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As Ratchet Madness is going on, I always love to be on the lookout for those that may make it into next year’s brackets. Recent stories show a lot of promise, especially the Brockton Bologna Bandit, the Norton Kitten Theft Mom and the Scarborough Skinflute. Through Turtleboy Sports we have learned how to spot ratchets in the wild. Flat brimmed hats, extra points if it’s of the Chicago Bulls variety and if the stickers are still on. Illegitimate babies wearing Jordans with their WIC formula being sold on Facebook. Of course, the most obvious telltale sign being the Snapchat animal filter. Never did a ratchet ever ratchet without an animal filter. Amanda Morin of Manchester certainly hasn’t:

Last week, Amanda was just chillin’ in her closet when Manchester Police decided to have no chill and bust up her flophouse after an upstanding citizen (or more likely a rival ratchet) called in a tip that her bench warrant wanted ass was hiding down on Prospect street with a few of her closest methhead friends:

“One Wanted Check Equals Three Arrests

Manchester Police received an anonymous crime tip about a wanted female, Amanda Morin, 31, of Manchester, New Hampshire who was allegedly staying at 23 Prospect Street. Several individuals ran out the back door as soon the officers knocked on the front door of the second floor apartment at 12:40 a.m. this morning.

Officer Richard Valenti, Jr. caught Michael Janelle, 22 of Manchester, New Hampshire as he attempted to flee. He located .6 grams of methamphetamine on Janelle who was charged with possession of controlled drug. Janelle was released on $2,500.00 personal recognizance bail and scheduled to appear in Hillsborough County Superior Court-North on April 19, 2018.

Another individual who fled the address was taken into custody several minutes later by Officer Amanda Smith and Matthew Nocella in the area of Elm Street and Pennacook Street. They arrested Brooke Foster, 25, no fixed address on several New Hampshire State Police warrants. She was taken into custody and transported to police headquarters while Sergeant Brian Caldwell and Officer Cheryl Trudeau were granted permission to search the second floor of the Prospect Street apartment.

Morin was hiding in a closet when they located her inside of the  apartment. Morin had a no bail Hillsborough County Superior Court-Northern District warrant for non-appearance and an electronic bench warrant out of the Concord, New Hampshire Police Department.”

Nailed it, indeed.

Michael Jennelle , the methhead meatwallet masher, is more of a stealth ratchet, however and certainly sticks to the stereotypical “I’ve been sober for two seconds, excuse me while I preach” mode of operation:

Ever the humanitarian, he contributed to a fundraiser for an addiction treatment center by donating his birthday and failing spectacularly. Probably because he associates with people who are too busy spending their cash on everything that would land them in a treatment facility.

That’s basically the extent of Mr. Methapotomus’ Facebook page minus a token toilet photo referred to as his “office” where I presume most of his business consists of calling dealers, shooting up and three-hour-long opiate shits that produce a mere two pebble poo that felt like giving birth.

The other two junkboxes are proving difficult to track down, and Amanda, who I can only assume was doing her best R. Kelly impersonation, doesn’t really post anything but animal filtered photos. Who has time for Facebook  when there are drugs to do? I’m surprised she even had time to squat and pop out the fuck trophies I’m certain she neglects. Yep, she’s a “mom”:

And by “Mom” she means, I figured out how to use a Facebook filter.

Do you see how easy it is to paint a portrait of a normal person on social media? If you didn’t know this woman’s background you might look at that photo and think “She seems swell. Would.” because that’s a far cry from this:

Oooooof.

Thanks to Turtleboy Sports, when a turtle rider comes across any animal filter, you see the real ratchet behind the filter. And it seems like Mr. Methapotomus and Ms. Morin are just two peas in a pod as last year she was arrested for dealing methamphetamine:

“ Amanda L. Morin, YOB 1987, of Glass Street in Pembroke, was arrested at 7:59 p.m. on Jan. 29, 2017, for possession of controlled drugs and possession of drugs after an alleged incident at police headquarters”

Fantastic.

Happy Ratchet Madness, everyone!

Have a tip, a gripe or n00dz? Email me! Manchesterturtlette@gmail.com