Hoodrat Heroes

Kid Cock Punches Car With Child In Back In Main Street Fitchburg Road Rage Video, Grabs And Gyrates Penis In Ceremeonial Victory Lap

Kid Cock Punches Car With Child In Back In Main Street Fitchburg Road Rage Video, Grabs And Gyrates Penis In Ceremeonial Victory Lap

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Get the newest Turtleboy Sports t-shirt (as seen on the Felger and Mazz show) by clicking the picture above.

Get the newest Turtleboy Sports t-shirt (as seen on the Felger and Mazz show) by clicking the picture above.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

 

 

 

A few months back Fitchburg made the controversial decision to turn Main Street into a one way road. It’s horrible. I already despised driving to Fitchburg with a passion because there’s no easy way to get there. It’s right next to Leominster which is GREAT to drive to. You can get in and out of Leominster no problem. But Fitchburg is a clusterfuck the moment you get off Route 2. Try driving from the Route 12 or South Street exits to the John Fitch Highway at 5 PM. It’s an abortion sandwich no matter which way you go. And because there’s a stupid river that runs through it, there’s a severe shortage of cut through streets like normal cities have.

Anyway, once you finally make it to Main Street now traffic is even worse because of the one way street. And things can get a little bit testy, as we saw today in Fitchburg, when a guy named Kyle Dooling shared his interaction with one of the twin city’s finest pony tail clad all-stars on the Discussing Fitchburg Now Facebook page:

Just another Wednesday in downtown Fitchburg. I haven’t seen that level of ghetto dumpsterjuice on Main Street in Fitchburg since last year when that crackhead in pajamas refereed a fight between two gravy dumpsters:

Yay culture!!

Anyway, first things first, the driver should’ve kept driving. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad for the blog’s sake he stayed and videotaped it because it was fantastic ratchet watching. But you got a kid in the car, you gotta get the fuck out of there. Dudes with pony tails are all psychopaths. Everyone knows that.

Anyway,  let’s go to the play by play. Cleetus McGee starts off by punching the back window, so the little girl will think twice about being in a car that gets into a road rage incident with him:

Cleetus, who obviously was on his way to return books to the Fitchburg Public Library, then walked back to his car, but not before turning around and reminding the other driver several times that he was a “fucking loooozzzzaaaahh”:

After that he approached the vehicle flashing the international Fitchburg sign for “hello” – the middle finger:

Naturally when the driver informs Cleetus McGee that he has a little daughter in the car, Cleetus responds with “that’s good.” In other words, where he’s from, getting into road rage and shouting obscenities in front of small children is pretty much standard operating procedure.

After that he wanted to show Kyle the cool new designer jean jacket he bought at Savers with the $20 he just won on a scratch ticket:

“You don’t like it? How bout if just button the middle button?”

But since Kyle wouldn’t compliment on it, Cleetus resorted to repeating the Fitchburg mating call of “fuck you”:

This right here, is the very definition of no fucks given:

Kyle then informs him he’s going to the police with the tape. Naturally Cleetus did what Cleetus had to do when confronted with information like this:

Like I said, never, ever fuck with a middle aged man with a pony tail:

These people listen to Grand Funk Railroad and smoke Lucky Strikes. They are capable of anything.

But the twin city trailer park prize pig runner up was just getting warmed up. After Kyle started taking down his license plate information, Kid Cock then moved on to the next public ritual of your average Main Street road rage incident – the grabbing and thrusting of the penis:

So this guy likes to grab his cock in front of small children on Main Street, punches people’s windows, and attacks people he disagrees with? In other words, he has all the pre-requisites to take out papers to run for Mayor of Fitchburg.

Finally the video ends with Cleetus McGee getting back in his truck and tailgating Kyle as close as he can come without actually hitting him:

Obviously because he wanted to get to the Fitchburg Art Museum before it closed. Because the FART Museum has the best art of all the art.

Unfortunately now the small child is now traumatized for life. Then again, if she’s growing up in Fitchburg she better get used to stuff like this happening.

So what is Kid Cock’s real name? Well according to my boy Tgail, it’s Michael Bryce of Leominster:

You’ll notice they have the same last name, which means there’s a good chance they went to the Leominster High School prom together.

Anyway, this is why I avoid Fitchburg like the plague, but still follow the Discussing Fitchburg Now Facebook page. Because I want to see this stuff happen, I just wanna see it happen from a distance.

 

 

We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM

screen-shot-2016-12-05-at-8-36-43-pm

Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

unnamed (8)

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

25 Comment(s)
  • on it's back
    May 21, 2017 at 9:11 pm

    This cheese dick needs a through ass beating

  • JB
    May 13, 2017 at 2:40 am

    Not the whole point of the story I know, but the issue wasn’t that Main St turned one way, it was turned into one-lane. It used to be two-lane.

  • My name
    May 11, 2017 at 1:38 pm

    lol main st has ALWAYS been a one way

  • Kegger
    May 11, 2017 at 9:19 am

    If this were Texas or a similar stand your ground state the guy with no balls in the car could have shot that idiot and not been charged . Heard in the news this morning he was arrested on a slew of charges .

  • WHATEVUH
    May 11, 2017 at 4:21 am

    This loser was arrested last night, it’s all over the local news stations

  • mystressovmayhem
    May 10, 2017 at 9:40 pm

    I don’t know about the turtlegirls, but I know I was totally turned on by this ghetto Sean “The heartbreak kid” Michaels!
    I totally made a mess of myself when he so gracefully gave “The Fitchberg salute”, and when he punched the window, yet had his strength controlled like, so as not to break it.
    Mm Mm! There’s something sexy about a loose cannon with longer hair then me let me tell you!
    Oh and the crotch grabbing! A man should always grab his limp noodle in front of another man and his child! That totally brings out the moisture!
    No for real though, this pathetic deviant from reality needs charges or his ass beat! Preferably both.

  • Court
    May 10, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    Went to Great wolf in Fitchburg on Mon (I’m from South Shore) driving through all the towns surrounding Fitchburg I got serious douchechills and was like omg this is what TB is talking about… never knew where half these ratchet ass towns were. And that was before I even got there. Still traumatized.

    • ImNewHere
      May 10, 2017 at 9:36 pm

      What part of the south shore are you from that towns neighboring fitchburg gave u chills…. and im sure you expected great wolf to have all the class of disney.

      • Court
        May 11, 2017 at 8:09 am

        No actually Great Wolf was fine, the people there left something to be desired. (I knew that going in that Fitchburg was ghetto fab from TB) I’m from Quincy/Braintree Line so very rarely do I go to that neck of the woods, once I started seeing all the signs for the towns always featured on TB… oh so THATS where these places are. Trust me Quincy is no better.

  • The Wall
    May 10, 2017 at 9:18 pm

    TB,

    We’re due for a good Southbridge story. It’s been awhile.

  • Gtizzle
    May 10, 2017 at 9:03 pm

    Ponytail, Canadian Tuxedo, Michael Jackson-esque crotch grab…if I didn’t enjoy the poon as much as I do, I’d consider changing teams for this prize.

  • XXX
    May 10, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    Both men are losers

    • pwe
      May 11, 2017 at 12:17 am

      Agreed! Who on earth sits there and subjects his/her child to this?

  • bird
    May 10, 2017 at 7:49 pm

    Is he a member of the Church of the End Times? He looks like he could be the long lost third Stanley brother… Praise Jesus.

  • ugh
    May 10, 2017 at 7:39 pm

    50 going on 14, drive-away, he’s not worth anybody’s time.

  • Wtf
    May 10, 2017 at 7:26 pm

    Guaranteed that has reproduced , guaranteed there’s a pack of marlboros in the truck and guaranteed he has punched a chick. I have seen this kind of douche so many times in my life. Such a tough guy. Walk up and hit my car then stand right behind me and hold your tiny penis , I will slip it in reverse and claim senility. I promise.

    • UsualSuspect
      May 10, 2017 at 7:51 pm

      The butts are in his shirt pocket, spare in the truck. What a douche, class is not in his vocabulary.

  • maxs
    May 10, 2017 at 5:59 pm

    just look at him – still in high school mode – he must have been a loser then as he is now – bet his home life must be great – hope he has no kids – what a disgrace – bet he spends most of his time looking for work
    – bet he has done time – what a shame – he just proves you should always use a rubber when having sex with a pony tail loser – guess he has not grown up yet –

    • The Wall
      May 10, 2017 at 9:16 pm

      maxs,

      Enough – with —— the – fucking — hyphens ———————– – — — —- – ————

  • Turtleburg
    May 10, 2017 at 5:28 pm

    Read the drivers/superheros Kyles fbook post from January. “Been a while since I had to hit somebody with a heavy metal object…”

    Dude was looking for trouble come on! Not with a kid in the car!. Keep driving….

  • Azif
    May 10, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    Francis !!!!!!!

    • Smell my beard
      May 11, 2017 at 10:01 am

      ” Any of you Homos call me Francis, I’ll kill ya.”

      Best scene from Stripes.

      • JoeMomma
        May 11, 2017 at 2:18 pm

        Lighten up Francis…the mud wrestling scene was pretty good too.

  • blackwater
    May 10, 2017 at 4:39 pm

    Francis R Bryce from Leominster

    • Talisman
      May 10, 2017 at 5:16 pm

      FRANCIS? No wonder she is a rageaholic.

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It