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A few months back we published this blog about about a Cambridge fupasloth couple who refused to rehome their pets even though they chose to be unemployed and live on the streets.
And despite being morbidly obese they were starving, and thus constantly made GoFundMe pages begging for people to pay for their hotel rooms….
Or this, one begging people for plane tickets to Germany so they could go to college there and learn how to sell their craptacular street “art.”
She also whines that she can’t get insurance to pay for her gender transition surgery so she join the banana express….
Their names were Blake Loren Newton and Justin Newton.
I say “were” because they’ve apparently both “transitioned,” and changed their names, so now he’s the chick and she’s the dude. Justin is now Gareth Robert Newton-Blake, and Loren Blake Newton is now Andrew Jonathan Blake-Newton.
This is all perfectly logical. And if you think any of this is weird, or that they might have some sort of mental illness, congratulations, you are a bigot who is no longer welcomed on Twitter or Facebook.
Well, almost nine months later they’re shockingly still both unemployed, collecting from the taxpayers and whining about how the government isn’t doing enough for them:
Just to review:
- They’ve been living in storage unit in Vermont for a month
- She (the one with the vagina) got an alert on her $700 phone that she needed to fill out some forms to keep getting food stamps
- Her husband’s food stamps are different from hers because they were talking about breaking up and finding new morbidly obese nonbinary homeless fupasloths to mate with
- They got $400 worth of food stamps on an undeclared day
- He received $675 in SSI, despite being able to work while refusing to even consider getting a job
- Despite this, he still was applying for more food stamps
- She only got $211 in food stamps because their account was “under review” which upset her because she is clearly dying of hunger
- She had to be back by September 7th to sign a document in order to get more food stamps, but 3 days notice was not enough time for her to bust out the forklift and get back to Massachusetts for free shit
- Because of this their account was closed and they got no food stamps
- Charlie Baker and Jay Gonzalez aren’t doing enough to “fix” the fact that two adults who refuse to work were too lazy to fill out a form that would get them more free food stamps
- Now you should give them more money because the government isn’t giving them enough free shit
- They still collect food stamps under their old names, which might be transphobic
What a life. This is why I go to work every day – so I can feed Hansel and Grundle and pay for their healthcare. Remember though, food stamps were not supposed to be a way of life. They were supposed to be a way to help people who are struggling not starve to death while they got their life back together. It’s also supposed to be for single mothers and the elderly, not two helium hemorrhoids in their early 30’s.
Oh, and with the food stamps they evidently eat out at Bertucci’s once a week, and since she’s “incontinent” (too slow to waddle to the bathroom before soiling herself) she believes that she is allowed to dump in their bathrooms whenever they please, even when they are not dining:
The nerve of this guy. So she was in the bathroom for an hour dropping jumbo sized cadbury eggs while using their free wifi to share Occupy Democrats memes on Facebook. She has a RIGHT to destroy a bathroom that people who are actually paying them to eat would like to use.
Oh, and she once had a panic attack from being misgendered:
This is the kind of person we should be taking seriously when they demand we use their chosen pronouns.