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We’ve gotten so many requests from turtle riders to do re-runs of our greatest hits, so we decided to add a new category – This Day In Turtleboy. We’ll be reblogging some of our greatest hits that happened on around this day in Turtleboy.
So you all caught the gem from our friends at the New Bedford Guide yesterday.
Two Foodstampopotamai hanging out the windows of a second-story window screaming,” Free my son, N—a!” This, of course, all happened while the police arrested the kid we thought they were flipping out about.
Turns out that they had absolutely nothing to do with the arrest of Rafeal Vega. Of course it didn’t! It’s New Bedford. They were actually screaming for the release of this fine specimen who stabbed a guy when his dog shit near his house.
I just love the guys that run that paper. They have the best sense of humor.
It took next to no time for girlfriend Amanda Parvo, who was NB famous for a hot minute, when she ran away from home a while back, to admit that she was she one in the video. Turtleriders figured out the mom seconds later. The profiles are everything you thought they would be an more.
(SEE? PCA!) Elizabeth is the mother of the year. She has this uncanny ability to look like a bingo-winged thug in almost all of her photos. You can almost hear her grunting, like an EBT-sniffing truffle hog, while in her natural habitat.
“I’ve seen better legs on a discarded table,” said Turtlerider Tom, when he saw this.
That might be the greatest set of elbow bangs I’ve ever seen in my life. If she did the chicken dance she would actually take flight. It’s also totally normal to turn your back and scowl at the camera for all your family pictures. She looks like she’s on a Bone Thugs and Ratchetry album cover.
She, of course, thinks she is sexual chorizo. Note: the bear bong on the headboard.
She also had her wedding ceremony on Facebook. I now pronounce you Mr. & Mrs Wizop.
But I doubt that ceremony is going to help her immigration woes and save her from being deported:
She also said that she was tired of her house being a drug den and was going to be cleaning up people hanging out. Sounds like she might be the one who snitched on Vega.
She thinks that criminals should get fines instead of jail time – and let the world know by sidewalk chalking it on the front of the courthouse steps:
Lenine’s father, Boston George, thinks that the only reason his kid is in jail is because Elizabeth snitched on him way back when for carrying a gun. He was sent back to his own county for it. They, of course, duked this all out of Facebook:
And of course we have the girlfriend who hung out a second-story window while braless and preggers:
Now, I’m not totally sure that Amanda is even 18 yet. We know she’s pregnant with a baby we will all be taking care of and went missing in 2015 at the age of 16. Something tells me this is the house she was hiding out at.
These two government cheesehogs live on the second floor. Grandmama ratchet, who owns the house, lives on the first floor. The fentanyl-selling queefbag, under arrest that day, lives on the third. Sounds like a great place to raise many kids from many baby daddies.
It’s like Welfare Abuse Farm. Where only the finest meats and cheeses come from.
We had one Turtlerider chime in who knew these slobs.
Well, my head is spinning. Who knew this pair was going to be the giving tree of trashy tales.
New Bedford is one of those vast, untapped, resources. We need someone to start a New Bedford community page out there. An Uncensored one would be a gift from the Turtlegods. Let us know if someone ends up making one.