All-Star Criminals

Hoodbunny From The Mass Ave Breakfast Brawl Killed Her Own Cousin Who Tried To Stop Her From Driving Drunk – Free My Boi Patrol Invades Turtleboy

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Yesterday we blogged about the Mass Ave Breakfast Brawl that resulted in one woman being dragged from a car and hit by a taxi.

Dorchester Hoodbunny, Who Got In Brawl Over Breakfast, Dragged Victim With Her Car, Has A Lengthy History of Ratchet Street Fights And Is Everything You Thought She Would Be

I’m sad to report that the girl who was dragged passed away last night. Her name was Cusandra Webb.  

It turns out that she and Brianna Smith, the hood bunny she was fighting with, were actually cousins. Here is a picture of the two of them in better times: 

But, while her family mourns, the “free my Boi” patrol has invaded Turtleboy. 

Actually, she has a lot of time now because she’s going to jail. She won’t have a career anymore because she’s going to jail. She won’t be raising her daughter because, you guessed it, she’s going to jail.

Also there is only one side: The truth. Turtleboy dishes it out. Welcome to our blog.

Apparently the Po-leece got it all wrong, we are racist, and South Shore Turtle Girl is a dick for making fun of First 48 memorial t-shirts.

Turns out Brianna was shitfaced after a night of clubbing and her cousin tried to stop her from driving intoxicated. Somehow, Cusandra got tangled in the door and she was dragged until a taxi cab hit her.

But like I said yesterday, there is a massive history of Brianna fighting people, threading to fight people, and even her friends make jokes about how she’s been doing this all her fucking life!

So the Free My Boi patrol is making excuses that just because she was shitfaced she should be excused.

Well, if this is what she is like sober I’m sure she’s a peach after a bottle of henny:
So, explain to me this shit: Christina, if that is your real name, go get educated. You know why you’re sitting around defending this fool? Because you don’t have a job. 

Ghetto Tit Tat while looking like a toe. Please. Your writing looks like someone ate a bunch of alphabet soup and then git the squirts.

Next up, we have Keah Craig: 

Tit tat right above her scrambled egg titties. She’s got the real facts:

Yeah, she was asleep,’in sure all those witnesses are just making shit up as they go along.

Next up is my favorite. Bea Allen decided to go all over Fox 25 comment section and be nasty to anyone who commented on her cousin’s story. She looks like an ogre and thinks classy is when you wear a hot pink bra with your Sunday blouse. Pro Tip:  If you put on a skin-tight denim dress and you end up looking like the lowercase G from Sesame Street. Change.

OH! Guess what? TIT TAT. 

Oh, but it kept going on the TBS website! These are my favorites.

Yes, I want to become a real journalist and get paid $25K a year to be stuck reporting Selectman meetings from the 75 towns I’m covering? Pass. 

South Shore Turtlegirl don’t smoke the devil’s lettuce.

This chick below is the the lone voice of reason in a field of ratchet. She is actually holding the Hood Bunny accountable for her actions and telling all those people shitting on the reporters that they should be blaming their cousin. Bravo! 

This next one had me in stitches. EVERYONE from the hood has those ghetto memorial t-shirts! This chick has three! THREE! Thank you for proving my point. 

Yeah. This is clearly my “funky ass opinion.”

Iron on – Check.

Photoshop – Check.

Airbrush – Check.

It’s Pinterest for Roxbury.

Maybe instead of arguing online you should start a GoFundMe for her legal defense fund. Just sayin.

59 Comment(s)
  • Neicy
    February 27, 2017 at 9:00 am

    Webb friend created this blog, she in picture above in pink. She edited this blog 6 days ago. Your are fucked up

  • TheTruthHurts
    February 21, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    So drunk Brianna was trying to park the car? In the middle of a dangerous street where cars are passing?
    The excuses for Brianna are ridiculous. Just own up to her mistakes…period. If they weren’t drunk as shit they would have save this girl. Pull her to safety.

  • Brianna's best friend
    February 21, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    You are the stupidest most miserable bitch I have ever seen on the internet hiding behind a blog. Brianna was only trying to prevent anyone from getting hurt by parking her cousins car and had plans for everyone to take a taxi. You are the scum of the earth to do this to a grieving family and this website is your only life clearly. U call using the Facebook search button investigating? Lol you are stupider than I thought. Reveal yourself turtle bitch u probably look like one.

    • February 21, 2017 at 6:09 pm

      Tit tat toe.

    • Shaquinta Maloshba
      February 21, 2017 at 6:46 pm

      She din do nuffin… The cab killed her

  • Hughbo Mont
    February 21, 2017 at 6:24 am

    This is Massachusetts. No way she will be going to jail.

  • Shitheadra
    February 20, 2017 at 10:52 pm


    • Kerri Bishop
      February 21, 2017 at 1:49 am

      OMG I was just going to type this exact same comment… WEIRD!!! They need to start teaching HSL (Hoodrat as a second language) so I can understand these idiots!

  • Lola Bunny
    February 20, 2017 at 9:01 pm

    “Blame it on the booze
    Got you feeling loose
    Blame it on ‘tron
    Got you in the zone
    Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol”

  • Dorchester John
    February 20, 2017 at 8:18 pm

    This is a vile, hateful shithole you’ve built for yourself on the internet.

    You make the world worse.

    • BobnMic
      February 20, 2017 at 8:32 pm

      Well, what you done lately to be helpful homeboy?

    • whatevuh
      February 20, 2017 at 9:11 pm

      John, you live in a shithole, best you don’t comment

    • Lt Dan
      February 20, 2017 at 9:18 pm

      And you don’t make any difference at all

    • Kerri Bishop
      February 21, 2017 at 1:46 am

      yes, this blog makes the world worse… not hood rats killing their own kin by brutally dragging them down a street until they slam into a taxi cab… it’s definitely turtleboy making the world a terrible place… definitely! douche!

      BTW when did Y’all become acceptable to use north of Maryland???

  • Darkee
    February 20, 2017 at 7:48 pm

    working on her masters degree? that’s racist!

  • Fly on the wall!!!
    February 20, 2017 at 7:29 pm

    How the hell do all these hoodrats afford Tat’s????

    • whatevuh
      February 20, 2017 at 7:53 pm

      EBT Cash

  • New Edition
    February 20, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    We knew their Mamas from the ‘bury long ago.

  • whatevuh
    February 20, 2017 at 7:10 pm

    And they wonder why they have the reputation they do . . . . they earned it and continue to do so on a daily basis. It isn’t racist, it is reality. Early 20’s and 3 degree’s already huh? Anybody buying that bullshit? Not me babe . . . . Associates degree in hoodrat isn’t worth much

    • Steve
      February 20, 2017 at 8:08 pm

      You know you ghetto when you count your GED as a “degree”

  • 1776
    February 20, 2017 at 6:56 pm


  • The Executioner
    February 20, 2017 at 6:44 pm

    You know Black Lies Matter so stop the slamming of the hoodrats becuz this is obviously the future of monkeykind. Glad I’ll be dead soon before Planet f the Apes

  • ImNewHere
    February 20, 2017 at 6:41 pm

    *stands and starts slow clap


  • whatevuh
    Dick Hertz from Holden
    February 20, 2017 at 6:03 pm

    How did all these free my boi people get all these facts before anyone else? Me thinks they are making it all up, since they weren’t there and the offender is in fucking jail right now, just sayin’ Now STFU already go get another tit tat

  • whatevuh
    February 20, 2017 at 5:56 pm

    Hoodrats, gangsta wannabe’s, welfare trash, I call it what it is . . . if this is the only way forward with these gutterslugs there is only one conclusion, total and utter failures . . . .

  • CrackBaby
    February 20, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    When I see tats like those the first thing I think of is classy.
    This is such a feel good story, welfare trash killing each other and saving the taxpayers money.

  • ZephyrCat
    February 20, 2017 at 5:16 pm

    Third, nobody else has shirts made to celebrate their Darwin Award Winners! (Dear God, I’m sure they’ll never even get that reference!). Again, if I could go back in time to shoot all those fucking plantation owners who left us with this shit mess! 150 goddamn years & you still haven’t figured out how to be civilized. Jesus, I’ve been to Japan and they’ve gotten over something that happened 75 years ago! Again, the past is wonderful because it never changes. You can ALWAYS blame slavery and call every white person who calls you out for your shit as being racist!

    • February 20, 2017 at 5:27 pm

      Cat, no dropping the N word.

      • ZephyrCat
        February 20, 2017 at 5:43 pm

        I did’t. The ‘y’ at the end is no different than the ‘a’ at the end. 🙂 Just trying to be cleverer. But nice to finally get a “hey” from you! Good eyes.

        • Turd Burglestein
          February 20, 2017 at 5:55 pm

          Yeah, well you’re about as clever as a bag of shit covered dicks bob.

          • ZephyrCat
            February 20, 2017 at 6:04 pm

            I didn’t think I was that smart. But I’m still smarter than you, asshole & 1/2, since you still think I’m someone else. I guess it’s amusing….stupid people are always amusing. Why don’t you go back to recording video of your pills? You seem to be good at that.

          • BobnMic
            February 20, 2017 at 8:31 pm

            This exchange is hilarious. ZephyrCat – You are mowing them down girl one by one. I could learn a thing or two from you. 🙂

          • ZephyrCat
            February 20, 2017 at 8:34 pm

            Stop talking to yourself Sir Psycho!

          • BobnMic
            February 20, 2017 at 8:36 pm

            Ummm ok?

          • BobnMic
            February 20, 2017 at 8:38 pm

            Nice try Teflon. Wrong again. HAHAHAHA!

        • BobnMic
          February 21, 2017 at 6:54 am

          Hey ZephyrCat, it’s obvious that the whole world is against us, so we should team up together so you can help me take down Tredge’s cocaine empire. Once we’ve eliminated his influence around here, you and I will be free to rule the Turtleboy Universe together…..with you at my side. I sure could use some extra help with the tunnelling and it would be nice to have a partner who could help me out when I get stuck in a certain situation like shown here. So whatcha say my gentle breezey love kitten? You want to move in together?

      • BobnMic
        February 21, 2017 at 2:06 am

        Hey South STG – Stop fucking with people that agree with me in here and siding and coddling with my fucking enemies. in. here. Meaning Turd and fucking Fiesty the fuck face fraud.

        Look – Want to keep me on board? Then stop your shit right the fuck now. I have had your back from the get go so long as you do NOT stab me in mine.

        Who stood up for you when you first started entering articles in here? Umm I dunno. Could it have been me by chance? Yes it fucking was so do not forget that and I do respect you so just do not lose your composure please for the love of God.

        I understand the whole get along with everybody thing. I do. I really do. I tried it – It don’t work. But when you compliment one side of an argument you insult the other then that is when you need to realize and divorce yourself from said argument.

        Just my take. I am sorry for the harsh words. I still think you are an awesome contributor to TBS.

        And of course – Rock on with your bad self…..

        • BobnPaul's Chat Shack
          February 21, 2017 at 6:12 am

          This whole post reeks of narcissism! Could it be that SSTG is telling a poster to knock off the use of a blatantly racist term because she is trying to protect the reputation of the blog?

          Nope, can’t be that, because it’s all about Bob all the time!

          Go to sleep, you pasty fucking troll, and let the day shift get the job done!

        • BobnMic
          February 21, 2017 at 6:47 am

          In other words, I once gave you a compliment so you owe your entire Turtleboy career to me. Had it not been for me personally endorsing your articles, why you’d have been fired a long time ago and probably having to work for T&G. So remember who’s running the show here. But if you really want to get back in my good graces, you’ll have me on the next Turtleboy Live. You guys owe me at least that much.

          • Terrance
            February 21, 2017 at 12:28 pm

            Knock it off Hazelhurst.

          • ItsOver
            February 21, 2017 at 12:49 pm

            I agree with Terrence. Best to just drop it and leave the comments section entirely. The “Name Drop” is just the tip…
            Oh…and if your other Aliases really aren’t you? I suggest you get them under control because we have no other choice but to assume they are you and drop more info accordingly. Seriously…you don’t want that info dropped, Robert.

        • Turd Burglestein
          February 21, 2017 at 6:59 am

          Hey bobbie, STFU and go to hell.

          ……..(‘(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)
          ……….”…………. _.·´

          From Everybody

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            February 22, 2017 at 12:05 am

            Look who it is…………..Where the HELL have you been Reddog? LOL

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          February 21, 2017 at 8:34 am

          There he goes folks!!!! I asked him to stop berating people here 8 months ago and he said the same thing about sticking up for me!! Too bad the 3 accounts “bothering” me back then were all Bibs accounts so he can swoop in like a retarded fickingg superman and “stick up for me.” Look… 8 months later he still fucking stalks me.

          Complete and utter fucking psychopath. Someone needs to cock slap his fucking face already.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            February 21, 2017 at 8:41 am

            Correction …. IT’S BEEN 10 MONTHS!! Almost one fucking year and your dick is still soft from being turned down.

            I tried to do it nicely too so you wouldn’t turn into a stalking cock sucker but that didn’t work!

          • BobnMic
            February 21, 2017 at 8:55 am

            You’re going to need an army of cocks to slap my face. I’ve taken a triple slap followed up by a triple teabagging and didn’t even blink. I will conquer any cock that dares rise up and slap me. A good tongue lashing is what the cock that dareth to riseth upeth willeth experienceeth.

            I’m such a literary genius.

          • BobnMic
            February 21, 2017 at 8:57 am

            I stawk the cawk.

            Just call me Cockadile Dundee dee dee because I’m always down under.

          • Reddog
            February 21, 2017 at 11:52 pm

            It is exhausting. I’m hardly here any more. Sadness.

        • February 21, 2017 at 9:34 am

          I actually had to check to see if this was really you. Now that I’ve see that it is….

          Don’t you ever, and I mean EVER, talk to me like that again or I will ban your ass faster than you can type “Feisty.” You got it? Under no circumstances are you in any position to reprimand me for asking Zeph to not use a terrible term. It’s my job to protect the integrity of the blog. I worked my ass off the get the approval of damn-near everyone and all that criticism actually helped me hone my style here.

          Now, this is where you type out a really long-winded apology or I start deleting everything you’ve ever written here and flag you as a spam bot. Don’t fuck with me.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            February 21, 2017 at 10:09 am

            Oh my God I just rubbed my nipples for 5 minutes straight!!!!!

          • BobnMic
            February 22, 2017 at 12:27 am

            I hope this was not directed toward me. If so you only read the first part and not the last. Do me the honor and read it all as I do with your work. And DO NOT threaten me if that was directed toward me. Fiesty and Turd created this monster. It is up us reasonable people to figure it all out.

          • BobnMic
            February 22, 2017 at 11:28 am

            “Don’t you ever, and I mean EVER, talk to me like that again or I will ban your ass faster than you can type “Feisty.” You got it?”

            This statement however I cannot get over. As much as I try and admit my faults I cannot in the slightest bit get over this display of self-absorbed and frankly increased narcissistic demeanor as you progress in here as a writer. And a good writer at that I have always said.

            I just don’t do threats very well that’s all. And seriously – Fuck you for that one.

            The problem is that it is going or getting to your head. For you to say that above dumb ass shit to me is proof positive. I apologized to you. And for you to not do same will speak volumes on who you are and where you are coming from. And stupid dumb ass me for overestimating you.

            Look – Love Fiesty and Turd all you want. Who in the flying fuck cares. I just thought you to be of higher standards that’s all. But whatever. Things in here get weird. It happens.

          • February 22, 2017 at 11:56 am

            Yeah Bob, I’m so full of myself that I took insult to some whack job ordering me around and taking credit for all my hard work. I have a picture of you at my desk and I pretend that you’re telling me what to do while I’m writing. Thank you.

            Congratulations on finally snapping. This is the last comment of yours that I will allow on my work. I’ll delete the rest of them from now on so that people who actually respect me can have a chance without you flipping your shit over some nonsensical reason. You’re all done here.

  • ZephyrCat
    February 20, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    Second, Lashonda ( why do you black folks have such fucked up names?!?!), learn to fucking speak. Dat’s right, I ain’t havin dat shit! Y’all get you shit correct! MmmmmHmmmm, dats right! Y’all fuckin wit da wrong niggys, ya hear!
    Dear God! And white kids want to emulate this shit!

    • Turd Burglestein
      February 20, 2017 at 5:53 pm

      Fuck outta here with your racist shit bob. That’s not even right you asshole.

      • ZephyrCat
        February 20, 2017 at 6:45 pm

        HAhahahahahahahaha. Right! You! The agent of all that’s moral. Why don’t you post the video of your feminine handful of Oxycontin 80’s, Buffalo Bill. Oh man, I gotta go rub one out you got me laughing so hard. Hey, there’s an idea….why don’t you do that auto-erotic asphyxiation? I know your dick usually runs limp but that might help you.

        • BobnMic Fact Checker
          February 20, 2017 at 7:57 pm

          How big of a asshole can you be, Bob? You know why Turd has the oxys (prescription). You even were nice enough to make fun of him by describing him as “gurgling in a wheelchair”. If this really isn’t Bob, that’s the guy you’ve teamed with! Good fucking luck with that!

          • ZephyrCat
            February 20, 2017 at 8:17 pm


  • ZephyrCat
    February 20, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    First, why do seriously ugly people feel the need to take so many photos of themselves? Are they that deluded? Or do they think magic happens when they capture their image? Put the fucking phones down…you’re ugly as fucking sin!!!

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