Social Justice Warriors

Maia Brown-Jackson Claims She Was On An OK Cupid Date, Drinking Boxed Wine In The Woods When Michael Lacey Pissed On American Flags At Somerville Veteran’s Cemetery 

Follow @Nunchuck_Ninja on Twitter by clicking here.

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and Terrence Collie to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:






Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all. 


Wild update to the story about the Somerville swampturds who urinated on several American flags at a veteran’s cemetery…..

The man accused of urinating on American flags at the Somerville Veterans Memorial Cemetery was on a date at the time, the woman pictured with him told police. Michael Lacey, 31, faces charges of willful defacement of a monument, American flag or veteran’s grave marker, open and gross lewdness and disturbing the peace. A warrant has been issued for his arrest. Lacey has a listed address in Boston and an address in Cambridge where he has been known to stay, according to documents filed in Somerville District Court. The woman, who is not being charged, told police she had recently met Lacey on the OkCupid dating website and they hung out for the third time on Monday, Sept. 10.

According to the police report, the woman said she and Lacey spent some of the day drinking wine at her apartment before walking to the St. Paul Cemetery in Arlington and drinking wine again in a quiet wooded area. On their way home they went into the Veterans Memorial Cemetery, where Lacey allegedly ripped the flags at the front of a memorial out of the ground and threw them between the statue and the wall. She said Lacey made “some type of anti-government comment,” the report stated.

Lacey then said he had to go to the bathroom and walked to the area where he had thrown the flags, according to the report. The woman turned and walked toward the sidewalk as he started urinating and saw a man yelling as he approached them, she told police. The woman told police she did not know Lacey well but had conversations with him “regarding his outlook on political views and his dislike for American government policies and the current president,” according to the report.

You gotta be shitting me. They were on an OkCupid date??? Who the hell takes a romantic trip to the cemetery while drinking boxed wine on a third date? And who dates someone who dresses like this for dates?

Bullshit. She’s just trying to act like it was all him and she barely knew the dude. Bitch, you knew EXACTLY what this maggot stood for. He’s your type. You went out with him not once, not twice, but three times, because you guys see eye to eye. You acted as his lookout. You could’ve told him not to do it, but instead you were an accomplice. Maia Brown-Jackson’s politics are the same as his. You believe America is an evil sexist racist place with an evil sexist racist President.

The two of you were pounding cheap wine in the woods because you’re both cheap losers who can’t afford to go on real dates. You blame all your problems on the wage gap, and the patriarchy, and Wall Street. You like socialism because it benefits dregs like you at the expense of successful people, and you hate capitalism because it encourages hard work.

Let’s be clear – he tried to IMPRESS her by pissing on flags at a veteran’s cemetery. Know why? Because he knew it would IMPRESS her. Because that’s the kind of basic bitch Maia Brown-Jackson is. Then they went back to her overpriced Somerville slam den, read the complete works of Howard Zinn, and gargled down his baby batter.

Tufts should expel her from school too. She participated in a crime, and violated their student code. If she had vandalized the local high school by painting a swastika or Pepe the frog, she’d be expelled already.

32 Comment(s)
  • American girl
    September 24, 2018 at 9:52 am

    I am a female and have not experienced “Patriarchal bullshit”. What am I missing?

  • Aisha Tyler
    September 24, 2018 at 8:59 am

    not once, not twice, but three times,

    THREE TIMES, fool.

  • Liberal Madness
    September 23, 2018 at 10:39 pm

    According to tabloids they say she may Kavannaugh him because on the 2nd date they allegedly both got naked and were about to have sex but he had the temerity to get a hard on before she told him to so now its rape.

  • no really
    September 22, 2018 at 3:18 pm

    why are all liberal women ugly as fck and all the leftie soy boys look like lesbians…oy vey

  • Judge dread
    September 22, 2018 at 12:02 pm

    If I had the capability to send this couple back in time, I would send them to Chile in the mid 70’s. The dictator Augusto Pinochet despised leftists and socialists. Let his death squads have their way with them.

  • Judge on “Creepy Liberal Douche Idol”
    September 22, 2018 at 11:56 am

    This sounds like the almost perfect Creepy Liberal Douche date. Shane, I think the only way he could have topped this one is if they went back to her place and listened to Skinny Puppy while she fucked him in the ass with a police flashlight, but I believe this was still good enough to beat last season’s winner, David Hogg.

    We have narrowed it down people, and now it’s a choice is between Michael Lacey and a morbidly obese transvestite Bernie Sanders supporter who likes for Smith College students to throw salami at him while he beats off to animal porn. Liberal audience, make your selection now.

  • Can Fat Boy be tried in Texas? Please!
    September 22, 2018 at 10:00 am

    For entertainment purposes only, don’t take the law into your own hands.

  • Maura Healey
    September 22, 2018 at 9:29 am

    I would definitely do Miai in the fart blaster,,,I would not even think about first. I would cornhole that bitch dry maybe spit a loogie in it after a while of rippin and tearin that brown hole to pieces. My strap-on never gets tired!

  • MAGA
    September 22, 2018 at 7:48 am

    Long but worth the watch, when you put Christianity first you get people of principle. I know Christians are so evil bc they don’t want kids to have sex and become parents at 17 and they don’t want kids to take up drugs, alcohol, crime and violence. Every story on TBS is the result of lack of practicing Christian values. Sorry forgot the crusades when Christians tried to stop the Muslim invasion of the then Christian holy lands and Europe, yup all those Muslim countries were non Muslim. Just bring up “but the crusades”…. always works on stupid people like the Kaeperdick supporters.

  • MAGA
    September 22, 2018 at 7:21 am

    From, Rick Monday a Hero in 1976…. to …. Colin Kaepedick who is a Hero in 2018 to Nike and half the country. This is what happens when you abandon your culture and glorify criminals, supposedly intelligent graduate students and street scum alike can’t tell right from wrong. Nike says Kaeperdick sacrificed everything after signing him to a booku contract. He’s a fucking millionaire who lost his game and turned down an offer to play for the Baltimore Ravens, wasn’t enough $$$. He was adopted and raised by a wealthy white family, his mother is as white as Obamas… WTF? ….. feelings insecure bouts your black cred homie? Fat flag pisser will get off with 10 days suspended on a disturbing the peace charge and 20 hours community service that he will serve for a left wing non profit.

    • Hughbo Mont
      September 22, 2018 at 10:38 am

      I’d bet Colin didn’t give a shit about BLM or other SJW causes until he started getting his pole polished by his activist GF. It’s pretty obvious he’s just a dumb jock.

  • Narcanista
    September 22, 2018 at 12:21 am

    I had heard the name Arthur Greene floated around the neighborhood as this guys name. If the name was taken from the SomvDC Docket Sheet, then we should send out the standdown on anyone searching for Mr. Green. How did that name come into the picture? These are serious matters. The precise identity is the perpetrator needs to be kept clear so that bad things don’t happen to innocent people due to misinformation. And I do expect that bad things shall and should happen. There should no longer be an expectation of safety for these people in our city streets. If I were a Somerville cop, I’d look the other way when it comes to these two.

  • Turtz McGurtz
    September 21, 2018 at 9:45 pm

    Maia has an enormous social media presence. Graduate student at Tufts school of law and diplomacy (not a law student). Writer in all kinds of clubs and guilds and whatthefucknot. Enormous internet presence. A lot savvier than we are all giving her credit for.

    What is the point of me saying all this? If her story was the least bit true, we would have heard it right away. She would have gotten way the fuck in front of it and controlled the narrative. But – her story is bullshit. She wasn’t an innocent bystander. She was in on it because like all of these ultra liberal Antifa fuckwads she hates America and thought it was funny. She was a participant. She knew what he was doing and she was cool with it.

    This guy is fucked. Nothing more needs be said really, he’s fucked, he is done. He literally will need to change his identify to move on with any semblance of a life.

    Maia is not getting charged. Tufts isn’t going to throw her out. She laid down a cover, she’s a chick, she is going to suffer no real consequences. Its going to be up to TBS and all the turtle riders to make sure no one ever forgets this useless pretentious ultra liberal drain on society. Fuck her, fuck her feminist douchebag professor dad (you must be proud sir), fuck her friends, fuck her enablers and fuck everything she stands for.

  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    September 21, 2018 at 9:22 pm

    donkey punch this mouth breather

  • Judge dream
    September 21, 2018 at 9:20 pm

    She is just playing the bootleg student lawyer card. She probably told him to do it. I like the phrase “slam den” I’m going to use that in the future.

  • Paul Manafort
    September 21, 2018 at 8:38 pm

    Did you know that all of the letters in urine are also in ukraine?

  • Jim
    September 21, 2018 at 7:17 pm

    Another report on NECN from the Globe says the dirtbag, Michael C Lacey, is in RI and police are trying to extradite him

  • Peter North
    Jay U U
    September 21, 2018 at 6:44 pm

    I think a stint in Camp 12 just north of the 38th parallel would suffice.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 21, 2018 at 6:38 pm

    Maia: Whats wrong? Don’t you think I’m pretty? I’m not asking for much (burp). I know you said you want to go slow, but this is our THIRD date! I went out and bought us a box of Franzia and a gram of some Scooby Doo! You could, at least, try to act like you want sex. Look, if you won’t let me be your smegma vacuum, how about just pissing on me….piss on my face!

    Pillsbury Soyboy: Look, I really think you’re pretty and all but I want to take it thlow. I’m just not comfortable with you giving me a bj or me pitthing on your fathe.

    Maia: We both have a buzz from the 7.6 percent Franzia and that nice blunt…and did’nt you snort your adderral? Whats wrong? I think you could help smash the ‘paytriachay’ with me and horse teeth McGhee and all. Cant we just do something? Let me suck your dick. Piss on my face. SOMETHING!

    PS: Ok, look…I want to do it but I’m jutht not comfortable, yet. Hereth what I’ll do. I’ll go pull up thome flagth and pith on them. Will that be good enough? Thex thould be thaved.

    Stay tuned for… Ath The Whirrled Thurnthed

  • Turd Ferguson
    September 21, 2018 at 6:18 pm

    The thought of this chick’s kiver smelling twat, surrounded by a bush of steel wool that would repulse a 40 year old Syrian prisoner, has made me gag on at least 10 occasions. The rolly polly blonde fanook doesn’t improve her look.

  • SIr Wilfred Death
    September 21, 2018 at 6:16 pm

    I guess I’m just an old out-of-touch geezer. Is this how the enlightened, Hillary voting, sophisticated urban young people dress for dates? Have things changed so much that pissing outside on a date is seen as attractive? I hope young dirt people (my successors) at least dress nicely, shower, and spend a few dollars on their dates.

    Bonus: The urinator is clear on this girl’s lack of character before he moved in with her. Gross.

    • SIr Wilfred Death
      September 21, 2018 at 8:49 pm

      Yet another serious problem with this site. The voting function on comments vanished. Uncle Turtleboy, it’s way beyond time for you to make a statement about the technical problems with the site and what you plan to do to address them. If this is a financial issue tell us. People would kick in to get this right.

      • Hughbo Mont
        September 22, 2018 at 10:45 am


        • SIr Wilfred Death
          September 22, 2018 at 4:52 pm

          You are right (sorta). They don’t appear when using Firefox but I see them using Safari. I love TBS but Jesus this has become exhausting. How hard would it be to hire a web designer to straighten this nonsense out? There might even be a Turtle Rider who could help if money is a factor.

          I never see this many problems on any other site I visit. For Fucks Sake Uncle Turtleboy, fix this!

  • Free 'em all
    September 21, 2018 at 5:49 pm

    In the era of “anecdotes” and “dreamers”, it’s great to see him get busted and face consequences. I doubted anyone would follow up on this travesty. So good. Charge him

  • Whitey
    September 21, 2018 at 5:33 pm

    Lets get some one out there to interview their relatives and really bring the heat on them, and see how their family feels or if that had any Veterans in their families. I am sure they are soooo proud of them!!!!

  • z
    September 21, 2018 at 5:14 pm

    You mean stuff I say and do and photos of me can be posted on social media and I can’t control the narrative?

    The fuck you say!!!! I didn’t know that!!! When did that start?

    At least have the balls (yeah she’s a female) to say “Yeah, we did it.” At best somewhere down the road both of them will blame society for them being what they are.

    The sad thing is they probably had grandparents or great-grandparents that were WWII vets. You had to register up to 64 years old.

  • Ray Patriarca
    Semper Fi
    September 21, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    Wow. This guy is a real catch, eh Maia? Third date drinking wine in the woods? From the looks of him, he probably washed his micro grundle a few days before, just for you ! Fucking disgusting twat !
    The Veterans who’s graves you helped defile fought and died to give you the right to be an ungrateful, disgusting slag.
    Here is a novel thought for you, and all of the rest of your ilk: Get a job and take a bath !

  • Ted Baxter
    September 21, 2018 at 5:08 pm

    Is that ok cupid or ok stupid. She went onto a dating site, entered what she is looking for and it gave her a wine box drinking, overweight blonde gay guy.
    Drinking boxed wine on the woods. Ah the care free days of dating.

  • eggsovereasy
    September 21, 2018 at 5:03 pm

    They could have at least spelled “patriarchal” correctly on their bedsheet banner.

  • Y
    September 21, 2018 at 4:38 pm

    $10.00 she has hairy armpits

  • YokelLocal
    September 21, 2018 at 4:37 pm

    She could guzzle my piss. That’s about it though. She doesn’t even look tidy enough to keep house.

Comment on this Post


Angry White Folk Are Calling This UMass Basketball “White Water” Video Reverse Racism
Jesse Jackson: Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Is Worse Than Rosa Parks Bus Driver
Did Minnesota Vikings Fire Chris Kluwe Because He Supported Gay Marriage, or Because He Was a Liquored Up Idiot Punter?