All-Star Criminals

Marlborough Man Busted “Hugging The Hog” In Front Of Little Girl In Backyard……Again

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Here’s a freaky story out of Marlborough:

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Well….that’s just lovely. What little girl wouldn’t wanna walk into their backyard and find this thing playing couch hockey for one:


That wouldn’t scar a kid for life or anything like that.

Now we realize that you can’t believe everything you see on the Facebook machine, so we obviously Googled this guy. And of course one of the first things that came up was this:


Police arrested a Marlborough man they say was standing naked in his driveway in a residential neighborhood Sunday morning. Keith R. Parslow, 54, of 184 Church St., was arrested at his home at 7:02 p.m. Wednesday, police said. According to a redacted police report filed in Marlborough District Court, a woman called police on Wednesday and said she was driving by 184 Church St. around 9 Sunday morning when she saw a naked man.

The woman told police that Parslow saw her driving by and made no effort to cover himself up and said that she saw his genitals and buttocks. The woman told police that “she was in complete shock and did not know what to do.” The report did not say why the woman waited four days to call police. Parlslow was arrested on Wednesday and was released without bail during his arraignment in Marlborough District Court Thursday.

Let me get this straight. This guy has previously been arrested for a sex related crime involving full fledged nudity in public, and somehow he’s not a registered sex offender? So……what am I missing here? I thought that’s why we had multiple levels of sex offenders. Level 3 are the kid diddlers, and Levels 1 and 2 are the guys who like to walk around naked in their front yards punching the clown. Never mind the fact that this nudnik is single handedly destroying property value one cheek at a time, he’s also a danger to each and every kid who lives in that neighborhood. Dude wasn’t just walking around in the flesh this time around. He was full fledged cleaning the rifle.


Here’s an idea that just might be crazy enough to work – don’t let dudes who have a documented history of showing their nuts to the neighborhood back into that same neighborhood. Might help. Just sayin.


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23 Comment(s)
  • Rdb
    October 20, 2016 at 4:18 am

    I’m thinking that a few of the fathers on church st should grow some balls and go have a visit and a chat with this guy . If the chat goes well, he’s probably not going to expose himself again anytime soon . But I’m just saying…

  • Jenna
    October 19, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    Needs to be jailed, asap.

  • Georgewashington
    October 19, 2016 at 12:42 pm

    Stop voting for pussy democrats that want to fix these people and this shit will stop.

  • Kevins 9 Iron
    Kevi bashed in my skull
    October 19, 2016 at 12:12 pm

    um one correction TB. the home values on Church street are already at rock bottom.

  • Bill McGiggles
    October 19, 2016 at 10:40 am

    Maybe this stupid kid shouldn’t have been walking around in that guy’s backyard.

    • KimberlyS
      October 19, 2016 at 11:32 am

      Um, the mom says the daughter was in her own yard.

  • Ed Augustus
    October 19, 2016 at 9:18 am

    This neighborhood is only experiencing growing pains. What it really needs is a couple of non-profits to move in under the Dover Amendment. I suggest a methadone clinic and a half-way house for girls who won’t go all the way. I’m so glad I live in Dover. I’m hoping to get a work-from-home clause in my new contract. Did you see that I achieved a 100 percent perfect LGBTQ equality rating for Worcester again? The G stands for gay and the Q for queer. What’s the difference , you ask? Well, what’s the difference between Jim McGovern and me?

  • KimberlyS
    October 19, 2016 at 9:15 am

    Is that one of those visor hats with fake hair for bald men?

  • whatevuh
    October 19, 2016 at 8:57 am

    wow – beyond scumbag, And he’s married too? LOL

  • whatevuh
    Dick Hertz from Holden
    October 19, 2016 at 6:36 am

    Here I am . . . . Honestly, I don’t know this guy, I never go to Marlboro LOL

  • Turd Burglestein
    October 19, 2016 at 4:54 am

    That’s not the marlboro man from the pack of cigarettes. Where’s Dick Hertz from Holden to comment on this story?

  • Kick the Turtle
    October 19, 2016 at 12:01 am

    Hey… I read a comment here that we should run peerblock, and then check this site. I don’t think I will be returning for “hot takes”. The turtle sells you out… paid for by no one.

    • Kick the Turtle
      October 19, 2016 at 12:02 am

      oops… I mean us.

    • Kick the Turtle
      October 19, 2016 at 12:03 am

      Oh… the guy is f’n gross.

  • Harry Dong
    October 18, 2016 at 11:18 pm

    I know someone who used to expose himself all the time since he was a kid….until the young girl’s parent had him arrested. I read somewhere that it wasn’t sexual. That it was more of a shock factor thing. Any shrink professionals want to chime in and shed some light as to why they might do this if not for sexual reasons?

    • BobnMic
      October 19, 2016 at 12:13 am

      Open & Gross Conduct/Lewd And Lascivious Behavior. Massachusetts General Laws Chapter 272 Section 16. M.G.L. c. 272, s.16.

      Punishable by a maximum of 3 years in state prison, or a maximum of 2 years in a House of Correction/County Jail.

      This could be a minimum as getting caught taking a piss in a public outdoor place or showing your naughty bids and getting freaky with your stupid bad self in public as well. Either way when convicted you must register as a sex offender levels 1 through 3. 3 being the worst.

      Lessons to be learned: A) When leaving the Blarney at last call – TAKE A FUCKING PISS FIRST! B) When feeling a bit frisky – GO HOME AND WATCH CINEMAX AFTER DARK or simply go and bang your wife, girlfriend, or both.

      Problem solved. No need be considered a Perv…

      • BobnMic
        October 19, 2016 at 1:36 am

        Interesting 3 thumbs down on this. Can anybody fucking refute what I just posted in here? I’m all up for a healthy debate.

        Not like healthy debates really actually fucking exists in here anyway.

        “I’m surrounded by fools and assassins!”

        • BobnMic please go away
          October 19, 2016 at 5:10 am

          In case you haven’t noticed, you get thumbs down because nobody gives a flying fuck what you say and want you to go away! Lay off the pipe and get a job!

          • BobnMic
            October 19, 2016 at 5:38 am

            Look loser that I would never hire. I do not work for anybody. I own. I think I said that several times in here. I make my own hours and roll as I please. I take care of business then have fun because I am the one taking the risks. And it is working out about as great as I could have ever imagined.

            So fuck you. Go to your feeble job. That boss of yours? Yup – that’s fucking me. And when I roll in there late morning and bolt early afternoon while you have to stay – well that is the difference between a smart business man and a straight out fucking idiot such as yourself.

      • BobnMic's Gerbil
        October 19, 2016 at 6:39 am

        Or in your case, you go home and reach in that aquarium full of gerbils, stick a handful of Hartz treats in your bum and proceed to start stuffing yourself.

  • Justice
    October 18, 2016 at 11:12 pm

    Watch poor Heather Etsy get sued now by this asshat.

  • Kevins 9 iron
    October 18, 2016 at 10:53 pm

    Quick, someone use me, handle side first, right in his bum-a-lum.

    • BobnMic's Gerbil
      October 19, 2016 at 10:43 am

      Please don’t drive me back into BobnMic’s anus. It’s such a dark lonely place in that cavern.

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