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If you like committing crime, and you don’t like going to jail, then move to Yarmouth. Because you can get arrested infinity times there and never have to worry about being behind bars for more than a couple hours. Just gaze your eyes upon this Mass Health Monsoon.
I don’t even know where to start. Maybe let’s begin with the obvious. HER???
If that thing grew a chinstrap it would go down to her fupa.
At first I figured we had another one of those dudes who didn’t wanna go to men’s prison so he said he was a chick and the state had to humor him. But as it turns out it’s an actual waddling bag of cholesterol with with two x chromosomes. There’s a meat flap in there somewhere, you just have to navigate through four or five layers of honch so thick that an entire Thai soccer team could get lost in the folds. She’s no BLT-123. She’s just another scissorsaurus looking for a slice of punani pie.
And of all the names. Kelley Keith. Tell me you didn’t think she just swapped her first and last name when you read the article. Let’s be honest – she looks like 99.9% of Keith’s ever.
And the poor Yarmouth Police Department can’t catch a break either. Does anyone in Cape Cod EVER go to jail? What does a bitch have to do to get locked up for a weekend or two? You’re telling me Chunky Brewster here wouldn’t have a good time in jail?
I’ve seen Orange is the New Black. She would LOVE jail!
Seriously though, $40? For someone with 39 freaking priors? Do they accept food stamps?? You shouldn’t be able to get out of jail after your 39th arrest for less money than it costs to fill up your gas tank.
Don’t worry though, I’m sure It’s Phat here learned her lesson this time around. LOL. Just kidding. Same time next week. After all, there’s seemingly no consequences for breaking the law if you do so in Yarmouth, where you can be arrested over 100 times and still have no fear of ever going to jail. Ever.