All-Star Criminals

Fresh Out The Can For Stealing Flashlights Aspiring Cranston Rapper “Jackoff Sauce” Posts Pictures Of High School Girlfriend On Leash While Drinking Vodka With “Property Of Mack Sauce” Written On Cheeks

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Here’s a disturbing video that a rapper from Cranston posted of his 17 year old girlfriend which has over 100,000 views on Facebook alone:

The girl in the video is 17 year old Andrea Hale, AKA Barbara Gordon, and the dude putting her on the leash is 25 year old aspiring rapper John Mcevoy, AKA Mack Sauce. Is it illegal for a 25 year old to have sex with a 17 year old girl and walk her around the neighborhood like a poodle?

No. But procuring alcohol definitely is.

So a million people sent us this story, and some were saying she was as young as 14. But since we like to get to the bottom of stories we just messaged Andrea and Jackoff Sauce directly to figure out what was going on. Here’s what he said:

His rap music sounds like a raccoon performing a coat hanger abortion on itself:


Now it makes perfect sense why only a clearly damaged 16 year old would accept his tiny tonsil tickler.

He also claims that the vodka bottle was full of water, and that he was just trying to look cool. And why wouldn’t we believe him? It’s not like he has 47 court cases easily accessed on the Rhode Island Judiciary Portal page……

He’s a real gangsta though. He be stealing flashlights and shit while out on bail….

Warwick Police were called to Walmart at the Rhode Island Mall, 650 Bald Hill Road, at 4:06 p.m. Dec. 2 for a report of a man who had attempted to steal $235 worth of flashlights after stuffing them in his pockets and sweatpants, arresting him on a shoplifting charge that was also a bail violation.

Officer Mitchel Voyer arrived at the mall and spoke with the store’s loss prevention officer, who told him she’d seen the man, later identified as John McEvoy, 23, of 143 Beckwith St., Cranston, enter the store and take several flashlights. McEvoy had stuffed his pockets and his sweat pants with the flashlights, six in all, worth a total of $235.84, and left the store without making any attempt to pay for the merchandise, before being intercepted.

The loss prevention officer was speaking with McEvoy when Voyer showed up at the store. Voyer arrested him on a charge of shoplifting and transported him to Warwick Police Headquarters, where a check of his record showed he had plead no contest to a shoplifting charge on May 19, 2015 and received a one-year suspended sentence and one year probation.

As a result of the past conviction, he was charged with a felony count of shoplifting. McEvoy was also listed as a bail violator for a charge of second degree robbery, with a missed court date in November, according to the report. Voyer held McEvoy for the bail commissioner.

Meanwhile, here’s what she told us:

“He doesn’t treat me like a piece of ass, he treats me like his wife.”

Yea, lots of people post pictures like this of their wife on Facebook….

Although banging children seems to be his M.O. Here’s his last girlfriend…

Nevertheless he really believes he’s some sort of gangsta rapper….

You went to jail for stealing flashlights from Walmart. The inmates tossed your ass around you like a pizza pie. According to that article he went to jail in early December 2017. He was released on…..

You went to jail for 3 weeks and your 16 year old girlfriend was your only visitor. You’re about as hard as I am when looking at the Didi Delgado swimsuit calendar.

Can’t wait for his next album titled, “Middle class white boy from Cranston”:

Shit’s gonna be fire yo!!

Most people would lay low after being publicly outed as a low level ex-con who can’t bang chicks his own age so he has to resort to putting psychologically damaged 17 year old dick cushions on leashes while feeding them vodka. Not Jackoff Sauce though. He’s bragging about how this is only making their relationships stronger while stuntin on the haterz!!

If you have to cite Rhode Island statutory rape law in order to prove that you’re not a pedophile, you’re probably destined to end up on Turtleboy. Because the West Warwick Police have investigated this and he’s not violating any laws:

But he’s still a massive piece of shit and everyone who sees him should point and laugh at him for being so unable to get his spam javelin wet with women his own age that he has to resort to hanging outside of the local high school for wayward girls until he finds one desperate enough to settle for him.

31 Comment(s)
  • Slow news day
    August 5, 2018 at 11:57 am

    If she is old enough to be imprisoned for life then she is not a defenseless child incapable of making decisions. like dave chappelle says if you can go to jail for life at 15 you are old enough to decide to be pissed on. Also isn’t turtleboy a huge fan of rap and a freestyler himself? This kid sucks but lots of people like s and m and suck at rapping. Not a news story more of a boring day lets shit and troll on somebody which i am all for but when she asked if you were a reporter you shouldve said yes but not in tis case I am just a weirdo who wants to keep asking you if you were ever molested so I can out you on my page with screenshots. What if she would have said yes? Would you out a “child”(your opinion) about being sexually abused? obviously yes and That’s fucked up

  • Bleach ya assho
    August 2, 2018 at 10:16 pm

    Little word to the wise(or unwise in her case), they sell a product for that dark asshole, anal bleach, use it, know it, live it, dont take pictures of your butthole unless its been bleached! For Christ sake, and using a telephone cord? Who the hell still has those laying around aside from grandparents and hoarders?!? Theres just no words for the nasty persona this wanna be has, hes a fake, a fraud, and likes screwing children. He may be able to get away with it at 25, but wait til youre 30, youll be in jail in a min like my ex was when i was 16. She looks no older than 15, and yall are liars, thats not water, you dont make the drunk face with water numbnuts. He just needs to go back and sit in jail, forever. 

  • Dude Love
    August 2, 2018 at 9:24 pm

    Good grief, what a useless shitbird he is. Is there one single positive thing in RI to write home about other than strip joints and rub and tugs? What a silly state that is…

  • August 2, 2018 at 6:44 pm

    Fucking skinnahdactyl he is. also, definitely did not even get a visit from her in jail. Nice lie though. You cant just waltz into a jail under 18 to visit someone. You need to be accompanied by a legal guardian. So stop telling lies you pedophile! He also definitely lied about her age to his jail homies. If they knew she was 17 and him 25 they would have beaten his ass till he checked into punk city. He was definitely the house mouse of his cell. And to top it all off shes not even good looking one bit, I would be ashamed to be in public with that thing. He over there parading her around like shes some type of model or something. Kid if I were you I would just kill my self, your life is a joke & so are you.

  • Bernadette Zimmerman
    August 2, 2018 at 6:29 pm

    They both need asylums so they can die in there. Fucking disgusting, both of them are mentally fucked in the head.

  • Pedo Rap is a thing?
    August 2, 2018 at 5:02 am

    Pretty soon he’ll be able to hide a D cell Maglite in that ass.
    Won’t even wince.
    4 D size.
    So low budget he uses clothesline for a leash.
    Chops his 10% purity bar coke with an ebt card.
    And what’s up with her stinkly crinkly?
    Looks like a bruised apple.
    She’s too young to have that kind of wear on the turdcutter.

  • Marshmallows
    August 2, 2018 at 2:13 am

    The pic of her ass cheeks in a thong screams child pornography… Because she isnt 18… How can she degrade herself like that and settle for a guy who sounds like humpty from the 90s… XD. His name rapper name should be mack pedo… Or mack child pornographer

  • Snarky Rider
    August 2, 2018 at 12:45 am

    Holy Jezuss fu**ing Christ on a pogo stick!!!.
    Pedo-Cranston-Rapper was banging this child when she was 16. He’s giving her alcohol and likely many other substances. She gladly takes photos like that for his public pages. She will be knocked up within one year, and strung out on drugs- maybe heroin.
    If this was my daughter, I would be ugly crying and banging on his door and his parents door to let them know what a shit bag they gave birth to.
    Honestly, hope he crashes his car through metal Ginsu barriers on the side of the road and gets his penis severed from him body.

  • Hand me the popcorn plz
    August 1, 2018 at 10:38 pm

    Her mom is dead. Drug overdose. These two are also known to smoke crack. Heard she also overdosed last year. If she doesn’t receive some kind of help soon, she will be dead by the age of 20. Sad.

  • Ray Patriarca
    August 1, 2018 at 9:45 pm

    Fucking disgratziate !
    This little putiach will be pumping out a bastard within a year.
    That is, if the little needle-dick fanook has it in him.
    Doubtful.

  • Anonymous Turrle
    August 1, 2018 at 9:35 pm

    If “Mac Sauce” plays his cards right, he could end up owning MANY possibly underage girls, and a house (of many cums!)

  • Chip Striker
    August 1, 2018 at 9:15 pm

    Forget about banging the 17 year old look at this retards outfits. Pants down below the ass means your ready to mate in prison, how does that translate to gangsta outside of it?? Then the outfit of him rapping in the car, his jacket looks like the top half of a chicken costume.

    What a fucking loser.

  • Wade Boggs- Taint
    August 1, 2018 at 8:56 pm

    I have to blame her parents. I don’t know what kind of no sack father she had, assuming he hung around, but if ANYONE in her family knew or cared about her that little cuntlip would be a smear on a bumper.

  • z
    August 1, 2018 at 8:51 pm

    Hey Y, you are the master of embedding.

    How about the jean luc picard face palm video. It seems appropriate for these 2.

  • Omg and she’s smoking a cigarette
    August 1, 2018 at 8:23 pm

    Fat chicks need love too

  • Finn
    August 1, 2018 at 8:12 pm

    Mack,

    Now that she’s 17, she’s kind of over the hill now, huh? I’m betting you trade her in by 2019 (perhaps earlier). Guys like you always do.

    You’re merely a shit-bag predator. You like underage girls because 1. you have a proclivity for little girls and 2. real women scare you.

    Your plan? I’ve seen it hundreds of times (trust me) – You roped her into visiting you in while you were locked up, you mind-fucked her into thinking you were the only one for her, you continually objectified her as your “property”, and lied to her family that you gave a rat’s ass about her well being. *sighs* I feel bad for her future shrink.

    However, you’ll be arrested within 12 months, so I’m not too worried. You’re too stupid not to get caught up in some dumb shenanigans and get busted. In the meantime, you’re the type of guy that already has his next target in sight. It’s the R. Kelley (minus the rapping skills) in you.

    Get Fucked,
    Finn

  • z
    August 1, 2018 at 7:59 pm

    She’s 17. Let’s assume she is still in High School.
    “Ok everyone, I want everyone to write a 500 word report on what you did on your summer vacation.”

    “I had a great summer. My older boyfriend wrote on my ass that I was his property. We took videos of him choking me. He walked me around the neighborhood with a dog collar. I also drank myself silly and posted that on social media……”

    • The angry taint
      August 1, 2018 at 8:20 pm

      Hold on z it was just water…right?….predator is the correct word for this douche nozzle

  • perv with a conscious
    August 1, 2018 at 7:27 pm

    I dont agree with mack sauce and think he’s a piece of shit, however what man doesn’t want a 17 yo piece of ass? I lay down the line at taking a gander for the spank bank, besides its difficult when viewing, what is of age. Most normal guys will look and say damn. This dude gives no fucks and plows the teen pussy with no remorse. The only blame and who should be shamed are the 17 yo parents. They condone her behavior and accept the eminem wannabe. If i had a daughter her age, that prick would have received a beating by now with major damage done to the ball sack.

    • The angry taint
      August 1, 2018 at 7:33 pm

      Actually agree with you on this… the taint is pleased

  • Citypoint
    August 1, 2018 at 7:19 pm

    Pull up your drawers son,makes you look unemployable.

  • The angry taint
    August 1, 2018 at 7:17 pm

    Ok….wow where to begin, 1) he is gay 2)hiding his gay has led him to be a sexual deviant 3) she has obviously no parental supervision in her 4)possible mental issues 5)if it was my daughter he would be a latent stain on my basement floor 6) she got a sista? ….asking for a friend

  • Y
    August 1, 2018 at 6:47 pm

  • ncfoothillbilly
    August 1, 2018 at 6:22 pm

    Didi has the face of a sow hog addled with Downs Syndrome. A porky ‘Corky’, if you please. As for fag sauce…you are a weak kid. Accept it!

  • hank
    August 1, 2018 at 6:04 pm

    If you find yourself in a situation where some douche is writing on your thonged ass so he can use it for social media, you’ve made some bad choices in life. At the very least, you could give that dirt star a scrub. That poor thong is going to need therapy.

    MACK O SAUCE

    gross

    • z
      August 1, 2018 at 8:03 pm

      Life is full of bad choices. Sometimes you don’t realize it was a bad choice until after the fact. This is one were you know up front it’s a bad choice and don’t give a fuck. Those are worse.

    • z
      August 1, 2018 at 8:35 pm

      Life is full of bad choices. Sometimes you don’t realize it was a bad choice until after the fact. This is one were you know up front it’s a bad choice and don’t give a fuck. Those are worse. I’ve made both. They were made in a vacuum of me only hearing me.

      But when multiple voices say “WTF?” and your answer is “Fuck You” that’s even dumber.

      About 30-35 years ago, I worked with a girl who went to Puerto Rico for 2 weeks vacation with a girl friend. She comes back and gushes on, on how she met this dude with a fancy car flashing cash. Said he loved her, blah, blah.,… While she’s back, the dude is calling her. She tells everyone that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her and she should move to PR. Everyone says, “What? You’re crazy, you don’t know this guy!!!” She quits, sells the car, leaves her apartment, moves to PR. A month or so later she’s back. “What happened?” “He wanted me to make porn videos with his friends!!!! That’s how he makes his money”. Everyone knew something didn’t add up. Never expected that though. We were figuring drugs was how he made his money. I think she thought that too and was good with it. Probably watched too much Miami Vice.

      NIce girl, but dumb as a box of rocks. A poor choice even with the council of people telling her different.

      • Stunt Penis
        August 2, 2018 at 4:19 am

        First clue she was a complete moron was “go on a vacation to Puerto Rico”.

        Who the fuck takes a vacation to (quoting President Trump) a shit-hole like Puerto Rico?

        • z
          August 2, 2018 at 8:00 am

          Yeah. But this was 30+ years ago. If we work under the assumption that people from P.R. living here are here because living here is better, And, see the way they live here, that P.R. must be a real load of laughs.

          I’d personally have a hard time enjoying myself in a place that was a shit-hole. You go to Cancun and are told don’t deviate off the main drag. You go to Jamaica and are told to not leave the resort property on your own.

          Last year my nephew and his girlfriend went to Belize. WTF4????? I had watched a documentary on John McAfee (the virus protection guy) and his probable involvement in a murder in Belize. Belize looks like one of those places where they send the T shirts of the losing Super Bowl team that say the team won (there’s probably hundreds of thousand Pats T-Shirts around the word saying they won the last SB). Picture Holyoke in the Flats area but not as nice. “How was Belize?” “It was ok, we were told where we could go safely and shouldn’t go.” “So, what did you do?” “Drank a lot”.

          I’m on fucking vacation, why should I have to be that concerned about my personal safety? If it’s that bad, go somewhere else.

          Well, anyways, that was a long time ago. She’s got to be in her late 50s early 60s by now. Hopefully bumps and scrapes like that smartened her up.

  • Mike Hunt
    August 1, 2018 at 6:03 pm

    Her parents must be proud.

    • z
      August 1, 2018 at 7:52 pm

      Scary part is, they probably are proud.

      She’s landed a stable young man who has a job in the lighting industry.

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