Hoodrat Heroes

Meet The 7 Douche Dumplings Arrested For Bike Life Joyride On I-93 And Through The Streets Of Boston

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Earlier today we published this blog about the douche dumplings who were arrested after state police set up a blockade on I-93, ending the 2018 tour de saggy pants. New video from around Boston shows just how insanely reckless they were:

Doing wheelies, on the sidewalk, narrowly missing pedestrians while driving close to 50 mph on a city street. They serve no purpose whatsoever. Their existence only endangers real people who actually matter. They just take up space, collect our tax dollars, steal our oxygen, and get in the way. It’s gonna be a great day for society when Darwin finally comes calling for these crust maggots.

The seven who were arrested, including the moron who got shot in the foot, have all been identified. They range in age from 21 to 31, which makes them HUGE losers. It would be one thing if this was a bunch of 17 year olds who didn’t know any better. But we’re talking about grown ass men here, who allegedly need to be able to do this because their only other option in life is poppin caps in the asses of those who sell them skimp bags of yayo.

Here they are in all their glory.

Christopher Cabassa, 31, of Lawrence was charged with failure to stop for police; negligent operation; disorderly conduct; wrong way violation on a state highway; marked lanes violation; unlicensed operation; no inspection sticker; resisting arrest; and careless operation in a tunnel.

Christian Que pasa is the oldest of the bunch, and by the looks of his Facebook page he exists for the sole purpose of reproducing and providing strange women with junior tax credits.

Yup, he’s got a litter of bang trophies sitting at home, being kept alive by the taxpayers, while he’s out spending his Saturday afternoon getting locked up for doing wheelies on I-93.

Guess were Kilbasa’s from:

You knew at least one of these slugpumps had to be from Lawrence. That’s just science. So is the fact that he inevitably owns a plethora of bootleg chains and flat brimmed hats with the sticker still on it.

Next up was Edgar Dossantos Jr., 30, of Quincy. Although he’s one of those Quincy queef barnacles who says, “yo, I’m from Boston dog” because he thinks it makes him sound hard.

Of course when he says that he says it in broken bootleg Portuguese, because Edgar 50 Centeria doesn’t speak a lick of English. From the looks of his pictures he immigrated here from a shithole not too long ago:

And upon moving to America the first thing he did was become a fan of the sportball team that we all knew he would be a fan of:

His hobbies include trying to make cheap beer look glamorous

Doing wheelies

Dressing up like he’s going out clubbin to Sh-Booms while posing on his bike in the living room

And of course special time with friends

He was charged with failure to stop for police; reckless operation; disorderly conduct; and resisting arrest.

Aderito Monteiro, 28, of Randolph, was the one who was shot. Guess who he’s Facebook friends with:

Yup. The Lowell Beaver Bumper herself. Six degrees of ratchets almost never fails.

He also pretends to live in Boston because it’s not ghettofabulous enough to say you live in Randolph.

He was arrested and charged with failing to stop for police, negligent operation, disorderly conduct, driving an unregistered ATV, driving an uninsured ATV and a marked lanes violation. Apparently this skinny jeaned cheddarpoon decided it would be wise to drive his ATV toward a State Trooper and a Boston Police officer on the Exit 18 off-ramp to Massachusetts Avenue. Consequently he ended up getting shot in the foot, received a taxpayer funded trip to Boston Medical Center, and was sent to the State Police barracks for booking.

In his free time (which I’m sure he has unlimited amounts of) he likes to play dress up like an Italian mobster sitting outside of a deli.

He also enjoys doing glamour shoots at the Burlington Coat factory

Doing wheelies

And of course pretending to lead the life of a baller while living in a rundown section 8 Randolph ratchet den.

Next up was our gringo de jour – Shane Fein, 21, of North Attleborough.

You knew at least one person in the group would be named Shane. Nothing has ever been more certain. Ever.

Sugar Tits Shane seemed to have grown up a lonely teen in the suburbs, desperate for someone to go skateboarding with him:

Luckily a group of wild Brazilians and Quincy slugpumps took him under their wing and let him feel like he was part of the crew.

When he’s not endangering the general public he’s doing white people things:

Like going to Bruin’s games

And participating in the most gangsta sport of all time – cross country:

Sugar Tits Shane was charged with failure to stop for police; negligent operation; disorderly conduct; marked lanes violation; driving an unregistered and uninsured motor vehicle; unlicensed operation; wrong way violation on a state highway; and careless operation in a tunnel. Safe to say Shane’s gonna be grounded for at least a fortnight.

Gustavo Arceno-Rosa, 22, of Saugus, was charged with failure to stop for police; negligent operation; disorderly conduct; marked lanes violation; driving an unregistered motor vehicle; wrong way violation on a state highway; and careless operation in a tunnel.

Gustavo Muchacho is from the same shithole town as Edgar 50 Centeria.

Saugus dogs like him know how to play

With a little bit of luck they’ll continue to play like this on their bikes and eventually run head into Princess Diana’s limo driver.

The other two got lucky because they don’t seem to be on Facebook. One of them of course ended up being from Worcester:

Josue Hidalgo, 23, of Worcester, was charged with disorderly conduct; resisting arrest; and conduct endangering a person or property.

William Suliveras, 29, of Methuen, was charged with failure to stop for police; negligent operation; disorderly conduct; wrong way violation on a state highway; marked lanes violation; resisting arrest; and careless operation in a tunnel.

This is our #1 export in Worcester – douchebags. And we just had a bumper crop season.

Anyway, nothing will end up happening with any of these assbags, which is OK because the quicker they get back on their bikes, the quicker they become cement sandwiches.

41 Comment(s)
  • Medlia
    April 6, 2018 at 2:48 pm

    Jose Couto Centeio and Manuel Pires, have them come to Boston, that is why they do not all speak English. They are gang members, and rule Hancock Street. They own every home on Monadnock Street, Virginia St, (Burrell Street) Gang ruled many murders.

    They get Jose or Manuel to sponser them.

  • Lenny from Holyoke
    March 1, 2018 at 8:18 pm

    Fuck that cunty faggot spic

  • Dumpling Mom
    February 27, 2018 at 7:37 pm

    I want to thank you, Turtleboy, for providing some levity in an otherwise tense few days. Your caustic wit elicited lol reactions from family and friends of our douche dumpling. As his mother, however, I must stop short of supporting the portions wishing him harm. You’ll be glad to know that, in addition to being grounded for a fortnight, he can’t watch TV for a WEEK and must write “I am sorry.” 500 times! Thanks again!

  • Gabi
    February 27, 2018 at 1:34 pm

    How about you chill out. You didn’t need to be so rude when talking about these people. Professional bullying isn’t a thing, remember that.

    • Gabi is a moron
      February 27, 2018 at 4:00 pm

      “these people” that you’re defending are putting innocent bystanders lives in jeopardy. Will you still defend them when they kill a child with their ruthless antics?
      Either you have the IQ of a gnat, or you don’t give a shit about innocent people getting killed. Either way you suck.

      • Gabi Mom
        February 28, 2018 at 12:46 pm

        Gabi’s mom chimes in-
        She and one of the offenders mentioned are far from idiots or morons. Top of their class actually. Check your facts before you attack someone for fear of professional bullying. May your child be as blessed with compassion!

        • Not Gabi's Baby Daddy
          March 1, 2018 at 9:47 pm

          No one wants to know what class they are the head of. Keep shutting your ears and eyes off to what these morons did. You will have blood on your hands too. We all know they’re douche bag phonies from outside the city who say they are from Boston and can’t handle life as adults

    • Dumpling Mom
      February 27, 2018 at 7:44 pm

      If this is the Gabi I know and love, thanks for having his back! We all need to feel like we’ve got someone on our side!

  • Annoyed commuter
    February 27, 2018 at 11:38 am

    I really think the state should close down the road to commuter and normal traffic to allow these fine young men an area to express themselves. We would then plant numerous IED”s, landmines and stop sticks to the roadway. Set up cameras, grab some popcorn and watch the ensuing hilarity.

  • whatevuh
    February 27, 2018 at 10:17 am

    Soleil Taty, when you have no education, and no skills, you come here from the Congo, you can get some paint, a paint brush and call yourself CEO of your own painting company ! What a country !

  • I'm louder than you!
    February 27, 2018 at 9:40 am

    “Christian Que pasa is the oldest of the bunch, and by the looks of his Facebook page he exists for the sole purpose of reproducing and providing strange women with junior tax credits.”

    Wow Turtleboy, you sure are giving them a lot of credit. You’re assuming they pay taxes.

  • Pearl
    February 27, 2018 at 8:16 am

    What a bunch of twat waffles! Sheesh.

  • Quack Edwards
    February 27, 2018 at 7:50 am

    Leave the Bruins outta this .

  • Make America Great Again
    February 27, 2018 at 7:32 am

    To bad Pocahontas didn’t get caught up in that CF on the highway. That would have been priceless.

  • Sloppy
    February 27, 2018 at 5:57 am

    I used to rip on dirtbikes with my buddies, and we used to tear around on public roads on unregistered bikes, too.
    However, said public roads were sleepy dirt roads in North Bumblefuck, Western Mass, and we werre just using them to get to the trails. These motherfuckers are doing this around all sorts of people where someone could easily be hit and killed, and moreover, they’re riding in a manner as to provoke (hanging wheelie down the sidewalk deliberately close to pedestrians) .
    Also, my buddies and I were like 19. Again, these fucksticks are in their 30’s, some of them.
    Therefore I find the “just kids having a little fun” argument to be pretty retarded.

  • TJB
    February 26, 2018 at 10:50 pm

    How did hose A and all his cockroaches get the same day off work to perform this fuckery?

  • True Reality Speaks
    Bikers are Overcompensating Pussies
    February 26, 2018 at 10:01 pm

    Just a bunch of poseurs swinging their pencil dicks when they are together in a mob. Get one alone and watch these fake hardos pee in their panties when you call them out.

    • phillyking
      April 13, 2018 at 11:40 pm

      Where is there any mention of bikers? I just see some rubber ring dancers

  • Trump
    February 26, 2018 at 9:41 pm

    Criciuma, Brazil exports only its shittiest to the Commonweath. Criciuma the shit hole of Brazil. I’d rather live in a Rio favela.

  • bigdaddy
    February 26, 2018 at 9:07 pm

    The very first picture – a flat brimmed bulls cap This is my shocked face

  • Beverly Graves
    Kim g
    February 26, 2018 at 9:04 pm

    These scumbags come up route 23 north in Franklin NJ 2 summers ago. These bikers around 5-6 raced away from local cops till they got to Franklin which is a small town and there are 3 different schools that have things going on and kids and their families crossing at the few lights across the highway. 

    The speed limit varies on the highway from 25 to 50mph these bikers were traveling at 90mph 

    One was killed right past the 2nd light in Franklin he ran into a car that was making a left from the traffic going south, the car driver had a green arrow and oncoming traffic (the bikers) had red. He kept going and he hit the car and was thrown off the bike and hit a pole 

    I saw people there praying a few days later and just shook my head cause you could see these similar guys in the pics in your article 

    I feel almost bad saying i could care less and commented that on a local article and got shot down by his buddies on how cold i am and how the other driver needs to be found and killed blah blah 

    The fact is the light is at the top of a hill and the idiot biker couldn’t see over the hill and thought he would play chicken i guess 

    No ones fault but his own and we have bikers everywhere up here but the guys on rice rockets are beyond ignorant 

  • Jose
    February 26, 2018 at 8:56 pm

    DACA, Illegal, ICE, EBT.

  • pro trump
    February 26, 2018 at 8:24 pm

    all either spics or niggers cops should have blown their brains all over the highway
    fear the fucking turtle!

    • True Reality Speaks
      Give a Lib A Throat Punch
      February 26, 2018 at 9:52 pm

      Friends of yours, huh pussy?

  • Wheelie D
    February 26, 2018 at 7:49 pm

    Yo man! What am gonna happen to da dirt bikez? There lotz of trailz to ride in Boston aight like da Freedom Trail my niggaz!

    Whattup wit dat bitchez? When da Pilgramz come to Boston they prolly all ride dirt bikez den da whitey pave da trail an claim dem ownz it!?!

    Free country bitchez!

    Read a history book dog, King George was all like “I own da roads so give me yo money”. But niggaz like Paul Revere, Sam Adamz an Malcom X da game were like suck it England cuz these am our roadz.

    • z
      February 26, 2018 at 8:00 pm

      Scary good. You should get a state job as an official translator. Better than Barbara Billingsley in “Airplane”

  • Leigha G
    February 26, 2018 at 7:15 pm

    I’ll gladly help them get their stolen bikes out of the State Police Impound lot….for a price!

    Let’s just say I’m ‘friends’ with someone who works there.

  • whatevuh
    Dick Hertz from Holden
    February 26, 2018 at 6:16 pm

    DEPORT THEM ALL even if they are US citizens, send them to South America anyway ! Spare us from this fucking trash

  • Turd Burglestein
    February 26, 2018 at 6:09 pm

    Trust me there is nothing hard core about these guys.

    They probably don’t even vape and take it from me when you step out of your Honda Accord and the peeps on the sidewalk catch that aroma of Strawberry/Grape vape on you they know you’re all gangsta!

  • Alex reimer
    February 26, 2018 at 6:06 pm

    I don’t know about DACA but I know I’ve had “Caka” on the tip of my crock pot stirrer. Many many times. I’m a top and I’m not a pissant!


  • z
    February 26, 2018 at 6:00 pm

    Graciela Paulino


    I wonder if s/he was added after the fact for street cred.

  • BlameYoDaddy
    February 26, 2018 at 5:51 pm

    Why no grand theft auto? If they can’t prove they own a vehicle, then they were on a stolen vehicle. 

  • whatevuh
    February 26, 2018 at 5:49 pm

    They will be commenting after they see this . . . . and it will be epic ! How’s it feel to be ghetto fabulous boys? Did you ever imagine in all your young years that you would grow up to be such a waste of oxygen, and an absolute drain on society? Prison would be too good for these good-for-nothing hoodrats, their lives are already over, just execute them, ASAP

  • don
    February 26, 2018 at 5:46 pm

    ICE will be banging on their doors very soon. The slightest little arrest and you are gone.

  • DaTruth
    February 26, 2018 at 5:44 pm

    Everyone of these dudes is a loser. That’s what they have in common

  • Linda
    February 26, 2018 at 5:42 pm

    How did they transport those bikes and quads to Boston? No way they drove them there. Find the delivery trailer and take that too.

    • I see You
      February 27, 2018 at 5:26 pm

      They keep them in a storage facility across from South Bay Jail, I see them pulling them in and out of there all the time.

    February 26, 2018 at 5:39 pm

    I admit, I’ve never heard of Cric….crici….errr…..Criciúma until I read this blog.

    • whatevuh
      February 27, 2018 at 5:47 pm

      Let the cops know about it, so they can stake it out and catch these fucking shit-stains

  • Jack Mehoff
    February 26, 2018 at 5:24 pm

    I just have to wonder how many of these useless slugs are “DACA” recipients. I bet many of them are
    “DREAMERS” in addition to being taxpayer supported in addition to countless little bastards that they are letting us pay for.

  • citypoint
    February 26, 2018 at 5:20 pm

    Did Aderito pick up the adidas track suit at Ben Afflecks yard sale?

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