer require treatment every week for the next 30 years.

    • Rockets Redglare
      December 3, 2018 at 11:21 am

      Back in my day they didn’t need a fancy name, we just called them stupid…

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      December 3, 2018 at 2:08 pm

      What about peanut allergies?

    • Lightning bolt
      December 3, 2018 at 6:17 pm

      You forgot about the lactose intolerant crowd. Every kid grew up drinking whole milk. Then we went to 2% and everyone got fatter, then we went to 1% and everyone got fatter. Now we have skim and people stopped drinking milk and started drinking more soda which is poison. Add in 40 injections of “immunization” before a kid turns 6 and guess what you have? Messed up kids.

  • BassMaster
    December 3, 2018 at 9:55 am

    Every catch and release sportsman takes fish photos.
    If it was a true selfie, i’d agree, kinda weird.
    On that note.
    Go fish.

    • BassMaster
      December 3, 2018 at 10:00 am

      And one more thought.
      Imagine if someone Doogle’s your name and that bikini pic comes up for the rest of your life.
      That would be awful.

      • Ted Crilly
        December 4, 2018 at 5:20 am

        feckin’ awful…

  • DJ
    December 3, 2018 at 9:36 am

    Okay stealing is wrong and yes the kid should have to be brought back to the store to apologize and realize there are consequences for this. However, putting a kid on a police page is a bit over the top. When I was a kid I stole a Chunky candy bar and when I opened it to eat, my mom caught me. She dragged my ass back to the store and made me go in and tell the store owner what I did and had to apologize. I was crying so hard but guess what I learned my lesson. Just have the kid do that don’t blast him on social media. I totally disagree with the police on this incident and I am a pro police person.

  • John Q Public
    December 3, 2018 at 9:26 am

    Judging by the pics incest seems to be a thing in Ware…

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      December 3, 2018 at 9:40 am

      Well, when you’re watching Jerry Springer in the middle of a workday in your PJs with your sister and you’re both high on H, and your balls start to tingle, a future newborn in Ware is often inevitable

    • z
      December 3, 2018 at 11:50 am

      You’d think living so close to Palmer would have rubbed off on them.

      Seriously, Ware is a one horse town and when the mills closed anyone with any sense moved.
      Not the towns fault, but it is what it is.

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