All-Star Criminals Hoodrat Heroes

Food Stamp System Breaks Down And “Starving” Welfare Walruses Are Losing Their Minds 

It’s only a matter of time until there are riots at Cumbies.
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The most catastrophic thing EVER has happened and you should brace yourselves. Them EBT cards ain’t working and there are people dropping like flies from hunger all across Massachusetts. 

Just kidding. They’re fine.

But of course when those benefits don’t show this starts to happen: 

EditI was able to translate this because of my extensive background in the New Bedford dialect. 

Her stamps ain’t working. It could be a glitch or maybe an investigation. She hasn’t received hers. She needs you to give her food but she needs someone to drop it off. 


She just doesn’t want to drop $5 of her own money on a Market Basket Rotisserie Chicken. (Yeah, the same one I can make two or three meals out of because I have a pot and some water.) The endangered, recently emaciated, SNAP recipients are taking to web in a panic because their government assistance is a couple days late. 


It seems there was some kind of glitch in the system that delayed dem stamps. The whole thing was dependent on what the  last number of your  social security number was. The app (which makes sense because most people who abuse the food stamp system have a plethora of smart phones and tablets) is showing that there were zero dollars received on the first of the month. (Admit it. You sang that in your Bone Thugs voice.) I know this because I have friends who are actually in need, are just riding this thing out, and are giggling right along me with me about this. I did a bit of digging and it seems that the stamp outage is nation-wide. 

People are storming the outage site, which literally just let’s you know if it’s just you, to freak out. It’s a variable who’s who spelling champs. 

It’s straight-out bedlam! I feel you hungry guy. I apposed to eat lunch today but I got busy. 

Anyways, let’s get back to Jennifer starving. 


Let me tell you something. I did a BARE MINIMUM grocery trip like two weeks ago (I hate going on the first of the month because it looks like a carnie reunion) and I still have enough food in my house to throw together some bullshit for my three kids and marital bae. 

Let’s do some math:
She, like myself, has three pieces of crotch fruit. Seeing that she is saying she has NO money for food I’m going to guess that she gets the full amount allowed for her family. That means she gets a whopping $714 for food, for four people, A MONTH. That doesn’t include the kids CLEARLY qualifying for free lunch. 

Do you know what I would be doing if I had $700 a month for food and my kids got a free lunch five days a week? 
I’d be walking in to the store like: 

Bitch, I’d look like this sloven piece of shit. 


I could actually feed YOUR family AND mine on that. Just saying. It would take my family years to eat everything of I spent $700 on food a month. YEARS. 

Yeah. I find it pretty hard to believe there isn’t a single crumb left in the house to tide them over. The kids are curled up in their beds, grabbing their stomachs, too weak to move. 

Give me a break. 

My favorite part of this is that there are bleeding hearts who offered this bitch boxes of macaroni and cheese that she could pick up from them, but she couldn’t get a ride, so they offered TO BRING IT TO HER. 

I wonder if these people know that they are walking in to the hoodrat version of “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.” 

If you give a cheesehog macaroni, she’s going to need some milk. If you give a cheesehog some milk she’s going to need some butter. If you give a cheesehog some butter she’s going to need a bowl. 

Guys, come on. This woman eats better than we do and you’re all tripping over yourselves to give her more. Where is the humility? The common sense? The basic math? 

Especially since a chick, who seems to work for the DTA, chimed in saying that they are working on the error as fast as they can. 

Until then, instead of spending your entire day (who has all this damn time to wait HOURS) on the phone with the DTA to yell at the poor helpless creatures on the other end, start calling food banks if you’re THAT hard up. Hell, maybe just check your cabinets because there is zero chance they are bare. 

41 Comment(s)
  • Kathleen
    October 8, 2017 at 10:12 pm

    Paying for their own food would damn near kill these people how about get a fucken job

  • Kitty two shoes
    October 8, 2017 at 1:07 pm

    You fuckin lazy fat food stamp pigs. I have to pay for food and after etc…yup, it’s slim pickings at my place. But you don’t starve! Why don’t you get a job like a normal human. Oh, shit then you might actually try to conserve your food. I guess since you aren’t paying to exist, it doesn’t matter. Not your funds going to support every lazy useless mess in New Bedford. The government DOES NOT OWE YOU SHIT.

  • Wabbitt
    October 8, 2017 at 2:33 am

    I’m honestly shocked none of them accused Trump of trying to starve them to death.

  • The Wall
    October 7, 2017 at 6:21 pm

    When I go to the grocery store around the 1st of the month, it is always a sight to see. As I’m walking around with my hand basket full of food that I can barely afford, it sure does give me a warm and fuzzy feeling to see these piece of trash people and their shopping carts filled to the brim with Lucky Charms, Coca-cola, and any other shit food they can find.

  • mitch
    October 7, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    to ALL WORKING CLASS VOTERS, please stop voting for democrats. they are stealing your hard earned money and giving it away in the name of hunger. it is complete bullshit, the number one health problem for the NON-WORKING CLASS is obesity!!! they are buying votes pure and simple. immigration= importing more NON-WORKING CLASS and buying their votes. if you work for a living and vote democrat than you approve of this FRAUD and your family’s destruction. democrats DETEST the working class. they hector and denounce white workers for supposedly having privilege ,yada, yada, yada. the dems tried class warfare for 100 years, Americans wont buy into it, so.. they switched to identity politics to divide and conquer. Don’t buy into that garbage either. VOTE THEM OUT!!!

  • October 7, 2017 at 3:52 pm

    I work hard, 40-50 hrs per week. New business and self employed. I have yet to make ANY money. Utilizing Mass Health. Had to go to Taunton at the benefit office to fill out some papers. Place looked like the bar in Star Wars. It was crazy town. Oddly everyone there drove and had waaay better stuff than me. All Section 8’s and iPhone 8’s.

  • Miss Piggy
    October 7, 2017 at 10:49 am

    Is it strange that there is no food stamps in the mid west? Not at all because there are no lazy minorities in the mid west because the people there still believe in values and hard work.

    • Ebt tyrone
      October 7, 2017 at 12:38 pm

      Really, Detroit, Dearborn and Lansing are ebt capital cities.

  • Miss Piggy
    October 7, 2017 at 10:46 am

    They are sick fuckers. Here is how the world is supposed to work.

    You work all week and deserve to get paid. If you don’t get paid when expected you have a right to gripe.

    If you sit on your ass all day and contribute nothing to society you deserve nothing. So sorry your stamps are late……… NO shut the fuck up because you deserve NOTHING you lazy cunts.

  • Sue
    October 7, 2017 at 10:45 am

    If you give a mouse a cookie! Loved it literally spit my coffee out!! Perfect way to explain!! 🙂

  • Pissed off
    October 7, 2017 at 10:14 am

    Get this discussion I will get you off has harassment

    • Pissed off
      October 7, 2017 at 10:30 am

      Gett this discussion off today you got it…

      • Sue
        October 7, 2017 at 10:52 am

        This isn’t going anywhere. You can’t do shit about the truth. Deal with it, like we all deal with your EBT ass taking our tax dollars everyday eating shrimp and steak. And the first time there is a delay you think everyone should feel bad. This discussion will NEVER stop. Clearly you don’t know what TBS really writes about..

    • Sue
      October 7, 2017 at 11:39 am

      I really doubt that anyone at TBS wants you to “get them off” hahaha!! And just cause you don’t like the TRUTH. Does not mean it is harassment. Sorry

      • chrissy
        October 7, 2017 at 12:59 pm


        sue you took the words right outta our heads 🙂 you rock

  • Keir Darcey
    October 7, 2017 at 7:27 am

    I’m begining to wonder why we don’t change TANF & SNAP to a WIC program. Only certain foods at generic prices. Maybe permit certain uncooked cuts of chicken, pork, beef, lamb & fish.

  • Adey J.
    October 7, 2017 at 7:12 am

    I usually have the foresight to avoid the grocery store between the 1st and 7th when food stamps get disbursed, but Monday morning at 5:30 I had to swing by Safeway to grab literally TWO things my kid needed for school…

    There was one cashier and I got to the line at literally the same moment as a lady with TWO SHOPPING CARTS full of shit that I don’t buy my kids unless it’s their birthday. I had two fucking items in my hands and this broad just starts loading her free goodies on the conveyor belt…

    And 14 hours later, once it was finally time to pay, lo and behold, out comes the EBT card… And the most frustrating part of it all was that a line of people began to form of people who actually had jobs we all needed to get to so that we could pay for this bitches groceries next month, too.

  • chrissy loves her trollio
    October 7, 2017 at 1:41 am

    notice Jennifer BottleHo never said thank you when those people were throwing food at her?

    well done, SSTG, esp bone thugs reference and “appoused to” lmao

    • chrissy loves her trollio
      October 7, 2017 at 1:44 am

      correction: “appouse to”

    • Sue
      October 7, 2017 at 10:56 am

      Lmao first thing I noticed also. No reason to say thank you, she feels it’s owed to her

  • DJ Trump
    October 6, 2017 at 10:02 pm

    News from the front lines of the Free Shit Army

  • duhuh
    October 6, 2017 at 9:11 pm

    Forget Market Basket – Get yourselves over to Price Rite or Aldi, buy some 40 cents/dozen eggs and enjoy some high protein omelets. Get some less-than-a-dollar-a-loaf bread and it’s eggs and toast, egg sandwiches; throw in some milk and have French Toast.

    Of course, this means the entitled people have to swallow their ghetto pride, go to a discount store, bring their own bags, and actually cook food themselves instead of buying prepared foods (and when you have no job, who has time for that)?

  • Bill Realist
    October 6, 2017 at 8:50 pm

    Notice on the map how the middle of the country seems to be fine save for what looks like Colorado surprisingly . Maybe they got it….or don’t get it. Also why is it shaded into Mexico? One comment ” how am I supposed to feed my family?” Well the same way I do!

  • The Rant Queen
    October 6, 2017 at 8:35 pm

    “Appouse”. The fucking illiteracy that these EBTRASHBAGS suffer from does not help with my declining faith in the human race.

  • John Barker
    October 6, 2017 at 8:29 pm

    Flour,water,salt and scrape a bit off your hoochie…voila..BREAD!!

  • Miss Piggy
    October 6, 2017 at 7:40 pm

    The sense of entitlement from the posts is disgusting. These people actually believe that they are owed food stamps because they are theirs.

    I also like how Jenn says her kids want certain things and now they have to wait. She also says she always makes sure her kids get what they want?? NO NO NO Jenn YOU don’t make sure your fucking kids get what they want! That burden falls on the rest of us.

    • Kitty two shoes
      October 8, 2017 at 1:13 pm

      Really, the food stamps are not something that lazy brain dead skid marks are entitled to. They think for some reason other people have to support the endless kids they squirt out. Plus give money and stamps to the worthless needle dicks that knocked them up.

  • pro trump
    October 6, 2017 at 7:06 pm

    lol no1 will cry over a few dead niggers

    • SocialistsAreStoopid
      October 6, 2017 at 7:33 pm

      pro trump is nothing but a troll. don’t fall for the B.S. people.
      Using the “N” word is not cool.

    • Nctr
      October 6, 2017 at 9:14 pm

      It’s usually Dan Margolis.

  • Maggie the Cat
    October 6, 2017 at 7:00 pm

    This made my day.

  • Sloppy
    October 6, 2017 at 6:58 pm

    Someone needs to get the word out to these poor hungry people:
    All you need to do is take the bus over to the nearest Whole Foods supermarket. People who shop at Whole Foods are very generous, and they would love to take you into the store to fill up a shopping cart full of whatever you need for free. They’ll pay for it.
    Just look for people getting out of a Toyota Prius or a Subaru Forester with ‘Elizabeth Warren’ or ‘Bernie’ stickers on it. Those are the people who are the most generous and care about hungry people the most. They’re so generous they even want to give you OTHER people’s money if you don’t feel like working for any yourself, so no doubt they’ll have no problem being generous with their own money.

  • Publius
    October 6, 2017 at 6:32 pm

    SEVEN HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS A MONTH FOR GROCERIES? Wish I could do that! Public housing, food stamps, no job, free lunch, free transportation, and Jerry Springer all day long in your pajama bottoms which double as an outift when you take your kid to school or go pick up your Cumbies coffee and breakfast sandwich. HOW ABOUT YOU GET A FUCKING JOB YOU PIECES OF GHETTO SHIT? And…CLOSE YOUR LEGS AND STOP HAVING KIDS YOU CAN’T AFFORD.

  • Poo
    October 6, 2017 at 6:11 pm

    How come Ralphie May works for a living and dies early, but Steven Assanti gets to float through life high as a kite?

    And to the ebt outage “victims,” it’s called RAMEN NOODLES. My family was poor and we lived off them, and hot dogs, just fine without assistance. Dig for change in the couch cushions and get your dumb ass to the Walmart.

  • 2wEntEe
    October 6, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    There are hard working families that need help making ends meet but you will never ever see them taking to social media to complain about not receiving their EBT because their lives don’t revolve around handouts.

    I bet Jennifer uses her iPhone X to get her groceries delivered from stop and shop pea pod.

  • Sick of it all
    October 6, 2017 at 5:37 pm

    These disgusting trashbags make me sick. How do they sleep at night knowing that they do absolutely nothing to contribute to society except produce more losers who will follow in their footsteps. For people who claim to be hungry, they are all fat and nasty. They’re getting food somewhere!

  • Keir Darcey
    October 6, 2017 at 5:32 pm

    Just googled ‘food stamps’ and ‘TANF’ in the news within the last 24 hours. Nothing found.

    • Keir Darcey
      October 6, 2017 at 5:43 pm

      Welfare Benefits resulted in a recent article that stated,

      “the draft order calls on agencies to review existing regulations and propose new rules that conform to a set of broad welfare principles, including tighter work requirements that encourage recipients to shift back into the labor force.”

  • State Mandate
    October 6, 2017 at 5:21 pm

    The only people who are not receiving their food stamp’s were those sited for fraud. If you sell them you can’t turn around and complain you didn’t receive them. Don’t knock the DTA for doing their job and not announcing investigation’s. No State employee’s can publicly follow TB because we were being mass reported.

    October 6, 2017 at 5:20 pm


    • mitch
      October 7, 2017 at 4:57 pm

      if you vote democrat this is what you get…

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