Is Isaiah Thomas A Top 10 NBA Player? Here’s The Turtleboy’s Top 50 Players In The League

Is Isaiah Thomas A Top 10 NBA Player? Here’s The Turtleboy’s Top 50 Players In The League

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We’d be remiss if we didn’t talk about how awesome the Celtics were last night in Game 7. They predictably won a game that everyone knew they were gonna win because they had homecourt advantage. Isaiah Thomas went for 29, and broke the game open in the 3rd quarter with a three that put the Celtics up for good. After that it was the Kelly “can I buy a vowel” Olynyk show. And Kelly did alpha male things on his way to scoring 26 points, 12 of which came in the 4th quarter to bury the Bullets.

Anyway, it’s cute that we made it this far, but this is pretty similar to the situation we were in in 2002 when Pierce and Antoine got us to the ECF where we knew we were gonna lose to the Nets, who would then lose to the Lakers. Because the NBA is just predictable like that. Except this time it’s even worse because the Cavs are a billion times better than the Richard Jefferson, Jason Kidd, Kenyon Martin Nets. Newsflash – we cannot possibly beat the Cavs if LeBron James is healthy. It would be sweet if we could just take two home games and lose in six. That would be a HUGE success, and would make Kevin Durant realize what a bitch ass he was for not coming to Boston because he didn’t think this was a championship caliber team.

Anyway, there’s been a lot of talk about where IT ranks as a player in the NBA. Is he better than John Wall? So Uncle Turtleboy put together a list of the top 50 players in the NBA to show you just how miraculous it is that we made it this far, considering we probably don’t have a top 10 player on this team:

  1. Lebron James – Yes, he is the best. By far. Yes, he is still a bitch. But at the end of the day you can’t possibly say you’d rather have anyone but him in a must win game.
  2. Russell Westbrook – Yes his stats are inflated because he’s the only top 50 player on his team, but 10.7 rebounds a game and the NBA record for triple doubles is insane.
  3. Kevin Durant – He gets lost in the mix now that he’s on an All-Star team, but he’s still one of the best.
  4. Kawhi Leonard – Spurs were up by 23 on the road against Golden State on Sunday. He got hurt in the 3rd quarter. Spurs lose. He can score, rebound, and defend.
  5. James Harden – Can’t play defense. Really good at everything else.
  6. Stephen Curry – Exposed last year in the Finals as not on LeBron’s level.
  7. Anthony Davis – Best big man in the game.
  8. Giannis Antetokounmpo – No player like him in the NBA.
  9. Kryie Irving – Balls on this guy.
  10. John Wall – Fastest player in the league.
  11. Isaiah Thomas – Obviously love IT, but it’s hard to say you wouldn’t trade him for anyone listed above.
  12. Demar Derozan – Come to Boston.
  13. Chris Paul – Getting older, but still one of the best point guards in the league.
  14. Karl-Anthony Towns – He’ll be top 5 in the next three years.
  15. DeMarcus Cousins – Boogie is insanely athletic for a fat piece of shit.
  16. Damian Lillard – You forget about him in Portland, but he’s one of the best pure scorers in the league.
  17. Kevin Love – You forget how dominant this guy is as a power forward. He’s still one of the best pure rebounders and outlet passers in the NBA, but he’s LeBron’s bitch now so people have kind of forgotten.
  18. Paul George – Great scorer, but doesn’t do other things like those listed above.
  19. Jimmy Butler – Same as George.
  20. Kyle Lowry – When he leaves Toronto after this season that team will fall apart. Derozon will have no reason to stay there. Gimme.
  21. Blake Griffin – It would be nice if he could actually play a full season, because he’s really good.
  22. Klay Thompson – Butter.
  23. Bradley Beal – Basically the same thing as Klay Thompson except not QUITE as good.
  24. Gordon Hayward – Love this guy. Because he’s white obviously. But he carried a rather mediocre team to the second round of the playoffs.
  25. Draymond Green – Has never, ever, ever fouled anyone his entire career. Ever. But seriously, he is a special kind of talent. Can shoot, rebound, pass, defend, and has magical powers not to foul.
  26. Kemba Walker – Great scorer, not as good of a passer for a PG.
  27. Paul Millsap – Dude still has it. Classic 18-20 ppg, 7-9 rpg power forward.
  28. Rudy Gobert – One of the best defensive players in the NBA that no one knows about.
  29. Andrew Wiggins – Amazing scorer. Will rise in the next couple of years.
  30. CJ McCollum – See Wiggins.
  31. Devon Booker – See McCollum.
  32. Kristaps Porzingis – Moving up. Would be nice to see him play a full season on a real time.
  33. DeAndre Jordan – One of the best defensive centers in the league. Can’t shoot.
  34. Eric Bledsoe – A poor man’s Kyle Lowry. Still really good.
  35. Carmelo Anthony – Fuck this fat piece of shit.
  36. Ricky Rubio – Sneaky good.
  37. Hassan Whiteside – Poor man’s DeAndre Jordan.
  38. Al Horford – Underrated. Great ball control for a power forward, awesome passer, can shoot the three.
  39. Andre Drummond – See Hassan Whiteside.
  40. Marc Gasol – Poor man’s Paul Millsap.
  41. Goran Drajic – Poor man’s Kemba Walker.
  42. LeMarcus Aldridge – Bid decline this year, but still has it when they need him to have it.
  43. Dennis Schroder – Hate this guy’s hair, but he turned into a rising start in the league this year.
  44. Jeff Teague – Solid. Consistent. Good, not great.
  45. Nikola Jocic – Rising throwback forward that no one knows about.
  46. Avery Bradley – Underrated. Avery is fucking smooth man. Great defender, underrated shooter, does what he needs to do to help his team win.
  47. Dwight Howard – Getting old, but you still know what you’re getting with this guy (boards and some blocks) and what you’re not getting (any ability to shoot at all).
  48. Brook Lopez – Kelly Olynyk with less hair and better touch around the rim.
  49. Victor Oladipo – Kind of a bust. He’s reached his ceiling and will be a solid #3 or #4 on a good NBA team.
  50. Serge Ibaka – He is what he is.

So as you can see, the Celtics made it this far with arguably three top 50 players, and no top 10 players. Sorry, IT is awesome and all, but he ain’t John Wall or Kyrie Irving. This is his ceiling, and he’s definitely alpha male potential, and you can win a championship with him. You just need one more piece. And the Celtics are really, really close. You get a guy like Derozan or Butler or George in here and everything changes. LeBron gets a year older every year, we win the lottery tonight, we get Lonzo Ball, and we get more duckboat parades.

It’s blessed to be a Boston sports fan. God loves us more.


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4 Comment(s)
  • June 27, 2017 at 10:18 am

    Es its ja ewiersne, dass es gar nihcst aumsahct, wenn man die Kosnonatnen vetraushct, das kann man dann rtoztdem nohc total gut lesne. -b-r w-nn d– V-k-l- f-h-l-n, d-nn -st d-s s- r-cht-g schxxße!! 😉 Noch schlimmer, wenn man die Striche weg lässt.Auf den VieBasims-inricht bin ich auch noch gespannt, ist doch meine Heimat.

  • Beige Caulk
    May 16, 2017 at 1:47 pm

    I can’t believe Turtleboy has an article about sports. Great article to boot. LIke asking Yaz to play left field in the 75 World Series

    If IT were 6’3” he’d be an all time great. He can’t defend at all because of his size. Huge heart.

    On a great team he’s a microwave 6th man coming off the bench. You see the quick 8 points he had late in the 3rd last night. Imagine that every night.

  • AR
    May 16, 2017 at 11:37 am

    Completely snubbed my man Mike Conley

    • May 16, 2017 at 1:19 pm

      Fuck you’re, right. He was on the list and forgot to put him on. Put him at #20 between Butler and Lowry.

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