Smiles And Sunshine

Here Are The Final Four In This Year’s Turtleboy Ratchet Madness

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Voting in the Elite 8 of Turtleboy Ratchet Madness is completed, and here are your Final Four ratchets:

 

What a tournament. Last year the Final Four were 1, 2, 6, and 11 seeds. This year the 1 seeds cruised to the Final 4, except for the Burlington Mall Fupaslug, who remarkably was upset in the first round. Meanwhile the Fall River Dirty Dick Trap Queens have been killing everyone since their one vote victor over the 4th seeded Springfield Lickalotapuss and pet Beefalope.

We’ve never seen anything like Didi before. She hasn’t gotten less than 79% in a matchup yet. That’s remarkable. Meanwhile Bibaud and Genduso continue to garner comfortable wins of over 60%.

I don’t like to get involved in these things because we don’t want to influence the voters, but in my opinion the Dirty Dick Trap Queens are by far the most ratchet people we’ve covered in the last year. And they’re easily the most formidable opponent Didi has faced thus far.

Here’s the deal – Clarence Woods Emerson gets out of 30 day Facebook jail on Saturday at midnight. We want to broadcast the winners with a One Shining Moment montage at the beginning of Turtleboy Live. So we’re going to do so on Sunday night at 10 PM. Here’s the link to Clarence’s Facebook page. Make sure to follow him so you can catch the show and follow us without being shadow banned.

Schedule:

Final 4 voting – Wednesday and Thursday.

Championship voting – Friday through Sunday.

Odds:

Didi -400

Bibaud +400

Genduso +500

Trap Queens +800

9 Comment(s)
  • TJB
    April 30, 2018 at 7:22 pm

    As I said before; smellgado wins hands down, but not because she is the definition of the word ni99er. She solicits hundreds and thousands of cash donations, but not to help poor black women….. but to take expensive vacations working people WISH they could afford. Yes, instead of helping in the shelters and feeding the homeless, she spends it all on herself.

    • Gratefulkitten
      May 1, 2018 at 7:29 am

      Yassss!!! She is the DEFINITION OF RACHET AND I WILL SAY IT IN ALL CAPS WITH NO PUNCTUATION BECAUSE I FAILED THIRD GRADE ENGLISH AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM VERY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS BLAH BLAH LOTS OF RACHET SLANG BLAH BLAH

  • Iambettor
    April 30, 2018 at 12:33 pm

    Does the author believe that Biblow just had a tougher matchup last round against the LBB? Odds by voting numbers alone should have the Cocksmith Genduso favored over Uslurper Bibaud. I’m going to own Turtleboy Sports after Genduso wins this thing with these odds! Live will never be @10pm on Sunday when I do..

  • somewhitegirl
    April 30, 2018 at 12:24 pm

    Smelgado, who only wants oxtail smellin pussy, is also stringing along some guy named Desean Jefferson Duncan who just professed that he is in love with her on his fb machine..
    but he deleted it right after. wish I took a screenshot, it was pretty mushy gushy. hes quite smitten and will soon fall flat on his face. he seems like a nice guy, doesn’t spew racial hatred and he has a dick. smelgado is just using you bro

  • Clitty Litter
    April 30, 2018 at 11:45 am

    * Remember that “ratchet” and “ratchtacular” comes from the root word “wretched “ prior to being linguistically ghetto-ized.

    Wait a minute. That doesn’t help AT ALL!

    Ratchetism comes in all forms. Tough call people.

  • 2wEntEe
    April 30, 2018 at 11:21 am

    I am 100% team turtle BUT if you stop giving a shit about DiDi, she’ll probably stop giving a shit about you.

  • XXX
    April 30, 2018 at 11:17 am

    Put this in perspective. Didi is actually the way she is without drugs. She just went to Europe on the dime of emotionally disturbed white lesbians and laughs about it.

    No contest.

    • SCTR
      April 30, 2018 at 12:49 pm

      It amazes me she was able to go to Europe on some white guilt. 

    • 2wEntEe
      May 1, 2018 at 5:17 am

      Haha that just proves how full of shit she is. Why wouldn’t she have gone to Africa if she’s all about the blackness?

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