Ladies and gentlemen meet Kirsten Farnsworth.
I don’t know if she’s the biggest ratchet we’ve ever profiled, but she arguably had the most ratchet night in Turtleboy history earlier in the week.
NORTH SMITHFIELD: A 29-year-old Johnston woman is facing felony charges after a possible two-crash drunk driving spree, followed by multiple reported attempts to assault officers while yelling racial slurs. Kirsten Farnsworth of 84 Cedar St. repeatedly told police that she was a supporter of President Donald Trump throughout the incident, stating the president hates “people like you,” according to reports.
Farnsworth was charged with driving under the influence, refusal to submit to a chemical test, driving with a suspended license, operating a vehicle without the mandated ignition interlock system, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, assault of a police officer and making threats to public officials following the Tuesday, Feb. 11 incident.
According to reports, police responded to a motor vehicle accident in the area of 63 Old Greenville Road around 5 p.m. Officers found Farnsworth in the driver’s seat of a 2015 Kia Optima that had landed in a ditch in the woods, applying gas in attempt to free the vehicle. She reportedly fell to the ground immediately after exiting the heavily damaged car. Police noted that some of the vehicle damage appeared to have happened during a separate accident, and that car parts found during investigation of an incident just down the road the same evening matched the Kia.
When police questioned Farnsworth’s claim that she had only ingested “two shots of Fireball,” she reportedly began screaming slurs while referencing the president. As officers attempted to place her under arrest, Farnsworth resisted and continued yelling slurs, according to reports. Once inside, she allegedly began kicking the window of the cruiser. She was then pepper-sprayed and responded by stating, “you missed my face ni***r.”
After briefly passing out in the car, Farnsworth woke up to continue the rant against officers, the reports state. She fought and kicked at police as they attempted to bring her to the booking room at points stating, “Trump will never forgive you,” and “you’re black, you don’t matter,” according to her arrest report.
“Farnsworth even got up from her chair and tried to kick me while I was near the fingerprinting machine,” noted a report by Off. Michael Akinrola. She also reportedly threatened the officers, telling them she would “find their families.”
When she briefly had her handcuffs removed during a search, she lunged at Off. Kane Terelli, according to accounts by police.
“She informed me multiple times that she has powerful lawyers and that her family has more money than I do,” noted a second report on the incident filed by Off. Mark Bergeron.
Farnsworth’s previous arrest record includes DUIs in Coventry and Providence, and according to the state database, she currently has an ongoing worker’s compensation claim against Stone Depot of Rhode Island, Inc.
Fireball is the official Hennessy for white bitches. You’re safer having 4 mai tais at the Dragon 88 than you are having 2 shots of Fireball and getting behind the wheel of a Kia.
Some might say that it’s a little bit racist for Fiona Fireball to tell a black cop that his life doesn’t matter due to the color of his skin, or to taunt him with the n word while dodging pepper spray. But according to her she’s not racist.
Come on Kenny, you know she’s not racist. Sure, she says a lot of racist shit, but it’s not her fault, it’s the Fireball.
But wait, I thought she “always got myself out of sucky situations,” and vowed that “ima be right back on top.”
The only thing under construction is the accident reconstruction team.
Maybe she can visit her brother in jail?
If he doesn’t get parole then she’s gonna go apeshit. Maybe she’ll like, crash her car twice in a period of minutes, kick cops, call them racial slurs, and try to destroy the fingerprinting machine.
This is why you can’t trust a chick whose Facebook page is entirely made up of duck faced selifes.
Every. Single. Time.
Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: