All-Star Criminals

Here’s An Update On The Lakeville Puppy Murderer And It’s Pants Shittingly, Fabulously Delightful

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Waaay back in October we wrote about this fucking asshole of fupasloth nature who shot a Golden Retriever puppy five times because “he was scurred”.

Now, I know what you guys are thinking and I happen to agree. This was obviously a very, very vicious and dangerous pupper.



Simply murderous. How can you not be terrified when looking into the eyes of a killer? Obviously this very dangerous animal needed to be shot 5 times in order to protect this robust man who loves guns (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and killing things (not a huge fan of that). Obviously he had every reason to be scared when he saw this evil killing machine who was totally gonna kill ALL his animals. Don’t be fooled by how his nose was heart shaped, I present, the eyes of a killer:

Fucking run, everybody! He gonna get’cha! Those big paws he hadn’t grown into, floppy ears and cuddles with his buddy were a total ruse to lull you into a false sense of security before he bit your face off and had it for a noon time snack! He only showed belly when he wanted to show you were his enemies ended up.


Look at that smile! He was smiling because he just ate half of Lakeville and was proud of his accomplishment.

OK, of course I’m being a sarcastic asshole and this little good boy was no danger to anyone, at all, ever. Hell, I have a pitbull/mastiff/boxer mix and since we’re only about 10% ratchet we raised him well and dude doesn’t even bark. He’ll run away if a shadow catches him off guard, but it’s not like dogs who are raised right are gonna hurt anyone. And I’d bet my whole life that this doggy was raised right. Look at what his momma posted when he was senselessly put down in vicious fashion:

I’m not tearing up, you are!

Another shitty part of this story was that he thought he was doing the right thing by calling the police after he shot the dog and that if he had to, he had a backhoe to bury the little baby as stated by The Enterprise:

Mark stated that he thought he was doing the right thing by calling us right away,” Joyce wrote. “If he thought he was doing something wrong, he has a back hoe and he would have dug a hole and put the dog in it and nobody would have ever known.””

What the shit kind of maroon do you have to be to think this is a logical turn of events? Why not call the cops prior to shooting the dog? Why shoot the dog 5 times? Are you really that bad of a shot that you needed to fire off that many rounds? The only time I ever see my self firing of more than three shots (one head, two center mass was what my dad taught me) is when I’m at the range and Mr. Turtlette has been wicked bitchy from working so hard. By the way, the least surprising thing about this is that Lakeville is just east of Taunton…

I bring up this story because a turtle rider wanted to know if there was an update on this case and thankfully I can deliver. While it might not be the best outcome, I guess we can all sleep a bit better at night knowing that this good boy doggy killer has to give up his guns:

Via Trashlive :”Nearly a month after shooting his neighbor’s golden retriever, Mark J. Vasseur, of Lakeville, was arraigned in court Thursday.

The Enterprise reports Vasseur, 61, was arraigned in Wareham District Court Thursday on charges of the malicious killing and injury of a domesticated animal.

The story of the shot 1-year-old puppy named Walle was widely shared last month after owner Krissy Dashner posted on Facebook that her beloved golden retriever pup had been shot and killed after getting loose from her backyard in the small Plymouth County town. 

Vasseur told news reporters he shot Walle with his handgun after the dog allegedly bore its teeth and charged at him. Vasseur said he feared the pup would attack his chicken coop. The dog owners, Lakeville residents Dashner and Pat Bates, say Walle was never an aggressive dog.The judge ordered Vasseur to surrender his firearms and license, and to have no contact with Dashner and Bates, reports The Enterprise.

Thank the big guy in the sky that this micropenis of a “man” had to hand over his guns and license, because fuck you buddy! I love my guns. I get to go and shoot them at a specially designated place. Even though I live in NH and can carry openly, I still have them bitches in my trunk in a locked case because I have stupid children (and a husband) that I’ve extensively schooled on why you don’t touch mom’s firearms beyond the “Bitch, you touch my guns and I touch your brain with my fist.” narrative. I’m a responsible gun owner, this guy isn’t. So he doesn’t get to have guns anymore. I feel like he should have done a little bit of jail time, nothing really lengthy but some just to drive the point home. I guess this and the fact that he’s been thoroughly publicly shamed will suffice.

I’m not going to question why there’s a baseball bat at the ready here. Fuck this guy.

Esther Manch on the book.


9 Comment(s)
  • Kevin Fleury
    Richard Cranium
    July 16, 2018 at 10:44 pm

    This guy is a fat cunt and should be in jail for at least half a year. I’ve been in the firearms business for almost 20 years, own a million guns, hunt (mostly unsuccessfully), and can’t even fathom the situation where I would shoot a fucking dog. I got a chipmunk problem and feel sick when I don’t catch them swimming in the bucket so I can dispose of them quickly. I literally feel like shit when I have to fish them out. This guy is fucking piece of shit and I hope bad hit happens to everyone related to him, cuz fuck him. And ya, I got a few dogs…

  • ncfoothillbilly
    July 16, 2018 at 9:52 pm

    The dude is on a fishing boat; thats the reason for the fish bat. Did the life ring and water in the background not give it away?

  • Leonard Washington
    July 16, 2018 at 7:15 am

    I’m a legal gun owner, a dog owner, and a seasoned animal shelter volunteer. I would never, in a thousand years, mix the two. This guy was just waiting for a chance to live out his Dirty Harry fantasy and chose to do so with one of the least aggressive breeds known to man. He’s a pathetic loser. Glad he lost his guns. Justice will likely prevail in the guise of a stroke or massive coronary soon enough. Shit stain.

  • fish bait
    July 15, 2018 at 10:29 pm

    Place a gaffe hook through this tub of lard’s jaw bone and troll him around live at low speed off a cape seal colony or let the queers in providence town rape his ass bloody giving him the aids and everything else. God hates people who hate dogs.

    • 2wEntEe
      July 15, 2018 at 10:43 pm

      You’re a complete idiot.
      This is why:
      1. It is not providence town. It is Provincetown.
      2. Alot of the residents are peaceful homosexuals. They are not AIDs infested rape zombies.

      I can’t speak for God but i can only assume that he doesn’t like people that ejaculate blind hatred.

      • fishing pro
        July 16, 2018 at 8:24 pm

        Not in Road island theres a town on cape cod named providence town and it has lots of queers and gays in it if you don’t think queers are violent then how do you explain wrestling and bodybuilding??? Answerve me that11

        • 2wEntEe
          July 18, 2018 at 12:42 pm

          The Cape Cod town is called Provincetown not Providence or Providence town.
          Like really? You don’t know your own state?

  • MyrtleTheturtle
    July 15, 2018 at 8:44 pm

    Anyone that is too fat to wipe their own ass should not be allowed to own a cut.

  • 2wEntEe
    July 15, 2018 at 8:17 pm

    Not the ideal outcome but that guy was obsessed with guns (as seen on his Facebook posts) and now everybody knows he isn’t allowed to have one.

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