Inappropriate Mom Facebook Page (1 million followers) Won’t Join Our Class Action Lawsuit Because They Think We’re Lying, So Here’s What We Need Turtle Riders To Do
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For the last few weeks we’ve been speaking with lawyers left and right about the approach we will be taking in our lawsuit against Facebook. As you know Facebook is a private entity that can make whatever rules they want. The First Amendment does not apply to them, (only applies to government suppression of speech) and for that reason that’s not the angle we’re going to pursue.
What we’re doing is much simpler – breach of contract. When we sign up for a Facebook account we agree to the terms of service found here. It’s a list of things you can and can’t do, and if you don’t violate any terms then Facebook cannot shut down your page. That’s how a contract works. And as you can see, none of these are violations of Facebook’s terms and conditions:
Obviously none of those violate Facebook’s terms of service. Obviously. It’s simply a matter of mass reporting, which our trolls are dumb enough to brag about by posting their Facebook mass reporting trophy kills:
It’s not exactly a secret either. There are tons of videos on Youtube of hackers showing how they shut down any Facebook page they want to:
We could easily sue any of these people for damages in court. We’d win since they’re so stupid that they’re bragging about it. We’d be able to prove damages caused as a result of the page being taken down, but these are dirty, dirty people. They have no money. Sure, it would be fun to inconvenience them and force them all to pay for lawyers, but ultimately it would just cost us money and the problem wouldn’t be solved.
No, the problem is Facebook violating their own terms of service. They could easily correct this by hiring people in customer service, LIKE A NORMAL BUSINESS, but they’re cheapskates who don’t feel like cutting into their profit margins:
But it’s unclear how much Facebook is willing to invest financially in reliable customer service. Consider the numbers. Facebook is worth about $387 billion, and it has about 16,000 employees. Meanwhile, Comcast, which is worth about $180 billion, has 126,000 employees — so less than half the market cap, but nearly eight times the workforce. Comcast is not exactly the gold standard, but it does have a way for a human customer to reach a human customer representative.
So what we need to do is file a class action lawsuit, because those are way easier, and almost always end up with Facebook settling. Just Google it and a whole bunch of shit comes up. Like this $20 million payout they recently agreed to settle. Our case is much more cut and dry than that one. They suspended our page today because we urged peace, love, and happiness on Christmas. No way they’d ever let this get in front of a judge. It would be humiliating for them to try to explain why we were unpublished.
But in order to have a class action lawsuit we need other plaintiffs to join us. We’ve already got three, but we want more. So we found this article about bigger pages than Turtleboy that have been adversely affected by mass reporting campaigns. One of them is a page with 958,000 followers called Inappropriate Mom. Here’s what happened to them:
Stephanie Streeter is like almost broke down after unpublishing her pages:
“In response to request for a writeup…. My Page, Inappropriate Mom, began as a response to the awful, judgmental troll-moms on Facebook you tend to run into. They tell so many vulnerable women they are bad mothers, spread misinformation. IM was to combat that. We told those moms they were good moms no matter what. And it grew, into an entire website and blog, a brand that I own the legal rights to in Minnesota. Millions of people laughed with us daily, and thousands were made to feel valued. We stood up for what was right. And Facebook took it all away. On the personal side, having almost a million fans, the ad revenue brought me financial independence. I bought a home, and my husband, son and I were homeless four years ago. That was when I started the page. Because I wanted to know, I was still a good Mom, even after losing everything, and I wanted other moms to know that too. But that is all gone now. I never started a mailing list for my website, because I didn’t want to “spam” my fans. I am paying the price for that dearly now. I have been crying daily for two weeks. I am financially, professionally and emotionally ruined.”
Holy shit. It’s our long lost sister. They’re literally in the exact same boat as us. Their blog was created to fight back against Internet trolls and general dooshnozzles. They make money by getting people to go to their blog and generating ad revenue. A large fraction of their audience comes from their Facebook page, which was mass reported by butthurt trolls.
By the looks of Stephanie Streeter’s Facebook page, she’s just your average, run of the mill working Mom trying to take care of her family. She stumbled into her own business by using the power of Facebook and it thrived. Next thing you know it was shut down by trolls and she’s economically devastated. She’s the idea candidate to join our class action.
So we messaged their page, and it didn’t go very well:
Stop right there. First of all, whoever this is we are talking to has no idea what they’re talking about. “It was suddenly back.” This same exact shit happened to us the day after the NewBostonPost published this article about our Facebook problems. Our unexplained suspension was just immediately lifted. Facebook’s policy is clear – they fix problems if you’re a big enough fish. If you have sway with a media outlet that is giving them negative attention then they will fix your problem by making it go away. Everyone else is fucked. Meanwhile, how much money did Inappropriate Moms lose in the 9 months while their page was down? Facebook owes them for that, but they’re satisfied with just having their page back.
Secondly, Facebook can not do “what they want.” Facebook agreed to a two way contract with the terms of service which they violated by shutting down a page that did not violate any of the terms of service.
Thirdly, it’s not “all luck” to get your page back. They got their page back because of this article which was probably viewed hundreds of thousands of times, and made Facebook look bad. So they pressed a button and brought the page back, hoping it would satisfy them. And it did.
Fourthly, this is the NPR piece they referenced. It documents two other people just like us who have lost business due to Facebook unpublishing their pages without cause. There were not “hundreds of attempts” to start lawsuits against Facebook. No one does it because everyone assumes Facebook is a untouchable bogeyman. I assure you they are not. They are a company that exists in the United States and has to obey our laws, including contract law. The NPR piece didn’t mention anyone suing Facebook. It was written to raise awareness, because THIS is going to be the next big thing to hurt Facebook. And if no one else has the balls to do it, we will. And we will win. The only question is, who wants to get paid with us?
Fifthly, we’ve actually sat down and spoken with Facebook’s lawyers in October of 2016. We had a conference call after a bogus suspension and the lawyer agreed to put the page back up AND fix any of our problems going forward. Then she got pregnant and that was the end of that deal. But she did get our page back up.
Clarence was suspended for 30 days after messaging and couldn’t respond so he hit them up on someone else’s account and showed them some of this bullshit we’ve been taken down for:
Her response blew our minds:
She doesn’t believe us. Ya got that? What is happening to us is so far fetched, and so unbelievable, that strangers just assume we’re lying. Even though the screenshots clearly do not lie:
So….do they think we just designed this screenshot ourselves? For what purpose? To fuck with some random chicks on the Internet? Either way, the fact that they don’t believe us only strengthens our case. The story is so outlandish, and so INSANE, that it simply cannot be true.
Except it is.
So here’s what we need to do to get the attention of Inappropriate Moms – we’re NOT going to mass report the shit out of their Facebook page to show them how it can be done. Here is their page. And here is an example of something on their page that would be considered borderline violations of Facebook’s terms of services:
And here is what you should NOT do to it:
There’s tons of other posts you should NOT report as well:
Our aim here is not to make these women are enemies though. Our aim is to join with them. Clearly they don’t get it. They obviously think we’re full of shit. So it’s time for the Turtleboy army to let them know just how legit we are. Take five minutes out of your day to message them for the Turtle, and urge them to join us. Tell them that we are not lying to them. They can’t block us all. If they do then we’ll just keep sending people and NOT reporting their page. This is war. People need to pick sides. Either you’re with the Turtle or you’re with Facebook and the Nazis. You decide.
P.S. While we await our “appeal” for the return of the Turtleboy Sports Fallout Shelter we started a new Facebook Group – Turtleboy Sports Alpha Backup Page. We need a page that’s visible when people search for Turtleboy Sports in case something happens to Turtleboy Refugees. Like it. Now.