Hoodrat Heroes

New Bedford Fupapotamus Abandons Moving Vehicle In Discount Liquor Store Parking Lot To Smash Rival Slugpump In The Head With Bottle Of Henny 


New Bedford Live is one of my favorite pages on the Internet. It’s basically one man archiving a collection of World Star caliber videos that all take place within a two mile radius of downtown New Bedford. Today’s video (which we uploaded to YouTube because Facebook has a tendency to remove fun videos like this) comes from Sylvia’s Discount Liquors, and features two wild fupapotamus’ in their natural environment beating the shit out of a rival crack bunny with a bottle and their feet as their MOVING VEHICLE coasts through the parking lot without a driver. Watch:


And that ladies and gentlemen is what a crack-lesbo conflict looks like during mating season. That is the most New Bedford thing these eyes have ever seen. They couldn’t even be bothered to put the car in park the second they saw this crackho, who more than likely committed the unforgivable sin of accusing the driver of taking the last crack rock. That car just kept on rolling.

Luckily a good samaritan saw this driverless Obamamobile coasting through the parking lot and towards civilians and other cars and he alertly jumped into it, put it into park, and ran over to end the New Bedford airing of grievances.

At that point though the damage was done, as the lead fupapotamus had already hit her over the head with a bottle not once, not twice, but three times before it finally shattered.

To her credit the rival actually gets up, continues to fight, and still talks shit after the receiving the hoodrat helicopter.

A lot of people are complaining that the camera man did nothing to try to stop this.

Oh fuck off. I will be the first to admit that there is a 0.0% chance I would even consider intervening if I saw that. I’m glad someone else did, but it sure as hell wouldn’t be my ass jumping in the middle of a syphilis sandwich full of haymakers and broken glass. If you would, that’s great. But calm your tits if you expect everyone else to. The woman who filmed it did more to bring this to light than anyone. People who stand by and film stuff like this aren’t cowards, they’re reporters. The advent of social media has made everyone with an iPhone a citizen journalist, and it’s their job to document this shit. Walter Cronkite won awards for traveling to Vientam and covering the war there. Was he supposed to kill Vietcong too? Get over yourself.

The bottom line is that the “victim” who got her head smashed in by a bottle probably doesn’t even give a shit. This is just your standard Thursday afternoon at the discount liquor store for her, and I’m willing to be it’s not the first time she’s had a bottle of Henny broken over her head. Guaranteed she sought no medical treatment and immediately turned her attention to whose mutton dagger she had to give a tongue bath to in order to get her next bag. Just put some tussin on it and enjoy the fact that we all got to watch this New Bedford urban safari.


Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


44 Comment(s)
  • Kim S Camara
    May 30, 2019 at 9:56 pm

    I think I just pissed a few drops in my shorts reading these super intellectual posts.. God Bless Amerika

  • meep
    May 30, 2019 at 4:58 pm

    Was in New Bedford a week ago on a Tuesday right after school let out. Some drunk cunt was driving around, drunk, with a megaphone, and using its siren feature to cut traffic. Dumb bitch almost made me hit her, but with my luck she stole the car and ate the owner, or just plain doesnt have insurance New Bedford PD just laughed when I called. They said they would keep an eye out but it was pretty obvious they gave a shit less.

  • First Time Caller
    May 30, 2019 at 2:42 pm

    Typical spook fight. It’s never one on one

  • Gorillas In The Mist
    May 30, 2019 at 9:05 am

    Captured in their wild habitat

  • Ray Patriarca
    Ed Maaaahkey's comb-over
    May 30, 2019 at 5:28 am

    Ah, yes !
    Savages being savages !
    And just think ?
    Every day you go to work, work hard, and have money stolen from your paycheck by the Democrats to help support these fine specimens of humanity.
    Yep ! Keep mindlessly and myopically voting the (D) folks !
    You real what you sow !

    • Ray Patriarca
      Ed Maaaahkey's comb-over
      May 30, 2019 at 5:31 am

      Sorry for the typo. My fingers are tired from working for a living…

  • Grundle Butter
    May 29, 2019 at 9:57 pm

    I love this time of the year. At night if you leave the windows open you can hear the moon crickets.

  • Every Real Man
    May 29, 2019 at 6:17 pm

    Fkn Democrats, smh.

  • Secret city syphilis stick
    May 29, 2019 at 5:45 pm

    I’m from New Bedford and yes it is a shit hole for the most part but there are good parts just like any other city this particular plaza is one of the worst with a Price Rite and a Aarons rental next-door and a homeless encampment in the back behind the train tracks you could find these types of activities going on at anytime of the day definitely not for your average white guilt ridden soy boy but if you’ve grown up with These mongoloids you know how to deal with them uncle turtle boy Is 100% right too I wouldn’t Touch either one of these gunt tuggers with Clyde’s dick the fat puke helping is definitely getting head For a rock So for all those snowflakes complaining about someone taping it you go to that Plaza or the Avenue or any other place around the city where this shit goes on and intervene see if you don’t end up with a syringe in your fucking neck

    • Jeff J
      It's So Easy, Everyone Can Do It
      May 30, 2019 at 3:18 am

      Hey Secret city Syphilis….Is your goddamn punctuation broke?? I almost fucking passed out reading your sentagraph.

  • george costanza
    that's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow
    May 29, 2019 at 5:43 pm

    aaargh! if that was me rum they broke open i would send those scalliwags to davey jone’s locker

  • capone181
    Total Mayhem
    May 29, 2019 at 5:35 pm

    Apparently they all don’t wear flowers in their hair and hug in New Bedford.

    How dare us posters taint their experience with cold rationalism and irrefutable logic.

    What are the chances of anyone in this parking lot winning the lottery and the Nobel Peace Prize on their birthday during a lunar eclipse?

  • Captain Trips
    May 29, 2019 at 3:50 pm

    Hey be man be

    Dat be my brudder Fat be Albert be

  • Guntasaurus
    May 29, 2019 at 2:43 pm

    That was a guntasaurus not a fupapotomus. The guntasaurus was long thought to be eradicated in the western world, however government subsidies and white guilt has brought it back from the brink of extinction. The guntasaurus is not easily identifiable as it is often mistaken for the fupapotomus and also the silverback ape-Rex. The main distinction between the guntasaurus and the other savage species is the inability to distinguish where the abdomen ends and the pelvic region begins. The guntsaurus is extremely dangerous and doesn’t give a fuck about anything. If you should be unlucky enough to encounter one in the pavement jungle it is best to not make eye contact and back away slowly. It is always a good idea to carry a watermelon and box of fried chicken when in their habitat to drop before running if one charges, there is a good chance it will stop and take advantage of it favorite meal, a free one bought by a human.

    • Captain Trips
      Jacques Cousteau
      May 29, 2019 at 3:46 pm

      Tossing a basketball or Air Jordan sneakers over to a guntasaurus also tends to distract it during an attack

  • Wade Boggs Taint
    May 29, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    I wonder which 3rd world country is more of a shithole: Botswana or New Bedford. I think this answers that question.

    • z
      May 29, 2019 at 2:22 pm

      according to one web site:

      Botswana is considered one of the safest countries in Africa and violent attacks towards travelers are rare but petty crime does exist. … The good news is Maun, the gateway to the Okavango Delta, doesn’t really experience high levels of crime. Foreigners have been robbed, but it isn’t a common thing.

      So, I guess New Bedford wins that prize.

      • bigdaddy
        May 29, 2019 at 2:31 pm

        But what about Lawrence ? Or are they own special category of shithole

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    May 29, 2019 at 2:11 pm

    They have a very passionate and animated culture.

    • z
      May 29, 2019 at 2:15 pm

      Diversity is to be embraced. Conflict resolution takes many forms and shapes.

  • z
    May 29, 2019 at 2:11 pm

    Concerning the white tee-shirt thing.

    I thought Shirley Hemphill from “What’s Happening!!” died in 1999.

    I’m guessing that was ReRun stopping the mayhem who I also thought was dead.

  • Daniel Crowell
    May 29, 2019 at 2:00 pm

    Orangutangs wearing clothes

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    May 29, 2019 at 1:14 pm

    “Was he supposed to Vietcong, too?” LOL LOL LOL

  • Kenny Banya
    May 29, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    Is this suddenly the final episode of Seinfeld? There is no “Good Samaritan Law”, and thank God for that!

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    May 29, 2019 at 12:00 pm

    Pig Bitches in battle! Love it! Oink! Take a bottle to the head! Oink! Fuck the car! Get the bitch! Oink! Oink!

  • bigdaddy
    May 29, 2019 at 11:57 am

    I am waiting for global warming to raise the sea levels enough to wash New Bedford out to sea

    • z
      May 29, 2019 at 4:58 pm

      Unless it’s a Japanese Tidal wave, they just settle in non-infested areas because there’ll be plenty of time.

  • Mom's Basement
    May 29, 2019 at 11:29 am

    After the Good Samaritan helped the victim to his windowless van he whisked her away to the safety of his S&M dungeon.

  • Walt Ostrander
    May 29, 2019 at 11:16 am

    This is what trumps amerikkka looks like

    • Christopher Lettiere
      May 29, 2019 at 11:26 am

      Special counsel Robert Mueller publicly discussed the Russia investigation this morning, and he explicitly stated there were no circumstances of criminality on the part of DJT.
      #Trump2020, get used to it, buttercup.
      #MAGA #KAG

    • bigdaddy
      May 29, 2019 at 12:01 pm

      Was the person filing using an Obamaphone ?

    • George of the Jungle
      May 29, 2019 at 12:51 pm

      Let them destroy themselves

    • Wade Boggs Taint
      May 29, 2019 at 2:13 pm

      Sorry ass face but that’s the America that Obama created. One of entitlement, welfare dependency and laziness.

      • bigdaddy
        May 29, 2019 at 2:34 pm

        Obama didn’t create entitlement, welfare dependency and laziness but her certainly helped elevated it to a whole new level

    • walt the peedo
      May 29, 2019 at 9:22 pm

      WALT OSTRANDER likes young boys

  • hartf811
    May 29, 2019 at 11:08 am

    End EBT and Food Stamps.
    Looks like nobody is going to starve.

    • Wade Boggs Taint
      May 29, 2019 at 5:02 pm

      True. Unconvicted murderer, rapist and all around shit stain Ted Kennedy is truly at fault. Obama just encouraged it to a fault. Why work when the gubmint will take care of you cradle to grave

  • Julie the Jarhead
    May 29, 2019 at 11:05 am

    I was going to say something about breaking a perfectly good bottle of booze, until I remembered that’s it’s only a Henny.

    • Not Julie
      May 29, 2019 at 3:20 pm

      Get a job yet?

  • Mayor Illegalo
    May 29, 2019 at 10:43 am

    Is this the parking lot where they have the electronic fence that stops your shopping cart in its tracks when you try to take it back to your section 8 shithole?

  • There's No Hope Left
    May 29, 2019 at 10:38 am

  • randiguy2006
    May 29, 2019 at 10:31 am

    Once again, no one throws a good uppercut.


Comment on this Post


All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It