All-Star Criminals

Lynnfield Firefighter Captain Throws Career Away For Mediocre Mashpad Nudist Girlfriend Who Dared Him To Buy A Coke Naked At 7-11


WHDHA 60-year-old Lynnfield fire captain is facing a disorderly conduct charge after his 29-year-old girlfriend “dared” him to walk into a 7-Eleven in Rhode Island and buy a soda while completely naked, police said. John H. Walsh was arrested on April 3 by Middletown officers responding to a report of a man who had walked into the convenience store at 726 Aquidneck Ave. and purchased a Diet Coke with no clothes on, according to a police report.

A “visibly shaken” store clerk, with tears in her eyes, told officers that she was “horrified” at the sight of Walsh’s exposed genitals as he approached the register “with a smile on his face,” police said. Walsh and his girlfriend, Tammy McDougal, were later tracked down on Miantonomi Avenue after the clerk told police that he had driven off in black Mercedes Benz with a Massachusetts registration. When asked by the officer why he was being stopped, Walsh said “It was probably because I went into the store to buy a Coke naked,” according to the police report.

When asked about what had happened in the store, MacDougal allegedly told police that Walsh is her boyfriend and that she had “dared” him to walk into the store while naked because he told her it was “legal” in Rhode Island. After speaking with witnesses, officers determined that there was probable cause to arrest Walsh on a charge of disorderly conduct.

The things men will do for pussy. This guy has been a firefighter in the town of Lynnfield for 40 years and has risen to the rank of Captain. He’s got 2 kids, including a daughter he recently walked down the aisle. He’s probably well respected in the community and I’m sure he’s done fine work as a firefighter.

Then one day he got divorced, got a bad case of the lonelies, went through way too many tissue boxes, and took the first piece of poon-tang pie that presented itself to him. Dude was probably stuck in a sexless marriage for years and the idea that a 29 year old woman would want his mutton dagger was more excitement than he’s had in 40 years as a firefighter. It really didn’t matter what the 29 year old looked like, or if she had a spare crotch fruit tagging along. As long as she was born after the Berlin Wall came down he was sold. Even this mediocre mashpad would do:

That Tammy McDougall is from Tiverton, according to her Facebook page, which is right down the road from Middletown where this unfortunate event occurred. She seems about the right age, and more importantly the most recent two things she posted were….


It it’s a different Tammy McDougal from right near the scene of the crime, who looks the exact age of the person in question, and who seems to have an affinity for noodz, then I’ll take it down. We messaged her for comment but have not heard back.

Either way, let this be a lesson to men of a certain age going through a divorce, or who are thinking bout getting divorced. Your better days have passed you. No woman wants a 60 year old guy with gray hair unless he’s rich. If you do bag a 29 year old like she’s probably gonna be tapped in the head and will likely make you believe that you need to throw your life away by hanging dong in front of an unsuspecting cashier making minimum wage in order to get some push-push. At that point you might as might as well just stay in your miserable marriage and hit up the discount Asian massage parlor for your happiness. At least they don’t waste time playing truth or dare with your life.


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37 Comment(s)
  • Milhouse Van Houten
    April 14, 2019 at 4:39 am

    When she sees you’ll do anything she says, she’s bound to respect you.

  • Axe
    April 12, 2019 at 7:09 am

    His stock just plummeted if he’s in my FD. I’m supposed to trust him with my life during a fire if this is the kind of judgement he exercises? Let’s see how the Chief responds.

    April 12, 2019 at 5:14 am

    This is very sad news. The man should have known the danger of artificial sweeteners in diet drinks.

  • Honest Man
    April 12, 2019 at 2:41 am

    Not the brightest move, certainly. But just to be clear, at 60 there’s no such thing as “mediocre” 29-year old pussy. Hell, I’m in my mid-40s and thank god every day that I have a wife who’s fifteen years younger than me. Even at my age half of the “age appropriate” pool are land whales and she-beasts. Sure there’s some top-shelf girls out there who really take care of themselves and know how to treat a man, but that’s hardly the norm. I can’t imagine the wildebeests that this man was confronting at 60. So, don’t do anything dumb like walk into the quickie mart naked. But if you want to be happy definitely find yourself a girl who is 10 or 20 years younger with daddy issues.

  • Kim Wescott
    April 11, 2019 at 10:20 pm

    I find this very sad.

    Is doing something like this, for a piece of a**, worth losing your fine career, the respect of your children, colleagues and everyone else in town?

    It’s not even like she’s a trophy.

    My goodness, I’d expect a 17 year old to maybe act like this, but someone who is 60 should know better. Threw his life away for some pus**e.

    ‘Shame on her as well. Whore.

  • NewsbreakAppUsingTBS
    April 11, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    Hey To All TBS Bloggers’ and Uncle Turtle Boy…..

    I recently download this app newsbreak mostly trim local bs and the other mostly for national stories with less coverage.

    Because I go back and forth from that app and Turtleboy pretty frequently, I’ve noticed a pattern that I find interesting but annoying to say the least. You guys publish something through actual work and journism, and these guys, right after you post a blog, seem to post their own version of your story using the exact info in your blog. They never have anything more or less than you guys do, sometimes less but I think this is only to make it appear as if they aren’t totally hanging on your coat tails.

    Bastards. Fucking seriously they don’t do any work and have no integrity to be using this blog to generate their own content. They never have any exclusive stories , they aren’t infiltrating feminazi groups on FB … epic…. I’m almost 100% sure they have a guy who sits and refreshed Turtleboy and then as soon as a new blog opens his job is to request write the story so nothing is verbatim and plagarism can’t be accused….then his job is to immediately notify his editor or higher up that he has re worked a Turtleboy scoop, and then the higher up or editor decides whether or not to publish it…

    Download the app and see for yourself.

  • Kevins 9 Iron
    April 11, 2019 at 7:20 pm

    That guy sounds like me when i had a coke/booze problem. I became a whole other person.

  • Chris Seith
    Baby Dangler
    April 11, 2019 at 5:31 pm

    If this guy was sober he should be classified as a level 2 or 3 sex offender. If he was drunk the same but at least that understandable. Just because you got divorced from a succubus doesn’t give you the right do be a disgusting piece of excrement. But then again I live in Worcester and naked dude’s walk around Webster sq occasionally and I only hear about it on TBS.

    • Captain Fireman
      April 11, 2019 at 7:21 pm

      Are you a triggered snowflake? Make a guy a Level 2 Sex Offender because he bought a coke naked?

  • Major and Minor Labia
    April 11, 2019 at 4:56 pm

    The power of the pussy compels you…look, total dumbass move on his part to do this on a dare, so hopefully a civil infraction if possible and not registration as a SO.

    The power of the pussy is an overwhelming force, it’s why we get married. Oh wait…

  • stupidpeople
    April 11, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    I bet they both met on Fetlife.

  • Fire Marshal Bill
    April 11, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    Their union still blindly supporting Dems is more disgusting

  • Peter Griffin
    April 11, 2019 at 2:23 pm

    Wow. Just. Wow.

  • z
    April 11, 2019 at 2:21 pm

    All convenience stores have security cameras.
    We need to see the video, even if the naughty bits are redacted.

    I’m betting he was wearing black socks at the time.

    But, I’m not one to judge.

    • John Henry
      April 11, 2019 at 10:44 pm

      I and my fellows at the Globe would love this and the Kraft video and a jar of peanut butter or baby oil also.

  • randiguy2006
    Randall Guy
    April 11, 2019 at 2:15 pm

    How dare you.

    All firefighters are heroes.

  • bill fleming
    April 11, 2019 at 2:12 pm

    His ex wife is going to clean his clock in court and bobbitt him. Lets get back to the porn queens masquerading as state troopers.

  • Alexandria Occasional Cortex
    April 11, 2019 at 2:11 pm

    Under my Green New Deal, the taxpayers will provide John with housing, food, and access to nature. That way, he will be free to hang around with Tammy all day, every day. We’re also going to get rid of farting cows.

  • Christopher Lettiere
    April 11, 2019 at 2:08 pm

    Surprised TB hasn’t posted a blog about the Julian Assange arrest and what this could mean for the 1st Amendment.

    • z
      April 11, 2019 at 2:28 pm

      Nothing. He’s not an american citizen and it (his part) didn’t happen on american soil.

      They got the tranny and set it free.
      They’d like Snowden.
      Those people are the problems not the guy they gave the stuff to. Even then, if he didn’t order them or pay them it’s not like they were being controlled by a foreigner. Any 1st Amendment issues have to be based on US citizens and not a foreigner who received the information.

    • mopey63
      waiting patiently
      April 11, 2019 at 2:28 pm

      I am also hoping TB jumps on the real news like this. So many of us are wanting the real news to be told. Not a lot of us watch the MSM any longer. I know TB does print true news regarding chuds and CB hat wearers, but there is need for more of the news that the MSM won’t touch.

      • z
        April 11, 2019 at 2:38 pm

        I stick with Youtube lately, until Youtube gets so woke they start banning creators en-mass.

        Sargon of Akkad
        Andy Ngo
        Independent Man
        Computing Forever
        Black Pigeon Speaks

        Ngo is American, the others are not. To a large degree they can say things because they are not in the US.
        Black Pigeon sounds like he’s from the US but I’m not sure.
        A lot of stuff is not US centric, but they cover enough. The clusterfuck that is Brexit is a high priority for them right now.

        • Christopher Lettiere
          April 11, 2019 at 2:49 pm

          Ngo’s work/coverage on fake hate crimes is fantastic.

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    April 11, 2019 at 2:02 pm

    I just got divorced after 25 years.
    I’ve forgotten what vagina looks like.

    It’s still a “no” from me.

    Wouldn’t touch that munter with yours.

  • hank
    April 11, 2019 at 1:57 pm

    The real crime isn’t that he was naked. It was that he put the $2.49 in change back in his ass wallet in front of the cashier.

    • Let me up, I've had enough
      April 11, 2019 at 4:23 pm

      HA!! Nice one Hank.

  • Hart Ford
    April 11, 2019 at 1:55 pm

    Hope Lynnfield nicks his pension.

  • Well, No Shit
    April 11, 2019 at 1:40 pm

    While this was definitely a dumbfuck move on his part, it should, in no way, diminish his forty years of service to his community. Further, if any internal discipline is to stem from this, it should be mandatory retirement. Truth be told, retirement would be best for him, as his credibility in the firehouse is now gone. Maybe they won’t openly show it, but he’ll be mocked behind his back.

    Desperation for female attention/affection makes older men do incredibly stupid things. I hope, though, that this guy smartens the fuck up and doesn’t keep doing this kind of bullshit.

    Be better, Cap.

  • Clive Jive Man Alive
    April 11, 2019 at 1:33 pm

    The real problem here is the chick at the store. No one was telling her to go down on Grandpa or at least shake hands with the wrinkly monkey. What da fuck, there’s someone old enough to work at a convenenience store, but over sensitive enough to wig the fuck out at the site of the .357 sperm gun? Fucking hapu has probably been slippin her the curry tongue and rectum ride since her first paycheck. God damn people. Get the fuck over it. Next thing you know, Clive and Gaffney dildo will be down there crying her a river. Well, at least Clive, that closeted racist dumb fuck.

    • American girl
      April 12, 2019 at 10:37 am

      Really? If your wife or daughter was confronted by a naked man, you wouldn’t want them to call the police? You don’t think a dude who’s crazy enough to be naked in public could be a sex offender? Get real.

      • Rockets Redglare
        April 13, 2019 at 8:43 am

        Depends where you are girl. In Brattleboro Vermont it’s legal to walk out of your house naked. But illegal to exit your house wearing clothes take them off and get naked in public….

  • TJB
    April 11, 2019 at 1:23 pm

    If I was the investigating officer, I would have given him a high five. Of course now the ‘clerk’s going to sue, another freeloader who doesn’t have to work anymore.

    • American girl
      April 12, 2019 at 10:40 am

      The clerk isn’t a “freeloader”, she’s just a woman earning an honest living. At least she works for her money, unlike the welfare bums with EBT cards that TB is always reporting on. Grow up.

  • Bob Kraft
    April 11, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    OTOH, this is an offense that is only worthy of a ticket!! WTF is wrong with da police and NST?. If he wants to play hide the salami with a 29 year old after 40 years of saving the lives of the citizens of Lynnfield, I am gonna welcome him with open arms…. What consenting adults do, is none of my business….

  • Fucking Wackjob Libs
    April 11, 2019 at 1:05 pm

    Just shame them into oblivion or kill me please.

  • Prime User
    April 11, 2019 at 1:04 pm

    NST, so what’s a 60 year old with a weekly amazon subscription for 12-pack of Kleenex tissues gotta do? Asking for a friend ,…

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