Attention ladies – if you live in the New Hampshire area and you wanna turn your boyfriend or husband on, then you’re in luck because I found a guy in a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat that can help you out.

Facebook really is a magical place. What the hell is this?

I take better pictures of my crotch fruits with my iPhone.

For only $50 the guy with the goose shit goatee will come into your bedroom and take pictures of you in the sexiest way possible. Who wouldn’t let this guy into their house to do that?

Adam Eldridge’s “business” is apparently called “Explicit Art.” He doesn’t have a Facebook page, but he does have a group you can join to see some of his other work.

As you can see, he excels at the art of the disposable camera. And yes, he is looking to do noodz too. He just has to find someone with low enough self esteem to take their clothes off in front of him.

He also does outdoor shoots where he gives you a pouch and calls you a carpenter.

Yea, it’s mostly the same women over and over again, but he’s always in the market for some new models if you ladies are down for it.

Anyone? ANYONE???

You too could have your ass oggled over by his creepy, perverted friends in his Facebook group.

But don’t worry, he’s not like those other creepy photographers you’ve seen on Turtleboy.

He’s the good creepy kind.

Of course this is the clientele he usually gets.

If you don’t smoke a cartoon of Newports a week and have full length skeleton sleeve tattoos, you’re probably not gonna fit in at Explicit Art.

In all seriousness, this guy is obviously a pervert. In no way, shape, or form is he a professional anything, and he basically preys on chicks who look like the just got run over by a truck full of losing Keno tickets. And since he operates out of the Rochester area he has no shortage of potential clients. He gets them naked so him and his buddy’s can have spank bank material, lets them believe they’re building their portfolio to become models, and then whines on Facebook about how nice guys like him always finish last.

He’s also a Grandpa who still wears flat brimmed hats, so obviously he’s got life by the balls. Maybe I’ll hit him if Mr. Turtlebabe wants to role play like two recovering junkies who just met at an AA meeting.

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