All-Star Criminals

I Do Not Advise Donating To These Wareham Junkboxes Begging For Money To Get Their Children Back From The DCF Fairy For Months Without Any Success

Back in October, a human interests fluff piece made the rounds, about a couple of junkies living in a state forest campsite at Shawme-Crowell who were being forced to leave. Because, you know, state forest camping is seasonal, and it was fucking October.


Wareham Wicked Local: 

“Jessica and John Hayes, now marking four months clean and sober from addiction to heroin and fentanyl, are in a recovery program and trying desperately to accomplish two things – get a home and get their children back.

“One thing depends on the other,” said John Hayes, who is now working again, and along with his wife (who has secured two jobs), makes the rounds of group meetings, therapy sessions and weekly tests to prove he is drug-free.

“If we have a steady place for our family, a roof over our heads, we can be a family again.” The couple was living in a tent when they first spoke with the Courier & Sentinel last week.

That’s not where they wanted to be, and definitely not where they wanted the kids to be, so they have been actively trying to get into housing.

But, John notes, “if the price is good, the property is gone before you can even respond to an advertisement for it. And wait lists for low-income housing seem to all run well over a year.”

When first interviewed they had until Monday, Oct. 14, in the tent. That’s when the campground closed. At the start of the week, the couple, no longer allowed in the campground, had not found housing.

″“No,” said Jess Hayes, noting some really disrespectful responses to her and husband John’s story as it made its way around local social media. “Just more stress than anything.”

By Tuesday evening, the couple reported getting a room in a motel for $360 – all of their saved cash.

“Literally all of our saved money,” said Jess, “for one week. It’s so sad.” 

With paperwork in hand to prove that they are testing clean of drugs and attending therapy and counseling sessions regularly at Habit Opco in Wareham, as well as jobs to put money in their pockets again, Jessica is still finding the mountain hard to climb to get back to family life.”


Two junkies living under a tarp with four months on the methadone clinic, living under a tarp in the woods, couldn’t find housing after being thrown out of the state forest? Even after being featured on the news? No way, color me shocked. They look like they really have their shit together and everything!



This story actually landed in our inbox back then, but no one ever got around to it, and in a way I’m actually pretty glad. Because God forbid we speak ill of the two struggling, devoted parents who voluntarily decided to live like this until they had to literally be booted out of the gates. They were just going through a tough time, after all. Thoughts and shares!


And of course, they just looking for “a hand up, not a handout.”



I’m sure these two crazy kids have done great since then, and we would’ve been total assholes to point out any of the obvious glaring holes in their sob story. Right??




It’s been three months, and if you’re wondering what they’ve been up to – it’s not working hard, saving their money and parenting their kids. Nope. It’s been a whole lot of internet begging, on every town page they can get in to, with endless sob stories, requests, and “emergencies”.



Less than 6 months after the junkie encampment story broke and homegirl is out here burning bridges faster than Atilla the Hun, scamming everyone with her stories of homelessness, car repairs, hotel room bills and car insurance. Seems legit. They’re going to get their kids back, any day now, they just can’t afford a whole $350 per month in bills between the two of them. Seems like their priorities are right in order. Not like they’ve been running the same flimsy scam for months, or anything.





Nope, not at all. It’s actually been years.




So there’s that. If you can’t even afford low income housing, the problem is you. Not the system.

Oh, and those jobs Wicked Local reported on? Gone. DCF’s fault, of course.

There is clearly no other rational explanation as to why this creature has found herself unemployed again.



I just hate it when the DCF fairy comes to steal my kids, then comes back around for my job too. Naturally, Junkie Jess has been an absolute delight to anyone who dares express any skepticism towards the endless string of personal life emergencies she expects strangers to take care of for her and her able-bodied sperm donor.



They just need a little help, guys. Trust them, they’re clearly days away from getting their kids back, if they could raise the money for a rental deposit for, like, the fourth time.


Jess even had the nerve to offer her unsolicited budgeting advice to a stranger who passed on the idea of funneling cash towards the two clearly able-bodied DCF parents who can’t seem to figure out how to call a homeless shelter and get off the damn streets.


Lecturing someone about living expenses after you were on the news for trying to make a Coleman tent your permanent address takes a staggering lack of insight and shame. Then again, so does intermittently begging on social media while insisting that housing is the last step you need to take to regain care and custody of your neglected crotch fruit. Because, while I do understand being low income is in no way indicative of parental unfitness, carrying on like this certainly is. For that reason, I’m going to take a hard pass on the GoFundMe and strongly suggest others do the same. No amount of money thrown at these two junkalopes is going to buy them what they really need – basic, adult life skills.




80 Comment(s)
  • Sarah
    January 7, 2020 at 11:29 am

    Bristol, I finally know what you look like. Should of wore a bag on your head.

    • don
      January 7, 2020 at 11:33 am

      which story was about you?

  • Bucketboy
    January 7, 2020 at 7:57 am

    Love that belly shirt.I have the same one.Like to wear it
    when I dance for Anselmo to Madonnas Lucky Star.
    Then we go out and audit Home Depot.

  • WeRFucked
    January 7, 2020 at 7:27 am

    She looks so cute in a couple of those pictures. That top picture on the right? I would. She even looks like she showered fairly recently in that one.
    The “disease” is supposedly caused by prescription pain relief medications. You suppose these two once had bad backs that required an Oxy script, you know, from working too hard?

    Don’t get me started on those tats. Do you ever notice people with tats have an addictive personality?

  • Abe Vigodas Ghost
    January 7, 2020 at 1:54 am

    I would suck the middle nipple.

  • Rod Ramsey
    January 6, 2020 at 11:43 pm

    Bumper sticker material if I’ve ever seen it. Up there with ONLY IN MAYNARD

  • Calm WhiteDad
    January 6, 2020 at 10:44 pm

    She’s got a sweet little junky body on her and provably a few brown teeth. My favorite. I’d party at lease $75 for an hour of raw dawg with her. Would love to taste her dirty dingleberry disease juices on my face.

  • mizzbigbooty92688
    Lost Cause
    January 6, 2020 at 10:14 pm

    I’m from Wareham and guess who’s hiring ALL THE TIME…. WENDYS I found you both a job walk across the street from the clinic and fill that application out and you’ll both have jobs. I solved your problem for you.

    • don
      January 7, 2020 at 11:31 am

      what? cross a street? thats way to far for them. they want freebies. not having to walk across a street to get them.

  • Rod Ramsey
    January 6, 2020 at 10:07 pm

    She’s a 0 on the binary scale.

  • Albert DeSalvo
    January 6, 2020 at 9:49 pm

    FYI she will lick your asshole for a 5 dollar bill
    While her bearded clam boyfriend beats off
    Just so you know

  • Randy Quaid
    January 6, 2020 at 9:43 pm

    I also loved it when the police officer blew that fat fucking spade Michael Browns head off
    And then they left the fat prick lieing in the street all day like a beached fucking whale


  • Amanda Sawyer
    January 6, 2020 at 9:25 pm

    Would fondle Ol’ Tri Tits!

    • Rod Ramsey
      January 6, 2020 at 10:04 pm

      She has three boobs!

  • Cheddah
    January 6, 2020 at 9:15 pm

    Every time I hear Wareham in the news I’ll always think of that awesome Wendy’s manager who unfortunately got fired for speaking his mind in an email of the “lack of talent pool in Wareham” due to too many incompetent junkies etc.. This article proves that point even more..

    • SRM
      January 7, 2020 at 9:15 am

      President Trump has created So many Good jobs that fast food resteraunts are left scrapping the bottom of the barrel for help.
      These two burdens on society are definitely the very bottom.
      Blame the President for the Booming Economy, low unemployment and making Even the most Undesirable people Employable.

  • Randy
    January 6, 2020 at 9:12 pm

    I loved it when I heard that fucking spade Rodney king drowned high on heroin in his swimming pool
    A real fucking lawn jockey


    • Yeah, but...
      January 7, 2020 at 6:36 am

      ….that’s only because he was banging your mom.

      “Can’t we all get along with your mama?”

  • Randy Quaid
    January 6, 2020 at 8:56 pm

    What a hideous looking cunt
    I wouldn’t touch her
    But I’d like to blow a load in her boyfriends beard

  • tousmp
    January 6, 2020 at 8:48 pm

    They could probably raise kids. Here’s some money.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    January 6, 2020 at 8:23 pm

    You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your junkies. And yet I’m one of the lucky ones. People are suffering. People are dying. Entire ecosystems are collapsing. We are in the beginning of a mass extinction and all you can talk about are junkies and fairy tales. How dare you! …How dare you!

    • Greta’s dad
      January 6, 2020 at 8:58 pm

      You need to relax greta and take a huff off a tail pipe and find what Carson monoxide is all about.

      • Greta Thunberg
        January 6, 2020 at 9:14 pm

        How Dare You!!!

  • Jewmerica
    January 6, 2020 at 8:19 pm

    So, I’m thinking of killing myself. By way of up votes, who thinks that is a good idea?

  • Daniel Crowell
    January 6, 2020 at 8:05 pm

    After everything is said and done I would put a load in her ass…..

    • BOLT OFF
      January 6, 2020 at 8:32 pm

      Lance, I think you had one too many white wines with dinner tonight – you meant to say that you would put a load in ‘his’ ass, you dumb buttfucker.

    • Turd Reversalist
      January 7, 2020 at 3:26 am

      Lance, leave that stuff to the pros.
      You’d probably raw dog it and then wonder why your piss hole becomes a puss dispenser.
      Plus, your motivation is predatory. When I engage and plow the young lady’s nether hole, it is in the interest of justice and becomes a teaching moment for the recipient. In this case, the lesson would be the obvious. You must earn your money through the providing of a service.
      Once I have finished the session, I would leave a token amount of cash to help instill a proper work ethic.

      • TL;DR
        January 7, 2020 at 6:33 am

        Up all hours of the night, offering nothing.

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    January 6, 2020 at 7:11 pm

    In this economy, in this job market, you could work part time, get mass health, and easily make the rent, for the section 8 they would clearly qualify for. With plenty of grocery money and gas for the car. Unless of course, they are not clean and sober.. It couldn’t be! Could it?

  • Elephants in the tent
    January 6, 2020 at 6:40 pm

    Don’t these two qualify for all the free stuff local govts give away if you promise to vote Democrat? Geez Louise, even the Boston Bombers got hundreds of thousands of dollars of free government stuff before they returned the favors on Marathon day. I suspect one of the elephants in the room, or tent, is that these two are still using and can’t pass drug tests, no? Lotsa jobs around; Amazon is hiring everywhere. And if you can throw a decent football, the Patriots may be hiring soon too….

  • Dr Ed
    January 6, 2020 at 6:27 pm

    Fellow turtle riders
    I’m taking a little break from posting
    I’m checking into a clinic to get off the wild turkey and I’m getting treated for syphilus

    Pray for me

    • Old Tom Morris
      January 6, 2020 at 8:49 pm

      Prayers my brother, I know all about Syphilis, have had it many times.

      • Dr Ed
        January 6, 2020 at 9:02 pm

        Old Tom
        Thank you my friend
        I figure I needed to go in
        I’m drinking a half a gallon of the wild turkey on the weekends
        And my balls look like they’re going to fall into the shitter when I take a piss

        • don
          January 7, 2020 at 11:37 am

          wait? my balls hitting the water is normal?

    • Jewmerica
      January 6, 2020 at 9:11 pm

      Syphilis, I have that too, as did my dad. No wonder my mom ran off with that Jewish man!

    • Dr. Ed
      January 6, 2020 at 9:44 pm

      Wild Turkey is all dark meat. I prefer factory turkey.

    January 6, 2020 at 6:03 pm

    They got their priorities straight, Gotta have that cable and internet for $150.00 a month…fuck off Kunts…

  • Someone who would know
    January 6, 2020 at 5:54 pm

    If they had really done “everything” the DCF fairy asked them to do, DCF would help them get into a family shelter where they Could reunify. Also god forbid you’re expected to attend court dates and visits with your kids that are scheduled well ahead of time, if your job can’t deal with that then you wouldn’t be able to keep it when you get the kids back anyways, what if your kid gets sick? Oh wait, they’ll just apply for Snap and cash bennies.

  • Tatoo You
    January 6, 2020 at 5:49 pm

    Simple – if you have money for shitty body ink then no hand out.

    • Jer
      January 6, 2020 at 6:19 pm

      They arent looking for hand outs…they need hand UPS!!

      • Silencio Dogood
        January 7, 2020 at 12:57 am

        Hand Ups to get On Their Feet.

  • Mary Poppins
    January 6, 2020 at 5:39 pm

    Stay at home mom for 4 years? Her kids don’t look 4, never mind at what age they were “taken”. So pathetic.

  • Skeezer Pleazer
    January 6, 2020 at 5:38 pm

    I thought that skeezer had three titties in the first pic.

    • Russian Breast Release
      January 6, 2020 at 9:20 pm

      Me too! Thought I hit the trifecta!

  • hartf811
    Don’t feed the seagulls
    January 6, 2020 at 5:38 pm


  • F**U
    January 6, 2020 at 5:34 pm

    Oh the dental hygiene!

  • Patrick Bateman
    January 6, 2020 at 5:29 pm

    This girl used to drive thru southbridge with a washing machine on the roof of her car and a sign in the back window that said “baby up in this bitch” Glad she’s in cape cod now.

    Unfortunately this is not fabricated

    • Patrick’s chainsaw
      January 6, 2020 at 5:44 pm


      • Patrick Batemen
        January 6, 2020 at 6:57 pm

        Hip to be square is the perfect sound track to axe murder someone in a Manhattan apartment.

        • Chainsaw again
          January 6, 2020 at 8:43 pm

          Look up Huey Lewis/Weird Al American Psycho. Riot. Spot on.

  • Jewmerica
    January 6, 2020 at 5:23 pm

    All Jewish countries are the same ask your uncle.

  • MrSmiley
    January 6, 2020 at 5:06 pm

    Willpower is an amaaaazing thing. Choosing to ride the heroin cloud instead of taking care of your kids. You get what you deserve. Enjoy tent city somewhere else.

  • Junkies Made A Choice. Not a Disease
    January 6, 2020 at 5:05 pm

    Human garbage that chooses to live that lifestyle over taking care of their children. The problem is the liberals keep giving them more and more On too if that they don’t want to hurt their feelings. The hole stop the stigma thing is another way to be nice to the junkies that in return break into you car or house and rob people walking home from work. Fuck these two and the idiots that keep giving to them

    • Same Guy As Above
      January 6, 2020 at 5:08 pm

      Blame my sausage fingers.

  • Julie the Jarhead
    January 6, 2020 at 4:44 pm

    If you look at the picture on the left real quick, it looks like she has three bewbs.

    • Help Wanted
      January 6, 2020 at 4:54 pm

      Any luck with the job search?
      Encore casino is only a city away and has plenty of jobs

    • Dirty Dan
      January 6, 2020 at 5:41 pm

      I thought the same thing at first too!!

      • Corinth Arkadin
        January 6, 2020 at 6:09 pm

        I did too.

        It was all Total Recall and sheeet

    • Classified
      January 6, 2020 at 10:06 pm

      If you look Amazon is hiring also

  • Aspiring Street Rapper from the mean streets of Cohasset
    January 6, 2020 at 4:40 pm

    Those poor kids. I hope they manage to somehow grow up ok.

  • Crispy C
    January 6, 2020 at 4:40 pm

    That’s gonna be a no from me dawg.

  • Crymearivertrashpanda
    January 6, 2020 at 4:38 pm

    This bitch has THREE separate FB pages all with Go Fund Mes for different shit. Her husband or whatever the hell he is was walking up to people in Walmart this weekend just straight asking for cash!! Since the Wareham pages caught in and stopped feeling bad for her, she’s moved onto Plymouth and sandwich asking for shit. I mean Jesus one guy offered to let them live rent fucking free in a house he owns,but because they couldn’t move in until Nov 1st, she turned him down with some sob story about how DCF wouldn’t let her live somewhere that was a shared space with the kids she’s never getting back. Countless people told her she could live in a family shelter and get her kids back,that wasn’t good enough either. Someone paid for a motel room for them for most of November and I’m pretty sure Dec as well and they got TONS of donations from locals while living for free supposedly saving their money for a 1st&security deposit. They both had 3 jobs according to her and legit, she was soooo rude to anyone that offered any advice or anything other than a monetary handout. All her pics of them are stolen off her brothers FB page or in DCF rooms. Her and her fuckstick boi toy are deplorable people who continue to prey on vulnerable people that truly just wanted to help someone in need,or so they thought.

  • Industrializer
    January 6, 2020 at 4:24 pm

    Hot body. Nasty face. I would still do it.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    January 6, 2020 at 4:23 pm

    Always money for ink…

    Question for the junkies: How are the tattoos, piercings, and opiates working out for you? Do they make you a happy person? Sure don’t look it!

  • Grow up!
    January 6, 2020 at 4:14 pm

    When you’re looking to get a home for your children, you should be saving that $150 a month you spend for cable and internet cause it is not as important as having your children back is. Or maybe it is, and that’s exactly why you’re in this position. At this point it’s a choice to be “no where” there are so many places that will help you. Of course that’s when you are also helping yourself. And four months on the methadone clinic is not long enough to even say you are clean. They shouldn’t be allowed to have those children until they reach one year sobriety. And it’s unlikely that will happen. This is sick

  • Spic Tormentor
    January 6, 2020 at 4:06 pm

    Every morning when I drive to work there is an off ramp that has a couple junkies in a tent living near it. Since they are stupid, they didn’t put their tent directly under the ramp, but off to the side where it is easily within range.
    After several attempts I’m happy to announce that last week I finally hit their tent with a direct hit from a 1/2 full coffee. One of the junkies was awake (shocking) and outside of the tent when I rained junkie terror on them. He started flipping me off and made a 2 step attempt to somehow chase my car.

    95s exit 22a in providence if anyone wants to give it a shot

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      January 6, 2020 at 4:25 pm

      Awesome ST! Thanks for the info and the good job!

      Make it an open gallon of oil based paint or a cinderblock on the next drive by!

      • Judge dread
        January 6, 2020 at 4:39 pm

        Sit in the back of a pickup trump and throw an open gallon turpentine or bleach. Well bleach might clean the area.

      • .
        January 6, 2020 at 9:50 pm

        And your arse in jail…

    • Nice Aim
      January 6, 2020 at 4:59 pm

      I laughed out loud when I read this. Thanks brother

    • 95 Southbound
      January 6, 2020 at 9:05 pm

      Wow, that is indeed some torment!

      Now for the million dollar question, were they spics? Asking for a friend.

      • Spic Tormentor
        January 7, 2020 at 6:52 am

        I wish they were spics but they were your standard, run-of-the-mill white trash junkies.

    • ChipChipperson
      January 6, 2020 at 10:34 pm

      I’m down that way next week and I’ll bring along the empty beer keg I keep meaning to get rid of.

      • Spic Tormentor
        January 7, 2020 at 9:05 am

        I would recommend slowing down or stopping completely as long as there is no one behind you. This will allow for maximum accuracy

  • Washashore
    January 6, 2020 at 4:06 pm

    Wareham, reason #1 not to bother going off Cape…

  • Crazy Liberals
    January 6, 2020 at 3:59 pm

    George Lopez will suck illhan Omars cock for free and butt fuck obama for $10.

  • Hugh Mungous
    January 6, 2020 at 3:54 pm

    Yet these two scumbags can afford to get shitty tattoos, just fuck off. If you start a go fund me for a .38 I will buy you each 1 round if you promise to put it In the roof of your mouth

    • Judge dread
      January 6, 2020 at 4:34 pm

      You gotta play it through. Deer hunter style. Wear a half tinted glasses and make them wear red head bands.have tons of chinamen waving foreign currency to make it more intense.

      • Nicky!
        January 6, 2020 at 5:38 pm

        Didi Mau those fuckers.

        • WOP smacker
          January 6, 2020 at 7:37 pm

          didi mau means hurry up and go, are you Dien-Cai-Dao or something
          hút tinh ranh của tôi wannabe.

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