All-Star Criminals

Framingham Fupa Bandit Gets Caught Stealing From Every House On Street While Ripping Newports, Proclaims Innocence Despite Recent Arrest For Eating Entire Bottle Of Klonopins In Front Of Police

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Amazon has revolutionized Christmas not only for law abiding members of society who no longer have to shlepp over to the clusterfuck known as the mall the weekend before Christmas, but also for ratchets who now get to play porch pirate all over town. Here’s your latest winner out of Framingham.

God forbid this fupa bandit wait until after she robs you blind at Christmas to fire up her cancer stick. Something tells me this ain’t her first rodeo.

She was also seen on a neighbor’s security video attempting to haul the big score to whatever unregistered jalopy she showed up in.

Most burglars bring a bag, or a sack to take their haul home with them. Not the Framingham Fupa Bandit though. She brings a cardboard box and a trash can.

If she had any friends left who she hadn’t stolen money from for OC’s she could’ve had them help her out. Instead her crispy ass was forced to drag them one at a time for distances of about 10-15 feet alongside a busy street in Framingham.

Naturally this pillar of health and fitness needed to take a break in between hauls.

Back to work!

This glop queef’s name is Ashley Russo, who has been known to reside in Milford, Framingham, and Holliston. Why she didn’t just rob people in Holliston or Ashland, which is much closer and much less likely to be seen, is beyond me. But I’m assuming she went to Framingham for a “meeting” and then decided to rob people to feed her “disease” instead.

She’s no stranger to Google trophies.

Good thing she wore her earrings out this time around so it would be hard to identify her.

Just last year this spunk taster got caught squatting in a Framingham apartment, and once confronted by the cops went full ratchet on them and downed an entire bottle of Klonopin right in front of them so they couldn’t confiscate it.

Police arrested a homeless couple on Tuesday when one illegally gave the other prescription medication in front of officers. Police arrested Travis Michael, 25, and Ashley M. Russo, 31, at 2:50 p.m. when police went to a Hayes Street rooming house. According to a police report, another tenant allowed Michael and Russo to use the room. The landlord, though, said the room was vacant and they weren’t supposed to be there. Police ordered Michael and Russo to leave.

“Ms. Russo was extremely upset and was yelling and swearing at us,” police wrote in the report. “Ms. Russo yelled over to Mr. Michael to give her some anxiety medication or she was going to have a panic attack. We observed Mr. Michael reach into his pocket and pull out a prescription bottle and give her pills right in front of us.”

Police questioned Michael, who said the medication was anti-anxiety medication. He said he had a prescription and he shared with Russo. He asked for the medication back, but Russo had already taken it. Police arrested Michael and charged him with illegal distribution of Klonopin. Police arrested Russo and charged her with illegal possession of Klonopin without a prescription. Russo also had three Milford District Court warrants for her arrest. One charged her with larceny by check and larceny of less than $250. The second charged her with larceny of less than $250 and the third charged her with shoplifting.

And did I mention she reproduced. Yup, this porch pooperino has three crotch fruits, none of who she has custody of, which once again begs the question – what’s so wrong with forced sterilization?

She obviously doesn’t work, and likely is on the government dole. Luckily for her we have taxpayer funded health insurance that includes dental. This is the the last thing a dentist sees before paging the secretary and saying, “cancel my 2 o’clock,” or “I’m taking an early retirement.”

Nevertheless she’s gone full dindu nuffin on Facebook, and even claims that she is going to the police to file charges against the people commenting on the pictures of her robbing people.

Bitch, you know damn well you ain’t going to the cops. Not with all those warrants I’d bet good money are out on you right now.

This might be the most ironic post ever.

Good point Trashley. If you can’t trust a chick who’s been arrested a bunch of times and recently swallowed a bottle of pills in front of the cops in a failed attempt to hide evidence, then who can ya trust?

Luckily some of the people who were robbed have found out where old man squatter lives and gotten some of the booty back.

It’s all good though, as long as she loves herself.

So that’s all that matters.

Anyway, if she wants to come on live this weekend for our special Christmas edition on Clarence Woods Emerson she’s more than welcome to. I’m sure she’s completely innocent and this is all a big misunderstanding that we can sort through if she just helps us get our FACKS straight.

18 Comment(s)
  • MWTR
    December 19, 2018 at 7:31 pm

    Went to high school with this dumpster fire, none of this shocks me. Pretty sure she ended up dropping out of cosmotology at Keefe fucking tech (dont quote me on that)….she was a fuckin head case then and like I said, no shock it turned into what looks to be 240 lbs of spoiled horse meat…I’d say it’s a shame but I’m thrilled she sucks at life.

  • Ashley, come take your Fentabuloso
    December 18, 2018 at 2:01 am

    Her page is still up.
    Mildly interesting, it is a study in lack of accountability and ratchetness to the umpteenth degree.

  • Holiday Justice.
    December 18, 2018 at 1:33 am

    Sure would be tragic if she caught a hot shot or somehow wandered onto I-90 during a snow or rainstorm with horrible visibility in the hours of darkness.
    That would be a terrible Kwaanza present to society, just horrible.
    Hope there’s dash cam footage if she ends up in the road.
    Would fap.

  • kudos laura schlessinger
    December 17, 2018 at 11:56 pm

    That should be a t-shirt slogan : “Can’t trust adsholes.”

  • Peter Niss
    P. Niss
    December 17, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Any chick rocking this type of look has a 80% chance of being a maggoty ratchet.

    • She got dat jungle fever
      December 18, 2018 at 1:37 am

      And 100% chance she’s been choked by a smelly tarpole for a bag of baking soda.

  • Chet Manley
    December 17, 2018 at 7:12 pm

    Fucking miserable cunt. Someone should shove that fucking snowflake up her dirt road and watch her fucking squirm. She makes the best case for daisy-chained claymores arrayed on the porch to keep the shitheels at bay.

  • The Vorlon
    The Vorlon
    December 17, 2018 at 7:10 pm

    Kill it with fire.

    On second thought, orbital kinetic bombardment comes to mind.

  • Skank Slayer
    December 17, 2018 at 5:01 pm

    How the fuck does she have kids? You would have to have a grudge on your dick to fuck that stanky walrus. Like the above comment I bet they can check off an affirmative action box when they need it

  • Thunder Thighs
    December 17, 2018 at 4:07 pm

    That bitch has some huge fucking thighs. Out of the 3 children she has I’m gonna go out on a limb and say at least two are biracial

  • Vlad the Impaler
    December 17, 2018 at 3:45 pm

    Meanwhile the rest of Framingham envies her for how many teeth she has left.

    • Amy Marks
      Amy M
      December 17, 2018 at 3:58 pm

      And the tooth loss is never their fault. It’s never because they don’t take advantage of free or near free cleanings. And it’s never because they don’t brush and floss properly.

    • Peter Niss
      P. Niss
      December 17, 2018 at 7:46 pm

      Only the south side of Framingham. North side of Framingham is a normal suburb.

  • Dindunuffin
    December 17, 2018 at 3:41 pm

    Now who the hell is this in this blue bandana
    Messin’ with the boxes that’s up under the three
    Look like Santa Claus been crossed to a woman to me
    Now I’m comin’ to see, the whole picture gettin’ clearer
    How we have messed; I says best get nearer
    Mirror, mirror, please, it’s seemed I’ve be deceived
    And thank the same trick for the gifts I receive
    So I creep back, and act like I ain’t even peeped it
    This’ll be me and Mom’s private secret

  • Santa comes early again...
    December 17, 2018 at 3:24 pm

    They just get stupider by the week, Love how she looks right at the camera! could you get any stupider?. This is why the cops should have looked the other way and acted like they didnt see her swallow the whole bottle.. There wouldnt be a story about her today!

  • Inspector Thorn
    December 17, 2018 at 2:50 pm

    This specimen will make enough Soylent Green to feed a preschool.

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      December 18, 2018 at 10:45 am

      Who the fuck downvotes this? If you fat finger you can change your vote by tapping the vote 3 time and then tap the other vote.

  • 5-O
    December 17, 2018 at 2:49 pm

    no. stop. don’t eat that entire bottle of pills. wait. look. there’s another bottle of pills. you’d better not eat that one too. stop.

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