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Let’s Not Rush To Blame The Auburn Foster Mother Whose Child Tragically Passed Away Yesterday

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A lot of people have been buzzing today about the tragic, awful incident that occurred in Auburn yesterday, resulting in the death of a toddler. Here’s what has been reportedAll we basically know is that a woman named Kim Malpass, who lived in section 8 housing with three of her own children and three foster kids, came screaming outside at 1 PM with two of her foster children in her arms unresponsive. One of them passed away.

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Personally, we wanted to wait until more came out before we wrote about this because the details matter. A lot. But for now we’re going to defend the foster mother because it’s become so fashionable to shit on her. Here’s some of the comments on it:

if u don’t have enough money to care for themselves or their kids, they shouldn’t be able to foster kids.

how do u do foster care in a state aided homes something doesn’t sound right here

How do you need section 8 but have three foster kids in your home??? Seems screwed up a little to me?

What is a single women doing with 6 foster kids?

I’m not gonna lie, when I first saw this story, I had the same reaction. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that I really didn’t know the first thing about it.

Look, any person who takes in foster kids is a good person. I don’t care if they get money for the state for it or whatever. You couldn’t pay me enough money to do what this woman apparently did routinely. So who am I to judge to her? There were children in need and she stepped up to the plate while I wrote blogs all day.

And that’s the bottom line here. These kids were needy. They obviously came from fucked up, less than ideal situations if they ended up in foster care. So what was the alternative to this woman from Auburn taking them in? Put them in a group home? Leave them with the parents whom the court deemed unfit to raise children?

Look, what happened it tragic, and I understand why people are looking for someone to point fingers at. But if you wanna point fingers here, point them at the people who created this child and couldn’t raise them without DCF needing to get involved, not the one who was taking care of them.

I can only speculate what happened here, but I know the children were 2 or 3 years old. This is Turtleboy Jr’s age range, and I can tell you from experience that at this age it is a CONSTANT struggle to keep him from killing himself. Literally all Mrs. Turtleboy and I do is follow him around and save his life repeatedly. Eight or nine times a day we thwart his attempts at suicide. Because kids at that age deliberately choose to do the most dangerous things possible because they don’t know any better.

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My educated guess is that the kids got into something that’s under the sink and probably digested something with toxins in it. It was a freak accident that could happen to any mother out there if they looked the other way for a minute or got distracted. I don’t know this as a fact, but based on the fact that a) two children were unresponsive, and b) the mother was clearly caught by surprise, leads me to believe that she loved these kids and didn’t do anything to purposely hurt them.

If you wanna say that a single mother shouldn’t be raising six kids by herself, I can’t argue with you on that one. But my question is, what’s the alternative? Are you adopting them?

Finally, people are blaming DCF as well, and for once, I don’t think it’s their fault at all. What would DCF have done? This woman doesn’t have a past history of abuse. DCF doesn’t have magical powers to prevent accidents in the home.

The bottom line is that it’s a tragic, awful, terrible story and for the sake of humanity I hope that this was all just one big accident.

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42 Comment(s)
  • Joanna
    August 24, 2015 at 7:19 pm

    FYI she was a nurse before she decided to take kids some people just love talking out their asses

  • oneopinion
    Hanginpossum
    August 22, 2015 at 1:13 am

    the possum is one luckey guy. Talks to his adoptive father at least once a week and went to UMass Amherst at zero cost

  • Hitman1975
    August 18, 2015 at 11:12 pm

    The state needs to find safer homes to put these kids into. The fact that the Auburn PD has been called to this women’s residences 64 times in about the past ten yrs speaks volumes. What that spells is “DISFUNCTION”. I know there’s a problem finding enough foster parents but for goodness sake it shouldn’t mean putting these kids into substandard and less than good homes. Sad to say but true most of the people I’ve ever known who have done foster parenting have done it for the money first, Not all but a good portion of them. Solid background checks and close oversight would go a long way in helping reduce these type of awful tragedies from occurring.

  • mOJ
    August 18, 2015 at 8:47 pm

    First of all, DCF foster parents make shit for money. $20ish per DAY, so no, it doesn’t beat working at McDonalds and if a job at McDonalds offered the same level of difficulty as foster parenting, the place would be empty.
    This woman probably extended herself in order to keep a sibling group together, NOT to roll around in her foster care millions before bed each night.
    There are lots of kids in DCF care from all walks of life and foster parents should be represent different demographics as well. Some kids live in such chaos at home that they can’t live in a house that isn’t (functionally) crazy busy. Btw applicants for foster care are not exactly lining up at the door, homes are hard to find and even harder to keep.

    So much judgement on so little information.

    cp: DCF doesn’t “make money” or have incentives to place children in certain places. If anything, the only “placement” that saves money is sending a kid home bc parents aren’t paid to care for their own children.

  • cp
    August 18, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    ” It was a freak accident that could happen to any mother out there if they looked the other way for a minute or got distracted”

    This is called neglect! How do I know this? Because my 2 year old got outside for 30 seconds while she was suppose to be watched by a sitter. Because of this we got a DCF case opened against us for neglect. What happened in this supposed foster home is far worse than what many families lose their kids to DCF over. I don’t care what the story is. A 2 year old is dead and 22 month old is seriously injured. This screams neglect and this woman should be charged and in jail. Heck if it was just one child and not two she would still fit the requirement to have DCF involved and the DA pressing criminal charges against her accident or not.

    And please don’t tell me that this woman was fostering out of the kindness of her heart. She was doing it for the money. 3 foster kids = 3 times as much money. I wonder how her home got licensed since it was section 8 and wouldn’t be big enough to fit 6 kids? MA DCF made a huge mistake there by licensing this house (this woman couldn’t even afford her own 3 kids), and the foster mom should be charged with the child’s death. Accident or not, those kids were in trusted in her care and two toddlers just don’t get hurt to the point of death for no reason. They weren’t being watched and that is grounds of a neglect charge.

    As for the bio mother, yes she was wrong to have done drugs, but she didn’t deserve for her child to die. I wouldn’t wish that on even my worst enemy. This is a pain and loss she will have to live with for the rest of her life and it shouldn’t have happened. Personally if I were her I would be suing the state and the foster woman for a wrongful death suit.

    And to the person who said why isn’t the grandparents taking care of the child, why don’t you ask dcf that question? I know many grandparents that are fighting to have custody of their grandkids that are in dcf care, but dcf won’t allow them to be approved because if a child is placed with a family member than dcf receives no money. DCF has a big incentive to place a child in a foster home over a relative’s. I know the law says family first, but in reality it hardly ever works that way.

  • Somfincute
    August 18, 2015 at 9:50 am

    Why blame anyone when we don’t know any actual facts yet? Not saying anyone is innocent, it’s just that they have literally given no information. Everything else is speculation. They will get the results and determine what happened at some point. Until then everyone who has no information should just wait. You’re not gonna solve this from your PC or phone.

  • Jenn
    August 17, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    Why are we even blaming the woman who was trying to help kids, and the system. Blame the dumb ass parents that are birthing children at an unbelievable rate and can not care for them. The system is not perfect and that is obvious. We do not even know the cause of death, and we also don’t know if there was a man in her life that made her call the police 63 times. She does not have a record and is not a drug user. Speculation is not fair. When we have facts you can talk all you want…’

  • August 17, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    Don’t we elect ms DEBOISE luster and listen to jerry Remy tell us someone made an error, we’re talking about an innocent child please let’s show this family some love, or at least show respect for the innocent.

  • Elpres
    August 17, 2015 at 9:57 am

    I read “anyone that takes in foster kids is a good person and that’s it… whoever wrote this is an absolute moron. I want to like this blog… the first article I click on in 3 months is written by a 10 year old.

    • Hex
      August 17, 2015 at 10:03 am

      That’s all you read? Do you always start in the middle of an article? Do you read from the middle, go back to the beginning, and then to the end or do you read from the middle to the end and then go back to the beginning? I find your approach fascinating!

    • Mousy
      August 17, 2015 at 11:10 am

      So, are you saying people who takes in foster kids aren’t good people? Are you in support of bad people raising needy children?

      And why would you want to like a blog that you think is written by an absolute moron? Are you a moron, too?

  • Tngsucks
    August 17, 2015 at 5:51 am

    Ok here is the problem. A person has 3 kids and is on public assistance. They cannot take care of themselves so how can they take on 3 more kids? Shouldn’t their energies be used to get off public assistance? Shouldn’t someone have evaluated the house not being big enough for 6 people?
    I agree foster parenting is not easy and I could not do it but what is the criteria to be one?

    • Worried in Worcester
      August 17, 2015 at 9:15 am

      And the best part is that monies paid to you by DCF don’t count as income, so we are still helping to support her and her kids while she’s pocketing the extra cash.

      • Hex
        August 17, 2015 at 9:42 am

        Lots of self-righteous indignation from the peanut gallery. How many of you decrying the state and this woman have volunteered your services as foster parents? Maybe if you step up, you can all be part of the solution. Wouldn’t that be something? All of you who “know better” will finally get involved and fix everything! Perhaps if you volunteered earlier, these two kids would have been in your custody and this wouldn’t have happened, but you were probably too busy demonizing poor people on facebook and blogs to be bothered.

        As for the guy who doesn’t like single parent(hood) because somebody “screwed up,” who is at fault when a spouse dies? Because, ya know, that happens too. Oh, that’s different you say? How so? It still means a parent has to step up and do the best they can on their own.

        • Mousy
          August 17, 2015 at 11:06 am

          What Hex said. Yes, yes, and more yes!!

          There is so much disdain for foster mom and bio mom, and YES, the situation sucks ballz.

          But…how many of you have donated to a shelter for abused women, or looked into fostering needy kids in your house? How many of you have looked the other way when someone was obviously struggling?

          If you think there are too many unqualified foster parents out there, step up and do something about it. Be part of the solution, instead of being the angry villagers throwing insults and rotten produce.

          • Jenn
            August 17, 2015 at 8:56 pm

            I am a product of the system….

        • helterskelter
          August 17, 2015 at 1:03 pm

          normal people take care of themselves before taking on a bunch of little shits they can’t take care of…proof is right there, one is dead

          • Jenn
            August 20, 2015 at 11:44 pm

            Are you calling these children little shits they are toddlers there innocent they didn’t deserve any of this. We don’t pick our parents. And not every foster home isnt bad but I know personally to foster a child under the age of five DCF requests that infants and toddlers be place with someone even family that they would prefer atleast one person in the home to be a stay at home parent due to infants and toddlers need a lot of care and it saves the state money on child care. Rest in peace sweet angel and prayer for the other child that she pulls threw.

        • Nervous Nelly
          August 18, 2015 at 5:39 am

          I don’t foster children because I’m much too busy raising the children I gave birth too. My husband and I are working, volunteering at school and after school activities and making sure our kids have the experience of growing up in a stable and loving home. Perhaps if others did the same, or at the very least didn’t have babies if they can’t care for them, our country wouldn’t need quite so many foster parents. Trust me when I tell you, DCF does not pull kids out of their homes unless it is absolutely necessary.

  • Nervous Nelly
    August 17, 2015 at 5:24 am

    Of course she started a go fund me account, looking to make $5000???? How about if you didn’t do drugs in the first place and instead chose to be a responsible and stable parent for your daughter? I love the line on the news this morning that her grandparents had hoped to have custody by September- where have they been for the past year? DCF is always hopeful to place a child with family first so the grandparents must be winners too, or chose to have their daughter live with them and allow their grand daughter to be placed into foster care. This is an absolute tragedy, and it is time we stop blaming DCF and start placing the blame where it belongs- square on the shoulders of the garbage that’s giving birth and refusing to care for their beautiful children.
    Anyone who donates to this woman is an idiot.

    • Tara
      August 17, 2015 at 7:44 am

      I think the whole situation is messed up. When a person calls dcf it’s like you have to pick between the lesser of 2 evils, kinda like voting for president!

    • Jenn
      August 17, 2015 at 11:41 pm

      The grandparents that look like they can’t even take care of themselves? Those people? The man on oxygen, or the woman who looked not there? Those people? What a joke!

  • coffeemate
    August 17, 2015 at 5:07 am

    Ughhh…..can you imagine your child in foster care and then dies? That mom must be riddled with guilt. Still no answers from the news sources. With DCF involved, we probably won’t get much more details.

    • What the heck?
      August 17, 2015 at 5:17 am

      If she was so riddled with guilt her daughter would have been living with her and not In a foster home to begin with. I’m so tired of everyone making excuses for these people- when you choose to have a child you stop your nonsense and be a parent period. This is why there are so many kids in foster homes now a days. And as far as adopting them (as someone said above)- do you realize that many, many times when you adopt a child through DCF you are forced to maintain contact with the biological family as we’ll? You’re not just adopting the child, you’re adopting their baggage too.

  • Ser Davos Seaworth
    August 17, 2015 at 4:54 am

    Best line: “Are you adopting them?”

    Spot on.

  • anon
    August 16, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    I was in a friendly’s last week and the table next to us were two humongous fat cruel looking women, very poorly dressed with about 8 kids that were obviously not theirs, also very poorly dressed.

    The kids were crawling all over everything, incredibly misbehaved, and the women spent the whole time telling them to shut up.

    Clearly massachusetts is creating an opportunity where BAD people can make a career of out foster-care parents.

    I don’t know the solution, but it makes me cringe to think of any child being raised in those conditions, with those so-called “parents” who are really just welfare rats who don’t care AT ALL about the welfare of these children.

    • Tngsucks
      August 17, 2015 at 5:44 am

      “Clearly not theirs”
      Because you can’t possibly envision anyone having sex with them?

  • Publius
    August 16, 2015 at 7:59 pm

    Many people take the kids in for the money and it is a disgrace. No way ever should a single mother be in public housing with 6 kids half not her own on our dime. Ever.

  • Cece
    August 16, 2015 at 6:51 pm

    looks like the bilogical mother had set up a go fund me account already… http://www.gofundme.com/9u22qfvg

  • Bethany
    August 16, 2015 at 6:26 pm

    Praying for the child in the hospital and that she pulls through. Yes, people are jumping to conclusions, but rightfully so. The police just held a news conference and one of the police officers said that the foster mother was known to police. Yes, the children were fostered because of circumstances with their biological parent, however, something within this home just doesn’t sound right.

    Glad to hear the remaining 4 children were taken out of the home and I pray that they will remain safe.

    Bethany

  • Jill
    August 16, 2015 at 6:06 pm

    And RJ–suck it asshole. Not a fan of single parents? I was a single mom for quite some time but it’s only because my ex husband wanted to stick his tiny penis in other women and I just didn’t feel like getting on board with that. Also–my product of a “single parent” household is a high honors student , all around overachiever–in academics and athletics, that would be the desire of all those “two parent” households.

    • RJ
      August 16, 2015 at 6:47 pm

      First of all, good for you. Second of all, was that your ideal situation? I said somebody screwed up. I didn’t say the person who decided to be an adult and raise her children screwed up. Your (ex)husband screwed up, but SOMEBODY screwed up. Very few people walk into a pregnancy saying “yeah, everything is going according to plan and I’m doing this one on my own, just for fun”. No. It’s a hard path and I can’t imagine someone willingly choosing it. You didn’t. Not sure why you’re upset with me. If you had to pick, it sounds like that wasn’t your first choice either.

    • RJ
      August 16, 2015 at 6:52 pm

      Also, sorry where I said I’m not a fan of single parents. Should have said I’m not a fan of single parenthood

      Nobody should be in that situation.

  • Jill
    August 16, 2015 at 6:02 pm

    What if these babies were her nieces or nephews? Just because she’s in section 8, doesn’t mean she fosters kids for fun or extra $! Maybe her family got caught up in some shit and they needed someone to step up and help via DCF and she met the criteria. I will wait until more details come out before I make up my mind

    • helterskelter
      August 17, 2015 at 12:59 pm

      read the story numb nuts, she couldn’t even afford a house for herself never mind five kids

  • RJ
    August 16, 2015 at 5:41 pm

    Not saying the woman is to blame, per se…but yeah, if there’s a single mom raising six kids, that’s a completely unacceptable situation. A single parent with six kids? If there is an actual family with less than 6 kids taking in foster kids anywhere else in the state, that’s preferable. Doesn’t mean it’s her fault, but it does mean it was a terrible idea to stick 6 kids in with one adult. I’m not a fan of single parents anyway, since it means somebody screwed up, but to then willingly put additional kids with them…come on.

    • Tara
      August 16, 2015 at 10:01 pm

      “I’m not a fan of single parents anyway, since it means somebody screwed up, but to then willingly put additional kids with them…come on.”

      Are you fkn serious? Im a single mother because my marriage did not work out. The reasons are nobodies business but mine and my exhusbands. That doesnt mean we “screwed up”. I have the most amazing, awesome, loving. protective partner in crime I couldve imagined. He is the best thing in my life and if you have an issue with single parents- youve never had to watch your parents fight for years and then be grateful at 4 yrs old, when mommy told you they were splitting up cuz then you wouldnt be getting woken up to yelling. Single parenthood isnt a disease, its a parent willing to do the job of both parents because they love their kids more than anything on the planet!!!

      • Jafreese
        August 17, 2015 at 9:35 am

        And some of us had single parents cuz cancer sucks. So yeah, hold back on the judgment a little bit.

        • Wabbitt
          wabbitt
          August 17, 2015 at 2:18 pm

          I had a single parent because my deadbeat father went before a judge and said he “doesn’t want anything to do with the little bastard.”

    • Charlei Backer
      August 17, 2015 at 7:38 am

      The only reason she’s raising foster kids is for the income from the state. Beats working at Mcdonalds.

      • helterskelter
        August 17, 2015 at 12:59 pm

        preach

      • JudyB
        August 23, 2015 at 10:47 pm

        “beats working at McDonalds” – or having your shack-up baby daddy rob people when he’s not illegally living in your public housing, robbing people in Kelly Square, or torturing animals…oh wait…

        From today’s T&G – ” District Attorney Joseph D. Early Jr. said Tuesday investigators have interviewed Mr. Mallett, who has a lengthy criminal history. He was most recently arrested in Worcester for allegedly robbing a man of $24 in Kelley Square with a woman, Kelly Labelle, in March. In 2004, documents in Worcester Probate and Family Court showed a mother of one of his children filed a restraining order against him as well.

        Records in Florida show Mr. Mallett was also sentenced in Pinellas County in May 2005 to three years probation for torturing animals “with intent to inflict harm.” In Pinellas County Circuit Court, Mr. Mallett was charged with disorderly conduct, trespassing and simple battery in 2004 as well as grand theft in 2005 and two counts of trespassing and burglary and battery domestic in 2006.

        Ms. Morales said she only knew Mr. Mallett to be a caring individual whom she also trusted to watch her children.”

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