Smiles And Sunshine

If Turtleboy Becomes Chief Diversity Officer Racism Will Be Fixed In Worcester

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As you know Turlteboy has been extremely naughty. As a matter of fact we are apparently responsible for starting a rising up of Worcester’s underground KKK in the Facebook comments section. As a result the hippies have a plan to fix us all – bring the Justice Department to the Woo. They will be coming here for a series of conferences and discussions with the “community” in May and June. Here is the press release from Worcester Magazine

The dates for Worcester’s upcoming series of discussions on race have been announced by the city manager and mayor’s offices. The talks were conceived as a way to facilitate constructive conversation about relations between people of different backgrounds. They come on the heels of the arraignment of a Worcester police officer, Michael Motyka, for allegedly making a racial slur before assaulting a handcuffed black prisoner. That incident itself came on the heels of protests, including one that blocked Kelley Square for 4.5 minutes and resulted in criminal charges, against the Worcester Police Department for perceived racism and bias.

The talks will be facilitated by the U.S. Department of Justice, with the Massachusetts Attorney General’s office also helping. All the events in the series will take place on Mondays from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

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Now let’s check out the schedule and see how these will help fix the rampant racism in Worcester.

May 18: Overview of dialogue process and setting the stage for dialogue YWCA of Central Massachusetts, 1 Salem Square

Ahhhhh yes, the YWCA. Who works there? Oh yea, Joyce McNickles. A woman who thought it wise to commit herself to Old Balls for eternity is going to be “setting the stage for dialogue.” Thank God these conversations will be run by such a reasonable person.

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June 1: Representative Government Quinsigamond Community College, 670 W Boylston St.

This is a must. Because right now clearly only racist people are voting. How else can you explain the fact that the City Council commended the Worcester Police back in January?

June 8: Public Safety Belmont AME Zion Church, 55 Illinois St.

Much overdo as well. Worcester’s problems have nothing to do with the fact that there are kids bringing guns to school and getting shot at the Quality Inn at 4 AM while their parents cheer them on on Facebook. Worcester’s problems all revolve around it’s racist “public safety” police force.

June 15: Youth and Education Worcester Technical High School, 1 Skyline Drive (still tentative)

I’m sure the youth who are failing all their classes and making school impossible for kids who want to learn will be attending this conference. Definitely. This should fix everything.

June 22: Media and Online Social Networks Worcester Jewish Community Center, 633 Salisbury St.

LOL. Gee, I wonder why they’re having this conference?

June 29: Economic Development Friendly House, 36 Wall St.

Because who wouldn’t wanna invest money in a city covered in trash and used needles?

July 13: Report back and next steps City Hall, 455 Main St.

AKA, the same 20 people who went to all these conferences will get together and talk about how they fixed racism. Then they’ll have some snacks and pat themselves on the back for fixing racism in Worcester.

But wait – it gets better. City Manager Ed Augustus thinks we don’t have enough useless overpaid suits in this city. The same guy who secretly met with the Worcester Tennis Club and Worcester State College to chop down city parks for the benefit of private interests wants to create a position called, “Chief Diversity Officer.” Thank God. I don’t know how we’ve survived this long without a Chief Diversity Officer. Here’s what he said:

“Creating a more diverse and culturally competent workforce is crucial as we work to encourage a more inclusive city.” 

Here’s my question. Are “diverse” and “culturally competent” people being denied access for jobs? Is whoever is in charge of hiring city workers taking minority applications and having Mark Brophy take a steamy dump on them? Because unless that’s happening then there’s no problem. You can’t get a job you don’t apply for. But yea, let’s create a Chief Diversity Officer who will go out of their way to find people who aren’t applying for jobs and just hand them to them on account of not being white. That makes TONS of sense.

Here’s what I’m interested in – where do I sign up to be Chief Diversity Officer?

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I mean, it would only make sense to have a Turtelboy representative be the CDO right? After all, we are a diverse family feminist blog. We’ll diversify the shit out of the workforce. We’ll start with a push to get more left-handed people into city jobs. Then we’ll move onto widow’s peaks. Not nearly enough of our workers have widow’s peaks. Sounds like discrimination. Lastly, if we have enough time, we will work on fixing the ongoing discrimination against those amongst us with attached earlobes. All you dooshnozzles with unattached earlobes walk around this city like your shit don’t stink. It’s time for Turtleboy to end your systematic oppression of left-handed, attached earlobed, widows peakers.

And who will be paying for this position?

August said he will request funding for the new position in an amount to be determined in the fiscal 2016 budget.

Oh good, the taxpayers!! Yay!! Sure, Worcester is covered in trash and potholes and schools are drastically underfunded. But none of those things compare to the urgent need for a Chief Diversity Officer.

Mr. Augustus also recommended efforts to increase the number of police encounters captured on camera.

Oh good, more assholes following around the police with cameras calling them pigs. It worked well in Roxbury, why not here?

Mr. Augustus said Friday that another important part of the plan is efforts to greater promote turnout in city elections, particularly in communities of color. He said turnout in some precincts in recent elections have been in the single-digits, with many of those precincts situated in neighborhoods with a high number of families of color. Accordingly, he said, the city will look to do a better job getting the word out, including promoting early voting, recruiting multilingual poll workers, including information about elections in real estate tax bills and asking radio personalities on English and Spanish stations to promote elections.

Yea, we should go into places where no one gives a fuck, and no one votes, and force them to get their ass down to the polls and cast their ballots. Multiple times if necessary – no ID required.

Hey how about this? How bout if you’re too lazy to get your ass off the couch and do your civic duty, then you don’t have to? Why are we trying to “do a better job getting the word out” about elections? Elections are the first Tuesday in November. If you’re too stupid to know that by now I think we can all agree that you’re better off not voting. Leave elections up to the people who actually pay attention, pay taxes, and generally give a fuck.


I especially love the part about getting radio personalities to promote elections. Newsflash – that’s pretty much all Jordan Levy and Jim Polito do. But guess what? The people who aren’t voting aren’t tuning into WTAG. Not yet at least. This will all be fixed once Chief Diversity Officer Turtleboy goes into their homes and forces them to listen to Jordan Levy ramble on about Hilary Clinton.


The best part came at the end:

Other recommendations in the report include: updating city affirmative action policy to reflect current demographics, making diversity training mandatory for city employees, improving access to services for people with limited English proficiency, developing a plan to reduce youth violence, re-establishing the mayor’s civic academy, continuing to expand the Worcester Jobs Fund and continuing to fund nonprofit organizations serving racial, cultural or ethnic minorities.

Oh good, more “diversity training” for city employees. Because all those racist teachers at North High don’t realize that “color-blind” is a racist term. Gee, I wonder who will be leading this “diversity training,” and how much the city will be paying Joyce McNickles to do so? Hopefully once Turtleboy becomes CDO her and Old Balls’ reign of terror from Sutton will be over.

The department will also reconstitute the Worcester Clergy and Police Alliance and Clergy/Civilian Police academy, as well as monitor and remove hateful comments on its Facebook page.

Phew. Thank God they’re taking care of the never-ending problem of people saying rude things on the Internet. LOL. How old is Ed Augustus? Does he not get how the Internet works? You can’t stop people from saying fucked up shit online. That’s a fact. We don’t have the time to police our comments section and neither does the City of Worcester. Sure, you can block some people, which we’ve done plenty of times. Guess what? They just make new names. Because Facebook isn’t real. Old people can’t seem to grasp this concept.


And I’m sorry, but I laughed out loud when I saw “developing a plan to reduce youth violence.” This is nothing less than feel-good political nonsense. Newsflash Ed Augustus – you don’t have the power to reduce youth violence. That kid who got shot at the Quality Inn, all those kids who punched vice principals at North, and the 16 year old who brought a gun to Burncoat – none of those kids give a fuck about your plan. Their lone priority is to settle beefs. There is one plan to reduce this violence that can actually work – lock them up if they act a fool.

Then of course there was the part he snuck in there at the end: continuing to fund nonprofit organizations serving racial, cultural or ethnic minorities.

Gee, can anyone think of a “nonprofit organization” that is “serving racial, cultural, or ethnic minorities?”

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Oh yea, the Mosaic Cultural Complex. The same LEGITIMATE non-profit organization that was NOT a non-profit from 2012-2014 but still fraudulently collected checks from the City of Worcester during that time:

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Thank God Ed Augustus – an unelected member of the establishment – is throwing more money at this wonderful organization. Without them we would’ve never had the great Lincoln Square blockade or those world famous sewing sessions. I’ve heard there are some lovely quilts coming out of 41 Piedmont St.

Here’s the thing – this is a huge waste of time, just as we knew it would be. Are there people in Worcester who are racist? Sure. Is it rampant. Of course not. I know this because the people they’re pointing the fingers at aren’t the real racists. The people who are really racist are keeping their racist opinions to themselves because it’s not cool to be racist. You’re not going to change their minds with any of this nonsense because they’re not going to any of these meetings.

The racists in Worcester don’t have power and they don’t have institutional control. They are fringe members of our society who don’t actually matter. When the Justice Department leaves they will still be racist and the non-Worcester resident race-baiters like Old Balls, Joyce McNickles, and Keesha LaTulippe will continue to be the perpetrators of racial division in this city.

Our suggestion is the same it has always been – judge everyone based on their merits and character, rather on their skin color. Our three point plan is simple:

  1. Fire Spanky McFarlane
  2. Take away Old Balls’ computer
  3. Stop blockading our streets and turning everything into a racial issue

Boom. Problem solved.

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3 Comment(s)
  • RSoxGuy
    April 26, 2015 at 11:36 am

    Race baitors and hustlers making a buck off the gov again. “answers” looking for a problem. Who woulda thunk it.

  • What could possibly go wrong?
    April 26, 2015 at 10:24 am

    Ask MaryLou’s Coffee how beneficial having the Federal Government come to town to fix discrimination is.

    This will be an opportunity for some nobody bureaucrat to try to create a name and career from him/herself by filing a bunch of frivolous charges, ruining certain innocent people’s lives and destroying the City of Worcester.

    The sh*tshow countdown has begun.

  • mike
    April 25, 2015 at 10:36 pm

    this is special interest lobbying 101.

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