All-Star Criminals

I Found Out That Dan Fuck Me In The Astle Was Being Criminally Charged By The DA’s Office Because A Sentinel Reporter Called Me Instead Of Being Alerted By The Court


Back in September a Fall River necrophiliac named Dan Astle, who had been featured in a blog published by former blogger “Manch,” sent me some pretty disturbing death threats.

I refuse to cry about death threats like Ilhan Omar and other leftists do when they’re rightfully criticized for saying something stupid. I do what everyone should do when they receive a death threat – expose the douchebags who sent the threats, call the cops, and pursue maximum justice.

That’s exactly what I did when I showed the threats to the Holden Police who then filed for a criminal complaint in Leominster District Court. Last month I had a court date there with both Fuck Me In The Astle and Crazy Charlotte McFarland. Charlotte was a no-show, but Fuck Me In The Astle showed up with his Dad. We had a hearing in front of a clerk magistrate who would decide whether or not this would go in front of a judge. Fuck Me In The Astle whined that the blog was mean to him and he couldn’t find a job because of it. It had nothing to do with the shit he publicly posted, or the fact that he’s a deranged psychopath with no social skills. It’s because of a blog.

He showed up with his dad too, because of course he needed a ride. His Dad is obviously a fucking moron too because he tried speaking out of turn, whined about feelings, and was promptly told to shut up. The most hilarious part was that Fuck Me In The Astle told the clerk that he didn’t know he was emailing me when he sent the threats, and that he was just kidding. Because could be anyone apparently.

I never heard back from the ADA’s office or the court about what the clerk decided to do, and only found out today because a Sentinel reporter contacted me. Turns out they decided to press charges:

A Fall River man was arraigned in Leominster District Court on Thursday for allegedly making a death threat against Aidan Kearney, founder of the Massachusetts-oriented blog Turtleboy Sports. Daniel Astle, 33, of 601 Bullock St. in Fall River, is accused of sending a graphic and threatening email to Kearney after being the subject of a blog post on the Turtleboy website, according to court documents. He was charged with threatening to commit a crime. In the email in question, Astle details his desire to amputate one of Kearney’s limbs and tells him that there is nothing he will be able to do to protect himself, according to a copy of the message contained in a police report.

“Hopefully you regain some of your common sense and listen very carefully when I tell you I have nothing better to do right now then (sic) hunt you down,” Astle wrote in the email, according to police.

Speaking by phone Friday morning, Kearney said he wasn’t aware that Astle was arraigned, nor that the state had decided to pursue charges against him. Typically, he said, he’s looped in when charges are officially filed, noting that this is far from the first time he’s reported threats like this to the police.

“I’m the guy who’s always getting threatened,” Kearney said.

About a month ago, Kearney said, he attended a meeting at the Leominster District Courthouse that Astle also attended. Kearney said Astle appeared at the meeting with his father, and that during the meeting he blamed Kearney for making him send the threatening email. Astle also said he did not realize the email he sent to was being sent to Kearney, according to Kearney, who said on Friday he didn’t believe Astle because his name is openly associated with the popular blog.

Astle appears to have been featured on the Turtleboy website at least three times, with the first post dating back to May 2018. In that blog, an author writing under a pseudonym accused Astle of sending inappropriate photos to underage girls and published screenshots of what appears to be Astle discussing interest in hurting and maiming other people. Kearney said he takes these kinds of messages seriously and often reports them to police, adding that he hopes these charges send a message to people who make these types of threats online.

Would’ve been great if the DA’s office could’ve given me a phone call and let me know about this. Maybe Joe Early is busy covering his ass somewhere.

Either way, I want this to be a lesson to anyone out there who might be tempted to threaten me or anyone who works for Turtleboy. We will find out who you are, we will ruin your life, and I will take sick, sadistic joy in watching it happen.



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35 Comment(s)
  • Nadia Yenraek
    Nadia Yenraek
    November 18, 2019 at 7:10 am

    Released on personal recognizance and given a court appointed lawyer. Good job pissing away the taxpayers’ money with a case with ZERO chance he’ll go to jail.

    I really hope this goes to trial so you can sit around the courthouse for a few days waiting to the case to be called, and finally cross examined on all the nasty shit you wrote (all admissible) but you cannot mention all the nasty shit he wrote except the few emails he sent.

    Don’t need Kenton-Walker to let this one walk.

    • dowen0895
      Dick Scratcher
      November 18, 2019 at 7:55 am

      Any chance you could just fuck right off?

      The adults are talking.

      • Nadia Yenraek
        Nadia Yenraek
        November 18, 2019 at 4:19 pm

        Umm. No. No chance at all.

  • Vinnie severe
    November 17, 2019 at 2:00 am

    You are a fucking coward
    You talk shit about people on your Mickey Mouse blog
    Then someone gets pissed and threatens you you shit your pants and run to the cops like the cunt you are

    • WeRFucked
      November 17, 2019 at 8:14 am

      Writing about shitty people doing shitty things is different than threatening to kill someone because they wrote a story about you being a shitty person doing shitty things.

      See the difference guido?

  • Hmmm
    November 16, 2019 at 8:35 pm

    Those old messages from him look very similar to comments made on this blog. Makes one wonder……

  • beta
    November 16, 2019 at 6:43 pm

    Danny boy is talking a big game, but he won’t do shit. Fagget betas never do.

  • PussyDan
    November 16, 2019 at 3:13 pm

    I would bet that Dan is regretting this and is very, very scared. Typical. Big mouth on keyboard, but when things get tough Dan is a bitch.

  • Russmo
    November 16, 2019 at 2:53 pm

    I can tell this Dan guy is a fag and has never been in a fight in his life
    His alcoholic father drove him to court because Danny boy was in no shape to drive after his porch monkey boyfriend just fucked him up the ass

  • Cheeseman
    November 16, 2019 at 2:48 pm

    TB is picking on this guy only because the guy slapped the shit out of him in down town Worcester
    TB is a cunt

  • randiguy2006
    Poor you.
    November 16, 2019 at 2:20 pm

    Always playing the victim card.


  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    November 16, 2019 at 1:27 pm

    Hey son, let’s go! Come up from your basement room! Get out of my ammo locker! Time to drive you to court!

    I can’t get a job because tewtil boy is mean to me daddy!

  • randiguy2006
    November 16, 2019 at 10:45 am

    Here a helpful hint.

    If you want help from the authorities because the mean man said scary things on the computer, its a good idea not to slam them online.

  • randiguy2006
    November 16, 2019 at 10:42 am

    So tough guy TB runs to the cops because of online bullying.

    What a complete putz.

  • Philsy Benson
    November 16, 2019 at 9:14 am

    9 to 5 is all people are singing in the dorm. Thanx a bunch assholes. Haha. The kid right across the hall just plays the beginning over and over again

  • Jim Shortz
    November 16, 2019 at 9:12 am

    From someone in the court system, the DA’s office is not aware of any case when it’s in the posture of a Magistrate’s hearing. Usually it’s just the police, the parties involved and the clerk’s office. Once the magistrate makes a decision to issue the complaint then the case gets referred to the DA’s office to prosecute. The magistrate could have given you a heads up though that he was going to issue the complaint. Hopefully a victim witness advocate will reach out to you after the arraignment or before it. I don’t work for a DA and I’m not sticking up for anyone just stating that that’s normal. now if a victim witness advocate doesn’t stay in touch with you while this case is pending then there’s a problem

  • Kick his ass
    November 16, 2019 at 7:42 am

    So TB’s a pussy.

    • Dees nutz
      November 16, 2019 at 8:05 am

      STFU ill kick your ass so bad you’ll wake up a newborn. And I’m and atheist.

    • Kick his ass
      November 17, 2019 at 2:11 am

      “And I’m and atheist” just say your gay it’s 2019 stick to your rainbow flag waving crew. This guys bringing the gay state posse,lol.

  • Joseph Early
    November 16, 2019 at 7:33 am

    Dear Turtleboy, I take offense to your implication I was ” covering my ass” somewhere. Everyone knows I leave my ass exposed so I can get fucked anytime. As such, I will be suing you forthwith.

  • Eliah's final fart
    November 16, 2019 at 7:06 am

    fucking faggot. that’s a 50 caliber armor piercing incendiary round this homo is holding. It can be fired from an M2 belt fed heavy machine gun (Ma deuce) or a wannabe homo can hold it for selfies to distract from the fact that he has a 3″ dick.

    • Judge dread
      November 16, 2019 at 4:38 pm

      Don’t you need a class 3 license to posses destructive devices? I’m pretty sure you do and I’m pretty sure he’s posing with an illegal destructive device.

  • Silencio Dogood
    November 16, 2019 at 1:59 am

    as the victim, you need to stop expecting rights.

  • Judge dread
    November 15, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    This guy looks like Hillary Clinton’s butt plug.

  • mrme
    November 15, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    Hey TB, Calm the F down. You are a potential witness/victim in a criminal case. The DA has to maintain a disinterested prosecution and as such you are not kept in the loop until needed. Don’t worry, if it goes to trial, you will be summonsed. Call the victim/witness advocate if you want to know what is going on.

  • Alyssa Lungarini
    November 15, 2019 at 7:04 pm

    Yes! Yes! Yes!

  • brightlights
    November 15, 2019 at 6:41 pm

    What a fuckface.

  • New roomy
    November 15, 2019 at 6:24 pm

    This phaget is 31:
    This phaget is going to meet Bubba and Tyrone.

  • SMH
    November 15, 2019 at 5:57 pm

    Enable embedded play on You Tube for the video so we can see it on this page without going to YouTube.

  • Rot Roh Shaggy
    November 15, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    Yeah, you’re probably not too popular at any DA’s office these days. taking a jab (albeit well deserved) at judges has consequences, it seems.

    For the love of God, stop abusing wontons, though.

  • Spic Tormentor
    November 15, 2019 at 5:28 pm

    That beta male faggot has never fired a gun

  • A Match Made In Nirana
    November 15, 2019 at 5:00 pm

    Josh tibbits is looking for a cellmate.

  • Achmed
    November 15, 2019 at 4:55 pm

    You cant find me

  • Real_Finn
    November 15, 2019 at 4:43 pm

    I fucking love wontons! (oh… she meant…)

    Get Fucked,

  • bigdaddy
    Joe Early
    November 15, 2019 at 4:27 pm

    hey I am busy its Friday and I had to leave early

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