Smiles And Sunshine

Here Are You Turtleboy Ratchet Madness 2020 Elite 8 


The 2020 Turtleboy Ratchet Madness Elite 8 is decided after the final matchups in the Trap Queen Region:

A dominating victory for Bristol Blarney after struggling to get by Luke Noble. Meanwhile Nikki Evans takes out an all time ratchet in Landon “The Covid Killer” Steele. Here’s the latest Vegas odds to win the whole thing.

Lorrayna and Kylie have yet to be challenged, which means Bitch Tits and Camel Toe Truck Girl have the hardest road to get to the Final 4. The other two matchups are a coin toss. But in Ratchet Madness, anything can happen. Elite 8 starts and begins Monday, followed by the Final 4 on Tuesday and Wednesday, and the Championship Thursday and Friday. See ya then.


38 Comment(s)
  • Blanche
    April 26, 2020 at 10:16 pm

    Can you please get an editor? You can’t spell or use punctuation properly. “Here Are You”? It’s been up for days. Have some pride in what you do.

  • Wrong Side of History
    April 26, 2020 at 8:48 pm

    Hey TB how are you and your fellow cultist “patriots” gonna spin The Orange Moron telling the country to inject bleach? Is it fake news even though it was on live TV. Did an imaginary “fake news” reporter ask a mean question? Do you people a brain? A soul? We are the laughing stock of the entire world because of your hero. Real bang up job. Good stuff

  • free nuggets and meals for front-line workers
    April 26, 2020 at 8:45 pm

    he shared a picture of his nuggets, which he captioned, “Times is [sic] tough so when I heard Wendys was [sic] givin’ out free 4 piece nuggs today I knew I had to hustle. I hit every damn Wendy’s twice within 17 miles across 2 states, it took 5 hours but now we eatin’ free 4 [sic] a week.”

    Wendy’s also has been sharing news of its exceptional team members to its Square Deal Blog, which has been documenting instances of Wendy’s franchisees providing free meals to front-line workers, first responders and people in need.

  • Julie the Jarhead
    April 26, 2020 at 4:04 pm

    I’m on the edge of my seat … not.

  • Mark Berry
    Georgia Madman
    April 26, 2020 at 2:16 pm

    For those losers who say Turtleboy picks on minorities, looks like most of the ratchet candidates are white. But don’t let facts get on the way of your screed.

  • Metro's empty nut pouch
    April 26, 2020 at 11:45 am

    The wife is unhappy with this bracket.

  • King Richards Faire
    April 26, 2020 at 6:38 am

    Smell the magic…

  • The State Took Her Kids
    April 26, 2020 at 12:20 am

    I’m completely torn. Is it a bigger insult for Bristol to win it or to lose it and be forgotten?

    • DudeRanchStripClub
      April 26, 2020 at 5:18 am

      What the fuck kind of question is this?

  • The 14 Words
    April 25, 2020 at 7:38 pm

    We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children

    Because the beauty of the White Aryan woman must not perish from the earth.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    April 25, 2020 at 5:44 pm

    I think Failure Swift is more ratchet than Bristol. I’m surprised she came in 2nd.

  • Saddam
    April 25, 2020 at 5:26 pm

    I got chesna.

    • DudeRanchStripClub
      April 26, 2020 at 5:28 am


  • The Jew flu
    April 25, 2020 at 4:32 pm

    Rabbis need to stop sucking dicks on the 8th day it’s now the Jew flu thanks to Judaism. The little hats are sick fucks.

    • Internet Psycho Whackjob
      April 26, 2020 at 12:09 am

      I mean, you know you’re most likely on multiple government watch lists, right? It’s 100% certain that you’re monitored.

    • This is his whole weekend
      April 26, 2020 at 8:11 am

      No ladies, no people over, just Turtle Boy comment section.

      • Bring out the gimp!
        April 26, 2020 at 8:42 am

        Oh I bet he has more than that going on.

        Like looking at his massive child porn collection!

    • Jew tears
      April 26, 2020 at 5:10 pm

      If you kikes are gonna cry do it safe and remember the gas in your relatives heads are a danger to society. Use your little hats as masks if need be.

      • Stephen Mannas
        April 26, 2020 at 5:37 pm

        Thanks to you and your moms for having my back during this difficult time.

  • Jewmerica
    April 25, 2020 at 4:29 pm

    The decade of the pedojew, even social distancing don’t work. Jew York and the kikes in Jersey are a shithole. Can we get a really big oven and put it in Times Square?

  • Blarney remember why your here
    April 25, 2020 at 10:56 am

    Here’s the problem with the Bristol thing. I sure as fuck don’t want her to win. She will think it’s an actual W for her. I can see it now. Kate going on and on about how she won because Turtle Riders hate her for leaving TBS. And that it has NOTHING to do with who she is as a (disgusting pig) person.

    This is a problem because that’s not why she is winning these. It’s because she rachet AF. Gave up her two BABIES. And kept her two older children. Most likely because the older ones can care for themselves. While the little ones would have needed a mother to help them grow and learn. I mean they had “issues” remember? Obviously she needs to give up her rights! Come on how would she be able to drink fireball and harrass auditors with two little crotchfruits with “issues” (issues brought on by her and her horrible parenting and life choice) running around?!?

    Don’t forget ALCOHOL made her do it!! So sit back and down that next nip Kate! And yes Kate I know youre reading these! Just remember we are voting asked on the shitty things you did while “actively using” and while “spiraling out of control”. Not because you were a fucking creep who literally tried to destroy TBS from the inside out. Well that too actually lol

    And Kate just cause you pulled it together enough to fool some people doesn’t mean you are a normal functioning adult. A person who lost their crotchfruits because of alcohol and drugs wouldn’t go “well I’ve been good for a bit I can start getting smashed and fucking up their lives again”. No they would do the responsible thing and not drink on lives or at all. Ya know since you blame every bad decision on your drinking lol

  • Ron Jeremy's Son
    April 25, 2020 at 9:57 am

    Final 4 prediction:

    Lorrayna v. Jess
    Josh v. Nikki

    I won’t vote for Kylie because I favor local ratchets. To me the finals come down to who is most evil and has, or will, do the most damage. That means Lorrayna v. Nikki for the gold. Nikki for the championship because she basically killed a guy.

    My Dark Horse favorite is Jess. She’s going to put some poor guy in jail. Or maybe worse.

    I’m rooting for Jess for the championship because she’s a freak and tight as hell. I still would with a fake name. I guess I’m a bad person.

  • ballot system needs work
    April 25, 2020 at 9:50 am

    it would be a big help to help to match face, name and story in a short version. One sentence per person. I can only identify 3 of those pics and couple names.

  • Stewart Nod
    April 25, 2020 at 9:32 am

    The Tunaflap has got to be the Cinderella story of this year’s bracket. I’m going to ride with my sweetie as long as she can go.
    Come on, you crazy-a$$ b*tch, you got this!

    • Hugh Mungous
      April 26, 2020 at 9:38 am

      Kudos to you sir, I’m drawn to
      B@tshit crazies like a moth to a zapper Cute and Psychotic is my viagra

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Old Tom Morris
    April 25, 2020 at 7:11 am

    The Elite 8. 7 women and Bitchtits.

    • Pfft
      April 25, 2020 at 8:47 am

      Some food for thought Tom…
      Placement in the tournament is not necessarily indicative of the depravity and misdeeds of these deviants. One could argue that Steele having been beat by Evans and Nobel by Blarney might possibly be the result of most riders being less forgiving if the ne’re-do-well is a women. Either way, all contestants are human garbage.

    • jobrienxxx176
      The Elite Eight
      April 25, 2020 at 8:55 am

      Uh… that’s 8 women. Bitch Tits is no man. With those flapping hanging mammary glands and that voice obviously there’s a lot of estrogen in that body.

  • Trumpy
    April 25, 2020 at 7:11 am

    Quite the conundrum here. It’s obvious he has a hard-on for Bristol to win but it seems his audience disagrees. Does he get his final “vengeance” for his ego or keep his “fans” happy for his pocketbook?

  • Landon Steel is out?
    April 25, 2020 at 6:57 am

    Of course Bristol is going to win.

    I am not even interested anymore because I cannot believe Landon (Stolen Valor) Steele washed out.

    Where is he now, anyway?

    • TortugaNiño
      April 25, 2020 at 8:30 pm

      Still not sure bout all the hoopla surrounding this guy. You would think there was a COMPLETE series on this guy or something.

    April 25, 2020 at 6:13 am

    The ADL was created by B’nai B’rith to defend a famous J£wish pedophile named Leo Frank. He raped and murdered a 13 year old white girl named Mary Phagan and tried to blame it on a black man.

    • hartf811
      April 25, 2020 at 9:01 am

      Who the fuck cares except you?

    • Dude - we get it!
      April 25, 2020 at 10:06 am

      Your not into chicks, just leave the damn children alone before we castrate you.

    • Spike Lee
      April 25, 2020 at 10:24 am

      Enough already.Find a new bit or another site to troll.
      Not even slightly entertaining.

  • Peter O'Leary
    April 25, 2020 at 1:01 am

    Doesn’t matter what the vote. Unc wants Bristol no matter what. His fake settings of the “odds” ha!

  • Mr. Bubba
    April 25, 2020 at 12:47 am

    I am going to be thoroughly disappointed if Bristol Blarney, Abrams or Camel Tow Truck Girl takes the win. That is all.

  • Ace Rothstein
    April 25, 2020 at 12:44 am

    The winner (aka biggest fucking loser) HAS TO BE Josh Abrams aka Bitchtitz. That kid is by far the biggest scumbag out there. Between his criminal record (rape, armed robbery, domestics, etc), his lack of success at life in general in living in his parents basement, not having a car, constantly E-begging, and his voice – he is head and shoulders above all the rest and should take home the trophy (to his mommy’s house, of course)

Comment on this Post


Here Are The Most Popular Worcester Blogs From Turtleboy Sports History
I Am Turtleboy
Jeff Bauman Sends Big F You To Terrorist #2 By Impregnating Fiance