All-Star Criminals

Legendary Yarmouth Man With 109 Priors Arrested With 12 Bags Of Heroin And Crack Up His Butthole

Legendary Yarmouth Man With 109 Priors Arrested With 12 Bags Of Heroin And Crack Up His Butthole

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Fox 25 NewsA man with 109 prior charges in Massachusetts is facing charges once again, this time for felony drug possession. Yarmouth Police pulled over a rented white KIA for a moving violation Tuesday. Police said the passenger, Wykeem Lloyd Price, was known to officers and has an extensive criminal history, with many firearm and drug charges. Police said both the driver and Price were acting suspicious, so a Yarmouth Police Drug Enforcement officer and his K9 came to the scene. Police said the K9 indicated Price had drugs in his buttocks. At the police station, police said officers found four small bags of heroin, eight small bags of crack cocaine and one prescription pill. 

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Sweet baby Jesus. How big is this guy’s anus? Four bags of heroin, eight bags of crack, and a prescription pill were all up his asshole at the same time? That’s a lot of drugs to fit in your poopshoot at one time!!! I’m not even mad. That’s amazing. What I don’t understand is why? Isn’t the whole purpose of sticking drugs up your ass to prevent the cops from finding them? Sounds like it took Yarmouth PD about five seconds to realize that Wykeem is was clearly possessing 12 bags of drugs in his anus. Seems like a lot of trouble to go through if they can find it just as easily as they could if they looked through your glove box.

Anyway, you would think that after the first 109 times my man Wykeem would’ve got the message. But then again he lives in Massachusetts, the land of 200 chances. He’s barely halfway there. Since the next judge probably won’t do anything to him either the cops should’ve just made him eat all the drugs right there on the spot. Maybe then he’d learn that being a drug dealer isn’t very cool if you have to shove crack into your crack and then eat it.

P.S. I love how this happened at the Cape. The Cape is turning to shit so fast. The only places that really qualify as a vacation anymore is everything east of Yarmouth. The rest is just Brockton’s leftovers.

Double P.S. Who rents a Kia? Were they all out of other cars?

 

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Tattoos Massachusetts

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9 Comment(s)
  • 5k Strikes & You're Out
    March 10, 2016 at 10:59 pm

    I think Wykeem Lloyd Price must be the supplier to all the Trump supporter at Celtics games. Bernie gave this guy 250 get out of jail free cards, he’ll be Rev Wykeem collecting tax free donations 501c3 soon after.

  • Reddog
    March 10, 2016 at 8:35 pm

    Why the hell wasn’t this clown in jail? That’s messed up. What’s also messed up is that he and Clive have the same barber. He must be connected to mosiac somehow.

  • Del Griffith
    March 10, 2016 at 8:22 pm

    Wykeem? That was my mom’s second choice of a name for me!

  • Woodiculous
    March 10, 2016 at 6:58 pm

    You need a Cape Turtle reporter

  • Wormtown Refugee
    March 10, 2016 at 6:54 pm

    Cape Cod = Southbridge and Webster, with salt water.

    • FrankB
      March 11, 2016 at 11:36 am

      ^ people without shit make comments like this.

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    March 10, 2016 at 5:36 pm

    His booty hole is probably stretched out from all of the funky butt lovin’ he gets in the big house. Lots of room for drugs after he gets his fudge packed.

  • RSoxGuy
    March 10, 2016 at 5:21 pm

    Countdown to “THATS RAYSIS!” in 3… 2… 1…

  • Ser Davos Seaworth
    March 10, 2016 at 4:26 pm

    The things you don’t get in “regular” journalism: “How big is this guy’s anus?”

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