Holden Ratchet Mom Who Starts Fights With Kids And Ancestors Came Here On The Titanic, Goes Full Racist, Hires Attorney Dick N. Vulva For Lawsuit Vs. Turtleboy

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Looks like Attorney Dick N. Vulva is about to pound Turtleboy with another stiff lawsuit from Celia Mcaulife – the Holden “mother” ex-con who starts fights with high school kids on Facebook.

After she was the topic of our Facebook Live show on Friday night, Celia let loose on our Facebook page. She wanted to clear the air and set the record straight, and this is how she chose to do so.

Well, there goes my appetite until Tuesday.

Some warned this ratchet mountaineer that it would be unwise to poke the turtle. She disagreed.

Because people who know people who own the Pennywise, poke whoever they please.

Then when Gupta Patel started chiming in, Celia went full racist.

But it’s OK, because she’s totally not racist. Gupta and people like him are all just a bunch of “Habib names” whose families didn’t come over here on the Titanic.

Yes, you read that correctly. Her ancestors migrated here on the most famous cruise shipwreck in world history. Fantastic. Guess that means her great grandfather was this guy:

It was at this point where Celia began to talk about legal remedies:

It was only a matter of time until several turtle riders directed her to the greatest Internet lawyer in American history:

Game. Over.

When Dick N. Vulva gets in there and starts going to work, Turtleboy can’t walk for days afterwards. The guy really knows how to give it to us!!

Then he told her who Turtleboy REALLY is:

Ballgame!! The jig is up folks – Mike LaTauris is the primary writer for Turtleboy Sports. And you’ve all seen what happens when you stimulate him too much. When Mike LaTauris and Dick N. Vulva go head to head it’s quite the climax.

Now that she’s retained counsel, Celia is extremely confident when dealing with turtle riders. She knows she has the Dick N. Vulva card, and she’s not afraid to use it.

And as she so confidently pointed out, everyone got REAL quiet once they found out who she was represented by:

Check and mate!! Thank you Attorney Richard N. Vulva Esq!!

She also isn’t a fan of desk girl, because as usual desk girl changed the conversation when her daughter messaged and started rambling on about her latest gyno appointment:

Finally Mike and Sandy LaTaurus had enough. They signed into the Turtleboy Sports Facebook page and BEGGED for mercy, for the sake of their children.

But Dick N. Vulva doesn’t stop hammering away until his client is smiling and satisfied. All I know is, when the Dick N. Vulva lawsuit finally comes, there’s gonna be a huge load of trouble cumming right at Turtleboy!! Please, have mercy on us counselor!!

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