Gay Best Friend Cameraman Does Epic Play By Play Commentary For Fupa Troopa Vs. Ho-Prah Gland To Gland Combat In Hartford
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Take 5 minutes out of your day to watch these Hartford hoodbunnies do battle:
Who knew that ratchet fights have become this complicated? Back in my day two butter dumpsters got together like this and just started fighting. Not these Connecticunts. They spent a good period of time negotiating the ground rules. And I’m sorry, but on what planet is this chick in the purple shirt living if she thinks that hair pulling is off limits in a cat fight? You live in Hartford sweetheart. You’ve seen how this works. These things always end up like a Nat Geo special on mating rituals:
This is generally how they decide who will be the next star of Teen Mom Hartford.
Then Ho-prah thought she got to call timeout to do her ponytail:
Big mistake. Next thing you know Fupa Troopa is dragging her down by her hair again
Punched in the face repeatedly
And then Chuck Norrised to the domepiece
In fairness Ho-prah did get her hits in:
But she definitely lost the fight. No doubt about that.
How bout that commentary from the GBF (gay best friend) too? Reminds me of this guy:
“STAND YO ASS UP CYNTHIA!!!”
He was not fucking around. Dude is a harder coach than Bobby Knight. He came there to see a fight, but he sure wasn’t willing to part with his Wal-Mart brand shirt once his topless cheesehog of a friend lost her’s in battle.
Meanwhile, who does Cynthina think she is with this “I can’t breathe”? She pulled a Chris Webber and called a timeout when she didn’t have one. She can’t breathe? Shocking. Because by the looks of the swiss rolls hanging over her fupa, she seems to be in great shape.
Coach GBF wasn’t having none of that though:
“Cynthia this is a fucking fight, so don’t even. You better swing BACK!!!”
“Cynthia you better fucking swing before I swing at your fucking face. You better hurry up, I don’t give a fuck.”
I also love all the cars that drive by and no one thinks to get out and break it up. Just your standard Sunday commute through East Hartford.
And that was just round 1. There’s three parts. The second video is basically the same as the first except the GBF yells
“uppa-cut, there you go, uppa-cut”over and over again. The third video has hilarious commentary as well:
Scissor me timbers!!!
Coach GBF done lost his mind:
“GET THE FUCK UP CYNTHIA!!! I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!!!! YOU DO ALL THIS SHIT FOR NOTHING!!!”
There’s no pleasing this pajama clad chutney ferret, who gives new meaning to the term ghettofabulous.
Finally after the longest 10 minute fight ever, the two lardvarks collapse into each other’s arms for a hoodrat panini sandwich.
Looking like two potatoes in a crockpot.
Anyway, for bonus commentary check out their Facebook pages. Here’s Fupa Troopa’s, and here’s Ho-prah’s. Naturally her real name is, what else – Heavyn. As if naming your kid Heaven isn’t ghetto enough. You had to spell it with a Y just to let people know that you spent significantly more time naming your child than you did raising them. And Heavyn is NOT happy with the way that fight went down or how it has been received.
She definitely does like the GBF either:
But the scissoring makes a little more sense now…..
Just sayin. This is why I never go to Hartford. It’s a Godless traffic cesspool of a Godless cut through state that has no reason to exist in the first place.
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