Meet The Two Worcester Cheesehogs At The Center Of The Auburn Mall Donnybrook
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This morning we shared one of the most epic videos in the history of Turtleboy Sports – a bunch of Worcester cheesehogs drowning themselves in a sea of ghetto Christmas joy at the Auburn Mall as Santa watched in disbelief from the Tutti Fruitis:
We obviously wanted to find out who these brawling beach body coaches were, and in no time we got two names. Let’s find out a little bit more about Worcester’s two most infamous Friday hoodrats.
First let’s start with this one:
This is the one who was telling the cop that she was gonna get her lawyer to go after him. Because this gender non-conforming Worcester Bling Bling reject obviously has a lawyer on retainer just for situations like this. Obviously.
Her name is Eliabeth Grajales. Because consonants are overrated anyway. Although that may be the post-transition spelling of it. Not too sure.
One thing we do know for sure is that she’s no stranger to the courthouse records.
She’s also a bathroom selfie queen.
She saved Orlando from the terrorists.
She likes Red Bull.
And she’s a big fan of that viral video that asshat junkie put up where he tells his kid that his mom died from a heroin overdose.
Believe it or not this Maury Povich also-ran reproduced.
But she doesn’t really like taking her kid out in public because the odds are just too great that she’ll run into someone she has to fight.
Guess that means the lil man wasn’t at the Auburn Mall yesterday. Hope he doesn’t read Turtleboy!
Not the first time she’s woken up on the wrong side of the bed
Maybe it’s because she’s having problems with the ol’ ball and chain.
Wait……..so she’s into chicks, but she gave birth to a child. Hoodrat lifestyle is confusing.
Oh, and for all the idiots who said we were stereotyping or jumping to conclusions when we suggested that these prom queens are likely from some dump like Plumley Village……there’s a reason stereotypes exist.
Anyway, we are told that ratchet #2 is this lovely lady:
And in the least surprising turn of events ever, she also reproduced.
Yes, that’s right. Someone saw this:
And said, “I’m going to impregnate that.”
And in the ultimate twist of irony, Ramos Ninnie doesn’t like “fat bitches.” And she’s allowed to say that because she’s a self-described “chunky, thick, and beautiful.” Oh, and she’s an “educated”woman with a “career.”
I don’t know what 90% of that means, but based on the lack of any punctuation it sounds important.
Some may ask, “why would you fight another woman in the Auburn Mall and then pick a fight with the cop who’s trying to calm your tits?” Well, she has a foolproof excuse:
So there you have it. I think we now know two gravy dumpster that Santa won’t be visiting this year. Looks like they’ll have to rely on the EBT fairy once again if they wanna have a Merry Christmas. They better hope the bail bondsman accepts food stamps.
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