All-Star Criminals

Milford Muff Marauder Who Smashed Into Cop Car After 5 Millionth DUI Has Been Getting Away With Ratchetry For So Long Because She’s Got A Sweet Badunkadunk

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here

Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever, the newest Turtleboy Sports page and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:







Milford Daily NewsA Milford woman, already facing a drunken-driving charge in Worcester, was ordered held Thursday, hours after police say she drunkenly slammed her car into a cruiser, injuring an officer. Emily Cicconi, 22, of 1 Eugene Circle, was arraigned in Milford District Court on several charges following the early-morning crash that authorities said left Milford Police Officer Steven Sousa with a concussion and other injuries. Cicconi’s black 2011 Lexus sedan ran a flashing red light as she traveled eastbound on West Street and crashed into Sousa’s police cruiser, which was going north on Congress Street about 1:35 a.m., according to police. Police found drugs and bottles of booze in her car. A breath test conducted at the scene showed Cicconi’s blood alcohol content was approximately .149 – nearly twice the legal limit, according to an arrest report on file in court.

Cicconi, who was teary-eyed and in shackles during the hearing, was ordered held on $1,000 cash bail, although bail is moot. In light of her latest arrest, a probation violation arrest warrant was issued for a separate case involving Cicconi in Westborough. With her arrest Thursday, Cicconi violated her probation in a May 2017 in Westborough District Court case in which she was charged with trespassing and destruction of property, according to the court clerk’s office.

 The arrest report on file, written by Milford Police Officer Antonio Dinis, says Cicconi had difficulty completing three field sobriety tests following the crash. She told police both she and the passenger drank alcohol at a local bar that night, and that she stepped on the gas pedal to beat the intersection’s flashing red light.

“Cicconi was very (adamant) about driving her vehicle away. It should be noted her vehicle was completely totaled with all the airbags deployed,” Dinis wrote. “As she spoke, a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage was emanating from her facial area. She also had red, bloodshot, glassy eyes. When she spoke her speech was slow, thick and slurred.”

In the car, police found several open and full alcohol nip bottles; a 30-megagram oxycodone pill; and a large amount of an unidentified drug, the report states. Authorities also seized 22 large bottle rockets and one fountain-style firework that Cicconi told police the pair intended to ignite, according to the report. During an interview with a Massachusetts State Police drug recognition officer, Cicconi said she “took as many drugs as she could this past week” and takes up to 10 grams of cocaine a night when she is able to obtain it.

“She also stated that (she) used cocaine this morning and smokes a lot of weed,” Dinis wrote.

Cicconi has a pending case in Worcester that alleges she drove with a .17 blood alcohol content level on her 21st birthday before crashing her vehicle last year, prosecutors said. In a Milford case filed in June 2017, she faces charges of leaving the scene of property damage; failing to stop/yield; and failing to yield at an intersection after police said she crashed into another vehicle at the intersections of Dilla and West streets. Cicconi is a lifelong Milford resident and attends weekly counseling for attention-deficit disorder, depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder, Schulman said.

Damn girl, who do you think you are? A Kennedy? And who the hell drives on their 21st birthday? What kind of friends does this chick have? That’s like the one night of your life when people should be lining up to drive your drunkard ass around. Get some better friends girl. You shouldn’t be drinking and driving to begin with, but what’s even worse is you’re clearly not good at it, yet you keep trying anyway.

Look, this chick is an obvious danger and she should never be allowed to have a license again. Pretty much every picture on her Facebook page involves her holding a container of booze:

Cool friends. Can’t even drive your ass around once. Just fucking ONCE!!

As you can see, she’s not your typical pillhead ratchet. She’s actually a junior smokeshow extraordinaire when she’s not all fucked up on OC’s and crashing into cop cars:

And this is how she talks:

Yea, she’s one of those. I feel really old that I can’t even remember what it’s like having to pretend to be interested in what babes like this have to say about anything.

But alas, this is the source of her problems. She’s been getting away with everything for the last few years because…..dat ass.

Look at the date on this picture:

December 30, 2015. She’s currently 22. She could be no older than 20 when this picture was taken. Yet there she is in what is clearly a bar, holding what is clearly a beer, and about to suck face with another chick because she seeks self-validation from horny men by pretending to be a lezbo.

Look, I know people drink before they’re 21 and I have zero problem with it. We all did it. We’re the only country in the world with these ridiculous laws that allow us to die for our country and be treated as an adult in every other way at the age of 18, except when it comes to booze.

But the fact of the matter is that bars get away with letting chicks like her in because every bar in America is looking for hot chicks. Hot chicks attract horny dudes who spend money, tip well, and then tell more horny dudes to come down next week. Any hot chick with a bad fake ID can get into pretty much any bar she wants to. Dudes have to get a REALLY good one, unless they’re going out in Providence. Whatever bar is pictured in that Facebook pic should get fined like any other bar would. The proof is right there in front of you.

The bottom line is that this chick didn’t just become a junkie/drunkard/cokehead. Her ass got her everything she wanted, no one ever told her no, and she’s come to believe that rules and laws don’t apply to her. Consequently everyone in Milford is in danger so long as she’s on the roads, including the cops. Eventually if she is allowed to continue on this path of destruction she will kill someone. It’s inevitable.

33 Comment(s)
  • Just a lowly private sector guy
    May 6, 2018 at 9:34 am

    Not for nothing but the officer should have looked both ways before entering an intersection with a flashing red at 1:30 AM on the weekend. By the looks of the damage she was doing at least 35-40 and obviously showed no signs of yielding. Not putting blame in the wrong hands but this crash probably could’ve been avoided….

    • Hughbo Mont
      May 6, 2018 at 10:56 am

      No, you’re just a lowly retard.

      • Steve
        May 7, 2018 at 9:05 am

        My driver’s ed instructor taught us to look both ways before entering an intersection on the 2nd day.

      • karma is a bitch
        May 8, 2018 at 2:48 am

        Know her personally used to be friends with her and no this is karma shes been getting way with shit for years while judging everyone else typical Regina George bullshit oh well

    • Ray Patriarca
      Karma is real
      May 6, 2018 at 12:59 pm

      And your idiocy could have been avoided….. Daddy should have pulled out. Instead, we have you.

    • ThatBitchToldMe
      May 8, 2018 at 9:45 am

      She worked at Mac Med salon for a few years and they gave her free liposuction 🙂 then when people asked what she did to get skinny she said eat healthy and go to the gym but she never did either of those things! She drank every night and ate horribly for years. She used to make fun of EVERYBODY, especially when a news story was posted about them. Karma is a bitch and it all finally caught up to this prissy ass hoe.

      • I worked there too
        May 8, 2018 at 10:32 am

        Are you retarded?! Mac med doesn’t give anything for free never mind fucking lipo. Yeah she worked there but I can assure you her ass got her nothing for free.

        • Don’tEvenTryIdiot
          May 8, 2018 at 3:35 pm

          Are you retarded ?? You fucking dumbass I said she TOLD ME THAT. Shes a pathological liar so I bet she payed for it, but one way or another she GOT IT. BYE STUPID BITCH

  • Ray Patriarca
    Bill W
    May 6, 2018 at 8:45 am

    Very sad. This girl clearly has a problem. A court ordered stint in detox, a rehab program and some AA is in order here. Plus…. license to operate should be suspended for a long,long time. Hopefully, she will recognize her problem and seek help. AA sweetie, AA !

    • Girls love Caulk
      May 6, 2018 at 11:00 am

      Sentence her to the House of Many Cuts. So she can learn obedience, appreciate pineapple spunk, get her anus hooked and orgy with other young drunks and drug addicts.

      BTW. anybody know where her ptsd, drunk meetings are? Asking for a friend.

  • Nope
    May 6, 2018 at 8:37 am

    She shouldn’t think shes entitled to be getting away with anything because of her looks. Where is she attractive? I dont see it…big bird looking ass bitch. People who drink and drive are stupid and selfish. This girl is just a white trash princess. I would love to see her get jailtime for this..hopefully rehabilitate her low life drunken, junkie ass. Shes still young so maybe she will learn from her mistakes and become a productive member of society and not another useless waste of life

    • Hughbo Mont
      May 6, 2018 at 10:59 am

      I agree. Junior smokeshow my ass. lol

      • SodomitesEndNations
        May 7, 2018 at 11:49 am

        Keep your opinions to yourself you sick sodomite cock sucking cum guzzler.
        You crave cock Turtle readers understand you are sick,

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    May 6, 2018 at 8:37 am

    I don’t think she’s hot. But I’m sure a lot of desperate dudes with lower standards do

    Leigha Genduso is 1000x hotter than her

    Bet she looks 55 in 8-10 years

    • Markus
      May 6, 2018 at 9:08 am

      I agree. Leigha is way hotter than this broad

    • Captain Fartknocker
      May 6, 2018 at 12:23 pm

      Wow ! Low standards! Your wife must be Miss America! Probably a fipasloth. P.s. your comments always suck!

      • Captain Trips
        Captain Trips
        May 6, 2018 at 3:33 pm

        Well…. offended are we? Tells me exactly what you think IS hot.

        I feel sorry for you for never banging a hot chick. It must suck.

        My ex-fiance was a centerfold in Playboy 2 years after I dated her. Guess that answers your response, if any.

        No I’m not going to name her. My family and my wife know all about it and they’re the only ones I ever needed to prove it to.

  • bigdaddy
    Daniel Risteen
    May 6, 2018 at 8:22 am

    I think she is qualified for k-9 position on the MA state police

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      May 6, 2018 at 3:35 pm

      Danny I think you should give her an in-depth interview

    • SodomitesEndNations
      May 7, 2018 at 11:54 am

      The ORAL interview accounts for 90% of the applicants ability to PERFORM on the job duties. The other 10% involves on the knees physical skills test,

  • Burlando Castile
    May 6, 2018 at 3:41 am

    “30 megagram oxycodone”?!? Wow! That’s some serious cartel pill popping. Lol

    I love how she was speeding up to beat a flashing red light. Lol

    Flashing red = stop sign. 

    • NR
      May 6, 2018 at 8:54 am

      Right? It’s not the child’s play milligram, it’s the King Daddy megagram! Lol!

    • I'd cream pie her
      May 6, 2018 at 10:55 am


      “Beat a flashing Red Light” wtf? “sped up to beat the stop sign” dumb ass!!

      Flashing Red Lights just keep flashing, there is no “beating it” same as a stop sign for all you deadly dick-head drivers out there.

  • Papoose Boy
    May 6, 2018 at 1:53 am

    Bet you anything, if I farked this chick, Turtleboy dude there would blow me just to see what she tasted like. lol. Then again, I would just tell him she was a Bills fan with a tampon. hahahhahaha Dickhead.

  • Rectum Wrangler
    May 6, 2018 at 1:45 am

    I’ll creampie her colon

  • She very fucked up
    May 5, 2018 at 11:36 pm

    Jesus titty fucking christ she’s blitzed in that mugshot. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone THAT blitzed before. She won’t be able to get away with that for long because next year she’s gonna look like every other fupasloth. That’s how these things are made. Some start out hot, do lots of hard drugs and become fupasmeagol.

  • panzer9811
    May 5, 2018 at 11:32 pm

    Sometimes beauty IS the beast.

  • just passing thru
    May 5, 2018 at 11:19 pm

    There is an opening for a smokeshow MSP trooper at the Andover barracks… seems she is well qualified

    • itsjustme
      May 6, 2018 at 2:19 am

      I think you need to be a former stripper, drug dealer, money launder, and date/sleep with a high ranking state trooper to qualify for that position. But she has the criminal record, so she is well on her way.

      • Markus
        May 6, 2018 at 9:10 am

        If this is referring to Leigha Genduso, she was never a stripper. The rest may be true but don’t say fake bullshit. Why are people even comparing the two? This Emily girl is a low life junkie

      • Linda
        May 6, 2018 at 9:17 am

        Where is DA Early to help this poor girl out by redacting parts of this police report?

        • bruce hyche
          May 6, 2018 at 9:22 am

          I was thinking the same where is D.A. Early in helping out this poor girl with the disease.We cannot stigmatize her and it may be prejudicial I her defense.

    • Brother Love
      May 6, 2018 at 9:44 am

      Does she have key bartending, drug dealing and money laundering experience? She could be on the fast track to make Captain within 3 years, hell she might even land a spot in the coveted “country club” barracks at Logan.

Comment on this Post


White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?