Greenfield Is Considering A Training Program For Kindergarten Teachers Because Their Snowflake Parents Haven’t Potty-Trained Their Kids

Greenfield Is Considering A Training Program For Kindergarten Teachers Because Their Snowflake Parents Haven’t Potty-Trained Their Kids

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Everyone knows that Franklin County has the highest concentration of snowflakes in Massachusetts. But even this seems a tad bit absurd:

Yup, that’s right – there’s an epidemic of 5 and 6 year olds in Greenfield who don’t know how to use the potty. Real life:

After a group of kindergarten teachers spoke out about growing concerns over students coming to school without being sufficiently toilet-trained, a recommendation has been made by the school’s policy committee to potentially address this issue in the future. Over the summer, teachers went to a policy and curriculum subcommittee to discuss an uptick in students in their classes this past school year who were not fully toilet-trained, looking for possible solutions from the School Committee and the superintendent.

The first question that Hollins, the head of the subcommittee, had to address was whether a student who is not toilet-trained is eligible to come to kindergarten. After extensive review of policy language, both locally and across the state, Hollins said she found that if the child is the right age, then they are all set. “It became clear looking at the laws that if the children are eligible for kindergarten, they are eligible for kindergarten,” Hollins said.

With this knowledge, Hollins, alongside member Don Alexander, looked to what could the school do to make sure that students who were coming to school could function in the school setting to the best of their ability. They set out to shape the policy in a way that could address any issues children may be having and that the superintendent could then address if a problem cropped up. “I think there have always been a couple children who weren’t toilet trained but it seems like more now, but it could be the particular year,” Hollins said.

This is how snowflakes are manufactured. People always whine about millenials and the everyone gets a trophy generation. But it’s not their fault that their parents completely failed them.


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7 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    September 12, 2017 at 5:17 pm

    I don’t think any kid in my family wasn’t toilet trained by age 4. How the hell are people sending their kids to school at 6 without potty training?? Teachers have enough to worry about without adding, “Johnny fudged himself.” to the mix. And they sure as hell aren’t paid enough to be cleaning up piss and shit.

  • September 12, 2017 at 10:26 am

    My kid is on his 2nd week of kindergarden, fully potty trained but still having a hard time pooping in a strange new place. He has been holding it in till he gets home. Maybe if teachers openly talked about it it would be easier for the kids to do their duty

  • Brian
    September 12, 2017 at 7:26 am

    Can they please please please just give that entire part of the state to New York?

  • The Rant Queen
    September 12, 2017 at 6:59 am

    Humans just keep getting lazier and dumber every generation. I wouldnt be surprised if extinction was just a few decades away.

  • They call me Ponch
    September 12, 2017 at 5:54 am

    They’re probably confused as to which bathroom to use.

    I’d probably just shit my pants too.

  • Ms.
    September 12, 2017 at 2:37 am

    I used to work as a teacher’s assistant at a kindergarten.
    Unfortunately this is now a concern for places all over as schools basically
    have to parent other people kids. Some kids don’t know potty-training by 5
    (every child is different) and we have to do it, and believe me, potty training
    your OWN kids is a pain in the side, much less doing it for other kids.
    I see a lot of kindergartens requiring kids to be trained in the future.

  • Steven Stover
    September 12, 2017 at 2:08 am

    Maybe the bong girl from Groton could be a teachers assistant here. She may have enough brains for the job. I certainly bet she understands a kid not be potty trained at 5 years old.

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