This Day In Turtleboy

Fall River Baby Mommas Fighting Over Incarcerated Dirty Dick Are Everything You Dreamed They Would Be And More

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The followups for this blog were even better:

Followup 1

Followup 2

There is apparently an ongoing contest in Fall River to decide who will win the crown for the most ratchet cheesehog who has ever existed. And the two snatchimals who seem to be the final contenders are Amber Jade

and Tieonah Addington

As you can see, they are both right around a Fall River 8.5.

Anyway, these two guttermuppets got into a fight that was posted on the Threw Up In Fall River Facebook page by another real winner named Shaina Rebello, but has since been taken down.

However, the drama leading up to this beatdown, which most Internet commenters seem to agree was won by Tieonah, has been building up for a while. Both women posted Facebook Live videos a couple weeks ago of themselves driving around the beautiful third world country known to locals as “The Riv”, talking shit and bragging about how they were hunting for the other one. First was Tieonah, who drove around ripping Newports and announcing how this “stalking ho” isn’t enough of a ho to come and see her in the streets:

Meanwhile Amber Jade was at Maplewood Park, claiming that Tieonah was dodging her because they were supposed to rendezvous there to settle their very important differences:

Unfortunately for society, Tieonah did not get her name because she tied her own tubes. She seems to have a small litter of offspring, as does Amber Jade, including a newborn. And naturally they share a baby daddy named Matthew Byrd, who they both claim to have current boning rights of:

And let me tell ya, Matthew Byrd is a real winner, and definitely worth fighting over:

Shockingly Matthew Byrd is currently in jail, and both of his baby mommas visit him, and vie for the crown of #1 gutterslug BM on the Facebook machine. According to Amber, she is the rightful baby momma champion, because her litter is slightly smaller than Tieonah’s:

But nevertheless, Tieonah apparently disagrees, and has publicly stated that her meat wallet is property of one Matthew Byrd:

Plus, she went to his court date:

And she ain’t trying to have get with any of these other n words who previously had “beef” with her baby daddy, despite their advances:

However, Amber Jade is not giving up her “sexy dark chocolate” without a fight:

Also, Amber Jade recently one-upped Tieonah by visiting him in the can while Tieonah was acting all gangsta and her newborn baby, which of course was born addicted to heroin, tried to regain a healthy existence:

The best part about this Facebook post? This is how she celebrated mother’s day. By taunting the only chick in town who could possibly carry more venereal diseases than her.

Keep in mind, both of these women have multiple children, and neither of them is even remotely close to having custody of them. Nevertheless, the number one priority in their life right now is fighting for this man’s juicy tuna torpedo:

So who is the most ratchet of these skanky trap queens? Let’s look at each individually and decide for ourselves. Tieonah LOVES the n word:

She proudly displayed her section 8 apartment on Facebook, which of course was filled with books, maps, and culture.

LOL. Just kidding, the TV takes up 95% of the living room:


Because……..hoodrat priorities. Don’t worry though, she can afford a nicer TV than you, but that doesn’t mean you should stop giving her government assistance. Oh, and she also can afford Jordan’s:

Because when you’re living the ghettofabulous high life, you gotta pamper yourself sometimes.

When she does see her kids, it’s usually to take them for a nutritional meal at McDonald’s:

Now that her baby daddy is in prison, she is what is commonly referred to in Fall River as an “independent woman without a n word”:

She recently got a tattoo of the sick baby she brought into this world and has custody over:

She doesn’t like “sour bitches” who are insecure:

She clearly has mastered the English language, and is a very effective communicator on social media:

After giving birth she went right back on the junkie diet of Cumberland Farms iced coffee and broken dreams, and has lost the weight so that she is now “where daddy like it”:

Daddy just can’t like it too much, because there are no conjugal visits at Bristol County House of Correction.

Her occupation is currently the “Full Time Mommy at Best Mother Ever”:

Of course being a mother is easy when the state only lets you see them once every two weeks.

She’s friends with Charlene Pimentel, who recently became Turtleboy famous for buying food stamps on Facebook in order to cut the operating costs for her chocolate dick cake business:

Tieonah is a self-described “bad bitch”:

Who recently received a Fall River makeover:

It’s like a commercial for a reformed junkie prostitute – before, and way before.

A day before she filmed the Facebook Live video of her hunting for Amber in the streets she claimed that Amber was stalking her house:

Not sure what the rest of that means, but it sounds important.

She also claimed that she was not worried about this “bird ass dope fein wet soggy bag bitch” Amber, and in fact it was Amber who stayed worried about her:

Shortly after the Facebook Live video she once again visited Matthew Byrd in prison, and came home with a VERY important message to deliver to the haters:

Oh man, how will anyone survive without the support of Matthew Byrd once he gets out of prison? That man is going places!

Anyway, the drama continued as the weeks rolled along, and as usual periods and general punctuation were in short supply:

So, what I take from that is simple – Tieonah is the superior baby momma because she pays her bills (via the taxpayers), has a bangin summer body, and communicates more with Matthew Byrd.

She also wants Amber Jade to “get off my pussy”:

Because as she stated with that meme above, that particular organ is property of Matthew Byrd.

And she of course is a better woman because Amber does not have custody of her kids:

Completely ignoring the fact that she doesn’t either. But don’t worry, she gets to see them on Saturday!!

It’s just in a padded room with a DCF employee holding a stopwatch.

Amber Jade oozes plenty of skag juices her damn self. She likes to share her ass shots:

She has the “Fight for 15” hooker uniform at her disposal:

Which of course consists of white high tops, tapered jeans, hoop earrings, and tittoos.

She’s sick of people calling DSS on her:

She’s really trying to establish by sharing as many pictures as possible, that she is the #1 baby momma for the All-Star yogurt slinger:

Because “ain’t no n word/bitch coming in between what we got”:

She claims that once Matthew Byrd gets out of prison he’s gonna be dropping his anchor inside her Battleship Cove.

Because “everyone out here knows” that her and Matthew Byrd are soon to be wed:

One of her lovely friends has offered to bring her pit bull to the fight once it inevitably happened:

And if Tieonah is gonna insist on speaking her name all the time, she may as well take her out for a roast beef curtains sandwich:

She enjoys taunting Tieonah:

As fight night approached they began to argue on Facebook about…….something involving “dirty dick”:

She believes that Matthew Byrd will ultimately choose her because, “Thick bitches got better pussy”: 

Anyway, the fight apparently happened a couple days ago. If you have the video, please send it. Tieonah is claiming she won, and Amber Jade is in full PR mode to prove to the world that these rumors are false:


Because when you don’t have custody of your kids, this is what you should be worried about.

Anyway, who is the most ratchet Fall River trap queen? I gotta go with Tieonah, but it’s pretty close. Either way, both Amber Jade AND Tieonah are more than welcomed on Friday night’s Turtleboy Live show. We’d love to have you both on so we can hear your side of the story, and you can make your case for the #1 baby momma of Fall River’s finest sperm donor. Message us if you’re interested.

2 Comment(s)
  • Captain Trips
    May 30, 2018 at 8:42 pm

    I think I caught herpes just looking at those photos

    Imagine what those bitches smell like? B.O. and fucking greasy dirty hair smell

    Gross pigs

  • Screw PC
    May 30, 2018 at 1:51 pm


    You can either “keep it real”, or succeed in life. These two things are mutually exclusive, since you have no talent, you’re ugly as fuck, and you’re not good at anything. That means you can’t have both at the same time.

    As long as you keep fucking around, you create problems for people who want to succeed in life. For that reason, we will continue to keep you down and fuck up your game. That’s also why we legally carry firearms.

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