All-Star Criminals

Hull Cool Mom Drives Crotch Fruits To Steal Wreaths From Norwell Garden Center, Only Returns Items After Threat Of Arrest But Don’t Apologize

 

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Patriot Ledge

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Three people who stole holiday plants from That Bloomin’ Place in Norwell might be making Santa’s naughty list this year, but the store’s manager said she wants to give them a chance to make it right. Courtney Young posted a security video on the store’s Facebook page of what appears to be three young people stealing four or five Christmas Kissing Balls and two potted arrangements from the store at about 11 p.m. Friday. The hanging plants are large decorative bunches of holly and evergreen leaves in ball shapes. The store lost about $160 worth of plants.

“When you steal from your local small businesses, you’re stealing from your own community. When people steal like this, it forces us not to be able to help and donate to local events and charities as we normally do,” Young wrote on Facebook. “We take pride in being able to help our community and local events with raffle items, presentation items and any way we can, when we can. But if this keeps happening we no longer will be able to, which just breaks our hearts. … If you recognize or know who they might be, just tell them to bring the stuff back, so we can continue to give back to local events and provide fair pricing to our patrons.”

When reached by phone Sunday, Young said she didn’t call the police and doesn’t want to press charges. The store just wants the plants back.

“They look like young kids, and we know people make mistakes when they are young,” Young said. “We want to give people the opportunity to give the plants back. 

So these look like a bunch of shithead kids doing shithead things. For that reason That Bloomin Place decided to play nice and give them a chance to do the “right thing” by turning in the plants, if not they’d go to the cops. This video was shared and viewed over 100,000 times, so it was inevitable that they woud get caught. When you have to choose between returning the shit you stole or getting arrested, you’re not doing the “right thing” by returning what you stole. You’re doing what’s in your best interest – avoiding a charge. Especially when they make an announcement saying they know who you are.

Then like clockwork they gutlessly brought the stolen Christmas stuff back, but didn’t apologize.

So basically they’re not going to publicly shame these douchebags, which is fine. Turtleboy will not be so kind. Meet Jennifer Poor from Hull.

And yes, her last name is literally Poor. The jokes write themselves.

She’s one of those “cool moms” who gives her crotch fruits and their friend a ride to a locally owned business to rob it in the middle of the night. And yes, those are her poon polyps Andrew and Skyler in the video. The glasses are hard to miss.

Andrew is still in high school, and Skyler turned 18 in February. They’re besties.

Any mother who refers to their daughter as their “best friend” is really just trying to live vicariously through them. The raw dog fairy didn’t give you a talking splooge trophy so you could have another friend. Kids need to structure, discipline, and guidance. If they don’t, then their chances of ending up on Turtleboy drastically increase. The only thing worse than appearing on Turtleboy is having crotch fruit co-ratchets with you. I mean, seriously?

If you need an explanation for why that’s wrong at 15, then you’re probably gonna end up on here too.

Jennifer is what most normal kids would refer to as an “embarrassment.” She posts ironic inspirational quotes on Facebook all hours of the day, and constantly incorporates her co-conspirator children in them.

I guess she wants her daughter to be a ratchet getaway driver who robs small businesses.

The only thing you got perfectly right is the stench of failure.

She tried to teach them about “honesty” by stealing from local businesses, and only attempting to make things right days later after it was clear they’d all be arrested.

Yea, educate them about the value of things, not the price. Those pesky price tags on the wreaths they stole ain’t nothing but a number.

This one’s accurate.

Skyler’s future will most definitely be very similar to Mom’s.

Then again, maybe she just “did what needs to get done.”

Because they wanted shit, but they just didn’t feel like paying for it.

This was my personal favorite.

Yea, what better way to end generational fuckery than by being your crotch fruit’s getaway driver?

She also posts shit like this.

Yea this is definitely a non-trashy person would share with the world on Facebook. Thanks for dragging the whole world into the soap opera you call life.

First of all, any guy who tells you that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to them has probably been in jail for a significant portion of his life. Because you’re one step up from a Kyle Kennedy handjob. Secondly, maybe next time don’t date a grown man who wears flat brimmed hats.

It will drastically increase the chances of your kids referring to him as “weekend Dad.”

The most hypocritical part about this is that she knows what it’s like to be victimized, because 10 years ago she got hit by some shithead with a buttload of driving offenses and he got off with basically no punishment. Her victim impact statement was all the more hilarious knowing what she’s done now.

1:11 – At least I deserve to be able to tell my children that when someone does something wrong to another human being they are to be punished. 

Yes, they should be punished. Which is why you should turn yourself in instead of having your kids drop off the shit they stole in the middle of the night without so much as an apology. And no, your kid’s failures and suspension in school weren’t because of your accident. It’s because you wanted to be the cool mom, and cool moms don’t punish their kids, and when you don’t punish your kids they turn out to be disrespectful brats who end up on Turtleboy.

 

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59 Comment(s)
  • Turd Reversalist
    December 4, 2019 at 12:10 am

    Mother and daughter both need and deserve a punitive pounding of the poopchute.
    Mom gets it first, while she tonguepunches her best buddy daughter’s crinkle stinkle in preparation for the rough administration of the Rod of Justice.
    As a professional in such matters, I’d normally bill it out at double time but this is the holiday season, so I will only look for the single rate.

    *Side note, I have a thing for Hull Sluts. There’s something special about them that I can’t quite identify.

  • Some of you have ADHD or some other disorder
    December 3, 2019 at 11:58 pm

    Those of you going on about the daughter being 15 need to work on your reading and comprehension.
    She was 15 in that backpage ad looking shot of her in a black dress.
    The mother also posted a happy 18th birthday message to her.
    That means she is now 18, NOT 15.
    Fahken brilliant…

  • Startled Pancake
    December 3, 2019 at 9:26 pm

    Repeal the 19th.

  • Thingsthatmakeyougohmmmm
    December 3, 2019 at 12:56 pm

    I’ve read this twice and don’t see anything except TB’s writing that indicates this admittedly trashy mom drove her kids to steal. So what’s the deal, TB? Did you make assumptions or leave out how you put it together?

  • Silencio DoGood
    December 3, 2019 at 1:56 am

    she’s a Klingon, hanging from a dyed blond hair from my dog’s asshole, a piece of shit dangling before the eyes of people who wipe and followed out of that sphincter by her malformed children. Giving birth at 14 to have a friend, because everyone else knows you’re a thief.

  • Muddy boobs
    December 2, 2019 at 7:35 pm

    Which ones the 150lb sack inside a 100lb sack?

  • Single like a Pringle and ready to mingle
    December 2, 2019 at 7:31 pm

    How much you want to bet she is the mom all the friends are gonna be banging if they already aren’t.

  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    December 2, 2019 at 6:48 pm

    Casual Observation:

    I’d like to fuck the mom while daughter and daddy film.

  • Little black dress
    December 2, 2019 at 6:12 pm

    I feel bad making fun of a 15 yr olds body. She is still just a child. But for her mother to allow her to wear that black dress, with her underarm fat bulging through and half her stomach hanging out the side cut is a shame. If you have eyeballs you know that dress was not right for her.

  • Poor Grinch
    December 2, 2019 at 5:45 pm

    The family that steals together, stays together.

  • Lipstick Hippie
    December 2, 2019 at 5:44 pm

    Skyla Jade should have stolen a dress that fits.

  • porch pirate scumbags
    December 2, 2019 at 3:37 pm

    These scumbags steal packages also.

  • JJ
    December 2, 2019 at 3:09 pm

    Bitch if you wanted a Christmas wreath or kissing balls, you could have asked the local tree shop for their cuts and made them your self! This is the reason why prices are the way they are for most goods. Its because people like you who steal shit cause the price to go up on goods. maybe if you stopped stealing shit then they wouldn’t mark prices up and you could afford it.

    You’re a pig, your daughter is a pig and your son looks like you let him discover tumbler then left him at the pride parade a few years back!

    And for the love of god, would you woman over the age of 20 stop wearing them bootleg ass bearpaws, fuggs, uggs etc. You look like a ratchet no matter where youre from or how much money you make! Chicks over 20 who wear those stupid boots are the equivalent of dudes who wear flat brimmed bull hats. trash ass people the lot of em!

  • Your Sister AKA PorkChop
    December 2, 2019 at 2:52 pm

    Andrew is in transition and I am so proud to call him my sister

  • Randal Patrick McMurphy
    December 2, 2019 at 2:39 pm

    You see your honor she was 15 going on 30.

  • Jenn Is Poor
    December 2, 2019 at 2:34 pm

    I taught my kids to be strong especially on Black Friday. They may not know the price of the item but they know the value of the 5 finger discount.

  • Homey D. Clown
    December 2, 2019 at 2:28 pm

    She lets her then 15 year old dress like that, with her tits popping out of that dress?

    Surprised she’s not a grandmother yet; must be a local Planned Parenthood nearby.

  • Judge dread
    December 2, 2019 at 1:57 pm

    What is mommy slut pump gonna do when the crotch fruit turns 18? Mommy won’t get anymore child credit welfare payout. That’s when she starts hooking and tells her daughter’s boyfriends she wants to Get spit roasted for bus fare and a couple of Denny’s gift cards.

  • Cottonmouth
    December 2, 2019 at 1:55 pm

    Why would mom “the bestie” let her fat ass daughter wear that black dress??? Her fat is literally oozing out all over the place. Gross.

  • Finn
    December 2, 2019 at 1:11 pm

    Awww, the mom already gave “Skylar Jade” her first porn/stripper name. What a thoughtful mom.

    Mom definitely gives bathroom blowies to Skylar’s male friends. Skylar just thinks she’s popular.

    Get Fucked,
    Finn

  • ncfoothillbilly
    December 2, 2019 at 1:00 pm

    So, shes dating Ted Cruzs grandson? I wonder if they have matching flat brimmed hats?

  • Lee Ho
    December 2, 2019 at 12:10 pm

    I like naughty women.

    But I don’t like thieves.

  • A many gendered thing
    December 2, 2019 at 12:09 pm

    This could be my favorite of the year. I’m gonna read it all again tonight with a big Christmas beer. God bless you Turtleboy.

  • juror seven esq.
    December 2, 2019 at 12:08 pm

    The pictures, mother and daughter share a moment at Canobie Lake Park. Is there anything else that needs to be said? I guess CLP is closer than going out to Six Flags in Agawam. More than likely mom and daughter looking to hook up with one of those PHD. carnival workers.
    The picture of the daughter and son (from Jr. High?) looks like they belong to one of those cults from out in Utah. Son looks like he’s about to declare that he identifies as a turnip.

  • Spic Tormentor
    December 2, 2019 at 11:58 am

    That mom has tried to suck the penis of at least one of her daughters boyfriends

  • tiny cold cabin
    December 2, 2019 at 11:49 am

    Mother of the year? I don’t think so.

  • Pistachio Disguisee
    December 2, 2019 at 11:34 am

    Who does she think she is with that overly dramatic limp at court?…Keyser Soze?!!!

  • Cheddah
    December 2, 2019 at 10:52 am

    Being an adult and stealing from a corporate business might make you a scumbag.. Being an adult and stealing from a community private business makes you an absolute PIECE OF SHIT.
    Merry Christmas Jenn

  • Uriah Heep
    December 2, 2019 at 10:23 am

    So I stood on a ridge and shunned religion thinking the world was mine, I made my break and a big mistake; stealin’ when I should’ve been buyin’. I was stealin’ when I should’ve been buyin’, I was stealin’ when I should’ve been buyin’ yeah; Stealin’ when I should’ve been buyin’.

    • Dick GoZinya
      December 2, 2019 at 11:14 am

      Thank you for the flashback!

  • Free Shit
    December 2, 2019 at 10:08 am

    If the nursery is so into giving free shit to the community why don’t they just let them keep the shit?
    Honestly, who in town can possibly be more needy than this wreath stealing whore and her slut daughters?

  • Parenting Suggestions
    December 2, 2019 at 9:56 am

    Nothing says the holidays like taking your children out to steal. Now that she’s figured out that businesses have cameras she will move on to stealing from cemeteries. All that virtue posting on Facebook is the sign of a delusional and lonely broad.
    PS, allowing your daughter to dress like that isn’t helping her or cool. Be a parent not a friend

  • Turdchomper
    December 2, 2019 at 9:06 am

    Cunt

  • VINNY
    December 2, 2019 at 9:04 am

    Location, Location, Location. Shoplifters have to remember stealing is a crime in south of Suffolk county. If you are going to steal head to the land of Rachael Rollins

  • No Fat Chicks
    December 2, 2019 at 9:03 am

    What’s she been feeding her sow of a daughter – pure butter?

    • Julie the Jarhead
      December 2, 2019 at 10:37 am

      She wouldn’t look half as bad if she stole — er, I mean bought — clothes that fit.

      • Help Wanted
        December 2, 2019 at 10:47 am

        Julie, that’s nit like you at all. Does that mean you’re tired from finally having a job like the rest of us? Oh my goodness. Also I have to ask you. Did you storm the beaches of Iwo Jima or maybe fight in Hue City during the Tet Offensive?
        How about Beirut or maybe a more current endeavor. Such as the Invasion of Iraq or Falluja? Maybe Afghanistan was where you served
        Please enlighten us

        • Irish Need Not Apply
          December 2, 2019 at 6:36 pm

          Julie, you can clearly work at a place giving down votes. Share some of your liberal theories with the others who aren’t familiar with your bullshit.
          Semper Fi

  • Hellboy
    December 2, 2019 at 8:56 am

    Hull.. Brockton with a water view.

  • Mz Jenny Poor
    December 2, 2019 at 8:36 am

    Been caught stealin’, once when I was thirty eight! And it’s just a simple fact, when I want something and I don’t wanna pay for it!

    • Jenns Addiction
      December 2, 2019 at 6:15 pm

      So you walk right yeah you walk right thru the door

  • WeRFucked
    December 2, 2019 at 8:35 am

    The photo of Jen & Skyla as a newborn… Jen looks 15.

    Jen has potential. She just needs a spanking.

    • Pube Mullet
      December 2, 2019 at 9:43 am

      Exactly. The worst mothers are always the most sanctimonious and delusional.

    • werfucked is a dick
      December 2, 2019 at 2:19 pm

      You’re a fucking creep. Aren’t you the same guy that said paramedics are taxi drivers? GTFO

  • Father Dimmock
    December 2, 2019 at 8:01 am

    Just another low self esteem single mother scrabbling through life. Sad that the only joy you get is in your little precious hooker daughter miscreant who will make you a grandmother before menopause.

    • Captain Trips
      December 2, 2019 at 9:13 am

      I wonder where daddy went? In the can for theft?

      Imagine the amount of shit she actually steals. Just got caught this time.

      Stealing Xmas wreaths. Such an important item to steal. Desperate to survive!

      Another bleach blonde bimbo trying to stay 18 years old forever.

  • Blog worthy?
    December 2, 2019 at 7:44 am

    A blog about stolen christmas wreaths huh. Seems dumb

    • ninja turtleboy
      December 2, 2019 at 8:42 am

      this mom is teaching her kids that it’s okay to steal from a locally owned, small business. you probably don’t have a business so you wouldn’t understand the implications of their actions. this blog is almost guaranteed to embarrass the family into reformation and to stop them from repeat ratchet behavior. you missed the big picture and that’s fine, now move along.

    • Comment worthy?
      December 2, 2019 at 1:23 pm

      Drop a link to your blog with it’s creative content, and I’ll read it.

      Not.

  • WTAF!OMG!
    December 2, 2019 at 6:42 am

    Reading stuff! She writes! Makes my! Head hurt! Why cant anyone! Use punctuation! Correctly! Anymore! Omg!

  • War dead
    December 2, 2019 at 6:25 am

    Spankings all around,.mother/daughter just like the old days..

  • Look Close
    December 2, 2019 at 5:58 am

    Hubba Hubba…..she’s quite the looker in that 1st pic. Wonder what happened to the kids. The dads must be some homely muhfuckas.
    With a town like Hull, it should’ve been real easy to identify that 3rd one.

    • D. Fenestrator
      December 2, 2019 at 9:44 am

      Her son looks like fucking Mort Goldman from Family Guy.

  • Natural Nicki
    December 2, 2019 at 5:54 am

    The Garden Center sees it’s primary mission as giving free shit to the Communitaay. WTF businesses are afraid to admit they are in business to make money. How about stealing is a crime, theft, thief, criminal scum who could easily afford wreaths.

    Sounds like Crazy Commie Bernie and Neurotic Liz Warren both multi millionaires have already fooled enough snowflakes and liberal white women.

    • Liz Warren
      December 2, 2019 at 7:24 am

      Business exist to be taxed The government is the one to give you free shot

  • Klancy
    December 2, 2019 at 5:37 am

    Give a gurl a break. She’s had it rough. Had to leave the green valleys of RHODE ISLAND for Hull and Scituate public housing. Life’s not fair.

  • Mr. Bubba
    December 2, 2019 at 3:51 am

    Was she 8 years old when she gave birth to her “Bestie?”

    • Dumbest
      December 2, 2019 at 5:54 am

      No! The video of court was in 2009 ! She was 28 in 2009 ! Wow you always want to point out TB grammar but you can comprehend or read what it said!

      • Stop! Using! bad punctuation!
        December 2, 2019 at 7:24 am

        When did the stop teaching grammar in school? It’s sad that these comments are mostly illegible.

        JEN! Stop! Using exclamation marks! For statements! And fragments!

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