Jack Kanoff On Bad Commeters

If We Rejected Your Stupid Ideas (Like Teaming Up With Alex Jones) Try Not To Get Your Feelz Hurt

If We Rejected Your Stupid Ideas (Like Teaming Up With Alex Jones) Try Not To Get Your Feelz Hurt


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The Turtleboy Sports Facebook page, the Lost Boys of Turtle, AND the Turtleboy Sports Fallout Shelter have been unpublished. While we fight to get them back please make sure to like and follow the Turtleboy Refugees Page page by clicking on the image above, as well as our other backup pages the Turtleboy Sports Safe Space, and Turtleboy Smiles And Sunshine.







The turtle is fired up these days and we’re sick of the bullshit. Obviously our Facebook problems are not going anywhere, and when you compound that with the fact that Turtleboy Jr., who is fully potty trained, still thinks it’s funny to shit his pants whenever Daddy Turtleboy is busiest, we get testy. And everyone and their mother is an expert on how to fix our Facebook problems. Don’t get me wrong, we appreciate the gesture. But we do this for a living. We spent countless hours researching, talking to lawyers, building a case, etc. If we tell you that your idea sucks, then trust us, it sucks. Here’s an example from our inbox this week:

Stop right there. Fuck Alex Jones. I just wanna make that clear. He is human garbage. We are a legitimate news outlet, and you are the company you keep. I would rather the blog not exist than ever have our brand associated with that worthless pile of shit. I would not piss on him if he was on fire. He makes his money by making up blatant lies whenever innocent people die. And he picks up easily duped nudniks who want to believe that everything is a conspiracy. It dishonors the dead, and it disrespects our country and its institutions.

Here’s what he told Megyn Kelly in July about the Sandy Hook massacre:

“I do think there’s some coverup and some manipulation,” Jones said of the mass shooting that left 20 young students and six staff dead at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. “I’ve watched the footage and it looks like a drill,” Jones said of videos showing some students leaving the school with their hands on their heads. “That is pretty much what i believed. But then I was also going devil’s advocate. But then we know there are mass shootings and these things happen.”

Twenty dead kids. Six dead teachers. And this piece of shit sees it as a way to make money by fabricating blatant, easily disprovable lies. You associate with someone like this and you become a joke too.

Here’s his fat ass henchman Dan Biondi days after the Boston Marathon bombing, getting accosted by an American hero for spreading fake news that the FBI blew up the Boston Marathon:

I ran the marathon that year. I crossed an hour and a half before the bombs went off, and was eating in the Prudential Center food court at mile 26 when the bombs went off. I could see the fire and smoke from the second explosion. It haunts me to this day, and I will never, ever forget the looks of shear terror on people’s faces. An eight year old boy was murdered 100 feet away from me in the second explosion. And this mother fucker wants to make up lies about the FBI to capitalize off of his death? Yea, let’s reach out to Alex Jones. What could possibly go wrong?

Nevertheless he persisted:

Turtleboy isn’t right wing or left wing. We’re common sense wing. If you haven’t figured that out by now then you were never really one of us in the first place. You’re just a right wing nutjob who saw us shitting on people you don’t like (welfare frauds, SJWs, Hillary Clinton), and assumed we were Fox News. We aren’t. You don’t have to be a liberal news outlet to know that the Sandy Hook massacre and the Boston Marathon bombings were genuine acts of terror perpetrated by fucked up and depraved people.

I love this stuff. The whole, “I’ve shared some of your blogs so you have to be nice to me” bullshit. Our brand is destroyed because Kevin Lynch is mass reporting our Facebook page? Sure thing bud. And I could give a fuck less how long you’ve been following this blog. If you think for one second you’re part of some protected class because you were with us for Busgate then you’re sadly mistaken. The difference between us and every other media outlet is that we don’t care about your feelings, and there are no sacred cows.

Oh look, an Alex Jones video to prove that Alex Jones is a legit source. I’m sold!!

Once again, the liberal media didn’t tell us that Alex Jones said that Sandy Hook was a false flag. Alex Jones said that time and time again.

So he liked Turtleboy until his feelz were hurt. God I hate these people. They come to us with ideas, and they’re so insulted when we don’t jump all over it and praise them for their BRILLIANT plans that they take their ball and go home. Good riddance. You won’t be missed. But who are we kidding? You’re not going anywhere Steve.

And his real feelings come out.

I love all the doubters recently. You see it all over the comments. Please, keep doubting us. We THRIVE off of it. Our entire brand is based off of the premise that we are the little guy punching up. We take down people previously believed to be untouchable. We started small. We took out some school committee members and city councilors in Worcester. We got rid of some tyrants in Spencer. Then we started exposing State Senators. Then we exposed the Ashley Losapio scandal, Mosaic Cultural Complex, the Mass State Police coverup, and many more. The Turtleboy graveyard is full to capacity. If you think for one second that Facebook is some untouchable entity you are a very stupid person. I assure they have to follow the same laws that everyone else does, including contract law. There’s a reason they constantly settle lawsuits. And we have no problem being the pioneer that punches in the face and gets what is rightfully ours.

Let me this perfectly clear – we will never, ever, ever stop. Ever. We will not be defeated. We will drink the blood of our enemies. And we will do it our way and we will take names of those who stayed with us, and those who doubted us.

21 Comment(s)
  • Alex Jones is an ass but so is TB, Alex jones is just more honest about it.
    December 29, 2017 at 5:36 pm

    TB loves the right wing red-meat but has to keep a certain left of center cred with the left, that’s who admires. I’m not right wing and I’m not left wing… I’m just common sense and Trumps a racist. Alex Jones defines the entire right and I’m dam pissed and righteous as fuck.

    I crossed the finish line an hour before TB in my silky short shorts just like TB and the events of that horrible day give me flashbacks to Nam… I mean the marathon some nights, I cry myself back to sleep and try to focus on dancing with stars. Still clinging to the belief that the left has any use for me other than to destroy, investigate and attack me. The political right that embraces me so openly, I reject their disgusting redneck ways and the men don’t even wax their tummies, yucky!

    Oh and before I forget, remember I went to College and studied education to become a teacher. Education is the one college program that has no liberal bias and I have no liberal bias before or after I became an educator or after I left education to pursue my life long dream of running a blog about drug addicts, hookers and people’s deaths which I profit from, not unlike Alex Jones.. hey what coincidence.

    But I’m nothing like that gross Alex because I care even when I profit off suffering and death. Underneath it all I’m a preppy, liberal in silky jogging shorts, tee hee hee.

    Keep visiting and commenting red-necks I need page hits so I can keep making $$$$$ even though I secretly hate you.

    • wow, commenter
      December 29, 2017 at 7:51 pm

      get thee to a psych ward

  • Jocko Johnson
    December 29, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    So I did this thing over Christmas, where I tied together sausages and hid them in my in-law’s Christmas tree. They were out taking the dogs for a walk. When they got home, those dogs had the best Christmas of all time.

  • el Tigre'
    December 29, 2017 at 11:35 am

    This Steven Anthony dude needs to get over himself…I’ve submitted ideas myself and when I saw nothing, I trusted that the Turtle crew just thought it sucked, and I got on with my life. And as dumb as my ideas may have been, I know nothing was as stupid as aligning TB with Alex Jones…

  • Finn
    December 29, 2017 at 10:12 am

    Mr Benoit,

    For a guy who doesn’t want anything to do with TBS, your “Donkey of the Day” is like the toothless whore cousin of TBS. It’s like you did a giant CTL+C of a TBS write-up and then fucked it up.

    “I’m bringing back the DONKEY OF THE DAY for this one special occasion. This effeminate snow flake thought it was a good idea to try and clown me by saying I cover myself with axe body spray, and wore a fedora until I found Alex Jones…. I’ve literally had 3rd graders come up with more coherent burns than this extremely confused millennial hipster… 1. Hold the fish like a man, you caught it, stop being a pussy 2. Nice ass holes in your ear lobes, you’ll barely notice it when you are 50 and referred to as orejas by the Spanish guys on the landscaping crew you’re about to get fired from for constantly tripping over your ear lobes. 3. What kinda balls do you have, to literally go through 6 different trends in your profile pictures, then project that on someone else knowing you only 6 months ago retired your fedora and traded in your axe body spray for a more big boy scent like drakar… lastly if you have personalized licence plates that say milf hunter on your VW, maybe lay off talking shit to grown men. BECAUSE OF ALL THIS, YOU WON THE DONKEY OF THE DAY AWARD!”

    So you’re basically just bullied a kid that didn’t agree with you. He wasn’t a scammer, thief or internet liar spreading drama – he was just someone that didn’t agree with you. He’s a pussy because you don’t like the way he hold a fish? Weak burn.

    It’s a good thing you didn’t attempt a TBS tryout – I think you would have failed miserably.

    Get Fucked,

  • SJWHater101
    December 28, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    You wasted an entire blog on this asshole? I hope the TB Tryouts inject some new blood into you guys, because lately you’ve been overhyped, underwhelming, and stale.

  • Finn
    December 28, 2017 at 9:32 pm

    Dear Mr. Benoit (government name : Steven Anthony Benoit),

    We *do* have a couple of things in common. We both love Tucker Carlson and Ben Sharpiro. I recommend you follow Trey Gowdy. I could eat that man alive. But I digress, that is where we part ways.

    Alex Jones is batshit crazy — it is incredibly cruel (and dumb) to tell the parents and loved ones of 26 people of Sandy Hook that their anguish isn’t real. Humanity 101. His vapid followers reach out to the victims of the Boston marathon as well because he has convinced them it was a staged event. This is who you want TBS to align with?

    Your Facebook page is a hilly billy’s paradise. It’s chock full of images showing “Number of rapes – blacks v whites”, “Number of murders – blacks v whites”, “Number of prostitutes – blacks v whites”, etc. But, you’re not a racist right?

    You post a picture of a confederate flag wearing mouth-breather and you write :

    “I’m proud of my heritage, my countries history, and my freedom. I’m not ashamed of my skin color, and I’m not apologetic for anything anyone else does… has done… may do later… I apologize for the things I do… did… or may do some day. I’m guessing this guy… confederate flag hat and all… had enough pride in what his freedom means, to chase down a terrorist and ensure that there was a conclusion to the heinous crime just committed. A true American hero, undoubtedly judged for a pride in heritage, and history. The bars and stars was the battle flag of rebels. Willing to rise up against their government for wrongs they deemed worthy of war. Who are we to judge the reasons.”

    Finally, you live in the Northeast – why the picture of you in the confederate flag tee-shirt? That’s kinda weird. Then again, you’re a strange guy, aren’t you? Sweetheart.

    Should I post the pics here for visuals? Don’t worry. I saved them (everything).

    Get Fucked,

  • Soft Peter
    December 28, 2017 at 7:04 pm

    Yeah, but the fork is already in. You’re all done bud, Turtleboy’s built in obsolesce has left you out in the cold son. Tbh, you’re a lightweight blogger bub, but a professional troll.

  • B
    December 28, 2017 at 6:41 pm

    Less money spent on tats and more money spent on books. The bigger the tv, the smaller the library. Think for yourself while it is still possible.

  • The Rant Queen
    December 28, 2017 at 5:31 pm

    Man, he’s sucking hard on Alex’s dick. Dont you just love the ppl who claim they arent bothered by you insulting the ppl they like, but for some reason, wont stop talking about it? If this moron really didnt care that TBS used his idea or not, he wouldn’t have dragged those messages on for that long lol

  • Funny
    December 28, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    “We want to be taken seriously” lol funniest thing I’ve read of yours all week. While I usually enjoy your blogs, no one takes you seriously… except from obvious info wars fans lol that should tell ya something

    • Finn
      December 28, 2017 at 5:45 pm

      “no one takes you seriously”

      Really? No one takes TB seriously unless you’ve been the subject of TB’s blog. Then you take it very seriously. Just ask Abi – I hear she hardly gets a bathroom break because she’s too busy handing out forms.

      • Du youz gotz a bullz hat yo
        December 28, 2017 at 6:06 pm

        So ratchets, scumbags, and Alex Jones dick suckers are the ones who take Tb seriously? Lol I’m not sure if you were trying to help Tb but you made them look worse lol

        • Finn
          December 28, 2017 at 8:34 pm

          Suck it.

  • Turtle of Wall St
    December 28, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    I stopped reading after you claimed moral superiority over Alex Jones calling yourself a legitimate news outlet. All you do is call out shitbag deadbeats that deserve the public humiliation. You’re nothing more than a shitposting troll that I happen to enjoy very much. You’re a way to kill time for 8 hours a day between convincing people to take my financial advice over my competitors. So….if you want to be useful, either buy some mutual funds from me or post nude pics of Didi Delgado and her fat flap jack titties and blown out clam cake.

  • johnnyb
    December 28, 2017 at 5:03 pm

    This guy must be the life of the party…

  • :(
    December 28, 2017 at 4:26 pm

    You made me cry with your marathon bomb description. I wasn’t there but I was watching on TV and I remember those faces you described. It came through the television that day. I can’t imagine what it was like being right there.
    We were in Boston for a pre-planned trip the weekend they killed the police officer. We were actually with a police officer friend of ours and watched it on TV from one of our hotel rooms. I learned that weekend how strong the bond is for policeman/women, he didn’t know him but he took that death hard that night when we saw it.
    I don’t understand how anyone can say stuff like that didn’t happen, or was fake, or our own government did it.

  • Ramon
    December 28, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    Turtleboy is a globalist. Confirmed.

  • hey
    December 28, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    “And we will do it our way and we will take names of those who stayed with us, and those who doubted us.”

    let my record stand that I was never a doubter
    i even tried to help suggest things that would be best cleaned up for a big lawsuit
    that sort of help should be honored and show gratitude, not some guy sending a smashed turtle pic, that is just mean.

  • don’t be testy daddy
    December 28, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    but Steve is sexy AF

    on a serious note I’m really sorry for what you went through at the marathon, I’m an ex- Alex Jones fan myself he is a massive fraud, and it’s okay to be testy but try not to piss on us who try to help cos we obviously enjoy your work if we try to help

  • maaa meatloaf
    December 28, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    potty training is rough man. my kids would hide clean, unused diapers and pull ups around the house when we were training so they could change into them to shit their pants. damn kids.

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