All-Star Criminals

Guy Who Taunted Leominster PD About Being On Most Wanted List, Got Arrested, Posted Jail Selfies On Facebook, Is Threatening Us Along With His Cheesehog Girlfriend

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Last week we posted about a bunch of flat-brimmed wangstas preaching about not snitching. As per the norm we had an influx of messages, written like someone hurled a bunch of those magnetic fridge letters and went with what stuck, telling us to take their pictures down because it’s illegal to use them. One of the best messages was a friend who came out to snitch on the “anti-snitching” knuckle dragger named Mark J Leblanc. We featured him, and a couple of his dope comments, here:

35 Year Old Wangstas Maintain Strict No Snitching Code For Chicago Bulls Hat Bandits On Rochester NH PD Facebook Page

I guess we just pick the right commenters to use. Saying something stupid on the Internet has recently become the homing beacon for picking the criminal scum from the herd. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

Turns out this garbage heap has one of the most fantastical criminal backgrounds ever and spends his free time robbing little old ladies for heroin money:


Or having professional pictures taken behind bars:

You’re right. However, most of us can chew food too.

Sweet baby slugrake! A buck twenty in the obligatory money shot!

Commenting on the fine cuisine that the good taxpayers have the pleasure of feeding him when he breaks laws: 

Laughing about how he’s on a Most Wanted list because he’s untouchable on Facebook only to be in jail a couple month later:

And let’s not forget his tweaker-looking girlfriend spending all her time writing him love notes instead of raising her three kids:

Mark, who was none to pleased with us for using his pictures, took a break from his rigorous oral hygiene regiment, to politely ask us to remove his photos. I didn’t recognize his name at first, as I didn’t write the blog he was featured in, but felt like having some fun:

I

In all fairness I really was pooping.

Oh, and when Mark was sick of our fictional desk girl licking her lips at the thought of his delicious dry sockets on her ladybits, his cumdumpster Tanya Cote decided to defend her man against the poor Turtle Receptionist.

Wait…. Is that my second murder threat this week? Jesus. The boss should fire me for causing all this havoc.

This is appetizing. I wonder if she enjoys walking around smelling like a gingivitis scratch and sniff. God, that makes me want to puke just thinking about someone rubbing their gums on my neck. Blegh.

Scream laugh.

Ah yes, another baby-cranking hogbeast teaching her kids that finding a big schmenzer, and not snitching, is the key to happiness. Maybe her spawn will have a pleasant future of being a bartender at Sweaty Betty’s and picking up stray junkies to be play daddy just like momma Tanya did.

On the bright side: At least we Turtles know that there will be plenty of job security in our futures.

 

 

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68 Comment(s)
  • Marie
    April 23, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    I emailed you I hope you received it

  • Myballsyourchin
    January 17, 2017 at 1:59 pm

    Everyone is a badass until, someone gets their head bashed in. Can’t say it wouldn’t be deserved either. Just saying that this is the type of shit that gets people hurt. Some people just don’t give a fuck and THEY WILL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. From what I can tell everyone in here are just keyboard warriors that would call cops in a heart beat if confronted in person about something they should have just stfu about.

    • January 17, 2017 at 3:02 pm

      Isn’t that what this whole thing is about? Snitching? That’s probably why most of your people are in fucking jail and acting like its something to be proud of. Losers.

    • Turd Burglestein
      January 17, 2017 at 6:24 pm

      Oooohhhhhhhh…we have an internet tough guy. Better watch what you say or he’ll use his caps lock key on all of us.

    • True Reality Speaks
      Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies
      January 17, 2017 at 10:14 pm

      You’d be my bitch after 5 minutes, tough guy. Go snitch on your girl’s baby daddies.

  • Mark Leblanc
    January 17, 2017 at 12:07 pm

    I don’t need no teef… to pleasure your beef…

    • Professor M(eth)
      January 17, 2017 at 1:18 pm

      That’s what I keep telling everybody, yet I still have a hard time charging more than $.50 for a blowjob.

  • Humanity?
    January 17, 2017 at 10:29 am

    I regret reading this. It’s trash. To write things like this about anyone is wrong. Your ego boost from publicly humiliating others , makes you no better than them.

  • Fuck youuu
    January 17, 2017 at 7:42 am

    This isn’t right, mark is not a junkie, he does not have fas. You all must have issues with yourselves to shit on someone because he must of told you how it is, and your all butthurt because he speaks the truth. Need some desitin? I think so

    • Cris Gagne
      Wtf
      January 17, 2017 at 9:11 am

      Is not right at the moment , but clearly was , nearly died due to it and clearly says it on his Facebook. So until everyone stops putting their shit on a public forum there will be shit given and names called. Its a fairly simple concept.

  • BobnMic
    January 17, 2017 at 5:10 am

    The real deal on the outside calling cadence…

    • BobnMic Is A Literal Dickhead
      January 17, 2017 at 8:19 am

      Ratta tap tap right on my head.

  • JimB
    January 17, 2017 at 12:50 am

    This is the funniest stuff I’ve read in a long time, thank you so much for the entertainment. Keep at it and expose the trash!

  • MrSmiley
    January 17, 2017 at 12:48 am

    That jail pic is priceless. Bitch took it from the parking lot. Yeaa that’s a tough picture to get champ! Something to be proud of for sure.

    PC fuckin hardoooo

  • DJ Trump
    January 17, 2017 at 12:13 am

    Jenkem kills.

    • BobnMic's Gerbil
      January 17, 2017 at 6:54 am

      But it makes you very stupid first. Just ask my owner. He’s been huffing that shit for years.

      • BobnMic
        January 17, 2017 at 11:25 am

        Wicked FUNNY!

        Ya Ok.

  • BobnMic
    January 16, 2017 at 10:22 pm

    Regarding above high on Smack eyes pic with Marko Polo and a roll of twenties in his hand:

    I’ve never seen anybody drool over a losey 400 bucks before. That could however buy a lot of H so it seems. Plus dope is so cheap these days it’s fucking way to scary.

    Shit – I could easily drop 400 hundred bills down at Smitty’s Tavern at a televised Patriots game on their many big screen Samsungs. Between multiple brewskies, munchies, buying rounds, more munchies, more brewskies, tips well above appropriate – 400 hundred bucks would be gone by the fifth quarter (meaning after game highlights).

    But – It’s all good.

    South STG another gem and I thank you yet again. And Lady Turtle is rocking it large too as well huh? Are the chicks taking over? I fucking love it. WHORAAA!…..

    • happy tuesday
      January 17, 2017 at 8:33 am

      Its not even $400. His thumb is in the middle flipping the bills. Making $200 look like 4. Lamest brag there is.
      All I can think of is Al Bundy lol

      • January 17, 2017 at 10:30 am

        It was like a buck sixty.

        • BobnMic
          January 17, 2017 at 12:08 pm

          AH you guys are right. I did not at first notice the ghetto roll fold. Hahahaha. So much for 400 bucks huh? A buck sixty you say South STG? That seems fair. Damn – that wouldn’t last beyond half time at Smitty’s T.

          Not that Smitty’s is pricey to the contrary. I just show up wearing a large Viking helmet with the big ass horns and a fucking Pewter Stein Beer Mug. With attitude. Not much real talk.

  • National Inquisitor
    January 16, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    Hey Turtleboy there’s a report of a High school freshman who lit off a firecracker in Oxford. Word on the street is he weighs 78 lbs. and wears a Bulls wide brim cap. Sources say he takes selfies and posts them on Facebook. Sounds like the type of story you live for!

    Looking forward to your report.

  • January 16, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    That cote girl,was a hooker in Fitchburg

    • I'm Rick James, bitch!
      January 17, 2017 at 3:29 pm

      How much for half and half? I’m asking for a friend…

  • Adam
    January 16, 2017 at 9:33 pm

    Bunch of bull!!!!! Leave him alone none of you could even imagine going through what he has in his life never mind actually having to!!! It makes me sick that people have to bring up mistakes weather they be true or false accusations doesn’t mean people can’t change for the better like you never made a mistake no one is a saint we all have our flaws and we all pay for what we do at some point so no need in bringing up someone’s demons

    • Jack Mehoff
      January 16, 2017 at 10:01 pm

      It’s “whether” not “weather” and learn some punctuation. Stop making excuses for drug addicts, you are enabling them.

      Cancer is a disease. No one chooses to get it. Smoking meth and turning into a zombie is a choice. Don’t call others out for shaming people who make very bad choices.

      • Grammar Police
        January 17, 2017 at 11:27 am

        9 exclamation points, 0 periods….

    • January 16, 2017 at 10:16 pm

      Fuck off, Adam.

    • BobnMic
      January 16, 2017 at 10:25 pm

      Holy fucknut. One bigass long sentence without as much as one period. You must be a friend of Fiesty the fake… Hahahahaha

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        January 16, 2017 at 11:12 pm

        Still mad I made you feel like a fucking moron 6 blogs ago? How’s that lying working out for you, Worcester Detective aka The man behind helping the family of the fallen Worcester 6.

        Your claims are outrageous. Loved how you pretended to know what you were talking about until lil’ ole’ me ruined it for you, like always!!

        P.S. Fraud – your picture is next to it you toothless junkie.

        • BobnMic
          January 17, 2017 at 12:09 am

          I’m a toothless junkie now? Me? Really Fiesty the Fraud? Spelled wrong? Because you are a fucking idiot nothing?

          SideBar: I am handsome as fuck just for the record. Full head of hair and rather long dirty blonde with a touch of gray, blue eyed, clean shaven, bright white teeth and a laugh that makes people laugh. If you saw me in public your little shit jaw would drop. And of course I would want nothing to do with you because I saw your fugly face picture and are less than impressed on your plain Jane looks with those thin to no lips and crossed eyed brown eyes and obvious fake blonde hair. No fucking thank you. Mut. Bow wow…..

          You did try to make me out to be the idiot in the (so-called) childish debate over a criminal investigation as it relates to interviews in all that is involved in that process. You ended up looking stupid as always and I, an unfortunate fact, did that to you.

          You have nothing but Google searches to rebut my comments with respect to Criminal Law and you fucking know it. Plus all that Google has to offer with regard to stuff like that is never trust worthy. It is generic at best. You have to live and work in that profession in MASSACHUSETTS to get it right. Not some fucking Google search to try and make me look like an asshole and you some sort of a fucking Marcia Clark.

          Give it a fucking rest will you? Do yourself a favor. You will lose with me at every turn if you persist on topics like this.

          • January 17, 2017 at 12:09 am

            Wow, you guys actually gave it a rest for a while. I’m impressed.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            January 17, 2017 at 12:27 am

            Yeah he does this over and over. Goes away for a week then stalks for 2 months. Rinse and repeat.

            He liked it better before I came around. He was able to talk to himself on 7 accounts and no one noticed.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            January 17, 2017 at 12:32 am

            I look nothing like what you described Bobby bitch. Besides the blonde hair, you’re descriptions are quite the opposite.

            Just reading you describe yourself makes my stomach turn. You’re the fatty from the world of warcraft Southpark episode, please don’t lie.

            Go fuck wife before I fist her pussy beyond repair. That old haggy bitch!! I would do it only because it would break your heart!

          • BobnMic
            January 17, 2017 at 2:23 am

            I gave it a rest South STG I did try. I honestly did.

            She will not ever do that however. She is in total love with me in a totally weird fucking way. I could answer an article and comment by simply saying “daylight.” And Fiesty would come back with, “Fuck you faggot it is nighttime.” I then could simply come back as “right.” And she would go into a hissy fit and come back as, “Fuck you faggot it is left or wrong.” “Fuck you and go eat a bag of dicks and go fuck your ugly wife and blah blah blah blah.”

            Ya ok. That is a lawyer speaking right there. Ok.

          • BobnMic's Gaping Anus
            January 17, 2017 at 6:51 am

            Yeah, you gave it a rest all right and then as expected started right back up with the unprovoked attacks again. If you’re going to continue to be the king asshole of turtleboy, then could you at least step up your game in the creativity dept? You’ve been using the same old worn out tired insults and phrases for at least 2 years here and frankly you’re boring the shit out of us.

          • BobnMic
            January 17, 2017 at 12:48 pm

            I’m so glad you speak for everyone in here ^^^. Where would we Turtleriders be without your leadership skills praytell? Where did you get these ideas from? Speaking for everybody I mean with such authority?

            Oh that’s right I almost forgot. Fiesty the fake fucking asshat. She loves to pretend that she represents all Turtleriders in her fucked up stupid rants in her fucked up stupid world. You apparently follow suit.

            Nice job dickhead.

          • BobnMic
            January 17, 2017 at 1:04 pm

            “unprovoked attacks” What? Really? Do you think previous comments by you have somehow magically erased themselves from here? What the fuck color is the sky in your little world?

            Wow……….

    • roddehard
      January 17, 2017 at 12:33 am

      ” and we all pay for what we do at some point so no need in bringing up someone’s demons”

      Um…didn’t ” Mr.Ha ha I’m on the Run ” bring this up first?

    • Ryan
      January 17, 2017 at 1:58 pm

      Punctuation is our friend.

  • LaughingAllTheWay
    January 16, 2017 at 9:26 pm

    Gingivitis scratch and sniff… LMAO..

  • Where's my daddy ?
    January 16, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    Scary, I read it all. Bottom line, lots of government assistance for sure. Nothing changes and no father in sight.

  • Lola
    January 16, 2017 at 9:18 pm

    The messages…omg, I’m crying from laughing so hard!!! Priceless!

  • DJ Trump
    January 16, 2017 at 9:18 pm

    When was the last time he had a AIDS test? Between dirty needles, unprotected prison sex in lockup and turning tricks for dope,
    his T-cell count is looking kinda low.
    …just sayin.

  • Nicetrybitch
    January 16, 2017 at 9:07 pm

    This isn’t even the worst of it. She threatened to kill my son. I wish I could send you everything I have. A baby mind you. She doesn’t have a job, she lives off section 8 and child support. He doesn’t have a job either, and they break up all the time. All. The. Time. So his dick can’t be that big right. She harasses the fathers of her kids to get more money from them and force them out of her kids lives…..but then denies it and calls them when she wants to go party.

  • Just stop
    January 16, 2017 at 8:50 pm

    Love your blog but Christ stop forcing cheesehog. It’s tryhard and not funny and you you’re using it in every goddamn headline for some reason

  • No one
    January 16, 2017 at 8:48 pm

    The back and forth on the messages is absolutely hilarious!!!

  • Joe Shmidlap
    January 16, 2017 at 8:05 pm

    ****flour…… fucking autocorrect

  • Joe Shmidlap
    January 16, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    I bet this slob loves the D stick….and by D stick I mean douching. Seriously….take her out back… hose her off and throw flower in her face.

  • Turd Burglestein
    January 16, 2017 at 7:00 pm

    I think her last name is pronounced cootie. Wouldn’t want to piss her off by not saying it right, would you?

  • Dick Dover
    January 16, 2017 at 6:58 pm

    A-Hey-A-Ma-Ma-Ma …Life in a Northern Town.

  • Girls gone Wild
    January 16, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    Turtletales you can’t go from stories about 19 year old hot drunken sluts to skinny meth head guys. The guy who made the ‘girls gone wild’ didn’t follow it up with ‘scrawny heroin junkies’. Take a note because he’s a fucking millionaire probably partying with babes in Miami and you’re changing poopie diapers in Worcester.

    • True Reality Speaks
      Mirror Mirror
      January 17, 2017 at 9:59 pm

      Actually – I think the Girls Gone Wild guy went to jail and lost all his money in lawsuits. Nice that you look up to a softcore porn hustler, though. Is this the Buffalo Bruises guy?

  • LMAO
    January 16, 2017 at 6:49 pm

    I weep for our future, two white trash scum bags. Lock all your doors and tie everything down when these losers are around!

  • TypicalBecky
    January 16, 2017 at 6:45 pm

    Sorry Tanya- not fooling anyone. Flat-brim’s dick is just as jacked-up and deformed as his face.

    He may have TAKEN a huge dick a time or two…during his time instagram modeling in fucking JAIL.

    Also, she spelled heroin wrong.

  • Shackleford
    January 16, 2017 at 6:37 pm

    These texts may be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on this site. Bravo!

  • lMAO
    January 16, 2017 at 6:33 pm

    Awesome! !!

  • Jonnie Walker
    January 16, 2017 at 6:32 pm

    I hate to say it but I think the end of this blog is near. If TurtleTattleTale starts reporting about every fucktard that violates probation in Worcester county by posting stupid Facebook shit and then demanding justice on their ass it’s going to be hours of reading and trying to comprehend ghetto talk.

    • True Reality Speaks
      Mirror Mirror
      January 17, 2017 at 9:52 pm

      I actually enjoyed this one – and I don’t usually, as a rule. The replies from the “desk girl” were actually pretty good – and the FB moron didn’t even realize she was being mocked/baited.

      Solid B material.

      • True Reality Speaks
        Mirror Mirror
        January 17, 2017 at 9:54 pm

        Clarification: Don’t like the FB-based blogs on nobodies – as a rule.

  • Sloppy
    January 16, 2017 at 6:31 pm

    I’m hoping someone, perhaps with a bit of a medical background, knows the answer to the following:
    Why do so many of these white trash losers have the same facial features? Pointy nose, pointy chin, sunken-in eyes, cheeks caving in to the cheek bones, thin lips.
    It’s obviously the result of something medical, drugs I’d assume: Meth? Crack? Both? Both and no nutrition for years?
    Is there a term for the above-described ‘look’?
    Inquiring minds want to know…

    • It might be
      January 16, 2017 at 7:22 pm
    • Disposable Hero
      January 16, 2017 at 9:27 pm

      Meth suppresses appetite. So your body starts using the fat and muscle in your body to survive. Junkies face will shrink down to bone and cartilage when they are on the ride the snake diet.

    • John Barker
      johnnyb
      January 16, 2017 at 9:45 pm

      Drugs…more important than anything else. No food,shelter,medical etc. Drugs 24/7.

    • BobnMic
      January 16, 2017 at 9:57 pm

      Funny – you just described Fiesty the fake lawyer… LMFAO!!!!!!!!!

    • My wife, used to be my sister
      January 16, 2017 at 11:01 pm

      Inbreeding, most are from former mill towns as a rule.

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