All-Star Criminals

Hobo Houdini Asks To Use Phone At Boynton Restaurant, Steals Receptionist’s Purse On The Way Out

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We’re a little late to the party on this post, but get a load of this Hobo Houdini:

Worcester. You can call it a renaissance if you want, but at the end of the day these gutterslugs are still everywhere.

This appears to be the Boynton, which if you’re not from the Worcester area, you have no idea what you’re missing. I’d have to say it’s the best restaurant in Worcester. The food is unreal, and there’s a reason you have to wait an hour to get a table on a Friday or Saturday night. Junkslops like this scope it out because they know that people who eat at the Boynton are clean, respectable, and unfortunately trusting members of society. They did him a favor by letting him use their phone and he repaid them by stealing the girl’s purse.

But you can’t blame him. He’s got that “disease” that makes him steal people’s purses.

Now, we were gonna do one of those “do you know who this asshole is” posts, and see if anyone recognized this winner:

But evidently the Worcester Police already picked him up, thanks to the power of social media:

We’d love to know his name. I’ll bet you a million dollars he’s got Google trophies galore. Don’t worry though, he’ll get a free lawyer and a judge will let him off with a write of junkies will be junkies. He’ll be back on the streets to drive down your property value and vote for Joe Early in no time.

The bottom line is, don’t trust junkies. You might’ve seen on TV that they’re nice people with hearts of gold who just need love. But at the end of the day they’re just conning you so they can steal your shit when you’re not looking. Junkie 101 stuff really.

6 Comment(s)
  • He lightskinned
    September 26, 2018 at 10:54 pm

    Good grief – How cold was it yesterday in Worcester? Guy looks like he’s going to hike Wachusett in November.

  • One Way Ticket Back To Dominican Republic
    September 26, 2018 at 10:40 am

    5 will get you 10 he’s Hispanic.

    Unless ICE is dismantled, the Democratic Party has no chance. That’s why they have a hard-on for getting rid of ICE.

  • Ted Baxter
    September 26, 2018 at 9:22 am

    That is a good place. Glad for her they caught him. Hope she gets justice.

  • Anonymousbytrade
    September 26, 2018 at 7:59 am

    99% sure it’s Michael Lobo, who’s the “well dressed panhandler” you’ve written articles on before.

  • Fuck supply and demand both
    September 26, 2018 at 1:41 am

    They can’t steal with broken fingers and arms. They can’t run off with damaged knees and ankles.
    I know you can’t cure them but you can alleviate the symptoms.
    Had two friends lose their kids to the shit just yesterday.
    Flay the skin off of the heroin dealers and roll them into a salt pile.

    • Acid Bath
      September 26, 2018 at 11:38 am

      I like how you think.

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