Truss him up like a turkey and stick a fork in ’em, he’s done
Holla atcha girl: [email protected]
What is it these days? It seems every craptacular dumpster fire we’ve featured on Turtleboy this week has been highlighted because they’re harming the most protected class of being: those who cannot speak up for and/or defend themselves – ya know, kids, the elderly, animals, so on and so forth.
Alex Mathieu, a 25-year-old greasy chomosexual out of Manchester
was arrested this week for diddling the daughter of his girlfriend of 7 years.
I just wanna take a minute here and let you know how flabbergasted I am that the mother had zero idea that anything was going on. Given that this dude looks like he reeks of dirty laundry, patchouli, and brick weed, she just had to know something was up… right?
Apparently not. But it’s no surprise when you take a look at the kind of woman we’re dealing with
A tittoo-clad pajamapotamus! But she doesn’t just have any tittoo… no, no, my friends; it is an infinity symbol with “forever and always” inscribed within it, along with her anniversary date of the dude who was assaulting her kid. Shit you not.
I am not going to name this chick out of respect for privacy of the kid – who, I might add, is at an undisclosed location with an unnamed relative and is hopefully safe from this nightmare. But she’s pretty terrible, too.
After glancing over Mom of the Year’s Facebook, it appears that there are a few more kids her womb broom was around, as they live crammed together with another family in a hovel; trash heaps all around for ~aesthetics~ inside and out
I know the Turtlebabies all love playing amid construction debris and spent tires.
And isn’t this a totally sweet family moment to capture? “Dad” in his cargo jorts and scuffed to the muff K-Mart kicks, one sweat sock longer than the other; his undermoob sweat temporarily staining his grey t-shirt… the baby in the stroller, not happy that his dingy teething toy has managed to fall to the oil stained ground… again. The dog thinking, “what are the odds of me getting away if I make a run for it right now;” the kid hanging out in a demolished truck tire. This is Americana, folks.
Just kidding, that’s trashy doin’ what they do best. Poor kiddos.
It wasn’t long before the internet tracked down the skinner’s meat wallet, and they had some words for her
Her page was overflowing with similar lovey dovey, vomit-inducing memes directed at the man responsible for robbing her kid of her innocence, but she’s since taken the entire page down and gotten the fuck out of dodge (shocker!)
I know it may seem like I am going hard at the mom here… but come on. You have one job as a mother: protect your kid at all costs. Her gut should’ve been giving her all sorts of signals that shit was just not kosher. And she ignored them. The dude – I think we can all agree he is a disgusting, despicable excuse for a fleshbag and should be exterminated immediately. But not before stringing him up by his grundle hairs and torturing him first.
Something like that.
I really hope the kid recovers from this and goes on to live a productive life… it’s always gut wrenching when a kid gets hurt, especially when it’s at the hands of someone they trust. As for the mother… I hope the other kids are ripped out of her clutches before she has the ability to let them down in such a catastrophic way, too. Here’s to hoping!