All-Star Criminals

Karl Stetchmarx Arrested For Pretending To Be Licensed Contractor, Not Doing $170K Worth Of Work, Already Lost Custody Of Several Of His 10 Children

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We’ve covered many a shady contractor before on Turtleboy Sports. These people are the worst. They pray on the elderly and other vulnerable people they know they can get cash out of without ever completing a job. So it’s nice to see that the Maine State Police are cracking down on this shit:

Karl Stetchmarx stole over $170,000 from people, and his sneakers still look like they fell off the welfare truck.

He might not be able to do any of the work you pay him to do, but I’ll tell you one thing he is good at – fucking:

Yea, he made that. All that. No wonder he needed the cash.

On the Maine SP Facebook page everyone who was ever scammed by Sleezy Top came out of the woodworks to share their stories.

The $50,000 bail might seem high, but there’s a good explanation for that:

“Mr. Webber had claimed to do extensive amounts of work in multiple areas. The amount of money charged was astronomical. Even if the work had been done, the amounts charged would just make your eyebrows raise to begin with,” Niles Krech, an investigator for Maine State Police Troop D, said Friday. “He just took money and didn’t do anything and made representations that he did. That, I think, is the big difference between this and the more common kind of cases that you hear about.”

Police were joined by inspectors from the Maine Office of Professional and Financial Regulation and a hydrologist, as they checked to see what work actually had been completed at the houses, one of which had been rented to Webber. The homeowner had an estimate done that showed one of the houses was valued at less than he had paid Webber to work on it.

According to Krech, one reason why Webber’s bail was set so high is because police learned that he has an active warrant for his arrest from Virginia for a similar reason, a 2009 charge of larceny for failure to perform construction. Maine police will let authorities in Virginia know that he is in police custody here, in case they would like to extradite him, Krech said.

Dude’s been moving from state to state, burning bridges and starting new. And what’s the last place you go to when everyone else in the country knows what a piece of shit you are?

Maine!!! This mother fucker was meant to live in Maine.

Don’t worry though, his 10 kids won’t miss him that much since he lost custody of them a while ago and they’re likely in foster care. Or as Karl Stetchmarx calls it – free babysitting.

Someone started this petition to get them back.

Turns out that’s not how custody of children works.

The oldest son also might be in on the scam, since he works for his father’s bootleg company:

Like father, like son.

Meanwhile Ma Dukes is over there going full Duggar and acting like her baby daddy is being unfairly persecuted.

Oh shut the fuck up. None of you are praying. These fake religious people pretend they’re holier than thou because they’ve mastered the art of raw dog. Then they all come out of the woodwork when one of them finally goes down.

It’s a cult. Every time I see one of these twatwaffles write “praying” on Facebook I wanna feed them to satan’s asshole.This piece of shit doesn’t deserve your prayers. He steals money from innocent people. A lot of money. People’s life savings and shit. He took their cash knowing full well he had no intention of doing an ounce of work. He’s done this his entire life, he’s a shitty father who lost his kids to the state, and he can’t even get himself a decent pair of shoes. The only thing he can do is fuck. And God forbid we use the Mr. Turtlebabe birth control method either (the chest). Hope he rots.

16 Comment(s)
  • Crystaline Spaulding
    July 16, 2020 at 7:23 pm

    Finally sentenced to prison today.

  • M23
    November 9, 2019 at 5:44 pm

    He stole 17k from us and my husband is disabled and unable to work. He stole our savings and his son was 100% involved!

  • Elisabeth Hamblin
    September 2, 2019 at 11:24 pm

    He took me for $1500 two years ago and left me with no drinking water. I’d like an update on this please. Where in Virginia? Maybe I can follow the court case.

  • Deflateddoritodinks
    October 28, 2018 at 8:53 am

    Looking at the map I believe Cutler is the end of the line before you have to jump borders.

  • He’s a Yankees fan
    October 27, 2018 at 5:18 pm

    Nuff said 

  • Sir Wilfred Death
    October 27, 2018 at 3:38 pm


  • vic1
    October 27, 2018 at 9:04 am

    He may not have a license to nail shingles but he sure knows how to nail Laura over and over and over. Somebody confiscate that weapon!
    Unfortunately he is the only hope we have a perpetuating the white race, so nail on brother….

  • raxefevo
    October 27, 2018 at 5:49 am


  • Bobby Immunity WOW
    October 27, 2018 at 2:00 am

    This is better than a stolen pastry story but nothing compared to the absolute corruption that occurred at New England Compounding Center who killed 80 patients and sickened 800 .
    A board of phsrmacy member on the payroll who was aware of a pharmacy tech with no license prepating meds. No conflict of intrest or safety violation there. This is the same Mass board of pharmacy that was responsible for overseeing NECC but never seemed to get around to doing so. Corruption and blatent disregard for patient safety and lives was the standard operating procedure at NECC. An agency that was warned of this and failed to look into it. Turtleboy have some courage to cover this story. It is amazing how this company was run. Absolutely sickening.

    • Dude...
      October 27, 2018 at 11:41 am

      Give it a rest

      • Greek Fuck
        October 30, 2018 at 11:50 am

        You still on heroin and 90 lbs shitstain

  • Independent Thinker
    October 26, 2018 at 11:35 pm

    I know this is in Maine, but we have had similar incidents here in Massachusetts. Where is the Licensing Division when this happens? Do they care at all about the consumer or are they just another useless government organization, similar to the Do Not Call List.

  • Burt Hurtensteiner
    October 26, 2018 at 9:57 pm

    How many baby mamas does he have? Come on TBS, we need more facks!

  • Judge dread
    October 26, 2018 at 9:36 pm

    Set his beard on fire, bring him into a room with no cameras and give him the phone book treatment, and send him to the rape ward of whatever prison for 6-12 months. He will never steal again.

    If he does quadruple the above.

  • Deflateddoritodinks
    October 26, 2018 at 9:30 pm

    Who needs to be responsible when we have to pay for your shit? Nobody?

  • Fo Sho
    Not wid my dick
    October 26, 2018 at 7:23 pm

    The family pic looks like the Congo line making it’s way up from Honduras.

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