All-Star Criminals

Gronk’s Hardo Entourage Doppleganger Roommate Is On The War Path Looking For These Cock Biscuits Who Robbed Their Home During The Super Bowl

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WHDHPolice have arrested a Randolph man in connection with a burglary last month at Patriots player Rob Gronkowski’s house. Gronkowski called 911 himself in early February to report that his Foxborough house had been broken into while he was with the Patriots in Minnesota for the Super Bowl. Anathony Almeida, 31, was arrested and charged with breaking and entering, receiving stolen property and malicious destruction of property. He was arraigned Friday afternoon. Police said items recovered during the investigation include an Apple Watch, a Rolex watch and two rare coins from the 1800s. Other items, including firearms, have not yet been recovererd. Police are also looking for 26-year-old Shayne Denn of Tewksbury and 28-year-old Eric Tyrrell of Foxborough.

Da fuq is you boys thinking? What kind of bootleg crackheads rob Gronk’s house while he’s at the Super Bowl? That’s un-American and totally NOT the Patriot way. He’s a NFL super star. Obviously he’s got cameras all over the joint and they’re gonna find your amateur asses pretty easily. I’m assuming these fella have the “disease” that’s been going around. No other explanation for how anyone can be this dumb.

If you’re gonna pull off a stunt like this it better be with professionals.

What you don’t do is bring a guy named Shayne in a denim jacket and his manbunned sidekick. That’s like a recipe to get caught.

I mean, just look at this cock biscuit:

Flat brimmed hat with the sticker still on it, douche canoe gym selfies, and a Christmas alone in a wife beater. He’s the ultimate Shayne with a Y.

Meanwhile Gronk’s driver/roommate/BFFL “Goon” is going full hardo all over social media looking for these rubes….

Hardo alert!!

A short, portly, hipster bearded guy leeching off of the enormous successes of his buddy. Goon reminds me of someone. Can’t figure out who……..

Oh right, he’s Turtle from Entourage. No one’s afraid of Turtle though.

Anyway, I’m sure by the time I wake up tomorrow these nudniks will be in handcuffs, but if you know where they’re at right now feel free to let us know.

16 Comment(s)
  • Schutzstaffel
    March 25, 2018 at 6:53 pm

    A nigger and a spic. Surprise. Still think they’re not a drain on society?

  • hardy har
    March 24, 2018 at 11:33 pm

    “Anathony Almeida, 31, was arrested…”

    Tony Almeida?

    Are the police looking for Jack Bauer as well?

    • Hi, Do You Have A Moment To Talk About Your Afterlife?
      March 27, 2018 at 10:40 am

      Really you stupid fuck I see 2 white kids you moron. After your stupid comment. How does it make you feel knowing 2/3 of the robbers were white. Next time sit the fuck down somewhere you give white folks a bad name

  • Entourage
    March 24, 2018 at 11:56 am

    Entourage was such a shitty show. That short fat guy was an annoying douche.

  • Alex Reimer.
    March 24, 2018 at 11:23 am

    Buncha pissants. Cant fire
    Me!

    #im-unfireable
    #becauseimlgbtqbernieandphilsqualitycomfortandpricethatsnice

  • Mom’s Basement
    March 24, 2018 at 8:42 am

    He’s the comic relief. Gronk keeps him around for the amusement of all his cool new friends. As long as he keeps jumping on grenades and stays in his lane he might get a couple more years out of this.

  • Clarence E. Mulford
    March 24, 2018 at 8:06 am

    No one has has explained how this crew walked away with weapons locked in a gun safe.

    We can all see that Shayne is obviously one jacked athlete, but throwing a gun safe on his shoulder may be out of the question; even for a he man like him.

    Another story that don’t make sense.

  • ninja turtleboy
    March 24, 2018 at 8:01 am

    i think it’s cool gronk still just chills with his longtime bff. imagine they just stopped being friends cause gronk joined the nfl..?

  • Brad McDevitt
    March 24, 2018 at 7:57 am

    Looks like Bo Dietl, Former NY Detective and frequent guest on Imus radio show

  • Mattapandolphian and proud
    March 24, 2018 at 6:18 am

    Gronk rewards loyalty? Good for him and his buddy. It’s a rare quality, remembering your roots and your supporters.
    This Almeida kid. From Randolph, you say?
    Sir, I am shocked and stunned with disbelief that he could possibly be from such a wonderful and culturally diverse town such as Randolph.
    It’s a sleepy little place where no one has to lock their doors and everyone is your neighbor.
    LOFL

  • fordsnharleys
    tngsucks
    March 24, 2018 at 4:17 am

    If these pics were released to TBS in February when this happened these guys would be in jail by now.

  • Rob Goon
    March 24, 2018 at 12:38 am

    Turtle is the turtle rider!

  • GingyKidd
    GingyKidd
    March 24, 2018 at 12:04 am

    However Gronk wants to spend his money is his choice. He’s got more than enough of it. If he can support his BFF financially in turn for….. his friendship then LUCKY fucking Goon! I totally wouldn’t mind hanging out with that big sexy muscle head all the time. And like the blog says, what these needle dick man bun junkies did was un-American. He was playing the god damn super bowl!!! Gronk can’t make his own kind of justice and risk losing the paychecks. Let this guy tool them up a bit. He ain’t gonna kill anyone.

    The justice system isn’t shit in this state, and most of these losers are from the generation of non-disciplinarian parents. They need a good ass whoopin.

    • 2wEntEe
      March 24, 2018 at 12:28 am

      If I got a multi million dollar contract, you better believe that the people that are loyal to me right now will never have to work another day in their lives.

  • I Call Bullshit
    March 23, 2018 at 11:18 pm

    Huge turtlerider, but you’re making fun of someone who does exactly what you do for a living now?…..okay?

    • R
      March 23, 2018 at 11:47 pm

      Dianne…put the box ‘o’ wine down.

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