All-Star Criminals

Fupacho Grande Is An Illegal Immigrant Who Got Picked Up By ICE And Says She’s The Victim Because A MAGA Hat Made Her Attack A Stranger At Falmouth Mexican Restaurant Because She Felt Bullied


Looks like the Falmouth Fupacho Grande made a very, very poor decision last week when she tried to take a MAGA hat off some dude trying to eat dinner at a local Mexican restaurant……

Howie Carr ShowThe woman who assaulted a Falmouth man a week ago Friday at a Mexican restaurant over his red “Make America Great Again” hat is in the country illegally and was arrested Tuesday morning by Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

“Deportation officers with ICE’s Fugitive Operations Team arrested Rosiane Santos, an unlawfully present citizen of Brazil, today near Falmouth, Massachusetts,” said U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement John Mohan. “Santos is currently facing local charges for assault and other offenses,” he said. “She is presently in ICE custody and has been entered into removal proceedings before the federal immigration courts.”

Falmouth police arrested Santos, 41, on Feb. 15 after she allegedly assaulted Bryton Turner, 23, of Mashpee, who was wearing a MAGA hat. The incident led to greater scrutiny of her immigration record, local law enforcement officials said.

“The minute I walked in and sat down, the woman [Santos] said something to me, she said, ‘What does your hat say, what does your hat say,’ and I showed her, ” Turner said on the Howie Carr Show on Friday. “She goes, ‘Why would you wear that here?’,” he said. “And I said, it’s America and I can wear this hat wherever I want.” Turner said Santos told the bartender to poison his drink after slapping his MAGA hat off of his head several times.

Falmouth police officers responded after the bartender called 911 and arrested Santos when she refused to comply with their order for her to leave the premise. After Falmouth police ran Santos’ finger prints, they contacted ICE and discovered that she is in the country illegally. Santos came to the United States in 1994 on a tourist visa from Brazil and never left, according to ICE officials. ICE is investigating whether Santos is subject to removal from the U.S. According to law enforcement records, Santos was previously arrested in operating a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol in 2017.

Pro tip – if you’re in this country illegally, don’t do things that will draw the attention of the police towards you. You’re lucky to be living in a state where politicians like Jamie Eldridge want to protect and coddle you. All you have to do is just keep going on about your life and you can pretty much stay here until you die.

But instead your Trump Derangement Syndrome made you go full queefnado. Sure, you could’ve just drank a couple more margaritas, wolfed down your refried beans, and ended the night by turning your bathroom into Hiroshima 2.0. But you saw the red hat and the white lettering and you just couldn’t help yourself. Like I said before, I really don’t think it matters what the words are. These lurchbeasts just see the red hat and they lose their mother loving minds. Which is why you should totally buy your Turtleboy 2020 MIGA hats today by clicking here

The best part is that she told the news last week that SHE was the victim:

“I had a little bit to drink maybe that’s the reason that I couldn’t walk away but being discriminated for so many times in my life, I just had to stand up for myself,” she said. “He’s not a victim. I am the victim. I have been bullied, OK?”

Bullied by a hat. I can’t. I just can’t.

She really, truly believes she was victimized because a stranger wore a red hat with white lettering on it. Being discriminated against for so many times in your life? You’ve been living here illegally for 25 freaking years!! We have accommodated you, fed you AMPLY, didn’t deport your ass after you got arrested for OUI in 2017, and you’re gonna whine about discrimination? The only thing you discriminate against are vegetables and exercise.

Anyway, to me this kind of debunks both sides of the immigration debate. I’d love to hear from the wall people how a $6 billion wall would stop someone from flying here from Brazil and overstaying her visa like most illegal immigrants do. I also can’t wait to hear from whiny politicians about how the Falmouth PD called ICE. Because God forbid one law enforcement agency (gasp) share information on a criminal with another law enforcement agency. We’d love to have Fupacho Grande on the show, but it sounds like she’s gonna ICING up for a little bit. 



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50 Comment(s)
  • Victory Lane
    February 27, 2019 at 11:24 am

    It’s a good thing she’ll be sent home… but I’d probably be tempted to attack this guy too, if only to hold him down and shave that thatch of pubes on his face he calls a beard.

  • Independent Thinker
    February 27, 2019 at 7:24 am

    You have no right to hit someone, assault someone, or attack someone. If you do, you face certain consequences. In this case, deportation.

    She is lucky that the person she attacked wasn’t carrying, or that he didn’t have certain connections.”

  • Shawn Silvia
    Juan juarez
    February 26, 2019 at 10:39 pm

    SSTG should stick to making sandwiches. The wall isnt going to 100% stop illegals but it will stop a large portion of them. There isnt a single, solitary solution to this problem. Overstayed Visas is what we have ICE for

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      February 27, 2019 at 2:29 pm

      SSTG just can’t keep herself in check. Most people with critical thinking skills know that most illegals come here on tourist visas. The wall and other beefing up of the southern border will hopefully limit the ones who fail the “visa check”. You know, drug mules, gang members, terrorists, etc.

  • Tom
    February 26, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    ICE should’ve dragged her into the street, thrown her facedown on the pavement and emptied a clip into the back of her head.

  • Observer X
    February 26, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    TB, please tell us you’ll throw your weight around to ensure this Biyotch gets deported. It should have happened in 2017. How in fucks sake did she beat a DWI?

  • Captain Trips
    Rico Suave
    February 26, 2019 at 8:48 pm

    Some women have this strange way of telling you they like you by insulting you and/or harassing you.

    I personally think muchacha grande here wanted his burrito

  • National Emergency: Raw dog and Plan B all the latinas and brazas until further notice
    February 26, 2019 at 8:36 pm

    This is good. This should serve as a formality for illegals. Don’t fuck up. Now this chick is every bit white as her skin, thanks to european genes. She probably can’t even speak portagee or espanol, just english. Ice and the fpd did great work, though i think the real reason this le grande burrito acted up is because the maga dude wouldn’t throw her the bone.

  • Massholio
    February 26, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    Oops she’s in the wind again free to assault native Massholes. Haha! We the payers got played again!

  • Dean Wormer
    February 26, 2019 at 7:47 pm

    Drunk, fat, and illegal is no way to go through life.

  • Syl Braz
    February 26, 2019 at 7:23 pm

    Don’t let the door hit you on your gigantic ass on the way out back to that turd encrusted cesspool you call your country of origin. This is poetic justice to the highest power imaginable.

  • Lizzie 2020
    February 26, 2019 at 7:05 pm

    Deport her to Lawrence. The El Calde and Tall Decal will help her get acclimated. Take the 4 coats of makeup off, and she will look like one of the Lawrence Natives that run wild up there…Undalay! Undalay!

  • Brian Brady
    February 26, 2019 at 6:51 pm

    Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

  • NelsonMuntz
    February 26, 2019 at 6:44 pm

    Too bad, so sad, chocha! Ahh Ha!

  • fatfuck
    February 26, 2019 at 6:36 pm

    dirty, fat brazilian pig. die you fat cunt

  • Katherine Ann Schwartz
    February 26, 2019 at 6:19 pm

    I’m sure we can all agree that this site is much better now that the thumbs up/down thing is gone from the comments section. In the past I saw some posts that got a lot of thumbs down and I’m sure it couldn’t have felt good for those people. Good job, respond if you agree.
    No more bullying and hurt feelings!

    • Washashore
      February 26, 2019 at 7:43 pm

      I agree!

    • Bill Gates
      February 26, 2019 at 7:50 pm

      It’s on the mobile site for some reason. Jiggly website so rando shit happens.

  • mrme
    February 26, 2019 at 6:10 pm

    “The only thing you discriminate against are vegetables and exercise.”

    Hey South Shore Turtlegirl (SST), will you please give a warning before posting one liners like this? I just spit my mouth full of Merlot all over my laptop.

  • The Vorlon
    Kosh Naranek
    February 26, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    I don’t want a Go-fund-me for the wall, I want a go-fund-me to buy bullets for the machine gun nets ON the wall. I would also be willing to return some empty bottles for a catapult that would loft her wide load back to Brazil.

  • Linda
    February 26, 2019 at 5:43 pm

    If more people wore MAGA hats we could root out all of these illegals as they roam the country side letting us know who they are. Or just check all of the Brazilian names in the DUI folder because it’s likely they have all been bagged at least once.

  • Pay Attention Turtleboy
    February 26, 2019 at 5:42 pm

    I hope the up/down voting is a glitch because if you removed it; you have just lost a rider.

  • Randall Guy
    February 26, 2019 at 5:13 pm

    This is the real me. I swear. You can tell by the pungent smell of excrement emenating from my upper lip. Ohhhh how I love comments and downvotes. Treat me like my daddy did and place me into a burlap bag and immerse me in the septic tank. Ohhh it tingles.

  • The Ghost of John Wayne
    February 26, 2019 at 5:00 pm

    Don’t worry. Bolsonaro doesn’t want her amyway. MBGA!!!

  • Hugh Mungous
    February 26, 2019 at 4:51 pm

    Before the door hits you in the ass I will give you a President Jackson to vacuum my house and give me a Bob Kraft memorial handji … Comprendé

  • Stunt Penis
    February 26, 2019 at 4:42 pm

    Reported earlier on Howie’s she’s no longer in ICE custody. She was released with a date to appear for a deportation hearing.

    How much you want to bet:

    a. She never shows up
    b. The Falmouth police officer who sent her prints to ICE gets disciplined

  • Jeff J
    Tim Murray's Designated Driver
    February 26, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    WOW!! This is how ridiculously bad it’s got…..when someone can be in the country illegally for almost 25 years, get arrested on a very serious charge and SQUAT happens. I wonder if she had a job or was a welfare sponge. That is a shitload of eyebrow pencil……someone had to pay for it. GTFOH……..SMELL YA LATER!!!

  • Big Butt Stuffer
    February 26, 2019 at 4:11 pm

    Do people not understand that THE WALL is for the lulz? I don’t care if it works.

    The same people who use “people overstay their visas” as an excuse are the same people supporting sanctuary cities.

    Also $6 billion is a pretty cheap way for the Democrats to let Trump make an absolute fool of the GOP for decades to come…so why wouldn’t they authorize The Wall?

    (cause it probably works. MAGA)

  • Kim Wescott
    February 26, 2019 at 4:10 pm

    Sweet Revenge!

    I hope MAGA hat dude is a TurtleRider! This may be one of the best days of his life!

  • Batman
    February 26, 2019 at 4:10 pm

    Sure put a smile on my face reading this. Good guys actually win one,, enjoy it while it lasts. The next story will be about curtatone giving sanctuary to one of these criminal a holes.

  • Rockets Redglare
    February 26, 2019 at 4:00 pm

    Instant TB classic ‘the only thing you discriminate against are vegetables and exercise’. Holy shit I laughed so hard my spleen fell out of my ear lol.
    Maybe she got arrested when she told the ICE agent she would give him a Bob Kraft if he eats her fish Taco! ROFLMAO

    • Rockets Redglare
      February 26, 2019 at 4:11 pm

      This would be a fake Rockets Redglare, not the one and only original. Make your own fake name up asswipe…

    • Rockets Redglare
      February 26, 2019 at 4:18 pm

      There is an imposter among us using my name. Pay no attention to him…

  • Rockets Redglare
    February 26, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    No more up/down votes. THANK YOU!

    • Rockets Redglare
      February 26, 2019 at 5:09 pm

      I see you’re using my name to post your stupid shit on the Masslive site now. Stop it already

  • Washashore
    February 26, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    Deport an illegal? The old woke folk will be protesting on town green, hopefully after the next snowfall so they can get another slush job…

  • Milf Assessor
    February 26, 2019 at 3:49 pm

    Bye-bye you illegal fat cunt …stealing my tax money …great job Maga hat dude!


  • Bat Mitzvah
    February 26, 2019 at 3:43 pm

    Love it! Vaya con dios. You old Mucho Grande. La cucaracha!

  • Rich
    February 26, 2019 at 3:37 pm

    The feel good story of the day!

  • Bye Bye Bitch
    February 26, 2019 at 3:31 pm

    Deportation line is on the right, please follow the white line.

  • Buh Bye Fatty
    February 26, 2019 at 3:31 pm

    Get ready for the old Falmouth cunts to hit the common this weekend in full force for an all out No ICE buttfest. Better fire up the snow plows. This illegal , free loading bitch will not be missed and the assistance she has been stealing for decades can be better spent elsewhere.

    • Future Sanctuary City
      February 26, 2019 at 4:50 pm

      How long before these Falmouth flapgums are at the town meeting asking for the police chief’s firing along with a complete overhaul of police protocol regarding reporting “undocumented” maggots? 3,2,1….

  • Y
    February 26, 2019 at 3:31 pm


    • z
      February 26, 2019 at 5:42 pm

      Yeah. It’ll make the progs posting racist rants seem legit. Sometimes you can’t bother to counter but it’s easy enough to down someone.

      Hey, their web site, their rules.

      • True Reality Speaks
        The Left Needs Its Useful Idiots to Hate
        February 26, 2019 at 6:41 pm

        I never give thumbs down to the libs posing as racists. It just encourages those morons – better to ignore the virtue signalers.

  • JimmyBooms
    February 26, 2019 at 3:25 pm

    I think this hat might sell


    Turtle Boy do it or I’ll will there is cash to be made buddy

  • Y
    February 26, 2019 at 3:24 pm

    The wall is just one of many tools needed to help secure our nation’s sovereignty. What don’t you people understand? So, we should just continue to let people (as well as sex slaves, drugs, etc.) cross the border unchecked because we also have people overstaying visas? GTFOH!!

  • Francis Sidebottom
    February 26, 2019 at 3:19 pm

    Driving drunk didn’t get her deported but knocking a hat off some dimwits head did lets keep America mediocre at best

  • Y
    February 26, 2019 at 3:19 pm

    Pro tip: don’t break the law while breaking the law.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    February 26, 2019 at 3:14 pm

    Is she a drug dealer? How does she afford all of her stuff if she’s illegal and can’t work?

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