Last week I published a blog about Keytar Bear, the lovable guy who dresses as Ted and plays music on his Keytar for tips outside of events in Boston. Turns out he’s actually a loose cannon who likes to call chicks fat, claims that he’s the wrong Jew to fuck with, and threatens to kill himself to get revenge when he gets backed into a corner.
Up until now Keytar Bear has been anonymous, and considering what this blog was founded on, along with my own anonymity, it might seem a little hypocritical to care who Keytar Bear is, never mind name names. But then we got this message:
Looks like Keytar Bear likes to take massive dumps at art festivals in Cambridge in front of little kids. Could this be confirmed? Well, multiple people contacted us and identified Keytar Bear as Keney Legagneur of Sutton. And a quick Google of his name brings you to the police log from Cambridge on June 1, the same day as Riverfest, and it does indeed show that he was arrested for open and gross lewdness for exposing himself and urinating in full view of a child.
And just two month before that Keytar Bear was given a continuance without a finding after threatening to kill someone on social media.
If he had a continuance without a finding for a year, and he committed another crime within that year (2 months to be exact), shouldn’t he be in jail? I guess defecating in front of a child is no biggie.
Well, the Notorious P.O.O.P. also messaged our Facebook page last week after he sent a sycophant (or possibly him on a burner account) to demand the blog be taken down. It was a weird message, but we can’t see it anymore because they took down our Facebook page. It did mention something about a lawsuit, but he was acting like he was there to support us. Really weird shit. Luckily he found Clarence and sent pretty much the same thing to that account:
Just to review. The person who contacted us and asked to take the blog down about him was actually a detective posing as a fan. This triggered not one, not two, but SIX district attorneys out of Suffolk County to begin to review and analyze all comments left on our Facebook page. Then something, something about violence, something, something about God putting him on earth to make people happy, and something, something about him working with detectives who wanna hold Turtleboy responsible for….something.
He also sent dozens of screenshots from comments (many of which we included in the first blog) which you can see the voicemail he sent us:
“People don’t know me, they don’t know nothing about me. But her shit, every person who shares that article, they’re sharing Noelle’s name. Technically she can get fucking fired, or this shit can catch up to her 10 years down the line. Like Kevin Hart type shit, nah mean? They got her calling Keytar Bear little stinky whatever beg for kisses whatever and shit. That shit is wack bro. That shit is mad wack. Nah what I’m saying? Y’all mother fuckers went through puberty already, you shouldn’t be playing around like that.
I know this can be a little confusing, but here’s what I take from it:
- He thinks we’re friends with the chick he called fat. From what I hear she’s not a Turtleboy fan, but that’s cool and we’d still have her on the live show if she wanted to come on.
- He’s here to help Noelle, because the comments she left about him harassing her are going to get her fired from hosting the Oscar’s like Kevin Hart.
- Since the blog has screenshots with her name on it, this would be bad for her, as getting catcalled by Keytar Bear can kill your career.
- We are “mad wack,” which I haven’t been called since ought seven.
- Puberty was supposed to prevent us from being mad wack moving forward, but here we are several years later and we are as mad wack as ever.
He’s also been posting weird shit about women, babies, and liquor for several years now.
It’s starting to make sense why Keytar Bear seems to always be getting “attacked” in public now. Perhaps it’s because he’s a lunatic who starts shit with people a lot. And coincidentally he has had multiple people start fundraisers for him after these “attacks,” but has never filed a police report because…..racism.
In response to the outpouring of public support, the musician released a statement. It reads, in part: “To the person who hurt me, I forgive you for punching me and breaking my nose after taking a photo with me downtown last week. … I have decided not to file a police report immediately so you can have a chance to step up and take responsibility for your actions before the police come knocking on your door.”
Taylor explains that Keytar Bear’s decision, thus far, not to file a report is fueled by his distrust of the police. “He has a couple of friends who are trying to convince him to file a police report. And his reasoning [not to] has a lot to do with his race, and how his particular race has been treated by the police for a very long time, and also the kind of discrimination that happens in courts when there’s a white kid and a black kid. And what happens there is usually that the black kid suffers. So he has been very suspicious about that process. Basically all he wanted was an apology.”
In conclusion, Keytar Bear is a fucking creep in serious need of psychological help who should be socially ostracized and embarrassed to show up anywhere in Boston. He recently has been in legal trouble for threatening to kill someone and defecating in front of a child. He harasses women, threatens to kill himself on a whim, claims to be Jewish, and the media fawns over him because he plays fun music in a bear costumer. Then he cashes in on GoFundMe’s after being “attacked” by people in fights that he probably started in the first place.
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32 Comment(s)
He’s gonna be on streaming tonight
His BS bio on Wikipedia is obviously written by him …
Join us 6:30pm EST Tonight for the first in our Saturday Night LIVEstreams as part of #DoStuffAtHome. In Partnership with Secret Boston and Gigabit, we’re glad to team up for a streaming dance party as we encourage you to Stay In, Stay Safe and Stay Tuned!
Watch at the link below on Saturday, April 11th at 6:30pm (EST) Sharp. Keytar Bear plays the first set promptly at 6:30pm and DJ Knife takes over at 7pm!
“Up until now Keytar Bear has been anonymous”
No, he hasn’t. You’re not good at your job. Why are we still talking about this escaped piece of property?
Just curious. Is anyone else thinking this bear is looking kinda creepy?
I do believe that this bear suit has seen the last of its better days and will soon begin to (if it hasn’t already) creep people out and scare the bejeezus out of little kids.
he dew the diagonal kruller crossed her face? say it aint so.
that hot thud hit the pavement and ya heard dinnah bells.
His girlfriend is a real class act too. The Sutton address is actually her place. Funny he’s bashing fat chicks though.
Fuck Keytar bear and his Greta van fleet bullshit
Plop.
Keytar no worrys my friend I see plenty of jobs in future for you .First maybe you could be Liz Warren’s new mascot Chief Pinchaloaf or better yet maybe be DA Rollins personal pooper scooper as she throws plenty of shit.
Wallop Haynes! Dat mean dinner biatrhches!!!
Aint that some shit.
Does a bear shit in the woods? Nope. I guess not.
Is the Pope Catholic?
old ladies foreheads lookin like belgium waffles with some jiffy pb trown in.
You ruined the best comment on here with your reply. Is the pope catholic proves you didn’t read the blog and just jumped to the comments to insert your piece of keyboard bully trash
Did a lady ask him for the “gerry cheever”?
They dont make old fashioned lightbulbs any more.
Some really filthy old biddies like brown clay cylinders laying across their faces. Goodness gracious.
This story be mad wack bro
His surname literally means “The Winner” in French. I’m glad to see irony is not dead.
It’s astounding that some idiot in a bear suit who plays a keytar for tips has received this much fanfare.
Keytar should move to Portland.
Its a paradise and people are free to defecate in the streets and shoot up.plus liberals would love watching keytar as he shit live.
Play dat funky music white booooyyyy
Defecating in public is part of their culture. Whites need to accept this and get over it!
I remember when I was a 10 year old kid, me and my pals started fucking with a black d00d dressed in a “Grimace” costume at some event because he was attempting to mack with some ladies and told us to ‘…fucking get the fuck outta here, kids’.
We didn’t take kindly to that language, and we knew that costume made him uncoordinated as hell, we pushed him down and made him look like a complete tool becasue he couldn’t get up. We laughed hard that day.
Hot fudge sundaes! Where them war horse ole bitches at?
Before I read any further….
“…he’s actually a loose cannon who likes to call chicks fat, claims that he’s the wrong Jew to fuck with, and threatens to kill himself to get revenge when he gets backed into a corner.”
If that was a checklist I do 2/3 on a weakly basis. Still on his side until he calls me fat personally.
After a full read I stand passively by what I said.
Keytar costume is just to hide the fact he’s a giant Perv. When your in a costume, you can push the Perv limit up a notch and get away with a little more. It’s all it is. Hopefully the blog has ended that career.
He brings new meaning to the question “Does a bear shit in the woods?”.
Sending it out for clarification whether ‘in the middle of a crowded festival’ falls under a definition of ‘the woods.’
Awaiting response…..
Upon further review, we’ll give this one to you. Well played!
His advice on checking blood sugar levels and telling people they are ‘fat’ and ‘uncomfortable’ can’t ‘hide behind a dog’ (?) are mildly amusing.
However, I guess when your “job” includes dressing up as an animal, it’s an indicator that you’re all about voiding in public.