Is The Uxbridge Gyspy Church Of End Times Back In Business? We Called Today To Find Out!!
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Is the Uxbridge gypsy cult Church of End Times back? Well, apparently they’re paving driveways again, despite their F rating from the BBB:
If you don’t know these jokers by now then you must be new here. The Stanley brothers are ratchet legends. They just made the Final Four in Turtleboy Ratchet Madness before getting taken down by the Fall River Guttermuppet. They basically ran a church out of their really nice home in Uxbridge, that is financed by their gypsy driveway paving company that takes your money and then doesn’t finish the job. They had families, but they ditched them and kicked out their wives once they realized they could pretend to be prophets and nail troubled chicks via the word of God. Read all about them here.
Anyway, are they back? We called the number on the card a couple times today but only got a machine. Here’s the message we left them:
All I wanna know is, is the 69 car still part of the fleet?
Because I’m not joining a cult where the prophet doesn’t have a 69 car.
Nor am I not joining a cult where groupie chicks from Woonsocket don’t come to your court dates and dry hump your truck:
I’m not joining a cult where the prophet doesn’t do sexy pole dancing and jump into a crowd of 18 year old runaways.
I’m not joining a cult where the leaders don’t have glorious, long flowing locks and gypso-fabulous beltbuckles:
All I know is, if they church is back in business, Turtleboy wants in. We’re joining. We want the word of Jesus, and we’re willing to go through an exorcism, or shine the prophets magnificent gator shoes, or whatever. No way we’re missing out on this one if they’re really back.
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