This is Vanessa Dedulonus from Melrose.

The hat.

I think we all know where this is going.

Vanessa was kicked out of a Stoneham Facebook group last week for price gouging masks.

Who the hell would ever pay $5 for a ventilator mask? As much as I despise scam artists like this, I also feel zero sympathy for the idiots who see someone doing this and hand over their money. They weren’t meant to keep that money in the first place. Do they think this is some sort of deal? Like, if they weren’t lucky enough to be a member of the Stoneham Facebook group would they just be fucked?

Anyway, she showed up in neighboring Melrose and Wakefield Facebook groups this week with a GoFundMe.

Gotta love it. She “spoke with” Melrose Wakefield hospital. Ya got that? She spoke to a building. She just called them up and offered to give them a bunch of masks, but only if she can raise $1,150 first. If she can’t then the hospital is fucked and everyone dies. The health of the entire area depends on this woman in a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat reaching her GFM target goal so she can buy them off her mystery supplier. She obviously seems trustworthy, and there is nothing shady about this story whatsoever.

It’s not like she checks off several boxes in our ratchet radar.

No, no, no. Generally people that are obsessed with Henny and flat brimmed Bulls hats are upstanding citizens who can be trusted not to sell their food stamps. The only way she could be more trustworthy is if she was selling cartons of Newport Lights to raise money for a commie cold vaccine. 

She ironically has a problem with price gougers around the holidays. 

Yea, price gouging a tie around the holidays is much worse than taking advantage of stupid people who think they’re going to die if they don’t have one of your masks.

Many in the Melrose group were skeptical.

Best rest assured, because Monique Babine knows her.

She knows her “personality.”

Well then, why didn’t you just say so? If a random stranger on Facebook says she’s legit then she must be legit.

Case closed.

So where does Hurricane Hennessy get her masks from?

A “supplier” of course. So why can’t she just have her supplier sell them directly to the hospital? Why did the hospital direct her to open up a GFM, and only donate masks if she can raise $1,150?

She doesn’t know their finances. She’s just helping out. Yup, that clear things up.

The tell-tale sign of dealing with a scammer is that they always deflect to all the good they’ve done the second people start calling them out on their scams. Hurricane Hennessy is the master of that.         

She has donated “to elderly.” They are a foundation. You can just write a check to “elderly” and they all get to live for 5 more years. What would all these hospitals and elderly people do were it not for the generosity of Hurricane Hennessy?

I decided to message her myself to see what was up.

And she blocked me after I began asking completely legitimate questions, which isn’t totally shady or anything like that. Turns out the hospital isn’t interested in dealing directly with a supplier of masks, and instead they prefer independent contractors start GoFundMe’s for them instead.

Here’s the best part – a day before she created the GFM she asked this question in the Melrose group:

She wanted to find out if the hospital needed masks, she found out they did, and then she pretended to have coordinated with them. Oh, and she did the same a few weeks ago except with hand sanitizer.

What would all these hospitals and first responders do without Hurricane Hennessy out here providing them with the things they need to keep people alive? God Bless this American hero.

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